Why did I agree to this? I am literally lying awake in the yucky heat that I hate waiting for my dead boyfriend to come and kill me. Jesus I'm so stupid how do I get myself into these situations?

If I turn over a little maybe I'll – ow, what the hell is this? My phone! Oh oops forgot about that. 5a.m are you kidding me? Hmm, that means it's 5p.m back home. Will Sher pick up? No harm in trying I guess. Maybe James won't even come. Better whisper in case Sammy gets pissed.

Pick up the phone Sher, Jesus Christ how hard is that to do?

"Hello, you've reached blah blah blah oh for god's sake hurry up," okay there's the tone.

"Hey Sher, it's me. Um, so I've been sort of kidnapped. And uh, I don't know if I'm safe or not I might be but I'm going to relay everything to you through this phone call and what the hell is that?"

There's a low light filling the room coming from behind me. Should I look? Oh god I'm going to aren't I?

Slowly because this is terrifying wow my hands are shaking to hard right now wait before you do this put your phone in your bra idiot, Jesus. Ok you're good to go.

"James?" he's in that stupid thrift shop brown indie suit me and his sister picked out for his birthday last year. Why would he be wearing that thing? And why is he glowing? And why am I crying even though he's just a ghost?

"Hi Tav," his voice is normal on the way it sounds but he's so cold.

"Oh my god," I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and stand up but what I was supposed to hug him why is he grabbing me. "What are you doing?"

He's tying me to a chair? Oh for god's sake even my boyfriend wants to kill me.

"You hurt me Tav," he whispers through gritted teeth as he tightens the first bond around my wrist.

Wait a second, why aren't I fighting back? I still have a free hand, what if I hit him HOLY SHIT IT WENT RIGHT THROUGH HIM?

Okay he's laughing now what's happened to him? "You can't touch me," is that a knife? "But I can still touch you."

He presses the sharp edge of the knife into my forearm and drags it down towards my fingertips, leaving a huge gash down the length of it. I squirm under the pain my god I have never felt anything that bad in my whole life. Well, maybe not worse than losing him.

I'm starting to sweat on my forehead and he does the same to my thigh, right from the hem of my shorts to the top of my knee cap, smiling the whole time. I can feel my skin ripping beneath the blade oh god it hurts. I tip my head back and breathe heavily, trying to compose myself but having a hard time of it.

"Why," I said between breaths. "Why are you, ugh! Why are you doing, ah, doing this to me?"

His smile disappears and he holds the knife to where my jaw meets my neck. I whimper away from him but he still uses just the tip of the knife to cut right along the bone. "You hurt me Tav. You hurt me so bad," wow hello bad 80s horror movie Jesus fucking Christ how often do you see modern proper good horror stuff saying this shit.

He moves the knife to brush a damp lock of hair back from my face and I tip my head back again, straining to get away from him. The knife taps against my cheekbone a couple of times before dragging down to the corner of my mouth.

"How?" that's all I can manage because if I move too much he'll just hurt me more.

"You know how!" he yells, spitting in my face. "I heard you on the phone to John," he says the name with the most resentment I've ever seen on anyone ever. "Saying you love him."

This time he takes the knife and starts the cut at the top of my collar bone and ends it right between my boobs. He hesitates, licking his lips then the cut. I have no idea why he would want to do that I mean for god's sake that's revolting. And all it did anyway was spread the blood across my chest. I'm panting now oh god he's pulling up my shirt and putting it on my belly button. If he goes anywhere past my nickers I swear to god I don't know what I'll do.

He did.

"You sick minded freak," I say, my teeth gritted. I didn't realise I was crying. But I'm sobbing. My back's heaving and arching in pain and my heart hurts so much more than my skin.

He looks angry. Really angry. Oh god what's he, why is he raising it up like that?

I scream as loud as I can as the knife goes all the way through the edge of my left thigh and into the chair.

"Stop it!" I yell at him, tears streaming down my face. "Don't you see what you're doing? James, do you love me?"

I can't stop yelling and the pain is so immense and he just looks at me and nods.

"Are you angry? Do you want me to love you? Do you want me back?"

He nods. The pain surges through my body again and Sammy's banging on the door but it must be locked and my hair is wet with sweat and I flip it out of my face and grit my teeth and look at James trying to soften my face but I hurt too much and I arch my back and tip my head back and breathe heavily then look at James again and Sammy's still banging on the door.

"So then stop this. You're stopping me from loving you if anything. I love you James, so don't stop me," my back arches and the movement makes my legs move and the knife cuts into me more deeply.

"You don't love me!" his watery blue eyes are welling up and it's heart breaking to see him like this. "You love John! I heard you say it," his voice cracks at the end.

Ok time to think. Who do I know called John? Okay four. Who do I say "I love you," to? Three. Who did I call a few weeks ago? One. So then John… oh my god.

"James do you even know who John is?" I'm still yelling oh god it hurts. Is that another knife? Sammy's still banging and if he doesn't get in here quickly I'm going to die.

"No, but he isn't me," his voice is quiet and his blond hair flops over his forehead as he hovers over me, taking my wrist and cutting two centimetres deep into it. I have no energy left to scream and all I can do is breathe heavily as I feel a vein pop and start gushing out onto the ropes, onto the arm rest, dripping down onto the floor.

"He's my brother's partner! I've known him since I was 19 of course I love him!"

James looks at me right in the eyes and there's this intense hate in them. It scares me right through and I think I'm going to pass out. He brings the knife down and in one swift movement he's literally hacked a chunk of flesh off my arm. My back arches and my leg presses into the other knife and the blood keeps on dripping and Sammy keeps on banging and I can't take it anymore. My whole body goes slack and my breathing is light and I'm not getting nearly enough oxygen I think I'm hyperventilating.

"I love him like a brother," I manage and Sammy gets the door open and James' face drops because he just realised and why is everything black?