CHAPTER 2
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April 20, 2013
I.
My stupid literary theory class exam is coming up. I am studying my pretty little head off. Before all that, I have been filling bits and pieces of this week into my diary, so that I can organize my thoughts and then write them down to give a complete report to my imaginary readers, who of course, love my story and writing. Because come on, it's as interesting as hell. I think it is anyway.
Ino and I were browsing through Yaoi mangas last Saturday in Chapters, the bookstore. Meanwhile, Ino was signing her name on the letter we wrote to the manager of Chapters. A complaint that prays for him to separate the yaoi manga from regular manga. We wrote it professionally, of course.
"To whom it may concern:
I have a complaint. You see in the world of manga, there are generally two types of illustrators. The ones who supports heterosexual relationships, and one that does not. Unfortunately, for those readers who are not comfortable reading homosexual manga, it becomes disturbing for us if they are mixed up on one shelf. We are not against the homosexuals, we simply would like them to be shelved on different shelves so we do not pick up a book and fall in love with it and have it turn out to be gay porn. I am extremely sorry for the trouble but legal actions will be taken if we do not reach a compromise. The following are 231 signatures of fellow Chapters' customers.
Sincerely, Not-Yaoi Fan Girls"
And the rest of the signatures are all from the yaoi fangirl's club.
We, that is Ino, Tenten and I, thought it was high time for us to separate the yaoi manga from the straight manga. While I enjoy both, after finding out my fiancee was re-enacting the exact same scene from Junjo Romantica, I decided to read more into yaoi manga to understand the psyche of my ex-fiancee and his lover. It was not the best place to study from, as I really don't know if the manga artists are kidding when they illustrate the following conversation:
Top: [grasp onto Bottom's arms and pushed him up against a wall] Running away, are you? [Cue evil smile.]
Bottom: [blushes and looks away] Let go of me~~ Let go~~
Top: [More evil smile, accompanied by a low chuckle] Mhmm... you're pink, I wonder where else you're pink... I intend to find out. I can wait to bury myself inside you~~ [Then cue squeezing and touching action].
Bottom: [Groans] You're so bad~~
And that's basically how it goes on.
I asked Ino, "Dude, add a pair of boobs to this cute little boy and it's a shojo manga."
"Boy-girl (otherwise known as BG manga) manga just doesn't cut it anymore. We want kinks, we want stimulation." Ino said. "Besides, didn't I tell you about my theory of yaoi fans?"
"You did." I rolled my eyes.
Her theory was simple. Imagine a wildly romantic movie or book. Where everything is what a girl dreamed of and wanted. The girl watching or reading it, while living her fantasy, because the male protagonist is super hot and good looking. Now, if a extremely pretty female protagonist is paired up with him, then the readers would be mad. They'd be going, "Bitch get away from ma man." If an average and plain girl got paired up with him, the readers will be outraged. "Bitch, I look better than dat!"
So the only solution is to pair up the hot guy with another man. It doesn't really matter if that man is hot or not, just as long as he's cute. The readers then won't have a public outcry and threaten to slaughter the author.
This was her simple theory, but she managed to write an essay on it in our Queer Theory cultural studies course.
"Besides," Ino adds. "The only true love out there is man on man love."
"How so?"
"'Cuz men don't bitch, Sakura."
I stared at her, and then said, "Ino, are you ever going to get married?"
"Of course I am." Ino said. "I'm going to marry Shikamaru, then dump him mercilessly. Then I'll date Sai. Afterwards I'll dump him too and then pair both of them up with each other."
I looked away in shame, because I did not want the passerbys to think I know this girl.
Both of us sat down in Starbucks as Ino begin to fondle the new manga series she bought. Her family is rich so she can afford them. My family isn't too bad, but I'd much rather spend my money on clothing and things that makes me prettier. Although, I can honestly say that I gave up a little after the whole fiancee fiasco. I realize no matter how much make up or brand names I buy, they would make me happy, yes, but they would not help me seduce a man who is gay.
"Are you thinking about Naruto again?" Ino frowned.
"No." I denied pathetically.
"I have a piece of information that might make you feel better." She whispered.
I raised my eyebrows.
"Shizune, she graduated a few years ago, and now she's the family doctor of the Uchiha." Ino looked around before whispering, "I talk to her every now and then, and guess what she told me."
"What?"
"She told me that... The younger Uchiha is not gay."
"What?" I stared at Ino. "That's impossible."
"Let me finish." Ino give me a glare. "He's not gay, but he's bisexual."
I felt a lump in my throat.
"Apparently he slept with half the town."
"So he's the type of guy that has no standards." I said, while I honestly don't know what to feel.
"Correct." Ino give me a pat on the back. "Don't worry. I -Oh, Sai's text. Look."
I looked over on her phone, the text was from Sai. He had texted, 'Ino, Sakura, help me with Prof. J. Paper due by the end of Summer.'
Ino texted back, 'Prof. J, huh. Art thy love-hole-on thy bottom-still intact?'
Sai's reply was, 'I condemn thee, thy love-hole isn't intact. Thou and thy entire family's love-hole isn't intact.'
We both were laughing our head off-except, that's when I saw Naruto's head plastered on the Starbucks's glass window. He was staring at me with such longing and guilt that I had to look away.
He didn't come in, because he knows that I have a restraining order against him. I stood up solemnly and picked up my coffee while politely asking my barista if I could leave through the back door.
II.
On Monday, I went to school to show Tsunade my research and data. She scanned it over in five minutes and asked, "Derive a thesis by the end of the week. Your research is too messy for me to tell."
She didn't slam it, so yay for me.
I was so happy I almost bounced all the way to the lab, where Ino was in her lab coat and grinding deer antlers into dust. I sat behind her and watched as she carefully calculated the exact amount on the scale and dumped it into a beaker with a boiling brown liquid.
"If I didn't know you better, I'd say you're making an aphrodisiac for men... to use against other men." I said.
She turn back to glare at me through her goggles, and said, "Who said I didn't try?"
"Did it work?"
"Ask Shikamaru."
Shikamaru is one of the main DA working along side the commissioner.
Then I decided it's probably time to get an expert opinion on this.
"So Ino, I was thinking..." I begin.
She sat down beside her boiling brown liquid.
"Do you think... Naruto is into... BDSM?" I asked.
This is the type of question that would never, ever, phase Ino. In fact she once wrote a paper on BDSM. I read it, it's quite interesting, and quite twisted.
"Naruto?" Ino thought back of her impression of him, and then shook her head, "Nah."
"How could you tell?" I asked, "I mean that guy, that Sasuke guy, he looks like a Dom."
"Sasuke?" Ino thought back, "Nah."
"How could you tell?" I glared.
"Well." Ino begin, "If they entered a Dom-sub relationship, there will be signs. Despite what you think, BDSM relationships are not that common."
Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking about, how common it is.
She then said, "Think about Naruto's family. The Uzumaki. Would they allow their son to be a sub? Besides, if something as big as this was going on between those two, I could definitely tell. Normally there's lack of nutrition, then signs of bruising in unexpected places, in more extreme cases, piercing, public humiliation, or forced orgasm. So far, I have concrete proof that Naruto doesn't even see Sasuke anymore."
"The fuck?" I asked. "How can you get in touch with the two of them?"
"My dad works in the police. Interrogation unit, duh." Ino rolled her eyes. "Tracking someone is easy."
I stared.
"Ok, I admit. I was intrigued by their relationship. Especially since Sasuke is so hot." She giggled. "I was hoping to capture the two of them on camera of video, then I would write a novel about it. Forbidden relationships -when will this pure bitter sweet torture end, ah, my poor heart..."
I don't quite know how to respond to that. Luckily, Tenten came in. She asked straight away, "How's the Chapters protest going?" Referring to our letter to the manager.
"It's going." I replied. "I don't know if Chapters will take us seriously though. Especially, when we forged like one hundredsignatures."
"They fucking better." Tenten raised her voice, "I'm tired of going to the manga section, picking up a beautifully drawn book and it turned out to be a BG manga, I mean, just shoot me!"
"I agree." Ino rolled her eyes, "I am sure if given the chance, I can convert every girl on campus to yaoi-fangirls. Then I will go on with my grand mission and convert the guys to yaoi-fanboys."
"Your only accomplishment so far is Sai... and you sort of failed. He's going out with someone and we don't even know the gender." I hide my laughter by pressing a napkin on my mouth. Because we're all girls in our glass, we all tried very hard to pressure Sai into reading yaoi books and manga. He does what we tell him to do. He seriously reads them, but I have a feeling he doesn't get pleasure from it. After he finishes with them, Ino quizzes him, and he answers like he was just reading a text book.
"I'm going to be real disappointed if Sai's lover is a girl." Ino declared. "Just when you thought you know a guy for two years, he pulls a fast one on you and dates a girl. Ugh!"
Sai was just entering the lab, but upon hearing Ino's declaration, he retreated quietly and ran away.
III.
I spent the next couple of days working my ass off on my thesis. I took my work to the Starbucks in downtown during the day. There's too many crowded students in the library on campus during the day, and in downtown everyone's working in an office, so Starbucks is fairly quiet with individual secluded booths.
The booth is a magical booth. It blocks out the sounds while it gives you a superb view of the streets. And also it's the perfect distance from the door and the speakers, so it's not too cold nor too loud. Unfortunately, someone was sitting there when I approached. She's a pretty red-headed girl.
I spent three seconds to adjust my expression in the lewdest way possible, then I smiled-no, grimaced-at her and winked, "Girl, you're pretty. Gimme your number?"
"Bitch!" She yelled before taking her drink with her and ran away.
I took my booth with pride and dignity.
In truth, I was very far away from a thesis. I still have to re-organize my data and derive some sort of pattern from it. It's driving me crazy because Tsunade insisted there is more to the Styphnolobium japonicum than its sweet flavor and deliciousness. It's a salad my Grandmother makes everyday during the summer from pagoda trees. I used to hated collecting them because the petals fly everywhere. If I have to discover some sort of combination that could be potentially lethal or potentially cure cancer, I hope Tsunade doesn't expect me to do it in this life time, because I will stab myself through the-
Son of a bitch.
I looked up from my tablet and saw the Uchiha Sasuke is sitting right in front of me.
He's dressed in a tux. A fine tux. A tux I could recognize that is made from silk or some variation of. His tie seemed to be sparkling, and I realized the damned tie is criss-crossed with rose gold threads. His hair seemed to have this "just rolled out of bed" look that make it all tousled and sexy, while his eyes were fixated on me and his lips curled into a slight smile -one so slight I can't even tell if he is smiling or not. All I know is that he's not mad, but he's not happy either.
If I wasn't weak in my knees, I'd tell him, 'Bitch you stole my fiancee. Get out of my sight."
But alas, I was weak in my knees, and my brain start to hurt from his eyes, which I swore could shoot out lightening and zap me into a repeated euphoria. It was even worse when he begin to speak.
"Sakura."
I suddenly found myself staring at him and begging him to keep on talking. Talk, you son of a bitch! For the love of god say my name again, and again, and again!
However, my pride and reason always won over my emotional desires. As I sat straight and looked back at him with cold eyes, I replied, "Uchiha, leave me alone."
"Pardon me, Sakura-san." He begin, "I would like to-"
I did not let him finish. I poured my half drank, cold green-tea latte over his suit. He was so surprised he widened his eyes for a fraction and stared at me. Using this time I packed up my crap and stuffed it into my leather bag. I have never regretted not carrying a backpack this morning more than then, and I ran out the door before he could do anything else.
It should be a fundamental law that one should not have to talk to her ex-fiancee or her ex-fiancee's lover. As both disgust me to the point that I would loose my appetite for the rest of the day. Especially, when I have tiramisu lined up in the fridge for me.
Besides, I warned him not to approach me. I told him to leave me alone.
IV.
Chapters replied, they said they will consider it.
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TBC
A/N: Re-upload, edited by InsaneScriptist. In fact most of this fic will be edited by her unless stated other wise. A thousand thankyous to her.
