A.N.: I own nothing! So just so I can address some of your concerns before it get too far along, Harry Potter is Odette Porter now, and there is no real difference between them. What you must keep in mind is that I am working under the impression that everything a person is has been stored inside the physical brain. What this means is that wise old MALE Harry is now in a very female body having to suffer through everything that means. She is 14-15 which means she is in the peek of puberty, prone to emotional unbalances and physical upsets. Her brain is female, her very physical brain, which means that without ever realizing it Harry is thinking things through very differently. Males as a general rule are task-focused thinkers meaning they think one step at a time very rarely thinking about the whole complicated picture. Females are "web-thinkers" meaning they search for the connection between things often brushing over small things to look at bigger more future oriented things. Harry's very thought process is upset, he is approaching things differently, feeling things differently and is a very different person. In the simplest terms he is a new person entirely with the remembered experience of his old life and the wonder and doubt of a much younger woman. So look at Odette as Harry in a different form, she is different so don't be surprised if she does something you would have expected her to.
Chapter 2: Russian RouletteOdette cursed to herself, thinking that only she could get into a situation like this and looked at soldier right in the eye. If she was going to die she wanted to see his eyes as she did, she hoped that it would haunt him for the rest of his life. She had almost made it past the border of France unnoticed then this one had taken notice of her. Nazi were sadist, at least they just thought she was a scrawny looking boy and thank heavens for small favors. This particular soldier had a death wish it seemed, as he was addicted with playing Russian roulette with his victims.
He had sat her down on the ground forcefully and his buddies surrounded them making sure she couldn't run anywhere hands resting casually on their guns. Odette had watched terrified as he hand emptied his revolver of all but one bullet; he spun it the clicking of it filled up the silence. He held the gun out to her with a small smile on his face and said, "Take a deep breath." Odette realized her hands were shaking as she reached for the gun. He smiled wider saying, "Calm yourself, if you play, you play for keeps, take the gun and count to three." Odette forced herself to stop shaking and to take the gun from him knowing full well that she had to otherwise they would just kill her outright. At least this way she had a chance as small as it is.
She was sweating as she put the gun to her head, there was no time to think and she had to start this sick game. However, she stared right into his eyes because if she lost she wanted to look him in the eye as she died. Odette felt like you could see her heart beating through her chest, she was so terrified, but she wasn't leaving here until it was gone. She had to pass this soldier's 'test', and with that thought she made herself pull the trigger. Tensing at the click of an empty click Odette forced herself to not cry in relief simply handing him the gun.
The click whirr of the barrel filled the silence again and then he didn't even hesitate the empty click filled her with dread. Odette didn't know if she could do it again as he handed her the gun back. Detached, Odette spun the barrel listening to the click whirr with growing horror. Wondering how it was that she was so powerful yet so helpless at the same time. "Say a payer to yourself, close your eyes sometimes it helps." He said slowly staring at her intently.
Odette got a scary thought looking at him, the fact he was here, that obviously had played this many time before meant he has never lost. Her heart fluttered, she brought the gun to her temple and stared around her at the people tormenting her. This was the only way out; she had to do this, pulling the trigger she stared into his eyes once more. Click. She let out a shuddering breath handing the gun back to him. He was staring her right in the eye when he spun the barrel, and Odette sucked in a shuddering breath as he placed it against his temple.
The look in his eyes was confident, his finger pressed down on the trigger…BAM…. Odette had seen every moment of his death as the blood and brain matter blew out the other side of his head. She would never forget was the look in his eyes… she would never forget his eyes. Odette snuck off as the surprise and shock distracted the other soldiers cloaking herself as she slipped away into the night. She was haunted by his eyes that night and her heart fluttered nervously in her chest for a long time after that.
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Odette breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped off her rickety rowboat and onto English soil for the first time in this life. It had taken her a year to get from France to England; she had walked the border of France following it to the coastline. Odette hadn't left France unscathed by the war, knowing that the things she had seen and done would haunt her for a long time. However, Odette had a warriors heart having faced worse as Harry and knew she would get past it like she had everything else.
She hadn't been able to charter a boat to England and so she had taken the very foolish, dangerous option of this rowboat with nothing to rely on but her magic to get her here. Odette wasn't entirely sure where in England she had landed just that she didn't see any signs of civilization at the moment. Wearily she left the beach and moved towards the wooded land she could see not far from her. Mentally listing the facts about herself in her head to reaffirm herself. Her name was Odette Odile Porter, born March 12, 1927, a witch who loved music, and dancing. Her mother named her after the play Swan Lake…she had loved ballet and ironically her animagus first form of this body was a swan.
Odette had lived happily with her mother until the war had reached them and destroyed everything she knew May 20th 1940. As she reached the trees she sat down to think over her options, because before that very moment Odette had half been expecting to die before she ever saw England. She wasn't entirely sure what she was going to do now, she had money enough to last her a few years yet but what about after when the money runs out. Odette supposed she was a talented enough ballet dancer to earn money that way, or as a musician. However, that would mean giving up on the magical world for the muggle one and she didn't think she could do that.
Without her O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s Odette knew she wouldn't be able to publish anything or seek any mastery but pursuing those meant going to Hogwarts. Did she want to go to Hogwarts? Yes, yes she did. That settled she knew she had to formulate out a plan, first she needed a place to live, then she would contact the school about applying. Then after that she needed to get the essentials, food, clothes, furniture and supplies. All that with the meager funds she had, Odette sighed at the thought.
Getting up Odette began walking, it was all she had done for the past year after all and it was familiar and safe. Odette sang softly to herself to pass the time as she had done for a while now. She had started writing songs shortly after she had begun her journey, it helped her more than she would care to admit. Somehow it was therapeutic to put her experiences, her thoughts, and her feelings into a song. She had even known enough using her combined knowledge from both lives to compose music in her mind to accompany them; in her head she could hear them play just as vividly as if she was playing them herself.
She had been working on this one for a while now but for some reason Odette hadn't been able to get past the first few verses. She sang it now hoping for a bit of inspiration, not only for her song but for her plans as well. Mentally playing the piano as she did so:
Someone once told me that you have to choose Don't you take chances I can't stand by the side
What you win or lose
You can't have everything
You might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain
'cause love won't set you free
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be
She had just finished her last line when she saw it the ruin of a cottage, it was old, it was falling apart and very neglected but it was perfect. It was easier with magic to make something from something else than it was to make something from nothing. Her magic had taken a little less than the year she had been traveling to merge and settle down. However, wandless magic was still harder than it once was since this body wasn't used to it like her old one. Her mother's wand worked, just poorly and Odette knew she would have to replace it soon. Nonetheless it would work just fine to fix up this cottage, make it livable and it gave her a place to stay.
Since it was obviously abandoned Odette didn't feel bad about taking it for herself, and she resolved to ward it once she got her hands on a more suitable wand. Once she cast the Fidelius charm on it, it would be as if it had never existed to the world anyway and it would make her feel much safer. That also had the added bonus of not costing her anything to buy a home with her already meager funds. It took her well into the night to put the cabin to rights, restoring it to its former glory and she resolved to work on improvements tomorrow before she fell asleep.
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Odette walked slowly down Diagon Alley, taking in the things that were different, taking in the things that were the same and finally stopping in front of Ollivanders Wand Shop. Stepping into the shop Odette could almost forget everything that had happened as if no time had passed and she was a first year boy again getting that first wand. That thought left her head when she saw the much younger Ollivander come out from the back of the shop.
"Hello, how may I help you miss," Ollivander said politely. Odette curtsied out of habit drawing a questioning look from him since she was still wearing trousers. "My wand was broken in an…incident, I am in need of another." Odette said softly still not used to talking after so long alone. "I'm Odette," She said realizing she hadn't introduced herself. Shaking her hand he said, "Ollivander," before he started pulling wands from the back.
The next three hours were long and it seemed as if history was indeed repeating itself when the Holly wand was placed into her hands. Odette had to admit she had missed the warmth of her wand as it filled her and sparks flew. She paid for it and a wrist holster leaving just as quietly as she had come. Odette was contemplating the repercussions of taking her wand, since there might be a Harry Potter that was going to be born in this world who would need it. Then she pushed the thought from her mind stubbornly; after all there was no knowing if this world's events would follow the one she had left.
The thought did ruin her enjoyment a bit making her finish her shopping quickly, getting her supplies, clothes, and buying of an owl quicker than she had planned. She returned to her cottage to cast her wards and finish her improvements. It was later that night that she did something she had been avoiding for a while now; taking the mirror she had purchased but not looked in out of her new trunk. Odette had never seen her reflection, her mother hadn't owned a mirror and while she had been on the run she hadn't had the chance to look at her new appearance.
Taking a deep breath she stepped in front of the mirror naked and looked for the first time at her new self. Odette was startled at first looking at the girl in the mirror, she was beautiful and that was a shocking revelation. It wasn't some misguided pride but pure observation. Her face was angular, high cheekbones, arching eyebrows, straight petit nose, strikingly intense blue almond shaped eyes, and very full cupid bow lips. Her body was slender and athletic, slim waist, hourglass figure with full breast that Odette objectively estimated to be around a C-cup and long chestnut colored hair.
It was odd, seeing herself and Odette wasn't quite sure how she felt about the entire situation. However, she had a letter to write and a cabin to finish renovating so she put her appearance from her mind for now. The letter was one harder to write than anticipated since Odette wasn't entirely sure where to start because she didn't feel like telling her life story to a stranger. Plus she wasn't sure she wanted anyone to know she was only fifteen, living alone, and taking care of herself. So she settled with telling the headmaster that she was a recent immigrant to the country that had been home schooled for most of her life and that she wished to begin attending Hogwarts.
She sent the letter off with her new owl, recently named Hermione in honor of her and went to bed. The next morning Odette paid a visit to the ministry to register herself as a newly immigrated citizen; which had been startlingly easy since much of the procedure was as she had remembered from her time in office. Even all the loopholes for gaining emancipation were the same and it only took her an afternoon to get an established paper trail.
Odette hadn't been expecting a letter of reply from the headmaster but her owl was waiting for her with one when she returned home. She took it cautiously and read it slowly after she had checked it for any magic…it had none. The letter was an acceptance for her to attend the up coming school year in September, that based on her entrance exam she would be placed in either fourth or fifth year going off her knowledge and age. There was a list of school supplies, the tuition cost, and the time and place where she was to take her exam included in the letter.
Calculating, Odette realized she better aim for fifth year since she would not be able to afford to pay for more than that if she wanted to graduate. It was April, so she had four months to prepare herself for going back to school and establishing her home here. Bemusedly Odette wondered it she should get a part time job somewhere so she could earn some more money before she left. Since she realized she might have to buy a house elf to continue the upkeep of the cabin while she was away at school. It would certainly help her out to have more funds available to her.
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Odette looked out over the empty platform from her seat on the train deep in thought about the last four months. The renovations on the house hadn't taken as long as she had thought since her new wand allowed her to wield a great repertoire of spells than she had been unable to using her mother's. The woods around her home had provided plenty of material for her to add more rooms onto the cottage. Since it had probably been hand built by muggles her cabin had originally only had two rooms, a bedroom and a living room/kitchen/dining room.
It hadn't taken long for her to add on a proper bathroom, with runes engraved in the water fixtures to ensure clean, ever flowing warm water for her showers or bath and vanishing charms to the toilet. Making a proper kitchen had come next, as Odette was almost as sick of not having proper food as she was of not being clean. Time on the road had made her crave those luxuries and she may have gone a little over board to suit her needs. Then she had worked on adding a library/study, a potions lab and improving on her bedroom.
Her bed for one had been an extensive piece of spell work that had runes, enchantments, and a number of spells on it to ensure that it was the most comfortable bed she had ever experienced. That and she had to add a walk in closet along with a sewing room because she found a surprising amount of enjoyment making her own clothes. Then after the house had been turned into a proper home Odette had made a very nice greenhouse out back for going both magical and muggle plants.
It had the dual purpose of being a potion ingredients supply and a place for growing her food to cut down on cost. Once this was all done Odette had made a network of secret tunnels and bunkers that could be used to escape with supplies should her wards fail. She believed firmly that it wasn't paranoia if they were really out to get you! The whole process had taken a month and then afterwards Odette had needed something to fill up her time.
So she had gotten in contact with the St. Mungo's potion supplier and got a part time job brewing low level healing potion that she could do at home. With the extra money she had gotten herself a house elf named Otto because she knew that with her being gone from the house for so long it would need someone to upkeep it. The elf was perfect for that since he was bound to her and wasn't inclined to betray the location of her home.
Odette clutched at the leather bound book in her hands turning her eyes away from the platform to look at her journal. She had gotten it shortly after she had begun her journey to England to keep her sane from the loneliness of traveling by herself. Odette had warded it powerfully though, tracing the runes with her fingers and pressing her finger against the lock. She didn't react at all when the metal shallowly cut her and clicked open.
Inside there was more than just journal entries explaining the day and her thoughts, there were songs she had composed, sheet music to go along with them, and sketches she had made. As Odette thumbed through the pages she paused when her hands reached a certain song…and they trembled. Casting her eyes around she realized it would be a while yet before more passengers would come so Odette silently cast silencing and locking charms on the door. Drawing in a shuddering breath she snapped the journal closed as her mind traveled back to that clearing on the border of France and Belgium.
~~~~~~~~T~~~~~~~~
Tom Riddle was a lot of things, exceptionally bright, vicious, clever, calculating, cold, a masterful actor, polite, and powerful…immensely powerful. He was also insatiably curious, once something had his attention he obsessed until that thing revealed its secrets in entirety. It was one of the reasons he had gotten so far so fast, and it was also one of his little known weaknesses. Tom always showed up to the Hogwarts express a few hours early for a number of reasons. He liked the quiet, he liked having the train to himself since he was solitary by nature and most importantly it got him out of the filthy muggle orphanage earlier.
So, he was immediately curious when as he was walking by the door to his right flared briefly with magic that he recognized as locking and silencing. Now ordinarily Tom knew that some of the students of his age group took advantage of the compartments sometimes for dirty things but it was hours before even those filthy ones would begin to creep onto his train. Curious, Tom deactivated the charms almost as soon as they were cast and discretely spelled the door so he could see in but whoever was in couldn't see out.
The girl sitting there surprised Tom, not because she was very pretty but because he hadn't seen her at Hogwarts before making him all the more curious. She seemed to be staring straight ahead to the seat across from her as if someone was there. A cursory scan showed she was indeed alone…well besides him. She was staring intently and was so perfectly quiet and still that Tom was almost startled when she began to sing…of all things.
Take a breath, take it deep
Calm yourself, he says to me
If you play, you play for keeps
Take the gun, and count to three
I'm sweating now, moving slow
No time to think, my turn to go
Her hands were shaking, as she seemed to take something from her imaginary companion, Tom reluctantly admitted that her voice was soothing. Her voice was a nice to listen to and for some reason he couldn't seem to look away from her.
And you can see my heart, beating
You can see it through my chest
Said I'm terrified but I'm not leaving
I know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger
In Odette's mind it was as if she was right there again, her song had pulled her back through time and she could hear the clicking of the barrel while feeling the wait of the gun.
Say a prayer, to yourself
He says close your eyes,
Sometimes it helps
And then I get, a scary thought
That he's here, means he's never lost
Tom suddenly realized that he had never heard a song like this before, it was like poetry, and she seemed to be telling a story. Idly, it made him wonder if it was true or an imagined one.
And you can see my heart, beating
Oh you can see it through my chest
And I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving
Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger
Odette wondered if being able to remember with such perfect clarity was a blessing or a curse being a by-product of her occumlency. Memory was like a knife, it would cut you just as deeply as one. The terror of that night, filled her, putting more passion into her song, and she could see his eyes as if he were still sitting across from her.
As my life flashes before my eyes
I'm wondering will I, ever see another sunrise?
So many won't get the chance to say goodbye
But it's too late to think of the value of my life
Curiosity burned inside of him, as Tom knew this song was more than that it was her story…a true story and he found himself wanting to know about her. His eyes gleamed brightly at the thought of unraveling her mysteries and leaving her stripped in the cold.
And you can see my heart, beating
Oh oh you can see it through my chest
Said I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving
Know that I must pass this test
And you can see my heart, beating
Oh you can see it through my chest
I I I'm terrified but I'm not leaving (no, no)
Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger
Xxxxxxxhxxxxxxxxxx
Odette closed her eyes this time but it made no difference she heard the shot as if there was a gun firing off next to her and she still saw the horrible result. It made her stomach drop unpleasantly and she forced herself to pick up her journal again to look for a distraction. The song that she had been having trouble with was half way completed and she took the time to study the lyrics before turning the page to add more to the accompaniment.
In no time at all the Express started to fill up and before long she felt it tug its way out of the station. Odette immersed herself in her journal and the time flew by only the faint rumbling in her stomach that told her it had gotten late. She looked down sadly at her very pretty dress that she had sewn not to long ago and regretfully put on her uniform finding it very plain. The headmaster had told her to go with the first years for simplicity sake since Odette would need to be sorted anyways. Though she would be the first and her status, as a transfer would be announced with her name.
Not that Odette cared much about it anyway since she had the experience of well over a millennia under her belt and had abandoned embarrassment somewhere around one hundred and fifty. In fact if she thought about it, Odette realized it had been some years since she had felt anything but indifference. In fact, when she had cried when she had buried this body's mother had been the first time since Hermione had died that she had done so.
That was a troubling thought; she contemplated it as she bobbed along in her own little boat without noticing that no one had joined her. Odette was racking her mind trying very hard to remember the last time she had felt anything besides boredom before coming into this world. Disturbed when she drew a blank Odette decided it couldn't have been helped, after all when was the last time anything or anyone had presented a challenge to her?
She was technically very old, her knowledge was vast, and she was very powerful. Nonetheless, Odette wondered when she had stopped living life and simply let it pass her by. Even now Odette acknowledged that she had been living in a haze hovering between boredom and extreme emotions. She needed to let herself feel again if she wanted to live this second chance at life to the fullest.
As Hogwarts came into view Odette couldn't help but smile at the beauty of it even after living away from it for a million more years she was sure it would still feel like home. It was an odd feeling being here again, waiting to be sorted surrounded by nervous children and it felt almost too surreal. Especially when she had caught sight of Dumbledore, he was still much older then her in appearance but much younger than she had ever seen him. His red hair stood in stark contrast to his purple robes and made him look as ridiculous as ever and made Odette smile a little as the stars decorating it sparkled.
He was waiting for the rest of the first years to crowd in around her and gave an amusing speech about the houses along with the point system though Odette didn't really pay attention. No her focus was on the fact that she couldn't really decide on how she should feel about Dumbledore, on one hand his manipulations were the roots of some of her greatest sorrows and on the other she understood him to an extent. Odette couldn't decide if she hated him, or if she liked him. For her sanity's sake she decided on indifference until he did something to sway her one way or the other.
This was not the same man she had grown up looking up to and despising in turn. No this man was someone different and Odette knew she had to keep that fact to the forefront of her mind. Entering the great hall was a bit unnerving since all eyes naturally landed on her since she didn't exactly fit into the first year mold. Whispers started up but weren't allowed to escalate thanks to Headmaster Dippet clearing his throat loudly.
"Welcome, some announcement before we begin the sorting. As many of you may have noticed we have a new transfer student waiting to be sorted, I trust everyone will be as welcoming as ever and try not to pry. Also I would like to remind everyone that the Forbidden forest has remained off limits again this year and that there is to be no spell casting in the halls. No without further delay, Professor Dumbledore if you would be so kind." Dippet said waving his hand grandly at Dumbledore.
Odette didn't really listen to the sorting hats new song, since she wasn't very interested in getting involved with any politics it brought up. Dumbledore called her name first as promised, "Porter, Odette" and she moved fluidly onto the stool as he placed the hat on her head. It was odd feeling it fit so nicely and not coming down to cover her eyes as was usual.
"Hmmm very interesting, yes quite…challenging…but where to put you."
"Anywhere is fine."
"Ahh but which is best Miss Porter, you have a lot of power in you…knowledge and a thirst for something…. Tell me Miss Porter when was the last time you felt more than indifference to your life. Do you have a goal? Something to drive you forward…No…well that won't do. All that power, with nothing to direct you will only lead to terrible things…. Tell me when was the last time you were challenged? …Felt alive?"
"Why do you ask questions for which you already know the answer?"
"Of course, it was when you were seeking to defeat him…interesting…you do realize he is as alive as you are now. Sitting but a few feet away? Why not face him again…hmmm…confusion on that I see. You are happy he is here, furious at the same time, frustrated you don't know where to precede when it concerns him… I think we have found our answer… you were great once…great but lost…perhaps this house will give you a path…better be….SLYTHERIN!"
Odette pulled off the hat and opened her eyes having just realized she had closed them. She looked over at her knew house gaze skimming over familiar faces and some new ones before landing on him. Odette saw the curiosity in his eyes, and she couldn't deicide if she liked that of not. Brushing past him she sat at an empty space further down the table and all the while wondering just what she would do about that boy…Tom Marvolo Riddle.
