Disclaimer: as always, I own nothing, no copyright infringement is intended.
Once the jet landed and their paperwork was done, Reid and Emily went to a restaurant about half-way between their respective apartments. They had ordered their food and Emily was patient enough to wait until their food had arrived before asking Reid about his decision to leave.
"So, what is your thinking?" Emily asked.
"What do you mean?" Reid asked.
"You know what I mean, Dr. Reid. You resigned, remember? Now don't get me wrong, it's nice to get a short history of restaurants in this country and, unlike Morgan, I do enjoy your dissection of 'Star Trek' misquotes, but you promised to explain your decision to leave. When you're done, you can explain to me how Kirk never said "Beam Me up Scotty."
"You enjoy it when I do that?" he was surprised.
"I do. I'll admit, part of it is watching Morgan roll his eyes when you do it."
Reid involuntarily smiled and looked down at his food. A thought suddenly occurred to Emily.
"Reid, " she said, "is that why you do it? Because you know you'll get a rise out of Morgan?"
"No. Well, that's not the whole reason. It does, however, make me smile when he does that."
Emily laughed. "That's great. Does he know that?"
"You would really think a profiler like him might at least consider the possibility."
Emily laughed a little bit more then took another bite of her food. "You still didn't answer my question."
"What question was that?"
"Why are you leaving? I know you Reid, and if you made the decision, then you gave it a lot of thought. So, why are you leaving?"
"I think you mean, am I leaving because of JJ?"
"No, that isn't my question. It might be what every one else is asking, but it's a flawed question."
"How so?"
"It presupposes that you want to leave just because JJ isn't here anymore. I know better than to make an assumption like that."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I suppose it's possible that's why you want to leave, but it's not a good idea to begin an interview with an assumption-laden question like that. So, tell me, why did you decide to leave now?"
"It's hard to explain."
"I have faith in your ability to articulate your thought process. So, stop avoiding the question and tell me."
"Well, I guess to be fair, it has a little to do with JJ."
"Okay. In what way?"
"She's not the first team member to leave since I joined the team. But her leaving is different. It isn't like Elle or Gideon."
"Elle?"
"Elle Greenway. She left before you came here."
"So, I took her spot?"
"No. The spot was open because she wasn't there, but it wasn't her spot."
"What happened?"
"She..." Reid hesitated. "Hotch kind of forced her to leave, after she shot a suspect."
"There's more to it than that, isn't there?"
"Yeah. She ...uh...she went undercover and it didn't go well. First, she went off script, then she followed him and...she was cleared, but Hotch thought she killed him intentionally. The truth is, she probably came back too soon."
"Back?"
"An unsub shot her in her house."
"Oh my God."
"She came back before her leave was over, and we ... we should've known better." He was quiet for a moment. "I guess the same is true of Gideon."
"What do you mean?"
"When we talk about Boston now, we think about George Foyet. Before that, though, Boston meant Adrian Bale."
"That name's familiar. Isn't he a bomber? Gideon caught him, right?"
"Yeah. And lost 7 agents in the process. He was on medical leave for 6 months afterwards."
"He was hurt?"
"Not physically. Psychologically..." Reid's voice trailed off.
"You think he came back too soon?"
"We push ourselves into the work. Look at Hotch and Rossi. They sacrificed their marriages for the job. There are more agents that do it all the time. But those are at least their choices."
"Now you are talking about JJ."
"A little. I don't have much of a family, but that's my choice. I don't have much of a life outside the job, but it's still my choice. I only have so much time to make a difference in the world before ... I don't want someone else to decide how I make that difference."
"What do you mean you don't have much time?"
"Emily, you know about my mother. Her disease, I mean."
"Reid, you know there's no guarantee you're going to have it."
"But I won't know until it happens. So, it's better to assume I will and plan for it. If at any moment they can take me away... I understand it can happen. If that's part of the job, then that's unacceptable. I can handle everything except being forced to accept I position I don't want."
"Do you think they will, move you somewhere else?"
"I don't know. I don't think so, but I didn't think they would take JJ away either. Plus, thinking about JJ and Gideon, it just made me remember New Orleans."
"New Orleans?"
"You remember, the case where JJ first met Will? The case when I ..." he cleared his throat," when I ignored you calling me. When I chose to stay behind?"
Emily remembered. It was the case where she was sure Reid was using, when she knew beyond a doubt that something was wrong. She had to be careful how she responded to him now. " I remember."
"At the time, I told Gideon I wanted to know if I could walk away."
"And?"
"I think I want to walk away now. If it's only a matter of time before I end up like Mom, then every moment is precious. And I don't want top waste it in an organization that doesn't values us as people. Not anymore. Can you blame me?"
Emily shook her head. She understood exactly where he was coming from. She put her hand on his and said," just promise me you're leaving isn't good-bye."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I'm going to miss you. You're one of the good parts of this job, and I don't mean missing having someone who can read an entire bookshelf in a few hours. I mean I like spending time with you. I don't want to say good-bye to you."
"Really?"
"Really. If you feel like you have to walk away from the job, I respect that. Just don't walk away from your friends. That's all."
Reid smiled. "I won't."
"Good. Now, tell me some more about Star Trek."
"Like what?"
"You said Kirk never said 'Beam me up, Scotty."
"Well , he didn't." And for the next 15 minutes Reid explained in detail how it was an incredibly misquoted.
Emily listened with a smile on her face, whether because she really enjoyed his company or because she enjoyed her food, Reid didn't know.
