Disclaimer: Still own nothing.
Authors note: Let there be drama! But hey, a good storm always leads to a rainbow right? Hee, rainbow. Anyway, I actually have the next chapter written (it was all originally one chapter but it was long so I made it into two). So with the proper incentive I can have the next chapter up in no time.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who left a review. I hope people aren't disappointed by where they were going.
The drive was spent in silence, save the occasional "left" or "right" from Spencer. Ashley spent the time desperately trying to think up something clever, witty, sexy, or flirtatious to say. Hell, at this point she would even settle for saying something intelligible. She knew she had mess up earlier in her bedroom but she also knew that if she suddenly went back in time and got to do it all again, she would probably end up still panicking. Clearly she had a few issues to still deal with. So years of therapists have gotten me nowhere damn it.
Every time Ashley would dare to glance over at Spencer the girl seemed deep in thought, a small frown on her face. It worried Ashley. Normally Spencer would watch her drive, even from the beginning. Ashley gripped the wheel a bit tighter.
When they finally arrived at their destination Ashley felt a little put off. "A park? Seriously? Spence, there is a park two minutes from my house. Why did we drive for twenty minutes? Are you going to mug me and then steal my car?" Ashley felt proud of herself at attempting humor even though her mind was still questioning what was actually going on.
"This park has something that one doesn't," Spencer responded, pointing to the left.
"A gazebo?"
"Yes," Spencer said simply, walking towards it.
"Well of course. A gazebo. How could I have missed it?" Ashley grumbled, following behind.
When they both arrived and took a seat Ashley started at Spencer expectantly, eyebrows raised.
"There was a park a block away from our house in Ohio," Spencer began. "A park with, you guessed it, a gazebo. But not just any gazebo. The story was that it was built by a man desperately in love with a woman who engaged to someone else. When he presented his love with the gift he explained that no matter who she ended up with, when she was in this gazebo, they would be together. It was their little world, and only theirs."
"That's kinda creepy."
"Shut up! It was romantic! Let me continue. It became a tradition then for a couple in love to go to this gazebo and write their names. Cheesy? Sure. But I thought it was beautiful. The wood was just littered with names and hearts. Surprisingly, no one ever wrote any profanity. It's like everyone just understood the importance."
"Did you ever write your name?" Ashley heard herself ask but not really wanting to hear the answer.
"No. Although I think Glen's name could be found a good many times. And the name of whatever girl of the week. He never really got the point. Anyway, that gazebo was almost like a sanctuary for me. I loved to go there and think. I would stare at the names and wonder who, if any made it. Then I would create stories around the names. Those couples that did make it gave me hope, those that didn't helped me remember that I wasn't alone in what I was feeling."
Ashley felt herself squeezing her hands together. She wasn't sure how she knew, but she could tell that something bad was coming. She knew this story, as amazing as it was to learn about Spencer, was going to somehow come back to her. Ashley watched the blonde's hand as it slowly seemed to stroke the wood as she remained lost in a memory. More than anything she wanted to go to her and hug her. But she had the feeling this wasn't the time. And besides, she didn't want to start panicking at the nearness of Spencer's body again. Not twice in one day.
Spencer continued on. "When we first moved to LA I was lost. And I don't mean geographically. It's a bit of a culture shock. I was scared, confused, alone. Then one day while my brothers and I were driving around, getting to know the area, I found this gazebo and it became my calm in the storm. My safety in all this craziness. It reminded me of home. I felt safe."
Ashley nodded in understanding. She knew those feelings of helplessness and confusion. In fact, it was a pretty accurate description of what she had been feeling a lot lately. Spencer glanced down and noticed Ashley's clasped hands. The blonde sighed and began to reach out and take them before stopping herself. She look down at the wooden floor instead.
"Spence?"
She refused to look back up but didn't continue her story. "And then I met you Ashley and you became all those things and amazingly even more to me. I brought you here because clearly something is going on with you. And it's something to do with me so I know, as much as I wish it wasn't the case, I can't help you be strong. Right now, here, it's just us. This is our little world Ash and we're safe. I won't hurt you, I promise. But I need to know. Ashley…Ash…I want to know why you keep pulling away from me. I know you care about me, but if the direction we're heading isn't what you really want then you need to tell me. I can take it. But if you don't tell me, then I can't be a part of this anymore. I know how I feel and it hurts me that all of a sudden you don't seem to want it anymore. We get close, we're buddy buddy, but you just...please Ash, it's hurting me."
Ashley's vision suddenly became blurred, but she wasn't sure if it was tears or simply the world spinning. She reached out and grabbed the railing of the gazebo suddenly sure she was the one actually spinning. It would explain the headache. Her brain was working fast, trying to come up with an adequate lie, trying to figure out what was actually happening, and trying to figure out where that sharp pain in her heart came from, all at the same time. Run! Just run! RunRunRunRun! her mind began to scream. But she couldn't. This was Spencer and running would mean losing her for good--exactly what Ashley was trying to hard to avoid. She couldn't run, so she did the only thing she could think of to do.
She answered honestly.
