(I don't own Hair, Rent, or crazythingsparentstext .com, that being said do not sue me you won't get anything and also this sometimes takes place before cell phones so it's going to happen in voice or on the answering machines, yeah you have been warned!)

(This takes place in present time. Roger is 43, Jeanie and Berger are 61)

Roger was sitting in the loft playing with his guitar as usual when his mother called to talk to him about something totally unimportant.

"SSSPPPEEEAAAKKK!"

"Rog, it's Mom pick up."

"Hi Mom, what's up?"

"Nothing just thought I would call and say hi and see how you were."

"I'm good just hanging I worked earlier so now my ass is sitting on the couch. What are you doing all I hear is rattling in the background."

"I'm using that new shake weight thing Berger got me for Christmas, it feels like I'm jerking off an elephant."

"What? Do you do that often?" Asked Roger with a laugh.

"No, the last person I jerked off was comatose."

"Aww, jeeze Mom way too much information."

"Oh stop it was a patient, I haven't jerked Berger off in years."

"MOM! I don't want to hear this."

"I did not raise you as a prude." Said Jeanie with a laugh.

"No, but you guys don't usually tell me about your sex lives."

"Hey! It's because of my active sex life you are on this planet."

"No I'm on this planet cause you tripped one night and let some random guy screw you." Said Roger with a laugh.

"He wasn't random. I knew him." Said Jeanie.

"Knowing his aura doesn't count Mom, you knew him for 20 minutes."

"How do you know, you weren't there."

"I think his sperm and your egg beg to differ."

"How did this go from the shake weight making noise to my sex life?"

"One of life's mysteries."