1 June, 2001
"Harry. Harry, wake up."
The soft voice in his ear was accompanied by a gentle shake of his shoulder. Harry lifted his head from the edge of Draco's bed and looked up at Morag with bleary eyes.
"Did I fall asleep?" he asked.
"Yes, you did," she said with a kind smile.
It wasn't the first time he'd sat so long by Draco's bedside that he'd drifted off. Harry appreciated the fact that Morag didn't chase him off precisely at the end of official visiting hours. He wasn't sure if it was because he was the Boy Who Lived, or if she just remembered him fondly from their school days. Either way, he was glad that Draco's healer was someone who understood how much Harry needed to be here as often as he could.
"What time is it?" he asked, as he tried to stifle a yawn.
"Almost gone four in the morning. I figured I had better wake you and give you time to get home and get some proper rest before you have more training tomorrow…er, today," she said.
"Thanks," Harry said quietly. "For everything, Morag. I don't know what I would do without you."
"It's my pleasure, Harry," Morag said. "You'd better get moving, though. My replacement comes in at six, and she's not nearly as nice."
Harry smiled at her gentle teasing, and stood up, pushing the chair back against the wall where it had been before. He leaned over the bed to kiss Draco on the forehead. He didn't kiss Draco's lips. Something about that seemed so very wrong with Draco being unable to respond. But he couldn't stand not to show his affection somehow, so a tender kiss on the forehead would have to do until Draco woke up.
Harry had to believe that Draco would wake up. He didn't know if he could make it through his days if he didn't have that hope.
"I love you," he whispered, for Draco's ears alone.
He was waiting for the day when Draco would say it back.
31 October, 1998
Harry carefully pushed open the tiny window in the attic that led to a small roof. He climbed out, shivering in the cool autumn air, before he pulled the window almost closed. Although he had no desire to join the small party downstairs, he had no wish to get locked out on the roof either. Making it look like the window was closed would hopefully discourage anyone who thought to seek him out.
With a sigh, he sat down and pulled his knees into his chest, wrapping his arms around them and tilting his head back to stare at the star-filled sky. Harry wasn't sure how long he sat there, but his skin had a fair number of goose pimples, not that he noticed.
Sometimes he regretted the knowledge that Halloween had always been his favorite holiday. It was the one time he'd usually been able to escape the Dursleys and participate. After they went out with Dudley, leaving him at home, Harry would sneak out of his cupboard and do his own trick-or-treating. All he had for a costume was a Frankenstein mask from an old Halloween outfit of Dudley's, but it was enough to get him candy at most houses.
He simply kept the Dursleys in his line of sight, usually staying a couple of houses behind them. Once he saw them heading for home, Harry would hightail it back and put himself in the cupboard, making sure to stash the mask and the pocketfuls of candy he'd been able to get in the cramped space as far under the stairs as he could reach. Uncle Vernon had never caught onto that little trick of his, Harry remembered with a small smile.
Once he'd found out that his parents had lost their lives on Halloween, the holiday had lost its allure. Ironically, this had happened once he was at Hogwarts and able to have more candy than he'd ever be able to eat in a dozen lifetimes. He'd managed for the most part to hide his new distaste for Halloween from his friends. As much as Harry appreciated Ron and Hermione, there were some things he just couldn't explain to them.
He figured that it had been at least a couple of hours that he'd been out here contemplating the night sky, and Harry was thinking that the festivities were probably about over. He should probably go in before Ron and Hermione really started looking for him.
The window suddenly swung open with a loud squeak and Harry jumped in surprise. A second later, Malfoy's head popped out and he smirked at Harry.
"Hiding, Potter?"
"Actually, yes, Malfoy. I'm not in the mood for company, so if you wouldn't mind," Harry said, as he jerked a thumb back towards the house.
Malfoy ignored this, naturally, and crawled out onto the tiny space, sitting himself down right beside Harry. He shivered and said, "Damn, it's cold out here." He pulled his wand out of his sleeve and cast a quick warming charm over the two of them.
Harry hadn't thought to do that, and muttered, "Thanks."
"No problem," Malfoy said with a grin.
He didn't say anything else and the two of them sat in silence for a few minutes, before Harry grew impatient.
"So what are you doing out here?" he asked.
"I think I'm the one who should be asking that question. I thought you'd be down at the party, lording it over your adoring fans."
"I don't have fans, Malfoy, I have friends. You probably have no idea what that's like, I know," Harry said.
"Oh, that's harsh, Potter. I did have friends. I left them all behind when I decided to join your Order."
Malfoy was looking up at the sky he spoke, but Harry could hear the touch of hurt in his voice, and immediately felt guilty. He knew that the Slytherin had given up a lot to join the Light side, including defying his own father, probably for the first time in his life.
"Sorry," Harry muttered. "It's just, Halloween is a kind of a rough time for me, and it's irritating having to put on a mask for everyone and pretend."
"Masks can be difficult to deal with, yes. But sometimes they're helpful in getting through day-to-day life."
Harry wasn't quite sure what to make of that. Was Malfoy trying to give him advice? He hadn't really had much contact with the other boy in the couple of months since he'd arrived at Grimmauld Place, so at least they hadn't fought, but that meant they'd never really talked either. Malfoy seemed to stay down in the potions lab with Snape most of the time, and Harry and his friends were preoccupied with finding Horcruxes.
"Had a lot of practice in wearing masks, have you?" he asked, rather flippantly. He had the feeling he was missing something that Malfoy was trying to say, and wished he would just stop being so cryptic and say what he meant.
"Sometimes I feel like the mask is my true face, I've worn it so often."
Frustrated, Harry said, "What are you talking about? You and Snape, and all the Slytherins, why can't you ever just come out and say what you mean?"
Malfoy turned and looked at Harry then, and he was surprised to see the sheen of tears in the other boy's eyes.
"I got a letter from my mother today. My father was killed this morning. I thought if anyone would understand about losing their parent on this of all days, it would be you."
"I'm sorry," Harry said automatically, even though he wasn't sure if he really was or not. Lucius Malfoy was an utter git who probably had deserved whatever he got, but he was Draco's dad. Harry knew what it was like to lose someone you loved. He still missed Sirius every day.
"No, you're not," Malfoy said, with a small scoff.
"I'm sorry on your account, for losing your father. And having to find out by letter can't have been very nice."
"No. No, it wasn't," Malfoy sighed.
There was silence for a long moment, and Harry wondered whether he should break it or if he should just let it linger. Less chance of an argument that way. But he couldn't help being curious.
"How did it happen? Do you know?" he asked hesitantly.
"The Dark Lord was extremely angry over a failed mission and went a little too far in his punishment. My mum said in her letter that he hadn't really been the same since he got out of Azkaban," Malfoy said bitterly.
Harry wasn't sure if that bitterness was directed at Voldemort for killing Lucius, or at Harry himself for causing Draco's father to have been sent to Azkaban in the first place. Either way, he decided not to risk disagreement by just staying quiet. He wanted to think about Lily and James Potter right now, not Lucius Malfoy.
They might have sat there for another hour or two, just appreciating the company of another person as they contemplated their individual grief, but the wards suddenly went mad. They both jumped and looked at each other, before scrambling to their feet to rush back through the attic door. There was a momentary struggle as they both tried to go through at the same time, which Malfoy won as he'd been a bit closer.
By the time they clambered down the stairs into the living room where the rest of the Order had been partying, there was shouting and wands out everywhere. Harry went up on his tiptoes to try and see over the crowd. He hated being short, because he couldn't see anything. Just then, the people in the living room shifted and he caught a glimpse of pale blond hair.
Malfoy gasped and said, "Mum!" His wand clattered to the floor, forgotten in his haste to get to his mother. He shoved his way through the mob of people and fell to his knees in front of Narcissa Malfoy. She was sitting on one of the sofas in the room, or perhaps it was more accurate to say that she was propped on the sofa. Harry had never seen Mrs. Malfoy looking less than perfectly put together, but she was a mess at the moment. Her hair was tangled and flying wildly about her face. Her clothes were torn in places and Harry thought he saw blood in several spots. She was also trembling uncontrollably.
Harry reached down and picked up Draco's wand, figuring the other boy wouldn't care for it to be trampled on. He moved closer to the sofa now that the crowd around them had thinned a little.
"What happened?" he asked, directing his question at Arthur Weasley.
"We're not sure. She just appeared a few minutes ago in the middle of the room. I believe she has one of our emergency Portkeys, although I'm not sure where or how she got hold of it," Arthur replied grimly.
Harry looked around the room and was surprised at the frowns and looks of outright suspicion on most everyone's faces. He shoved his and Draco's wand into his pocket and stepped forward to grab one of the fluffy afghans that rested on the back of the sofa.
"She's obviously hurt, so why aren't one of you helping her?" he said in irritation, as he wrapped the afghan around Narcissa's shoulders. She started in surprise and looked up at him. Harry tried to smile at her in encouragement as he pulled the afghan closed in front of her. Her hands, still shaking, reached up to hold it in place as she returned his smile with a weak one of her own.
"Thank you, Mr. Potter," she said faintly. He could barely hear her as the wards were still wailing and Harry wondered why someone wasn't taking care of that, as it was extremely annoying.
Harry nodded, and then looked at Draco, who was watching him with gratitude shining out of his eyes.
"We weren't sure if it might not be a trick of some kind," Hermione said, though she sounded unsure of herself now.
"Does that mean you can't be decent human beings and help someone who's in pain?" Harry snapped. "Where's Snape?"
"He was summoned a couple of hours ago," Remus said.
"She probably needs some healing potions. Malfoy, can you-"
Harry was cut off as the Floo suddenly flared and Severus Snape emerged, his cloak billowing just as it always had at Hogwarts. He also managed to exit and keep moving without losing his balance or getting ash all over him. Harry was at once impressed and envious. Of course, Harry still thought he looked like a giant bat as he swooped over to Narcissa. He took her face in his hands and raised it so that he could look at her more closely.
"Draco, blood replenishing potion, healing potion variant number three, and Murtlap Essence from the lab, now," he said sharply. Draco stood immediately and turned, but stopped when Snape spoke up again. "And the pain-relieving potion that I keep in the black cabinet."
"Wh-what? But that's…that's for-" Draco stammered, his eyes wide.
Snape tore his eyes away from Narcissa to bore into her son. "I know what it's for. She needs them sooner rather than later, so if you could hurry, it would be appreciated."
"Yes, sir," Draco whispered and left the room almost at a run.
Harry still sat beside Narcissa on the sofa, wondering whether he should just move out of Snape's way. He was rather afraid to move, as he really didn't want to catch the man's attention. It was never a good idea to be in Snape's focus when he was in this sort of mood, as Harry had learned by hard experience. Snape didn't seem to even notice he was there though, as he turned to look at the Order members standing around dumbly.
"Bill Weasley!" he shouted.
Ron's oldest brother stepped forward warily. "Yes?"
"You're the Secret Keeper for the headquarters, are you not?"
Harry blinked in surprise. He had never known who was made Secret Keeper after Dumbledore's death, but he supposed that Bill would make sense. Not as obvious as one of his parents or Kingsley Shacklebolt, and he had numerous contacts through his work as a cursebreaker with Gringott's.
"I am."
"Please let Mrs. Malfoy in on the secret, unless you're enjoying the delightful refrain of the house's wards as much as I am."
Bill stayed where he was, his uncertainty showing on his scarred face. "I think we might need some explanation before I do that."
Snape glared and then bit out, "Mrs. Malfoy denounced the Dark Lord because he killed her husband this morning. In return for her show of defiance, he allowed his Death Eaters to torture her and then he himself placed her under the Cruciatus Curse several times over, for nearly a minute each time. I know this because I was there and witnessed every moment of it."
There was a wave of shocked murmurs throughout the room, and Bill Weasley, so white-faced now that his scars were standing out vividly, stepped forward to stand in front of Narcissa. He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to her, saying quietly, "Read this aloud, please."
Her hands were still shaking so badly that she couldn't hold the paper still enough to read it. Without thinking, Harry reached over and held them steady for her. He ignored the slight rise of Snape's eyebrow at the gesture.
"The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix can be found at 12 Grimmauld Place," Narcissa read softly.
Instantly, the wards went quiet and everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief. Draco came running back into the room then, his arms full of potions bottles. He set them on the sofa on the other side of Narcissa and then hovered there for a moment. Snape sent a fierce glare at Harry, who frowned in confusion before he realized that he was still sitting beside Draco's mum and holding her hands.
"Oh, sorry," he said as he released her hands and started to stand up. Before he could, Narcissa grabbed his arm with one hand.
"Your kindness is much appreciated, Mr. Potter," she said, still managing to sound regal despite the fact that she was in pain.
"You're welcome," was all Harry could think to say in reply. She let go and Harry stood up, Draco immediately taking his place.
"How did she end up here?" Bill asked.
Snape had begun administering the potions to Narcissa and it was a few seconds before he answered. "I was able to slip her my emergency Portkey and whisper the password to her. Unfortunately, I didn't have the opportunity until after she'd faced the horrors that the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters inflicted."
Finally, everyone in the room began to put their wands away, and the atmosphere of the room relaxed somewhat. Still, they all just kind of stood around, as if unsure what they should do next. Snape stood up and spoke to the room in general.
"She needs somewhere to rest. Is there a room available?"
"There's one on the third floor that's not being used. It'll take some cleaning first, so why don't you put her in our room for now," Molly offered. She looked at Narcissa, chin raised as she said this, seemingly expecting Mrs. Malfoy to sneer at her.
"That would be acceptable," Snape answered for her, as Narcissa's eyes had already begun to drift closed.
Molly, of course, rounded up her children to get them started on the cleaning, much to their dismay as it meant the party was over. Harry went with the Weasleys to help. He glanced over his shoulder as Snape leaned down to lift Narcissa in his arms, Draco still lingering right at his shoulder. As they trooped up the stairs to do yet more cleaning, Harry looked again at Snape, Draco, and Molly as they went down a hallway on the first floor. Just as he was about to turn away, Draco turned to look at him. Harry paused on the steps, wondering if Draco was going to say something. He also wondered why he was suddenly thinking of Malfoy as 'Draco'.
The other boy just gave him a brief nod, and then followed Snape and his mother down the hall. Harry realized he still had Draco's wand. He would have to find him tomorrow so that he could return it. For some reason, Harry found himself looking forward to that.
TBC
