Chapter 2: Confrontations

Severus entered the old wooden building without hindrance. So Lupin, if in fact he proved to be here, had not warded the entrance so that no one would find him. Severus stepped further into the room and caught sight of the werewolf sitting on the floor against the far wall. His knees were bent and he had his head resting on his folded arms.

Remus had to know that Severus was there, yet he gave no sign that he was aware that Severus was standing only a few yards in front of him. He still did nothing when Severus approached him and crouched down beside him.

"Remus . . ."

Slowly, as if it were a great effort, Remus raised his gaze to Severus's. His green eyes were red-rimmed.

At first he did not say a single word, he only stared, mute, at Severus's face. When he did speak, his voice was so low that his words were just barely audible.

"You must think me the worst kind of coward."

"No, I don't." Severus told him.

Remus gave him a skeptical look. Severus let out a long weary sigh and settled into a more comfortable position.

"The only question I want you to answer is why didn't you tell her?"

"I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth. And I was holding out hope that things would turn out differently, that I'd somehow be able to overcome it all and everything would be fine."

"Did she have any idea that there was a chance it would come to this?" Severus asked.

"No, I don't think she did."

There was a stretch of several seconds' silence between the two men.

"Severus, something happened. Something that made me realise beyond any doubt that I could not go through with the marriage."

"What happened?" Severus asked softly.

Remus did not immediately answer. It got to the point where Severus began to think that he wasn't going to be given any details and then Remus spoke again.

"If she asks what I tell you, please don't say anything." Remus said to Severus, his eyes imploring him to honor his request.

"I shan't betray your confidence, Remus. Right now, I'm more concerned about what's going on with you."

Had it been any other situation, Remus might have laughed at such a sincere display of caring from a man like Severus Snape. As it was, Remus could scarcely believe that Severus was actually behaving like a human being.

Why wasn't Severus castigating him for what he did to Nymphadora?

It was, after all, his fault that Nymphadora had to suffer the embarrassment of standing in front of everyone like a fool at the wedding.

When Remus spoke, his words were hardly more than a whisper.

"The one time Nymphadora and I made love, I saw images of Bellatrix vividly in my mind. I thought of Nymphadora, trying to make those images leave my consciousness. But no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't banish all the thoughts of Bellatrix from my mind. They only got worse. Severus, . . . for a second I actually thought she was Bellatrix. And in that moment I was overwhelmed with the urge to strangle her. I . . . I managed to come to my senses before I harmed her, but . . . I . . . I could have killed her Severus."

Severus exhaled sharply.

"I'm sorry, Remus."

Remus couldn't speak.

"You know you owe Nymphadora an explanation."

Remus looked at Severus with a horrified expression.

"No. I can't bear to bring her that kind of pain."

"Then, what precisely, are you planning to say to her?" Severus asked, with a tinge of his usual acerbic venom.

"Something other than the truth."

Severus gave Remus an appalled look.

"You're actually telling me that you would lie to her about something as great as this?"

Remus's eyes glittered with emotion.

"And what would you do Severus if you and Hermione were in the same situation?"

Severus didn't speak. Indeed he was surprised that Remus had the gall to lash out at him. And this, after Severus had given him the benefit of the doubt.

"I wouldn't lie to her," Severus said evenly.

Remus let out a derisive half laugh.

"I didn't ask your opinion on what I should do."

"No, you didn't. But I offered it anyway because I actually thought you would care what I think. My mistake."

"I'll decide what to tell Nymphadora, Severus."

"She will know if you are lying to her."

Remus looked away from Severus's gaze.

"Please, leave me alone," Remus said, in a low, plaintive tone.

Wordlessly, Severus stood up.

"I'll expect to see you in my office on Tuesday to pick up your wolfsbane."

Remus nodded in reply.

Severus left and was about to mentally call Hermione to see if she was still at the park where the wedding was to be held. However, Hermione reached his mind first.

Nymphadora is staying with the Weasleys tonight. Molly doesn't want her being alone. I've been invited also, and well, I can hardly say no.

Severus sighed heavily.

I found Remus. I suppose I'll tell you everything tomorrow, in person.

Alright. I'll try to escape by mid-afternoon.

Take your time.

Severus, I overheard Lily talking to Molly and she plans on coming to see you tonight. You might be able to avoid her, but I have a feeling she would just wait until you returned to Hogwarts.

Thanks for the warning.

What are you going to do?

I suppose I'll have to see her, won't I? Don't be nervous, after facing Voldemort day after day for as long as I have, facing Lily will be ridiculously easy in comparison.

I know of I've said this before, but I need to reiterate that I don't trust that woman at all. Be careful.

I will.

Lily appeared at Hogwarts a little after dark. Seated at his desk, reading the latest
Advanced Potions Journal, Severus greeted her with the same frigidity reserved for his least favorite students. He hardly even glanced up from the page he was looking at.

When it was obvious that he wouldn't be giving her his undivided attention, Lily's expression became irritated.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" she demanded, when Severus deliberately made no move to respond to her greeting.

The potions master arched a brow at her outburst.

"Had I desired your company, I would have asked for it," Severus told her. He did not elaborate. The rest of the explanation was self-evident.

He didn't want anything to do with her.

Severus ignored Lily and went back to reading his journal.

Shocked momentarily beyond words, Harry's mother stared at him.

"I waited for you to come see me, Severus," Lily said in a genuinely hurt tone.

Severus turned a page.

"If you think that you and I can now be happily reunited, I'm afraid you're very much mistaken."

Lily did not immediately respond.

"What happened to the Severus I used to know and love?"

This time, Severus did meet her gaze.

"We had feelings for each other because, and only because of Albus's spell. Nothing would have transpired between us had he not forced us together. Everything we shared was a manufactured consequence of the involuntary soul bond."

"No, you can't really believe that's true."

"I assure you, that is exactly how I see it," Severus said in a cool voice.

Lily's eyes widened in disappointed surprise.

"No. There's something you're not telling me. Sixteen years may have passed since last we saw each other, but you forget that I once knew you as well as I know myself. You're not the type of man to push me away for no reason. And no matter what you say, that load of absolute rot you just told me is no excuse for refusing to even give me a chance."

There was a triumphant spark in Lily's eyes and Severus went still.

"At the instant of your death our soul bond was severed. I know this isn't what you wish to hear, but without it I have no feelings for you. There's nothing more to say."

"Tell me one thing and then I'll leave," Lily told him. "Are you sexually involved with someone else?"

"Why is that any of your concern?" Severus asked.

"After everything that's happened, I think I deserve to know."

In that single moment, Severus fleetingly considered actually telling Lily the truth. The look on her face at Severus's prolonged silence told him that she took his lack of a response as an affirmation.

"Who is it?" she asked calmly. "Do I know them?"
Merlin help him but Severus was now boxed into a very tight corner. The conversation wasn't going as he had expected it would.

There wasn't much he could say or do that wouldn't further arouse Lily's suspicions. Even if he stayed silent, Lily would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was purposely hiding the identity of his lover from her.

If he told her the truth, he would be giving her the power to permanently ruin his and Hermione's reputations. He would have liked to think that she would keep the information a secret, but he knew better than to trust her. He doubted she had any respect for Hermione and Lily would only use the information as a tool to force him to come back to her.

For he would do anything to spare Hermione the public humiliation of having their relationship exposed.

Lily considered him with a scrutinizing gaze.

"You aren't sleeping with Remus, are you?" she asked at length.

Was it better to let her think that was true than to allow her to suspect the truth?

Suddenly, a knock at the door roused Severus from his frantic thoughts.

Lily cursed the visitor's timing under her breath.

"E-enter!" Severus called, uncharacteristically discomfited. His voice sounded rather tight and choked.

He could hardly believe that Lily had gotten to him so easily.

He didn't care who was at the door, as long as their presence could make Lily leave. Their conversation couldn't go any further.

The door opened and Sheniveer poked his head into the room.

"Oh, my apologies, you have company," he said politely. He made a move to close the door, when Severus immediately told him to stop.

"I do believe that Mrs. Potter was just on her way out," Severus told the elf. "Do come in."

Lily's silent look of outrage did nothing to improve the situation.

"We will continue this conversation later."

She quickly left the room before Severus could say anything else.

Lily closed the door behind her and Severus immediately fixed his attention to the elf. He didn't particularly want to think about what had happened.

"Can I help you?" Severus inquired, fighting to retain his usual unshakable composure.

Sheniveer smiled thinly.

"Could I trouble you for some coffee?"

"Of course. It's in the top drawer of that cabinet along the wall."

"Thank you. You have my deepest gratitude. Minerva insisted that I read the entire Hogwarts Manual of Rule and Regulations and I swear it's over 10,000 pages long. I fear that without a sufficient amount of caffeine I won't be able to summon the energy to get through it before the start of term. Tea hardly suffices. Minerva told me you had coffee."

Severus stared at him. Had the man come and asked for five thousand pounds under the circumstances, Severus hardly would have refused. He was so inordinately glad that Sheniveer had come when he did that that he would have given the elf damn near anything.

The white haired elf rummaged through the different bags of coffee for perhaps half a minute and then made a selection.

He turned back to Severus with a warm smile, one might say even a knowing smile, and gestured at the bag in his left hand.

"That's all then. I'll be on my way,"

He left the room leaving a rather dumbfounded Severus in his wake. What, precisely, did Sheniveer know? His timing had been beyond convenient. It was indeed a surprising coincidence that Sheniveer had decided to go in search of coffee at the exact moment Lily had been questioning him.

Was it merely a coincidence?

The conversation with Lily had gone as badly as possible. He hated to think about what he would say the next time he saw Harry's mother.

He would think of something that would placate the woman. At present, he hadn't the least notion of what he would tell her.

But at least now, he had some time.