Random Rizzles Phonecalls

Shipping Up To Houston

Rating: K for fluff and adorable bickering :-)

Disclaimer: Rizzoli & Isles belong to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro and several other people, not including me.

Summary: Maura's attending a Medical Examiner conference in Houston, Texas. One evening, she gets a phonecall from her LLBFF. Written from Maura's POV.


I was just about to get comfortable on my hotel bed when my phone rang - and I didn't recognize the ringtone. Frowning, I retrieved the little device from the nightstand and checked the caller ID. LLBFF. When and why did Jane put a new ringtone on my phone? Oh well, I'll just ask her. Rolling over onto my back, I took the call. "Hi Jane."

"Hey. Did that ringtone ring a bell for you?"

"Not really, no," I had to admit. I'm quite sure I've heard that tune before, but I don't remember where...

"No? Well in that case, you'll have to hear it again." And with that, Jane hung up, leaving me staring at my phone. What the...?


The device in my hand played that mysterious ringtone again, and this time, I immediately pressed the 'take call' button. "Well?" Jane asked without preamble.

"Well what?"

I could almost picture her signature eyeroll. "The ringtone, Maur. Did you recognize it?"

"Well, if I had to guess - which I don't do - I'd say it was a short version of 'Shipping Up To Boston'."

"Great job, Dr Google! And d'you know why I put it on your phone?" She didn't even wait for my reply. "Three clues: Shipping Up To Boston... Red Sox... and who's the biggest Red Sox fan you know?"

I smiled. "You, of course. Nice idea, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't mess with my ringtones again."

"Aww, that's too bad... Anyway, have you traded your designer heels for a pair of cowboy boots already?"

"Jane, that's a cliché. I've been here for almost a week and only seen five people wearing cowboy boots," I pointed out.

"Yeah? Then, what about a cowboy hat? You bought one of those?"

"Believe it or not, I did... Jane?"

"Huh?... Sorry, dropped my phone. Out of surprise, I guess - I never pegged you as the cowgirl type..."

"This isn't about my type, it's about sun protection, and since I don't like wearing baseball caps, I had to make do with the only other sort of headwear they sold."


A few moments of silence passed before I heard Jane laugh. "You know what? Buy those cowboy boots, a pair of jeans cut-offs, and a checked shirt, don't forget your hat at the hotel, and you're totally gonna rock BPD's next Halloween party."

"Only if you dress up in a similar fashion," I provoked her, knowing that Jane Rizzoli could never resist a challenge... after complaining about it for a while. Cue whiny answer in 3... 2... 1...

"Ugh, do I have to? I hate it when people stare at my ass."

"A. Yes, you have to. B. People look at your behind all the time, whether you're wearing cut-offs or not, and honestly, I can't really blame them," I pointed out, which earned me a snorting noise from the other end of the line. Ignoring it, I went on: "It's pure biology, I - uh, they just can't help it..."

"What d'you mean, you can't help but stare at my ass?"

Damn, I knew she was too good of a Detective to let this pass. "Uhm, I wanted to say that sometimes, I can't help but wonder where you put all that junk food you eat," I quickly made up. That's at least part of the truth, so I won't get any hives.

"Uh-uh..." I could tell Jane was still thinking about my last statement, but she didn't say anything for several moments, and neither did I. Until:

"Maur?"

"Yes?"

Her reply was so quiet I almost didn't catch it. "I miss you.".

"I miss you, too," I replied just as quietly, with a slightly sad smile. Maybe more than I should miss someone who's 'just' my best friend...


And then, right before things could get too... what would Jane call this, sappy?..., my best friend fell back into her usual sarcastic self. "Yeah, but I miss you more. I don't know how much longer I can put up with that Russian guy who's doing the autopsies while you're away at that stupid conference."

"Dr Popov?"

"Uh-huh... When are you comin' home? That guy gives me the creeps!"

"I'll be home in two days."

"That's two days too many," she declared, and while I felt touched by the fact that she missed me so much, she didn't need to act like my replacement had tried to stab her with a scalpel or something.

"Jane, don't exaggerate. Dr Popov can't be worse than Dr Pike, right?"

"Yeah, but he may be a little... mad at me..."

"Oh no, what did you do?"

"Uhm, I might've called him Dr Smirnoff... accidentally..."

I burst out laughing; I just couldn't help it. "Jane!"

"I'm glad you think that's funny," came her dry reply, no doubt accompanied by an eyeroll. "But I'm the one who has to go to the morgue and hear him start mutterin' Russian swearwords as soon as I walk through the door!"

"You never told me you spoke Russian."

She frowned - I didn't have to see her to know that she did. "I don't."

"Then how do you know they're swearwords?"

"Uhm... 'cause I called him a nickname he obviously didn't like?"

"You're being sarcastic."

"Yep," she deadpanned. "You've become pretty good at recognizing that."

"Well, I'm learning from the best..." I couldn't stifle a yawn. "Sorry, it's been a long day."

"M-hm... Don't forget to buy that cowgirl outfit tomorrow."

"Sure. I'll buy one for you as well."

"Oh, that's not necessary," she replied quickly. "Besides, you don't even know my size."

"Yes, I do." I paused for a moment. "Is it normal for friends to know each other's exact shoe and clothes size?"

"We're not just friends, Maur, we're LLBFF's. Life-Long Best Friends Forever."

Her reply made me smile. "You're right."

"I'm always right."

I just shook my head, too tired to discuss that statement. "Good night and see you in two days."


"Yeah, see you. And for now, sweet dreams." With that, Jane ended the call and I rolled over onto my side, placing my phone back on the nightstand, but not before changing the alarm signal to the ringtone Jane had put on my phone. My last thought before falling asleep was, I wonder if there's a song called, "Shipping Up To Houston"? It's a harbor town, just like Boston, so...

THE END


A/N
- For those who don't know yet: Dr Popov was briefly introduced during ep. 4x04 ("Killer in High Heels"). The nickname Dr Smirnoff is from Dorothy Snarker's recap of that episode, which can be found on AfterEllen.
- The ringtone Jane put on Maura's phone is the Rizzoli & Isles opening theme :-)