Taking Chances
Chapter 2
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Perry Cox entered his apartment after Glee practice and instead of a glass of scotch his wife, Julie, always held out for him; in her hands were two glasses of champagne. He also noticed that a banner hung above Julie's head that read: 'Congratulations!'
"What's going on?" Perry asked his smiling wife. "Did Hugh Jackman finally die in the fiery crash that I've wished upon him for years?"
Julie kissed him tenderly on the mouth.
"Even better," she told him.
"I don't know what's better than that rat bastard getting what's coming for him," he interjected.
Julie rolled her eyes, before making an announcement that would end up knocking him on his ass,
"I'm pregnant Perry."
Cox's eyes widened. Julie and he had been trying to conceive a child for a while now and until this point, they had been unsuccessful. He couldn't believe this good stroke of luck. Perry had wanted to be a father more than anything, ever since his wife put the crazy idea in his head that they were ready as a couple for children. Now, thoughts were rushing through his head about playing hockey with his future son or teaching his little girl how to sing. Just imagining these things made him grin and made him feel an emotion that at the moment he couldn't quite put his finger on.
"Julie, that's wonderful," he said, picking her up and spinning her around (thank god that he went to the gym everyday or he'd never be able to do that), before kissing her long and hard on the mouth.
Julie's big smile never wavered as she handed him a glass of champagne and toasted,
"To our first child,"
Perry clinked his glass against his wife's. Even though it wasn't scotch, he still downed the champagne and then took Julie's,
"Well, someone has to drink it," he explained with a cheeky grin.
Julie pouted, "You should be nice to me Perry. I'm pregnant!"
"I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that," Perry said, not even bothering to berate himself for sounding like such a girl, before he bent down and captured his wife's lips with his own once again.
It was in that moment that Perry Cox suddenly realized what mysterious emotion he was feeling for the first time in years. He was happy.
After the bell for fifth period rang, which signaled that it was time for lunch, Elliot Reid made her way to her locker to change her books. She had had an okay morning. Elliot hadn't tripped over her own feet (surprisingly that happened a lot to the sophomore), but her Biology teacher had yelled at her in front of the class for talking at an 'inhuman' speed. This had then caused some of the boys in the backroom to do chipmunk imitations of her and Elliot hated being compared to tiny mammals, so the blonde was forced to hide in the janitor's closet for the rest of the period and now smelled like urinal cakes.
She sighed and was just about to slip her Intermediate German textbook into her bag, when a familiar voice caught her attention,
"JD, what the hell! I just heard from Carla that you joined Glee Club! Is this true?"
Kim Briggs was unfortunately her locker neighbor. In Elliot's mind, the other girl was one big high school cliché. Kim was blonde, beautiful, head cheerleader, popular and also her new male lead's girlfriend. Elliot despised the other girl, but took comfort in the fact that while she was going to make it big on Broadway, Kim would be stuck in San DiFrangles , probably as someone's trophy wife.
"Yeah, it's true," Elliot heard JD admit with a small sigh, "but this is the first time I've felt like my old self since I put on this letter jacket Kim. I really enjoy performing."
"Are you having one of your gay days again JD?" the cheerleader asked her boyfriend frankly. "Is that why you joined? Because if so, you need to get yourself under control. People are starting to talk and they are calling me your big gay beard. Kim Briggs is no one's beard."
Why does he put up with such a jerk-face? Elliot wondered, while pretending to straighten something out in her locker so she could listen in on the couple's conversation a little bit longer. She was an eavesdropper. So what?
"Look Kim, I gotta' go…" JD began, but Kim plowed on.
"What will it take you to quit that band of losers? I swear I'll compromise with you JD," she said and then added seductively, "If you resign from that Glee Club, I'll let you go all the way,"
Elliot rolled her eyes.
"Really?" JD asked in a hopeful voice that made her heart sink in her chest.
"Uh no, I'm president of the celibacy club, remember?" Kim shot back. "Zoom, zoom, zoom,"
"Zoom, zoom, zoom is mine," Elliot heard JD mutter.
"Don't give me those puppy dog eyes JD," Kim told her boyfriend. "How about this instead, I'll let you touch one of my boobs."
"Under the shirt?" JD asked in that hopeful voice again.
"Over the bra," Kim countered.
There was a pause and Elliot knew that JD was considering this idea. Her heart sank further. Was he really going to abandon the Glee Club just to touch Kim Briggs bra? He couldn't be that pathetic. Finally he broke the silence,
"I really have to go Kim," JD told the cheerleader. "I have history with Townson in two minutes and I don't want to be late,"
"This conversation isn't over JD!" Elliot, who was now smiling, heard Kim yell to her retreating boyfriend.
Elliot watched JD walk away before closing her locker. She zipped up her backpack and was ready to make a quick getaway, when someone grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around.
"Eavesdrop much lopsided?" Kim asked scathingly, highlighting the fact that Elliot's right boob was bigger than her left one. Elliot felt the blood rush up her face. She didn't think anyone had noticed!
"I don't know what you're talking about…" Elliot lied, her voice getting higher and higher with each word.
"Cut the crap and let's have a little talk," Kim said with a fierce glare. "I know you're the leader of the little freak show that my boyfriend is insistent on belonging to. So, here is my warning to you. JD is mine. You can perform with him all you want, but you can never have him. You got that Reid?"
"You're just jealous," Elliot retorted. "It sucks. Trust me because I know the feeling. Like one time at math camp, this boy named Oscar told me that I was his girlfriend and the next day I caught him making out with that little Fraction slut Julie after our trigonometry lesson. See at math camp, we were separated into groups by which cabin we were staying in. Julie was a Fraction and I was a member of the Square Roots. We Square Rooters were the best," Elliot added with a happy sigh and then continued to reminisce, "but anyway, I ended up hating Julie after that. I also ended up in the outhouse crying after she told me my eyebrows were crooked…"
Kim sighed exasperatedly.
"Just stay away from my man, you crazy freak,"
"My rising stardom is intimidating to you Kim. I get it. But JD and I have made a connection through our talent," Elliot told the head cheerleader with her arms folded firmly over her chest. "You're just going to have to learn to deal with it."
Kim just gaped at her and Elliot, satisfied that she had made an excellent argument, turned away from the other girl so she could walk towards the cafeteria to finally begin her lunch. However, before Elliot could take even one step, a purple slushy hit her directly in the face.
The cold, fruit flavored liquid stung her skin like someone had just slapped her and Elliot could feel the tears well up in her eyes as people in the hallway began to laugh outright at her. It was probably in the top ten of mortifying situations that Elliot had been thrown into, but what Kim cried out next, made it a hundred times worse,
"Zoom, zoom, zoom,"
Frick on a stick with a brick.
Perry Cox entered Glenn Matthews office, without knocking, and to his annoyance he realized that his arch-nemesis, Robert Kelso, was already sitting down inside. The short, grey haired man flashed his fellow staff member a smile that could only be described as pure evil.
"Perry!" the Cheerio coach exclaimed with false cheerfulness. "It's so nice of you to join us."
Cox scowled and then swiped at his nose, "Bobbo, I hate to break it to you, but the next train to hell leaves in a half hour. I'm really sorry big guy, but you arrived a bit too early. Maybe, you and your pitchfork can wait outside until I'm done talking to Jumpsuit over here because right now it's kind of hard to squash the overwhelming desire to tear out my own eyeballs that happens whenever I see you. I swear that I'm this close," Perry made a small space in between his thumb and pointer finger, "to doing it."
"Lots of wind today Matthews, am I right?" Kelso joked and smiled again, but it never reached his eyes.
The Janitor didn't reply to the Cheerio's coach and instead told Perry,
"Sit down Angry Spanish teacher,"
The glee club director obeyed, but not without glaring at Bob first.
"What is this all about?" Perry demanded to know. "And why is Kelso here?"
"Bob has brought this to my attention," Matthews held up a battered copy of the 'California Show Choir Rule Book', "Do you realize how many members you need in your glee club to qualify for Regionals, Mr. Cox?"
Perry shrugged. He honestly had no clue.
"Twelve," Lurch informed him. "And according to the list you've given me, you only have six members, which leaves you six short," he then added, "and don't question my mathematical skills. Just because I was a Janitor, it doesn't mean I can't do simple arithmetic."
Shit.
Cox put his hands behind his head and resisted the urge to punch that triumphant smirk Kelso was now wearing off of his face. Perry knew he had to think of something quick or Matthews was going to pull the plug on his crazy experiment that was glee club.
"Give me some time to recruit some more kids," Perry found himself for the first time in his life begging. He didn't even care at this point that Kelso was there to witness it.
"You have two weeks," Matthews told him and Cox nodded firmly, "You are both dismissed."
Perry got up and quickly headed for the door. He was nawt in the mood to hear Beelzebob gloat. Without turning around to see if Kelso was behind him, he took off in a jog towards the office of the one person he counted in this dump for advice.
"Perry, with all these favors you're asking me lately, I think you're starting to become my bitch," Jordan informed him with a smirk.
Cox scowled. There were always drawbacks to coming to Jordan for help. Her evil nature was one of them.
"Look Slag, I'm r e-he-he-healy not interested in duking it out with you right now," Perry told her. "I swear that this time I don't need your advice just for my own sake. Think of the kids Jordan. They need glee club more than I do. Do it for them."
Jordan burst out laughing.
"Seriously Perry?" the guidance counselor shot him an incredulous look. "Let's cut the crap because that was weak, even for you. We both know glee club is a feather in your own cap. You want revenge against Bob for besting you all these years and you want the walking cleavage you keep chained up at home to fulfill every pre-teen fantasy you have, when you finally manage to win Nationals."
"Did you just call my wife walking cleavage?" Cox asked. His eyebrows shot slightly up.
Jordan shrugged, "Hey, don't act so surprised Per-Per. You know it's true."
Perry shook his head, but chuckled nonetheless, "You are one wicked woman Jordan Sullivan."
The guidance counselor smirked, "Thanks," she said and then sighed, before continuing, "I guess I can drop some of my infinite wisdom on you. Hopefully, it can penetrate your brain through that ridiculously curly hair of yours."
"Did anyone ever tell you how charming you are?" Perry questioned his friend. His voice was dripping with sarcasm.
Jordan ignored him and instead told Cox, "Here's what you have to do. Go to our boss aka Freak Show and ask him if your glee club can perform at the school's pep-rally on Friday. If he grants you your wish, then you better hope that your band of losers are capable of putting on a halfway decent show because if they do, some of the brats here will be inspired to join your little club. Then from there you can sweep Regionals, take Nationals, and then you'll get all the tail you want from your blonde bimbo. It's practically a fairytale ending!"
Perry rolled his eyes, but silently agreed with the guidance counselor. Indeed, this pep-rally was the glee club's best chance at the moment.
The Spanish teacher then grudgingly thanked Jordan, who informed him that for her trouble he owed her some rice cakes and a bottle of vodka. Apparently her advice didn't come free and he found himself wondering what she charged the children.
After escaping the clutches of the guidance counselor's lair, Perry returned to Glenn Matthews' office. Luckily for him, it didn't take too much effort to convince the former janitor to let the glee club perform at the pep-rally. Unfortunately, in exchange for the favor, Perry did have to promise to give the principal's 'rape van' a washing and a polish, but it was a sacrifice he was willing to make.
"May you live long and prosper Angry Spanish teacher," the Janitor said as he exited his office.
Perry rolled his eyes and wondered for the hundredth time,
Who lets this fucking weirdo around children?
"Hey Dorian, where you headed?" Drew Suffin called out to him, as he tried to make a quick and unnoticeable exit from the locker room.
Rats, the quarterback thought with a sigh of defeat, foiled again.
JD then turned around to face his teammate. He knew he just had been caught red handed trying to sneak to the socially forbidden Glee practice by one of the scariest and craziest guys at Sacred Heart Academy (Rumors were floating around that Suffin had set a shrimp boat on fire last summer! He had to be deranged). Panic instantly set in and the quarterback wanted more than anything to make a witty comeback at Drew to save himself from an ass kicking, but all his stupid brain could think of was 'So's your face' and that really didn't fit the situation. So, instead, JD just stared back blankly at his teammate. It reminded him of a deer caught in the headlights…
"Vanilla," Turk jabbed his best friend in the ribs with his elbow, interrupting the triggering of one of weird fantasies that would have suck him completely in, "you were about to drift off."
"Thanks SCB," JD said and flashed Turk a grin.
"SCB?" his best friend repeated, clearly confused.
"Super Chocolate Bear," JD replied brightly. "I just thought of it right this second. Do you like it?"
"Dude, I just don't like it," Turk told him with a smile that depicted nothing less than adoration. "I love it."
The two exchanged high fives.
Drew cleared his throat, "Okay, the little love fest you two are having right now is kind of giving me the creeps and this is coming from a kid who's father sometimes dresses up like his mother to confirm that he is 'pretty'," JD's eyebrows shot up. This guy was c-r-a-z-y. "You two weirdoes need to cool it."
JD and Turk muttered their apologies. Even though JD would never normally deny their bromance, the last thing he needed right now was to get into a fight with Drew Suffin. Not only was he prone to bruising, but JD's ass would definitely be handed out to him on a silver platter and Kim loved his ass, so he couldn't have that...
"You never answered the question Dorian," Drew growled, "Where are you going?"
"Um, well," JD began to stammer. He was quiet for five long seconds, before he suddenly blurted out, "My mom has rabies!"
A murmur passed through the locker room
"Rabies, really?" Drew asked, once everyone quieted down, and shot him a look that showed his suspicion.
"Yes," the quarterback confirmed the lie, "I have to bring her to the doctor in a half hour for her rabies pill. So, if you'll excuse me," JD brushed past Suffin, who stood between him and the exit, "I need to get going before my mom bites our mailman or something and passes on that horrible, horrible disease."
Luckily for JD, no one attempted to stop him, as he strode purposefully out of the locker room and towards his real destination- the choir room. Halfway there, his cell phone started playing the Sanford & Son theme song. JD instantly knew that it had to be a text message from Turk.
Black Whale: Rabies pill? Fo-serious dude?
J-Dizzle: I kno. I kno. I was in a pickle. Did Suffin at least buy it?
Black Whale: I think he did… for now. Its gonna get out sooner or later man
J-Dizzle: It already did. Your gf got hold of it and told Kim
Black Whale: don't say anything or she'll murder my ass, but my Latina princess is a gossip. Im really sorry man.
J-Dizzle: Dont worry C-Bear. We're cool… Btw we're still nilla and choco right? I didnt mean anythin I told Suffin b4
Black Whale: we're bears 4 life. Nothin will ever change that
J-Dizzle: Solid. Peace brotha
"Newbie!"
JD yelped; causing his phone to slip out of his grasp and then promptly falling to the floor with a clatter.
Uh oh, the quarterback thought, not even caring at this point if his cell phone was broken or not.
Mr. Cox walked towards him with a menacing glint in his eyes and JD couldn't help, but gulp. He knew he was in big trouble by the way the glee club instructor swiped at his own nose and took a deep breath, which JD knew through his experience in 9th period Spanish class, signaled that he was about to go on a very long rant.
"Do you realize what time it is Cynthia?" Mr. Cox snarled, baring a row of white teeth that reminded the quarterback of a shark ready to devour his next meal.
"Uh, well, I think it's before 4:30," JD mumbled while keeping his eyes glued to the floor.
"Wrong!" the Spanish teacher bellowed, which made JD wince. "It's now 4:37 and your sorry butt was supposed to be in the choir room seven minutes ago. So, instead of beginning our practice, I personally went searching for you because god forbid if I had sent out one of those incompetents you call a 'fellow student' to go looking for you. Since they all have pea-sized brains just like you, they would have probably become mesmerized by something shiny on the ground like a nickel or a bottle cap and the glee club would have never seen or heard from either of you ever again."
"Sorry Mr. Cox," JD mumbled again. "I was just-"
The Spanish teacher let out a sharp, ear piercing whistle.
"No excuses Lillian," he growled, still looking like he wanted to tear off his student's head. "Just come with me. Now."
JD nodded vigorously, before scooping up his phone and jogging after his glee club instructor, who had already stormed down half the hallway.
Damn, he's fast.
Once they reached the choir room, he was greeted by five angry faces. Elliot sprang on him first.
"Where have you been?" she demanded to know. "Just because you're the quarterback of the stupid football team and your girlfriend is the most popular girl in school, it doesn't give you the excuse to show up to Glee practice whenever you frickin' feel like it. Some people actually care about this club!"
JD instantly felt the shame and guilt descend upon him. Elliot was the one person in the glee club that he had actually liked so far. He wanted to kick himself for hurting her.
"Woah, easy there Barbie," Mr. Cox put his hands up to silence the feisty blonde. "Put those hackles down. As much as I would like to see someone else chew out Newbie, I've already beat you to quick one two punch that it takes to bring down a tiny gal like Annabelle. Trust me. It was too easy," JD sighed. Of course he had to call him a girl, "Anyway, this glee club has much bigger problems than this little soap opera right now."
"But I like soap operas," JD heard Laverne mutter, who was clearly disappointed that she wouldn't have more to gossip about.
"Okay you knuckleheads," the Spanish teacher began. "Listen up because here's the dealio. Bob Kelso, the devil himself, has brought it to my attention that we need more members in order to qualify for Regionals- twelve to be exact. So, I went ahead and cleared it with Principal Lurch for us to put on a performance during the school's pep-rally to recruit some more kids. Does that sound alright?"
No one replied, but JD felt panic set in. Now everybody in the school, including Drew Suffin, was going to find out that he was a member of the glee club. He was as good as doomed. Not only were the guys on the team going to give him a major ass kicking, but Kim was going to practically rip his head off. Being the lead male singer in Glee was going to make JD's popularity take a major dip, which essentially affected his girlfriend's popularity and also her chances of possessing the title of Homecoming Queen that she had coveted for so long. God, he was so screwed.
"Good, because I would have gone through with it anyway," Mr. Cox informed the club before flashing a grin.
Only the scary blonde haired girl- Was her name Denise? JD couldn't remember, but for some reason she reminded him of Jo from the Facts of Life- had the courage to scoff at the Spanish teacher.
"What are we singing?" Elliot asked.
JD was glad to hear that most of the fury had left the blonde's voice, though there was still a slight edge to it. He doubted Elliot was a girl who easily forgot when someone wronged her and the quarterback had a gut feeling that he wasn't out of the woods yet.
"Hound Dog, by Elvis Presley," Cox announced.
Laverne and Keith instantly let out loud groans and the glee club director glared fiercely at both of them. Only Keith had the common sense to shrink back in terror.
"What has your panties in a bunch?" he demanded to know.
"I love me some Elvis Mr. Cox; don't get me wrong," Laverne began, "but those devil children we call classmates are going to eat us alive if we sing that at the pep-rally."
"We need something that isn't old fashioned," Keith piped in.
"I took Nationals back in 93' with Hound Dog," Mr. Cox informed the club, completely ignoring Keith and Laverne's suggestions. "We're singing it peons and that's final."
No one protested this time, mainly out of fear, and JD couldn't but think,
I am so screwed.
Elliot knew her glee club was in trouble. Their rehearsal of 'Hound Dog' was with little exaggeration, awful. Everyone was furious that their glee club director wouldn't even consider Keith and Laverne's proposal to perform a song the student body could actually connect with and thus, they had hardly put any effort into the song. Cox quickly became pissed off at their lack of energy, which led him to reduce Nervous Guys to tears and then that caused their practice to be broken up twenty minutes early. Elliot normally would be angry herself for the loss of precious rehearsal time, but she thought that their glee club director deserved the raising of his blood pressure for being so pigheaded.
However, what concerned the rising star the most was her male lead. Not only had JD shown up late to practice today for no apparent reason at all, but the expression of devastation upon his face when Cox had announced they were singing at Sacred Heart's pep-rally was quite obvious. Elliot had a feeling that pressures coming from his wicked witch of a girlfriend and his football teammates were starting to get to him and she knew she had to come up with a plan to prevent him from quitting quickly, if she wanted to save her club.
"Who are you waiting for Stick?"
Elliot, who was currently sitting on a bench in front of Sacred Heart, twisted around in her seat to see that Jordan Sullivan was approaching her quickly. In the sophomore's opinion, the woman was in all senses of the word intimidating. Her guidance counselor had no-nonsense short brown hair, teeth that were as razor sharp as her personality and dark brown eyes that seemed stone cold like her soul.
Basically, every time Ms. Sullivan was around, Elliot survival instincts kicked in and she hid in the janitor's closet. However, this time the blonde had nowhere to hide and when her guidance counselor sat down right next to her, all she could do was wince.
"My maid Consuela," Elliot replied and was happy to hear that she hadn't stammered in front of the scary woman, for once. She ignored Ms. Sullivan's scoff and eye roll, and then proceeded to explain, "Mr. Cox ended up dismissing us early from Glee practice today and she's still ten minutes away."
When Ms. Sullivan didn't reply right away, Elliot was worried that she might have angered the woman in some way. Jordan Sullivan was scary normally, but she was downright frightening when she was pissed off. Basically, anyone who had the misfortune of being in her path when she was in that state had their self-esteem completely decimated.
The sophomore, who's self-esteem had already taken enough hits today because of the pre-lunch slushying and the chipmunk comparisons, was just about to slowly inch away from her guidance counselor to save herself, when the older woman opened her mouth and a tumble of words began to fall out all at once,
"Okay, this is going to come as a total shocker, but please, please, please don't read too much into it. I have a request for some information from you and before you brighten up and starting singing Disney tunes about how I finally care about your pitiful life, I want you to know that I literally nothing you. Nothing you do or say is interesting to me Blondie and it never will be," Ms. Sullivan informed her.
Elliot nodded and didn't even care about the insults. She was just happy that her guidance counselor wasn't going to rip her a part.
Thank frickin god, she thought with a sigh of relief.
"And furthermore, I want you to know that the only reason I approached you in the first place is that I'm currently bored out of my mind loitering around this dump of a school. You see, last night I had crazy sex with my mother's pool boy, Julio, in the backseat of my car," Elliot jaw dropped at this unabashed admittance by her own guidance counselor, who just continued to plow right on without any signs of restraint, "and he insisted on leaving the radio on the entire time in order to listen to 'Eye of the Tiger' on repeat- apparently it makes him feel more sexually empowered blah, blah, blah- but yeah long story short, we were doin' the nasty for so long that my car battery died and I've been waiting two freakin' hours for Julio to drive his sorry ass over here to jumpstart my car," Ms. Sullivan let out a sigh of frustration, "The boy is basically dead to me now for making me spend even more time in this hellhole than I'm required to. Like seriously, I have a hot date tonight and I won't even have enough time to get that French manicure I wanted," Elliot's guidance counselor took a deep breath and to her relief finally got to the point, "So yeah, Stick that's why I'm bored enough to ask you this- why did Per-Per kick you brats out early today? I want the whole scoop and please stop gaping at me before I end you."
Elliot's jaw immediately snapped back up and she tore her gaze away from Ms. Sullivan for the sake of her own self preservation.
"Well," the teenager began to explain in a shaky voice that picked up speed and clarity as she went on, "it all started when Mr. Cox decided that the glee club was going to sing 'Hound Dog' by Elvis Presley at the pep-rally on Friday in order to attract some new members. I myself approved of the song- it's a classic after all- but there were some… protestations about the song choice by some of the other glee clubbers. Mr. Cox of course ignored them all. Everyone knows that he never gives a frick about anyone else. So anyway, we continued on from there and practiced for our performance for Friday, but unfortunately there wasn't much effort put in," Elliot sighed, "Basically after Mr. Cox caught on that everyone- but me of course- were slacking, he began ranting at all of us. Denise," Elliot paused and asked, "You do you know Denise Mahoney, right?"
"No and even if I did, why would you think I cared?" Ms. Sullivan asked frankly, reminding Elliot of her callous nature. This had caused the teenager to shrug. The guidance counselor made a good point, "Continue on Stick," she added as an order.
"Anyway, Denise attempted to stand up for us since she is the manliest and bravest of the group, but it didn't really work," Elliot told Ms. Sullivan, who had scoffed at her last words "Honestly, I have never seen Mr. Cox that furious before. I mean he goes on and on with those ridiculously long speeches, but today he even flipped over a desk and he's never done that before! Luckily for us, Mr. Cox finally called it quits when Nervous Guy started tearing up and he had to use his inhaler."
To Elliot's astonishment, the guidance counselor actually grinned, as if she was taking some kind of sick pleasure from Mr. Cox's anger or maybe Doug's pain. Either way, Elliot thought it was very disturbing.
"Do you want to sing Hound Dog?" Ms. Sullivan asked suddenly, taking the teenager by surprise. Her guidance counselor wasn't really big on asking personal questions.
"At first I did, but now I'm not so sure," Elliot admitted. "Elvis is a classic, but my fellow glee clubbers have brought it to my attention that we'll be bigger laughing stocks at Sacred Heart than we already are if we sing that song. As much as it pains me, teenagers of this era aren't in touch with musical icons such as Elvis anymore. The glee club needs to perform a song that the student body can relate to."
Her guidance counselor was quiet, before asking,
"And there's no chance that Mr. Cox is changing his mind?"
Elliot shook her head.
"If you saw him today Ms. Sullivan, you would know there is no way in hell he's switching songs,"
The older woman grinned and announced, "Well, we can't let Per get away with this Stick, now can we?" Elliot gulped. She didn't like that devilish glint in her guidance counselor's eyes, "What you need to do is stage a coup,"
"A what?" Elliot asked, bewildered.
"Go behind Mr. Cox's back and rehearse another song to perform at the pep-rally," Ms. Sullivan explained to her in simpler terms.
"The pep-rally is only a few days away. We'll never be able to agree on a song by then Ms. Sullivan," Elliot babbled in a panic. Her voice started rising several octaves as she went on, "And how are we supposed to know what everyone in school really wants us to sing about? There are so many of them and they all belong to different types of cliques. They can't all agree on one thing. It will never work!"
"Blondie, if there is one thing I've learned in my career as a guidance counselor, it is that all teenagers are crazy about sex," Ms. Sullivan smirked, as Elliot turned bright red. Talking about sex always made her feel uncomfortable. "I'm sure there is some stupid pop song on the radio that deals with that issue. Just take it from there,"
"But-" Elliot began, when suddenly a rusty looking pickup truck pulled up.
"Julio," Ms. Sullivan barked, completely ignoring her student. She sprang up from her seat on the bench to confront the pool boy, "It took you long enough!"
"I'm really sorry Ms. Sullivan-" Julio tried to say, but the guidance counselor cut him off.
"You listen here; when Jordan says come, you bet your sweet ass you better come running. You know what this means Julio? This means no sex tonight," she growled at him as she wrenched open his truck door. A groan of disappointment coming from Julio could be heard as Ms. Sullivan started to climb inside the vehicle. She was in halfway, before she finally remembered that Elliot was still sitting there and turned around to tell her, "You better take my advice Stick. You know I don't deal it out too often,"
Elliot nodded. She knew a threat when she heard one and said, "Yes Ms. Sullivan,"
"Good little girl," she replied in a condescending tone, before slamming the pickup door behind her.
Shouts coming from the pickup truck could be heard, as they sped away, probably towards the teacher's lot to jumpstart Ms. Sullivan's car. Elliot sighed once Julio and her guidance counselor were out of sight. If she really was going to stage this coup behind Mr. Cox's back, Elliot knew that she had a whole lot of work cut out for her.
During lunch, Elliot had sent out a mass text requesting that the glee club hold a, 'Mr. Cox free secret meeting in the gym'. She gave no reason on why they were assembling without their director, but her crypticness was enough to make JD lie to his girlfriend and sneak off to join his fellow club members.
"A-are you sure we should be doing this?" Nervous Guy stuttered and JD watched him look around the gym anxiously as if Mr. Cox was going to burst in suddenly…
Mr. Cox crashed through the windows of the gym dressed identically to Sylvester Stallone from the 'Rambo' movies.
"Killing you punk kids will be as easy as breathing," the Spanish teacher growled, before letting out a battle cry and charging towards the glee clubbers.
"It would be a massacre," JD muttered darkly, as he emerged from his fantasy.
"Okay people," Elliot chirped, as she swept into the gym. Her navy blue argyle mini skirt blew lightly behind her and JD couldn't help, but gape at her long, thin legs. Damn for such a crazy chick, she sure is hot, he thought wistfully, "Sorry I'm late, but I ran into 'The Todd' on the way here," all of the girls in the room made sounds of disgust. 'The Todd', who was the tight end on the football team, was better known as Sacred Heart's sexual deviant. The guy had a million and one sexual innuendos up his sleeves and he always had the ability to pop up at the right time in someone else's conversation to make a lewd joke. The guy had a gift, but it didn't take away from that fact that he was annoying as hell, "As you know, we all have issues about the song choice for the pep-rally."
A murmur of agreement swept through the gathered glee clubbers.
"Well, I purpose a little glee club coup d'etat behind Mr. Cox's back," Elliot announced. "We are already huge losers, but performing 'Hound Dog' will be like nails in a coffin. I suggest we give the student body what they really want."
"Which would be what dye job?" Denise-Jo asked with her usual scowl.
"Intercourse of course," Elliot replied brightly.
JD felt his eyes widen and he heard Laverne gasp.
"What are you implying Marshmallow?" the dark skinned girl asked and surveyed the blonde over her glasses, "Because the only man I plan to shack up with before marriage is Jesus,"
JD watched with great amusement as Elliot turned bright red and began to splutter,
"I-I didn't mean it that way," she quickly amended. "I meant that we should sing about intercourse, not have it with the student body."
"You mean sing about sex, right?" Jo called out with a smirk.
"Denise!" Elliot screeched. JD could tell the topic clearly made the girl uncomfortable.
The scary blonde haired girl just rolled her eyes.
"What song are we going perform then?" Keith piped in.
"Good question Keith," Elliot said with a smile in the blonde haired boy's direction. JD found himself glaring. Stupid Keith and his stupid questions, he thought venomously. "Even though I personally am not one for hip-hop music, I decided that we should go with the song, 'Hot in Here' by the artist Nelly. Anyone opposed?"
There was silence amongst the glee clubbers, mainly out of shock. JD personally couldn't believe that Elliot not only had the stones to go behind Mr. Cox's back (the man was pretty damn frightening), but to also perform a song in front of the entire school that was hardly appropriate. For some reason it made her even more attractive to him.
"I'm not opposed," JD announced, finally breaking the silence. He hoped that it would help him get on the blonde's good side.
"Thanks JD," Elliot said with a wide grin in his direction that made him suddenly feel very warm, "What about everyone else?"
There were some murmurs, mainly between Keith and Laverne, but eventually one by one everyone in the club agreed to sing 'Hot in Here'.
"Excellent," Elliot beamed at all of them, "Now, let's work on choreography and divvy up who is singing which verses."
The next half hour, they worked on their performance for the pep-rally. To his horror, JD received the second longest verse that was conveniently located in the beginning of the song. To make things worse, it was a complete rap. JD had never rapped in his entire life and he had a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was going to make a fool of himself. Maybe he should ask his Chocolate Bear for some help…
"Okay, we'll meet here the same time tomorrow," Elliot told them, once the bell rang for the end of the lunch period. "Make sure you practice as much as you can at home, since we're going to have limited rehearsal time. Everyone got that?"
JD and the rest of the glee clubbers had to promise the crazy blonde repeatedly that they would obey her commands, before she finally allowed them to leave. JD was headed for the gym doors when Elliot's shouts made him stop in his tracks
"Hey JD! Wait up!"
The quarterback continued to pause and waited for the blonde to scurry over to him,
"Yeah Elliot?"
"I know you don't have football today," she told him straight-out. It was true. Coach Petey had a dentist appointment he couldn't get out of, so he had to cancel, "Do you want to practice together after school? I can help you with your rap."
"Really?" the quarterback asked, brightening up instantly.
JD had originally made plans to hang out with Turk before Glee. They hadn't played hide the saltine in a while and they didn't want to get rusty, but JD was sure that his Chocolate Bear would understand that he needed some serious assistance with tapping into his inner blackness before the pep-rally. Of course, Elliot was probably the wrong person to help him achieve that, but at least he would get to spend some alone time with her.
It's a good thing Kim isn't a mind reader like that vampire from Twilight with the dynamite hair, JD thought, as an image of his girlfriend of two months crept into the back of his mind. I would be as good as dead, if she ever found out about my little crush on Elliot.
"Yeah, of course," the blonde said with a small smile, "Just meet me in the auditorium after ninth period,"
JD returned the smile, "Thanks Elliot," he told her sincerely and as soon as her back was turned, he broke out into a quick victory dance.
Another one in the win column for the J-Dawg.
Elliot smoothed down the front of her blouse and tapped her foot repeatedly against the stage's hard wooden floor.
I'm nervous, she thought, as she gnawed on her bottom lip, There, I finally admitted it!
He's just a boy, the rational a part of her mind reminded her.
But he isn't just any boy. He's smart and sensitive and funny, Elliot rambled on inside her head, and he's so frickin cute!
"Hey Elliot, sorry I'm late," JD walked into the auditorium with a smile that seemed just reserved for her.
And for that whore girlfriend of his, Elliot added sourly in her head.
"Don't worry about it," she reassured him and waited for him to climb up on stage. "Do you want to get started?"
"Sure, sounds good to me,"
They spent the next forty minutes rehearsing for their performance on Friday. Even though, Elliot didn't know the first thing about rap, she tried her best to correct JD in whatever she believed sounded awry. They even practiced some choreography together and Elliot was impressed by the quarterback's dancing abilities. For such an awkwardly lanky person, JD actually moved surprisingly well. She even had the guts to admit this to him. JD laughed and then reminded her,
"My best friend is black. Of course, a brotha' can move."
Elliot rolled her eyes and then they went through 'Hot in Here' once more, before the blonde decided it was finally time to take a break.
Her gaze never left the quarterback, as he gulped down a bottle of water while wiping off the sweat that had formed on his brow. JD then sat down at the edge of stage and motioned for Elliot to come join him. The blonde blew her bangs out of her face and smoothed out her blouse once more before taking a seat mere inches away from her new male lead. She prayed that she didn't look as gross as she felt at the moment. She was still warm from all the dancing they had done and her mouth was bone dry.
"Thanks again for helping me out with the song Elliot," JD told her in a sincere tone. "People around here might say you're borderline insane, but you're actually one of the nicest people I've ever met at Sacred Heart."
"Thanks," she said, hiding her blush, "You're not too bad yourself. Like originally when you first showed up to Glee practice, I thought you'd be this ego centered jock, but you're actually a huge geek. I think it's great."
JD chuckled, "Thanks for the compliment… I think."
Elliot's eyes widened, as she suddenly realized her own blunder. She was such a frickin idiot!
"No, no, no that's not what I meant," she began to babble. "When I said you were a huge geek, I really meant that you're really sweet JD. I swear!"
"Elliot calm down," the quarterback told the blonde, "I get it. I don't really fit the jock profile. I already figured that out when my ability to recite episodes of 'Gilmore Girls' word for word was actually better than my skills at throwing a football."
Elliot giggled and before she could stop herself, these words were tumbling out of her mouth,
"Kiss me,"
To the blonde's surprise, JD didn't even hesitate to obey her command. He grabbed the sides of her face with firm fingers that were surprisingly gentle and then pressed his mouth to hers. JD's lips were abnormally soft for a boys, which Elliot wasn't sure if that should worry her or not. However, after another ten seconds, all her thoughts flew out the window because those soft lips were doing wonderful things…
"I have to go," JD suddenly muttered, breaking the kiss.
"What?" Elliot cried, panicked. "Did I do something wrong?"
JD shook his head repeatedly and the blonde noticed that the boy's face was bright red, "Of course not," he told her. "You were perfect Elliot, but I have a girlfriend and I really shouldn't be with you like this."
Before she could even protest, the quarterback had already risen from his spot next to her and was making a quick getaway by practically jogging out of the auditorium. The door slammed behind him and before Elliot could even blink, she was all alone.
Elliot sat there, shell shocked for a moment that seemed like hours, before coming out of her daze and bursting out in a high pitched voice that was laced with her frustration,
"Frick, frick, frick, frick, frick, frickity, frick, frick, frick!"
Kimberly Anne Briggs, who was better known as Kim, did three successful back-flips in a row, before grabbing her toes and rotating four times in the air. Her landing of course was flawless- on her feet and barely wobbling. The crowd broke out in applause and the head cheerleader flashed them all a winning smile, before she joined the rest of her Cheerios for the final part of their routine.
After Kim was hoisted up by two male and two female Cheerios, who then became her base, she then performed an advanced move called the Scorpion, where a person grabs one of their feet and bends that leg upward behind the body until the toes are close to the back of the head. It was painful, but it was a kick ass move that Kim had learned at cheer camp over the summer and she had a good feeling that it would help Sacred Heart win another national title. The head cheerleader found herself holding that pose for five long seconds, before the music finally ended.
Kim let out a sigh of relief, as she released her foot from behind her head and was slowly lowered by her fellow Cheerios onto the gym floor. She waved elatedly to the crowd at the pep-rally with a big grin on her face, before skipping off the floor with the rest of her Cheerios.
Robert Kelso greeted them at the edge of the gym with a scowl on his face.
"Passable," he grunted at them, before taking a big bite out of a bran muffin. Kim watched while wrinkling her nose, as the crumbs fell onto one of his hideous Hawaiian shirts that he always insisted upon wearing. The head cheerleader felt the anger flare up in her chest. How dare that fat, do nothing criticize them on a performance that could easily make them place at Nationals?
"Come on Kim," her fellow Cheerio, Carla Espinosa, must have sensed her anger because she tugged lightly at her arm, before the head cheerleader could say something that she was going to regret later.
Once they were out of Kelso's earshot, Kim began to complain about their cheerleading coach to her two closest friends at Sacred Heart Academy, Carla and Lucy Bennett. Both girls listened with sympathetic ears and Lucy occasionally threw in one of her weird horse metaphors that she was so weirdly obsessed with.
"Baby!" a familiar voice shouted and all three cheerleaders looked up at Christopher Turk, who was motioning for them, but specifically Carla, to come join him in the stands.
Carla sighed and rolled her eyes, but she made her way towards her boyfriend nonetheless and the two blonde cheerleaders followed her.
"Hey Turk, how you livin'?" Kim greeted the football team's running back with a grin. Since she and JD started dating, they had become fairly close. Kim not only found Turk to be hysterical, but they had also bonded over their love of Neil Diamond. The man was a genius after all.
"I'm living large kid," Turk exchanged high fives, before turning to his girlfriend, "Hello my Latina princess," Turk purred and kissed Carla full on the lips. "You were great out there and absolutely smoking as usual."
"Thank you my Black prince," her fellow cheerleader kissed her boyfriend on the cheek and then sat down next to him. Kim followed suit with Lucy, but not before making a fake gagging sound towards the couple. Carla turned to glare at her, but Turk just shot her a look of amusement, "Is Bambi going to be performing soon?" her Latina friend asked, choosing not to pick a fight with Kim.
The head cheerleader perked up at the mentioning of her boyfriend's ridiculous nickname that Carla insisted on dubbing upon him. What was even worse was the fact that JD actually put up with it. What sixteen year old boy wanted to be called a Disney character?
"Yeah, they're just setting up the stage now," Turk replied. "He's really nervous about Suffin's reaction."
"Well, he should be," Kim growled. Her anger suddenly sparked at the mentioning of her boyfriend's involvement with the glee club. She was the kind of person who cared a lot about what people thought about her. Kim was always careful not to rub anyone the wrong way and by joining Glee, her own boyfriend had done exactly that, "He's going to make an idiot out of both of us."
"Cut my man a break," Turk told the head cheerleader sternly. He always jumped to his best friend's defense. "You know he isn't doing this willingly. That asshole Cox is forcing Nilla bear to be in that club."
Kim crossed her arms over chest and stared sulkily at the floor. She knew Turk was right, but still it was so unfair to her!
Lucy patted her on the arm as a sympathetic gesture. The other blonde then opened her mouth to probably make some ridiculous comment about how Kim's current predicament somehow tied in with horses, but the Spanish teacher, Mr. Cox, had suddenly spoke into the microphone and the entire gym fell into silence.
"Listen up children," Mr. Cox barked. "The glee club is about to perform a song," a few snickers echoed throughout the gym and Kim watched the Spanish teacher's eyes narrow, as if he was closing in on his prey, "and I swear if any of you wise guys decides that it would be a good idea to make a stupid comment about it, you'll wish your mommies had homeschooled you by the time I get done with you. Everyone got that?" Dead silence reigned over the gym, before the Spanish teacher grinned and said, "Fantastic,"
The gym went dark, before a spotlight shined directly on center court. There stood Kim's boyfriend, that blonde freak (Elliot Reid), the gay kid, Nervous Guy, the really- frightening-girl-who-pegged- that-volleyball-in-her-face-during-their-freshmen-year and a heavyset black girl that Kim knew Carla talked to every now and then. Whispers immediately broke out and the head cheerleader had a gut feeling that they were all about the shocking revelation that JD was a member of the club.
Before Kim could whisper to Lucy how embarrassing this was for her. The scary blonde haired girl started singing,
Hot in...
So hot in here...
So hot in...
JD cut in next and Kim was so astonished about how well her boyfriends sang that her jaw actually dropped.
I was like, good gracious ass bodacious
Flirtatious, tryin to show faces
Lookin for the right time to shoot my steam (you know)
Lookin for the right time to flash them G's
Then um I'm leavin, please believin
Me and the rest of my heathens
Check it, got it locked at the top of the four seasons
Penthouse, roof top, birds I feedin
No deceivin, nothin up my sleeve, no teasin
I need you to get up up on the dance floor
Give that man what he askin for
Cuz I feel like bustin loose and I feel like touchin you
And can't nobody stop the juice so baby tell me what's the use
"That's my boy!" Turk whispered excitedly to the three cheerleaders, while pointing to his best friend. "Who knew that JD was actually capable of breaking it down like a brotha?"
The skank, Elliot Reid, sang the chorus next and Kim swore that she heard a few boys let out sighs of longing. However, what really made her blood boil was how the ditzy blonde was hanging all over her boyfriend in their dance routine. Didn't that whore ever hear of a little thing called personal space?
I said
It's gettin hot in here (so hot)
So take off all your clothes
I am gettin so hot, I wanna take my clothes off
It's gettin hot in here (so hot)
So take off all your clothes
I am gettin so hot, I wanna take my clothes off
To everyone in the gym's surprise, Nervous Guy broke out in a long rap and the frequently stuttering boy was for the first time, clear as a bell. His confidence on stage was quite obvious, as he danced around and sang simultaneously. It didn't even seem as if the kid was covered in his usual layer of sweat.
Why you at the bar if you aint poppin the bottles?
What good is all the fame if you aint screwin the models?
I see you drivin, sports car, aint hittin the throttle
And I be down, and do a hundred, top down and goggles
Get off the freeway, exit 106 and parked it
Ash tray, flip gate, time to spark it
Gucci collar for dollar, got out and walked it
I spit game cuz baby I can't talk it
Warm, sweatin it's hot up in this joint
VOKAL tank top, on at this point
You're with a winner so baby you can't lose
I got secrets can't leave Cancun
So take it off like your home alone
You know dance in front your mirror while you're on the phone
Checkin your reflection and tellin your best friend,
Carla's friend, Laverne, then cried out,
Like "girl I think my butt gettin big"
Applause erupted and to Kim's horror, people in the stands began singing along with the female members of the glee club,
I said
It's gettin hot in here (so hot)
So take off all your clothes
I am gettin so hot, I wanna take my clothes off
It's gettin hot in here (so hot)
So take off all your clothes
I am gettin so hot, I wanna take my clothes off
They hang all out
Mix a little bit a ah, ah
With a little bit a ah, ah
They just fall out
Give a little bit a ah, ah
With a little bit a ah, ah
Hang all out
With a little bit a ah, ah
And a sprinkle a that ah, ah
They just fall out
I like it when ya ah, ah
Baby make it ah, ah
The gay kid- was his name Keith?- started rapping next and his voice was shockingly deep,
Stop pacing, time wastin
I gotta a friend with a fo' in the basement
The scary blonde haired girl joined in and the two started exchanging a few verses of the song,
What?
I'm just kiddin like Jason
Oh?
Unless you gon' do it
Extra, extra eh, spread the news
Nelly took a trip from the Lunner to Neptune
Came back with somethin thicker than fittin in sasoons
Say she likes to think about cuttin in restrooms
The performance ended with one last repeating of the song's chorus. It was dead silent in the gym for a moment and Kim watched JD look around, clearly nervous about how he had been received by the students of Sacred Heart. However, all of the sudden, thunderous applause broke and it literally shook the gym. People were on their feet screaming and whistling and Kim couldn't help, but fall into a state of shock. This wasn't supposed to happen. They should be booing…
It seemed that the straw haired tramp had snapped out of her own astonishment because now she had thrown her arms around Kim's boyfriend in her excitement and hugged him tightly. JD returned the hug just as enthusiastically, causing the head cheerleader's fists to clench and her teeth to grind together.
Oh, this so wasn't going to fly.
Perry Cox was pissed off.
He had just spent the last half hour getting berated by the unimaginable tag team of Bob Kelso and Glenn Matthews. Barbie had gone behind his back, along with the rest of the glee club, and they had performed a song that was barely appropriate in a high school setting. Consequences were severe and the Spanish teacher had to force himself to actually apologize to the Janitor. Perry had never felt so low in his life and to make matters worse his arch-nemesis was there to witness it.
That blonde demon was as good as dead meat.
The Spanish teacher was walking back to his classroom to vent in private and possibly throw some of his possessions around, when a voice made him stop dead in his tracks,
"Mr. Cox!"
"What do you want Briggs?" he snapped back at the head cheerleader, who was flanked by her two cronies, Carla Espinosa and Lucy Bennett.
"We want to try out for Glee," the blonde informed him.
Perry Cox swiped at his nose, folded his arms and replied in a tone of disbelief, "Oh really?"
Briggs nodded, "Are you going to let us?"
The Spanish teacher sighed wearily, "I guess I have no choice in the matter, do I?"
"No, you don't," Carla Espinosa cut in, causing Perry to glare at the girl.
"Fine, follow me," Cox said, reluctantly relenting to their demands. He then led the three cheerleaders to the choir room. They put down their bags and then set up all together in the center of the room.
"You're trying out all at once?" the glee club director asked, surprised.
"Is that a problem?" Briggs countered with her hands on her hips, basically begging him to challenge her.
Perry shook his head. He didn't have the energy to argue right now. The Spanish teacher just wanted more than anything to get out of this hellhole and the faster these bimbos sang; the quicker he'd be able to get home to his pregnant wife.
"We're going to be singing 'Before He Cheats' by Carrie Underwood," the head cheerleader announced.
"Fine, lay it on me sweet cheeks," Perry grunted and then, the girls began to sing.
To the glee club director's surprise, the three cheerleaders were actually halfway decent. Kim and Carla were the stand outs with their rich voices, but Perry would grudgingly admit that even the horse-girl, Lucy Bennett, had some talent She was probably the best dancer Sacred Heart had and she would actually be - dare he even admit it?- an asset to the glee club.
"Practice is on Monday at 4:30," Mr. Cox told the girls gruffly, when they were finally finished singing. "Don't be late,"
The three cheerleaders didn't say a word to him. Instead, they exchanged smiles, before strolling out of the room.
Perry sighed, This better not comeback to bite me on the ass.
A/N: Chapter 2 is in the bag. Yes, I realize it is really really late and I apologize. Unfortunately, I've been experiencing computer trouble and I only got my laptop back last week after a long couple of weeks at HP. So, I hope this satisfies everyone and I would like to thank all my reviewers from the first chapter. As always, I appreciate any forms of feedback.
