A/N Yay, well here's chapter one! It's a bit serious and dark at the beginning but i'm trying to show you how living with Phil is and how their relationship is. Later in the chapter i introduce badassward. And he'll get more and more badass by every chapter! I think their conversation is kinda funny...but hey i wrote it so of course i would.

Warning: This is rated M. Language, dark themes, and smutty goodness ahead in this story! Also, once again, if your sensitive to abuse of any kind then turn back now!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or it's characters. I asked Stephenie yesterday and the answer was once again NO. I'll crack her some day! But till then, you get the picture...

Enjoy!


Chapter 1: Door To My Rescue

I grabbed the next dirty dish and started scrubbing it. This is what I did. I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned until he came home. Mostly, to have something to do, but I knew that Phil would be angry if they house wasn't clean when he got home. My fire was slowing burning out when it came to him. I tried, I honestly fucking tried to fight him. I remember the first time I tried to show him that I was not okay with him and to not expect a relationship of any sort with me. Fat lot of good that did me…

"Bella, I'm so glad to have you. If there's anything you need, anything at all, then just talk to me."

I smirked to myself, and my face contorted with the anger building inside of me. I took a deep breath and turned around to face him. He looked sincere enough, and that's why I loved the next words out of my mouth, I treasured them.

"Go to hell, Phil."

As soon as the words left my mouth, some sort of switch flipped inside of him. He stalked toward me with a sinister expression. I cringed but started to back away. He put his hands on either side of my face. His eyes suddenly turned soft…not the kind I was comfortable with though…or familiar with.

"Isabella. Beautiful Isabella. There's no need for hate. I need you, Bella. And you need me, too. We can figure out this situation together. Okay, baby?" Right before I made the snarkiest comment that my mind could consume, his lips were crushing mine. I kicked him where the sun don't shine, as soon my mind registered what the fuck was happening. He doubled over in pain and then when he looked back up at me, his expression was murderous. I did the thing I wanted to do most, I spat in his eye. He growled, yeah actually growled, and wiped his eye on his shirt. His expressed stayed murderous as he once again pinned me against the wall. His face was right in mine.

"You have no idea what you have gotten yourself into Isabella Swan. I was going to play nice-"

"I don't need a father!" I wanted mine. No one could replace him, especially when they fucking sexually assaulted me.

He smirked at that. "I don't want to be your father, Bella."

"Good. Because you aren't. You can't be my friend, and you sure as hell can't touch me! Ever!" He put his hand under my chin. I huffed and turned my face away. He grabbed it and made me look at him this time. What I saw in his eyes scared me silent, and that wasn't an easy task.

"I'm going to make things better for us. I'm going to make sure that sure that all your needs are full-filled. That's a promise." And then his lips were on mine again. This time I had no chance of moving whatsoever.

"Lost in though, my dear?" I spun around and glared at Phil. He certainly wasn't supposed to be home yet. I was supposed to be free for another three hours.

"What are you doing home?" I sneered with as much sneering ability as possible. He shook his head and stood up straight from where he was leaning against the wall. He put his hand under my chin like he always did and I turned my face away like I always did.

"I'm hurt, baby. Did you not want me home?" I felt it bubbling inside me. It was coming. Word vomit. I would end up getting in trouble again.

"Three hours that I have to myself and I don't have to worry about gagging at your god-awful face is precious to me."

Then I felt the sting. I sighed and held my hand to my cheek. He slapped me whenever I couldn't keep down the word vomit. He grabbed my face, giving me no choice but to look right into his eyes. I hated his eyes. That's how I knew he was mentally unstable. The first time he did this, made me look into his eyes, I could see it. Something was definitely off. Aside from what already was. It also didn't hurt that he thought we were a couple.

Screwed up bastard.

I wanted my medicine really bad right now, before I had a panic attack. But he enjoyed watching me panic. He waiting till it started and then gave me my meds. I looked into his eyes pleadingly.

"Can I please have my pills now? My hand is starting to hurt."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because."

I scoffed. "Because why?"

He smiled evilly and leaned in to kiss me. I turned my head so he kissed my cheek. He wasn't having it. He yanked my face back and kissed my lips. I pulled my head back until he had to pull away.

He smirked. He knew what affect he had on me. He scared me. I tried not to show it. I tried to be a fighter but deep down I was like a porcupine in a balloon factory. Scared shitless. I threw up the first time he kissed me before I went to bed…and I got violently ill the first time he…yeah I didn't like to think about it. He casually leaned up against the counter where I was trying to finish the dishes threw my tears. He picking up an apple and took a bite out of it and looked down with a furrowed brow. That can't be good. That means he's thinking about something.

"So Bella…we have new neighbors. The Cunnen's…or something and they-"

"The Cullen's", I corrected in a clipped tone. He raised his eyebrows. I sighed, annoyed. I wanted him to go away already. Go away so I could get my pills, get upstairs and lock my door.

"I met Alice Cullen yesterday at the store." I rolled my eyes at the thought. What a spaz that chick is.

"Well, um, anyways…they have three kids…" Ah, yes. The catch. There was always a catch with Phil.

"What are you getting at, Phil? Spit it out", I hissed.

I knew he was going to say something about how we should go over there and have dinner. We did that before, when we had someone move in across the street. It was so that he could prove something to them. So we wouldn't appear suspicious to anyone in the neighborhood. I knew what would happen if I made the mistake of trying to say something again. He would make an excuse about me needing my pills and then he would beat the shit out of me when we got home. Maybe he could do me a favor and actually kill me this time.

He shrugged. "You should introduce yourself to the kids…maybe ask if we could have dinner over there sometime." There it was. I know I would have to anyway. Why bother saying no.

"Yeah, well maybe." He kissed me quickly before I had a chance to turn away and walked upstairs.

As soon as he was gone I gasped at the pain and leaped over to the pantry. I moved things around looking for my two bottles of pills that were absolutely necessary right now. I couldn't f find them! I moved a bottle of Tylenol and there they were in all of their glory. I sighed in relief and grasped them tightly as I popped open the lids…what in the hell are these? I picked up one out of the bottle. It was bright red and had an M on it. He took out my pills and filled it with M&M's. How could I not go trudging in there and say something? So that's what I did.

"Hey douche bag!" He turned around and stared at me like I'd grown a second head. I would have smirked at the fact that he responded to 'douche bag' if it weren't for the pain I was in and the fact that I could hardly breathe without my anti-anxiety pills. His gaze lowered to my hand and saw the M&M's I was holding and he smiled innocently.

"Why Bella, is that any way to speak to your superior?" My superior? Was he serious? My hand tightened on the bottle that was supposed to be my salvation.

"Superior at what, Phil? Being an evil, twisted, dick? Yeah, your superior all right." He walked over to me, and I knew he was going to slap me. He stalked over to me and raised his hand. I raised my hand before he could follow through and my wrist connected with his cheek with a loud smack! His eyes widened. I regretted it instantly. His face was already bright red with the force I put behind it. I had Charlie to thank for that one also. Charlie…my panic attack started getting significantly worse. I couldn't breathe…

"Why, you little…" I was suddenly shoved against the wall. He grabbed something from his pocket. A knife. He held it against my throat.

"I could do it. I could do it now and blame it on suicide. No body would know!" His voice was sounding hysterical.

I knew when this happened he wouldn't remember tomorrow. He had these episodes when I pushed him too far. I knew because I saw the familiar twinkle in his eye. Maybe I could finally get some peace. Be done with all this suffering and be with Charlie again.

"Really, Phil?" I rasped, seeing as though I could hardly breathe before this.

"You won't. You won't do it. You know why? Because deep down your just a scared little boy. Deep down your just a lonely little kid. You-"

But I stopped because his grip on my throat tightened and I couldn't breathe at all. He pressed his knife against my throat and pressed it against it once more. He had never gone this far before… I felt myself slipping into a kind of darkness. He was really following through this time.

"Goodbye, Isabella."

Right as he said those words, there was an abrupt knock on the door. He dropped me and I fell to the ground with a thud. I cried out in pain and tried to stand up. No such luck. I looked out the window to where the front porch was. There stood a boy with bronze hair and vibrant green eyes. His chiseled square jaw was clenched in defiance. He was gorgeous. He looked to be maybe a senior in high school or something. He stood with an annoyed expression and rolled his eyes as Phil answered the door.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen." A Cullen, that would make sense. "You wouldn't happen to have any spare milk would you? My mother was baking and ran out. Shit load of good it will do to wake up the neighbors and get on their bad side."

Phil's Adam's apple bobbed nervously. Edward's eyes narrowed. I hoped he noticed something...and at the same time i hoped he didn't...

"No problem." But his voice betrayed him as it cracked on the word 'problem'. Edward nodded.

"Right. So…", he replied, giving Phil a nod.

Phil walked back into the house, actually patting my head as he walked by. Patting my head as I suffered on the floor because of him! Fucking psychotic. But I think that ship sailed long ago.

He walked back to the door with a jug of milk.

"Here you are", he said as he handed it to Cullen. His voice still held an odd tone to it though.

Cullen nodded and muttered a quick 'thank you' as he walked toward the porch stairs. He stopped suddenly though and turned around. He looked at me through the window. He cocked his head to the side.

"Goodbye, Mr. Cullen", Phil dismissed, clearly wanting him to leave.

I flinched because those words were similar to the ones he uttered to me not five minutes ago. He backed away not taking his eyes off me as he did so.

Phil walked back in and I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact of whatever he was going to dish out. I waiting a few minutes but it never came. I opened my eyes and looked around. Of course, I thought when I spotted him passed out on the couch. I guess Cullen saved my life, for tonight anyway. I silently threw a party in my mind as I crawled over to me and retrieved my medicine in his pocket. I took both meds and by the time they started taking affect I was tired. Only thing was that there was no chance in hell I would fall asleep tonight. I only slept for about two hours every night and tonight that time would most likely be reduced by an hour…or two seeing as though tonight was especially traumatic.

I tried not to think about what tomorrow was, but I failed miserably. First day of school as a junior. The torture never ends. I guess all the attention would be on the new kids tomorrow and for that I was grateful. I was seriously not looking forward to the whispers and the looks of pity shot my way from across rooms. If one person mentioned something about my dad they would end up facing Queen Of Hearts Bella. What with the beheading and all, that shit was scary.

My phone started buzzing in my pocket. The caller ID read Jacob. I sighed and pressed ignore. I hated him. I hated him with a passion so strong that it burned a whole through my none existent heart. He betrayed me. He left me to die. I hated him. he was supposed to be my friend. He was supposed to help me though this whole thing but he ignored it. He ignored me until it was too late. Now he wants to just waltz back in. Ain't going to happen, Jacob Black. Call me all fifty times and text me all those 'I'm sorry, Bella' texts you want, Jacob. It didn't matter anymore. In fact, I think I'm going to change his name in my phone. I typed it in and read it as a devious smirk graced my lips. See I'm nice, I kept his initials.

Jackass Bitch

I nodded to myself, satisfied. I grabbed my notebook, I-pod, and headphones and walked out to my back porch. My sanctuary. I sat down on the porch swing and flipped open to the page I left off on in my notebook. I loved to write. I used to write lyrics when I played guitar but I haven't played since Charlie…left me. Now, I just write stories. I think of myself as pretty good even though I could definitely use some improvement. The story I'm writing is a romance. I snorted to myself. Ironically, I stopped believing in that crap a while ago but I guess I still hope that I can find a love like the characters in my story. Carmen Einaudi is the man and Sherri Burkshire is the woman. It takes place when Sherri decides to take a trip to Italy…long story short, they meet, they don't get along, they keep ending up getting stuck in situations together that are some what funny and smutty, they fall in love. I've been working on it for several months now. I'm not finished yet but I'm about twenty chapters in. I want about fifty chapters though. Maybe even a sequel.

"If you bite you damn lip any harder it might just come off."

I jumped and my notebook went flying at the unexpected sound of someone's voice. I picked up my notebook with a glare already in tact on my face. I turned and came face to face to a smug-ass looking Edward Cullen.

"What the hell do you want? You fucking scared me!" His raised his eyebrows but didn't lose his smug-ass grin.

"I should say the same."

"Excuse me?" I asked incredulously.

"You heard me."

"I have fucking ears. Of course I heard you. What do you mean, 'I should say the same'?" I knew what he was talking about but I wanted him to say it. He smiled and sat down on the porch steps.

"Yeah I get it. Not my damn business. Though...what I don't get is why you let him do it." My heart best picked up faster. I looked up at him with scared eyes.

"I-I don't know what your talking about", I stuttered. Sure, way to not be conspicuous, dumbass. He smirked and rested his head against the porch banister.

"Sure you don't. But I get it. None of my fucking business. So, what were you concentrating on so hard that you almost had to get surgery on your damn face?" I rolled my eyes and waved my notebook at him.

"What the hell is that?"

I rolled my eyes again.

"I like to write."

He snorted.

"Write what?"

I sighed and picked up my pencil that also fell. Hell, everything fell when I jumped.

"Stuff", I answered. It was his turn to roll his eyes.

"What fucking kind of stuff?"

I almost laughed at his tone. Almost.

"A story, okay?" He narrowed his eyes and grabbed it out of my hands before I could protest. I shot him one of my famous 'I hope my eyes burn a whole through your head and you die' looks. Usually that makes people scared shitless, but Edward shrugged at me and looked at my notebook anyway. I gaped at him. What the hell?

"Not bad. Granted you probably don't have any experience. Not bad, Swan." I glared at him and ripped it out of his hand.

"Don't touch my damn stuff-" Then I realized he called me Swan.

"How do you know my last name?"

He smirked.

"What are you talking about, Swan?"

I seethed and shot him a withering look.

"Do you always play games with people?" His smirk fell a tiny bit and he dug in his pocket for something. He pulled out a box of cigarettes. He took two out and I frowned. I smoked before. For about a month after my father died. Phil found them and made me quit because it reminded him of my mother. I winced. She was not my mother. Just a person who gave birth to me and then didn't want anything to do with me. I winced again. I still snuck a pack every now and then.

I looked over to Cullen and noticed he was staring at me cocking his head to the side.

"Cigarettes a sore spot for you, Swan?" I shook my head without hesitation. He didn't need to know personal life. I didn't even know why the hell he was here. His hand extended to me with a lit cigarette.

"No", I said shaking my head.

"Yes", he responded, extending his hand further. I glowered at him.

"I said no."

He shrugged.

"I said yes", he countered.

I sighed and grabbed it from his hand, immediately taking a long drag from it. I closed my eyes as a blew the smoke out of my mouth. His smirk was back in full swing now.

"Why do I get the feeling this isn't your first cigarette?"

I looked down and shrugged.

"Because it's not."

He smiled and took a drag from his own cig and blew it out of his nose. To say that it was the sexiest thing I've ever seen would be a serious understatement. He looked down and smiled a knowing smile to himself. Damn, he caught me staring. That's just what he needs, a bigger ego.

"What are you doing up this late?" I asked suddenly.

"What are you doing up this late?"

I scoffed. What was with this guy an avoiding questions?

"You know, I'm getting really tired of you answering my questions with questions."

He chuckled.

"You know, I'm getting really tired of you avoiding mine as well", he pointed out with a condescending smile. I groaned at his answer.

"Your not a very easy person, are you?"

"No", he answered honestly. I could feel word vomit fill my mouth.

"Yeah I figure that much. I bet you think your so cool. So mysterious and smoldering. I bet it's just an act to get laid. If you want me to fall into some sort of trap then pick someone else. I don't trust people and I don't want to have sex with you. Point blank", I stated bluntly. I probably finally scared this dude off. Good.

He took a last drag from his cigarette and flicked it into the wet grass. He stood up and crouched in front of me. I glared him because of his close proximity. I didn't like close proximity with anything that had a dick. If I was being honest it was most likely fear more than anything else. Not all men are like Phil, I reminded myself. I sighed and looked down. I felt his hand under my chin and I immediately snapped my head up. He frowned at me.

"First of all sweetie, I'm going to take a stab at it and say that you probably think pretty highly of yourself, don't you? Second of all, I'm not putting on any sort of fucking act. I am who I am and you don't have to like it. Thirdly, I came here because I knew what type of person you were the second I saw you talking to my sister yesterday. Scared out of your damn mind. Paranoid of everything around you. I know that kind of person, trust me. Fourthly, and for the record, I don't trust people either. You seemed like you needed a cig. Think of me as your very own nicotine god mother. As for the last thing, I got to say bruised my ego a little bit. You're a feisty one, aren't you Bella?"

I felt the corners of my mouth pull up.

"I'm going to take a stab at it and not even bother asking how you know my name or that I prefer Bella over Isabella. I know you won't fucking give me straight answer if I do. Besides you need your ego cut in fucking half. A bruise won't hurt." He smirked and nodded.

"Definitely feisty."

I glared at him.

"Shouldn't you be getting home. We have school in the morning and it's", I checked my I-pod, "already three in the morning."

He shook his head and my glare depended.

"Why the hell not?"

He sat down next to me on the swing.

"I'm not leaving until you go inside", he stated seriously.

I looked at him incredulously. "Then your going to be here a while."

He shrugged. "Okay. Works with me. I never sleep anyway."

I laughed without humor.

"You happen to be talking to Queen Insomnia here." He smiled and extended his hand. I looked at it, confused.

"Nice to meet you, Queen Insomnia. Edward Mysterious Smoldering Cullen." I cracked a smile and shook his hand.

"Yeah yeah yeah, now that introductions are over, why don't you tell me where I can get some of that crack that your sister is on."

Edward chuckled and shook his head.

"Fucking hyper as hell, isn't she? Unfortunately it's like that naturally. Even worse, it's like that twenty-four-seven."

I shook my head.

"I don't get her kind…"

Edward's brow furrowed.

"Her kind?"

"Happy people."

He nodded with understanding and his eyes softened. For some reason, he looked at me with understanding instead of the pity looks I was used to.

"I hear ya. Prozac all the way", he replied to which I stuck out my tongue in disgust.

He laughed.

"What?"

I shook my head.

"Prozac? The last time I took that shit, I woke up face first on the bathroom floor in nothing but my underwear. Xanax all the way."

He suddenly smirked. Here comes a smug-ass comment.

"Xanax is good but I think I like Prozac better. Especially when you use it."

Knew that was coming. It didn't stop my hand from ever so slightly 'patting' his cheek.

He turned and smiled at me with his hand touching the cheek I slapped.

"Damn chick, you've got strong hands. Might come in handy when we're-"

And then again on the other cheek. I raised one eyebrow, daring him to try me again.

"Rearranging furniture", he finished and smiled sweetly.

I got up, shaking my head. He grabbed my wrist and spun me around.

"Walk over to my house at eight. I'm driving you to school", he once again stated. Damn, this guy is so demanding.

"Do I have an option to say no?"

"No", he answered seriously.

I shrugged.

"Whatever, fancy Volvo owner," I said, eyeing the car parked in his driveway next door.

"See you tomorrow, Cullen."

"You mean later today?" The cornered of my mouth pulled up once again.

"Yeah, later today", I replied with an eye roll.

"See you at eight, Swan."

"Mhm", I said turning around and throwing my hand up in wave goodbye.

"Hey, Bella?" He called.

I stopped and turned around.

"Yeah?"

"Don't forget to take your Prozac."

"Fuck you, Cullen."

He smiled and blew a kiss to me.

"Goodbye to you too, Swan."

This guy was going to seriously get on my nerves especially when he lived next door. Oh, joy.

I didn't respond as I walked into the house. I stopped when I passed the couch. I peeked over to see that Phil was still knocked out. I let out a breath in relief. Though, it might be bad if he doesn't go into work…I would have to spend all day with him when I came home from school.

"Bella?" I heard as I was half-way up the stairs. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Yes?"

I heard him sit up on the couch but I didn't bother turning around. He played me. He wasn't really asleep when I checked on him.

"When you get home from school, we need to have a talk." I felt tears well up in my eyes. Those talks usually didn't go over well.

"Uh, I-I'm going to have homework and things to get done", I tried lamely. I heard him 'tsk' from behind me.

"Bella", he sang in a sing-song voice that made my skin crawl. He put his hands on my hips. I squeaked, not knowing that he was right behind me. I refused to turn around and that probably aggravated him.

"We will have a talk. And it will be one that you never forget."

I felt several tears slide down my cheeks. I just walked out of his grasp and into my room. God help me tomorrow. I knelt down beside my bed and did something that I have neglected to do in a long while. Pray.

God, you probably have so many other things on your hands right now, but can you please do me one thing? Please don't let Phil get me. Just be some miracle save me. And if he does, have him kill me afterwards. I don't want to live with that. Save me. On a more light-hearted subject, please help me figure out the enigma that is Edward Cullen. I'll try to cut down on the swearing and be a little friendlier to people at school. I snorted at that one. At least I'll try.

I sighed and got under the covers, knowing that I wouldn't even bat an eye. I was used to it though. As I lay there, I couldn't help but think of Cullen. He was gorgeous sure, but so fucking infuriating. I still wasn't sure what grade he was in. Probably a senior…maybe a junior like me. I sighed again, something I seemed to be doing a lot lately. Why in the hell was his mother baking at one in the morning? Why did his sister raidiate happiness constantly? Why did he act like he understood my problems? Why did it seem like he actually could? Why wasn't he afraid of me like most people? Why did he want to take me to school in his stupid shiny Volvo? Why am I asking myself all these damn questions? I groaned, frustrated. Maybe Isabella Swan finally met her match.

One thing I know for sure is that Edward Cullen saved my life with a knock on the door today.


A/N Hit or miss? Parts you liked and didn't like? I love badassward but you haven't seen anything yet. He gets worse ;) REVIEW!

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