Keep Calm, Carry On
Notes: Thank you all for the lovely reviews, it looks like I'll keep this series going. (: Please continue to leave any constructive criticism or comments if you have any!
'Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high'
Rachel couldn't remember how she ended up in this unfamiliar place, no matter how hard she concentrated; she couldn't pinpoint the events of the night before she ended up here. Upon her awakening, she observed her environment and panicked once she processed the fact that this wasn't the home she had been familiar with previously. She was stuck in a nightmare, she was certain of it. The last thing she recalled was this strange emptiness she felt when she had been sleeping, and that's what bothered her the most. She knew something in her life had gone unfulfilled and that never ending hunger for the knowledge for what transpired before waking up to this would torment her until she could finally figure everything out. It was terrifying, really, to carry memories from her previous life to this strange new world she couldn't quite understand yet. The moment she had begun screaming, she'd heard something crash to the floor from downstairs and a familiar voice belonging to somebody she held so much resentment for.
"Rachel, baby, what's wrong!? I'm coming!" Shelby's voice echoed throughout her former home and it was unsettling. Hearing that voice again so suddenly caused Rachel's throat to constrict; she wasn't quite ready to interact with her mother just yet. Dread overwhelmed the singer at that very moment, still terrified that this was the world she had woken up to and she felt ever so lost as it seemed like she had been forced to backtrack a few years for reasons still unbeknownst to her. She still doesn't know how something like this could be possible, this had to be an elaborate nightmare of some kind. Rachel jumped out of bed as soon as she heard footsteps pounding on the stairs outside of her bedroom and quickly shot out of her bedroom door to lock herself in the bathroom. There was absolutely no way she would willingly confront her mother who had no business being here with her right now. As soon as she slammed the door shut, the knob began turning and Rachel made it a point to lock it as to keep the intruder on the opposite side of the door. "Don't come in, please don't come in! I-I'm not feeling well, please stay out." She called out weakly, her voice quivering with terror and anxiety.
"Rachel, I'm your mother. I've changed your diapers and I've seen you at your worst, there's nothing that's coming out of you that will make me love you any less. Let me check your forehead." Shelby replied, her fingers lightly rapping on the door as if that could convince Rachel to let her in. The singer blushed at the words that had been said to her but they also confused her. The first thing she remembered being told by her fathers was that she was adopted, that the surrogate had only intended to give the Berry men what they desperately craved and she would be out of Rachel's life forever. Only to have that stripped away from her when she contacted the younger girl before immediately pulling away from her with disinterest and ended up adopting her arch enemy's daughter that had been conceived through pre-marital shenanigans. It hurt her so badly thinking about it and she couldn't keep the hurt out of her voice despite the fact this Shelby wouldn't have a clue as to what she was feeling. "Don't worry about me. I'm a grown woman who is perfectly capable of handling this kind of situation on her own, just go. I'll be okay; I don't need your help." She replied, wiping away the tears that had formed. She couldn't believe this was happening, it was surreal and it just didn't seem quite right.
Shelby sighed, her concern for Rachel's well being infuriating and comforting Rachel at the same time. "Okay, well I hope it's nothing serious. Your mom and I certainly don't want you going to McKinley feeling ill, especially since it's your first day. We've got your schedule and breakfast smoothie ready to go. See you in a few minutes sweetie." Her words before she left struck Rachel hard like lightning, it burned and it left Rachel speechless for a moment before she forced herself to look in the mirror. She swallowed hard, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth in absolute shock. She looked younger than she did from days before, it was never too difficult to tell her age. Before the bangs, before she had dipped the ends of her hair in a pot of honey gold to keep up with the trends, before NYADA and Brody…she was back to being the old Rachel for real this time. She touched her face and she felt oddly powerful, as if she felt happier being her old self again. Something strange and mysterious happened to her and she wanted to know what and why. For some odd reason, it felt like she was being given a second chance to start all over again. While Rachel needed some time to figure things out, she had to put up a front to fit in because this universe was just too different to understand so far and she hadn't explored the world outside her former home yet.
Rachel sighed, took a few more deep breaths before deciding to go with the flow in order to analyze this strange situation. She was going to get dressed for her first day at McKinley apparently and although reliving her sophomore days in high school was an idea that she could hardly bear, she had to do it. She needed to see what had changed and what she needed to do to piece her old life back together again. First thing's first, she had to go downstairs and face whatever that was awaiting her in the dining room. Baby steps were important, right?
After what felt like an eternity, Rachel finally made her way downstairs and almost immediately, she wanted to vomit. Everything had changed; from the décor to the furniture and to the hundreds of portraits of their strange little family that somewhat reminded her of the previous life she had left behind. It was all so overwhelming and nauseating…
"Good morning, my little golden star. Did you wake up from another nightmare again or was there a spider in your room again? I told your mother to take care of that little problem after the incident in our bedroom the other night." Emma Pillsbury's voice had startled Rachel out of the brief trance she was under. There was no way her former high school guidance counselor could be talking to her like that, there was just absolutely no way. Rachel couldn't respond, she stared wide eyed as the red headed woman walked around her kitchen wearing a sexy satin robe to randomly run her fingers through Rachel's hair. Shelby had snuck up behind Emma and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's waist before pulling Emma close to her, kissing up the woman's neck until their lips met in a passionate kiss. Shelby Corcoran and Emma Pillsbury were making out in front of her. Emma Pillsbury and Shelby Corcoran were married and they were making out in front of her. Emma freakin' Pillsbury and Shelby Corcoran were her mothers, they were happily married and they were making out in front of her. "Oh my god, I need to get out of here." Rachel awkwardly blurted out, hoping that it didn't seem homophobic although she had gotten used to being around affectionate gay men who loved each other. Any teenager who had to witness their parents making out would want to gouge out their eyes; it was a completely normal reaction.
Emma and Shelby laughed affectionately, their noses rubbing against each other before the women reluctantly pulled away. Shelby had picked up a few important looking papers from the table and handed them to Rachel while the younger girl picked up her smoothie to down it as fast as she possibly could. This was too strange, she needed to be around her friends again, if they were still there. She needed Kurt more than anyone at that very moment. "Oh Rachel, just you wait until you find the woman you're meant to be with for the rest of your life and then you'll understand what it's like to be in love. Of course she would need our approval, you're too good for just anyone, honey." Shelby told her, kissing her on the forehead before leading Rachel out the front door. Rachel was stunned, as much as she wanted to laugh at Shelby's statement, the words felt comforting when it was in fact the strangest thing she'd ever heard in her life. She was strictly into men, how could Shelby assume her sexuality when she knew absolutely nothing about her?
Just as Rachel was about to reply, Emma had interrupted quite loudly and ran into the living room, turning up the volume of the television. "Shh, they're going to announce whether or not they'll recognize heterosexual marriage equality in Colorado!"
That sentence definitely seemed out of place, there was no way she could have heard that correctly, could she? As the three women gathered around the television set, they watched as the news anchor gave an in depth analysis of the situation and from what Rachel gathered from the man's tone of voice, he definitely did not approve of heterosexuality for reasons beyond her comprehension. What she heard within that ten minute segment shocked her to her very core. Colorado was going to be the first state in the country to formally recognize opposite sex civil unions as the bill that would completely legalize heterosexual marriage was still attempting to be passed. Rachel was appalled to say the least, that bit of news giving her quite the ugly reality check telling her that this world was no longer what she was once used to. She had remained silent during the car ride to school as she listened to Shelby and Emma(because using the term mothers still sounded way off to her) debating about heterosexual marriage. Shelby found it incredibly distasteful, using words such as "breeders", "straights", and "perverts" to describe people who were born straight while Emma was attempting to dissuade her. It felt so unreal, this just had to be a dream and Rachel was going to wake up from it soon. At least she'd hoped.
When they finally pulled into the parking lot, Shelby was still heated but when she turned to face Rachel who seemed uncomfortable in the back seat, her expression softened. "Rach, you're going to be just fine. You'll make a lot of friends, and with your talent, I'm sure you'll be attracting quite a few ladies with that powerful voice of yours so you go out there and strut your stuff babe. We'll see you at home. Good luck honey!" Shelby called out as Rachel got out of the car as quickly as she could. Rachel weakly waved goodbye as she turned to face destiny, hoping that all of that had just been a horrible figment of her imagination. As much as her experience in high school killed her, this could be the source of comfort she was looking for. She just needed to find Kurt, if she could.
She turned out to be horribly wrong about this entire situation being a figment of her imagination, it only turned out that this surreal experience was indeed her twisted reality, a reality she wasn't quite comfortable with. It was too bizarre. She walked towards the main entrance observing the students who walked past her, the teachers and how they behaved around each other. Jocks were holding hands, cheerleaders making out and petting one another underneath the bleachers and geeks, both the boys and girls, were shamelessly flirting with some of the metal heads and various other misfits that surrounded them. Rachel's jaw dropped at the sight; never before had McKinley had been this welcoming towards the gay community before. Perhaps policies have changed? When Rachel stopped by the dumpster where Kurt had constantly been tossed into the dumpster by Noah Puckerman, she noticed something oddly familiar about the students who stood nearby. There were two jocks sporting letterman jackets who were most obviously a couple by the way the blond male possessively draped his arm around the slightly smaller Hispanic boy who seemed to be blushing at the sign of public affection. Next to them stood a lanky misfit with an impressive pink Mohawk while he held somebody down, presumably somebody that they were about to throw into the dumpster.
Rachel gasped as she stepped closer to the group of familiar looking students, realizing the one that they had been holding down was Finn Hudson with crude marks being drawn all over his face by the girls who tagged along with the guys. The tallest of the girls was the mastermind of the operation, barking out orders at the exotic beauty with a Mohawk of her own who happily complied with what she was being told to do. The brunette carefully tossed her beautiful curly mane over her shoulder as she demanded to be given the marker so she could write one last thing on Finn's forehead: "BREEDER". She laughed along with the rest of her friends as she watched the misfit carelessly toss the gigantic seventeen year old into the dumpster. Rachel couldn't move. Her mouth remained agape as she watched the group walk away from their victim but not before they threw a slew of insults at him.
"Filthy hetero, you know better than to stare at Kristine's tits. Totes gross, dude bros. No offense, K."
"Breeders are so disgusting. Like this planet wasn't overpopulated enough. Your genes wouldn't be good enough for pussy anyway, retard."
"He's so straight, it's wrong. Aren't all straights going to end up rapists anyway because they can't get what they want from us normal folk? Fuck, we gotta stick together. People like him make me fuckin' sick."
They had completely missed the fact that Rachel had witnessed the entire scene and the group continued making their way to the school. As soon as she could, Rachel ran to where Finn had been carelessly dumped and her heart broke at the sound of Finn's crying. The petite singer climbed the dumpster, hoping to reach the young boy easily. When Finn looked up, he flinched when he saw that Rachel had outstretched her arm. When he assessed that it was okay to grab a hold of her hand, he hesitated for a moment before he went for it. Rachel held on tight as she pulled and he pushed his way out. "That was so wrong of them. I don't understand why they would do that to you. Are you okay, Finn?" Finn was adjusting himself before he tilted his head in confusion, narrowing his eyes at Rachel suspiciously.
"I'm sorry, but do I know you? I don't think I've seen you around here before and I'm a junior here." His voice lacked the confidence it had once upon a time, it wasn't right. Rachel resisted the urge to cry as she remembered that this was no longer the universe she had been so familiar with before. This was her chance to start over. Rachel eyed the markings on his arms and pointed at a particular crude message that said "Finn Hudson is a straight rapist. Beware!"
"I'm assuming that is your name, correct? Look, I-I just transferred here and it's my first day but I couldn't help but notice that you were in trouble. Now, are you okay? Do you know why they did this to you?" Rachel replied impatiently, folding her arms as she demanded an immediate response. It killed her when Finn seemed genuinely surprised that somebody would lend him a hand. He bit his lip, shaking his head at the tiny girl who had yet to be tainted by the community. "Since you're new, I'll spare your reputation. If they see you talking to me, you'll be next on their list and it wouldn't be fair of me to drag you down with me. This is my life, it's my fault for being different so you go your way and take it easy. Thanks for you help." He mumbled awkwardly as he turned to face the direction of where the entrance was and walked towards the school with his head down in shame. Rachel's heart shattered to pieces. What had happened to Kurt in his previous life was happening to Finn yet no matter if the roles were reversed, it must have been equally painful to face this kind of prejudice everyday. Rachel hated this, she didn't want to see the people she cared about suffering the way she did and the way Kurt had. They didn't deserve this. She was going to get to the bottom of this and put a stop to suffering of any kind. She braced herself by puffing out her chest and bravely followed Finn into McKinley.
Classes had come and gone easily without a hitch, Rachel already knew she was going to excel academically as she once did a few years before this incident occurred. What she wasn't expecting was the positive attention she would be receiving from her fellow classmates, the female student population to be more precise. As she walked around wearing her blazer, short skirt, typical knee highs and Mary Jane's with her books pressed tightly against her chest, some of the girls that had walked past her wolf whistled at her. It was unnerving yet…flattering at the same time. Rachel blushed and looked away when one of the Cheerios met her gaze and licked her lips. The nerve of some people! She did end up making some interestingly familiar acquaintances in some of her classes, like Tyler Cohen-Chang and his boyfriend Artie who was not in a wheelchair. It terrified Rachel for a minute. She wanted nothing more than to embrace these people who were her friends in a previous life but only the exact opposite of who they were. She felt the urge to vomit and cry uncontrollably several times throughout the day but in the end, she knew she had to stay strong.
"Berry, thanks for your help in Biology. If you need anything, I'll be happy to lend a hand in any way or if you need a detailed tour of the school, I'm your girl. See you at lunch! You can sit with Jenna Puckerman and Marley, her girlfriend, and I." Devin Karofsky told her, placing her perfectly manicured hand on Rachel's shoulder. Devin was a stunning young athletic girl who claimed her prowess as a lacrosse player. Unlike Dave who had bombarded Rachel and the former gleeks with Big Quench slushies, his female counterpart was gentle and approachable. She was very flirtatious as well it seemed, or maybe that was just Rachel overcompensating her kindness. "Yeah, thank you for everything you've done for me, I really appreciate it. See you later, Karofsky." She replied playfully, blushing when Devin grinned and reluctantly walked away from the younger girl. Rachel shook off the fluttering of the butterflies in her stomach, she couldn't believe that it was so much easier making friends in this universe. For once, she wasn't being bullied and it felt nice to be normal. The excitement she felt from looking forward to her lunch date immediately plummeted when she heard a commotion in the hallway.
She craned her neck to see what was happening and almost immediately, her heart dropped at the sight. The tall brunette she had seen earlier was tormenting Finn once more with the same familiar group of friends. They had him cornered against the lockers as the exotic beauty with the Mohawk poured grape flavored slush down his shirt after he had just cleaned up earlier. "Norah Puckerman you fabulous bitch, let me have a go at him. I don't believe the breeder's learned his lesson yet." The head of the group drawled, playing with her curls before she took the big quench cup from Norah's hands. As the brunette prepared to pour the slushie down Finn's jeans, Rachel saw red and hurried over to his side. Nobody would have ever defended Rachel in her past life but she wasn't about to let anyone suffer the way she had to for years. When the tallest girl of the group looped her finger around one of Finn's belt loops, Rachel charged at the girl. "Hey, hey! Leave him alone, what did he ever do to offend you!" She cried out angrily, pushing Finn behind her as she slapped the cup away from the cruel girl's hand. She was breathing hard, sending a death glare at the group of friends who had been standing by and laughing at Finn.
Rachel realized who they all were as she heard their names a few times from typical gossipers. They all held the same look they once possessed in her other life but they were still the same. It made her feel uneasy but they were bullying Finn and that was not okay.
Brent S. Pierce was on the hockey team while his boyfriend, Santiago Lopez, played football for McKinley. Norah Puckerman and Quinton Fabray were hooligans who seemed out of place in but they were clearly accepted into the group. Now all Rachel had to do was figure out who the girl standing before her was.
"What the actual cum guzzling fuck? Listen girl, who the hell do you think are? This is Donna Karan! Stick your –"The brunette had cut herself off while she had been trying to wipe some of grape slushy off of her expensive clothes. When she looked up to stare heatedly into Rachel's eyes, something clicked within the petite singer as she met her intense gaze. Those familiar piercing blue eyes softened, the brunette giving Rachel a once over and Rachel doing the same as if they were sizing each other up. The corners of the other girl's lips created such a dazzling effect when she smiled, her strong jaw and prominent features reminding her so much of…Kurt! Rachel stood protectively in front of Finn with her arms stretched out on either side, but she wasn't quite as angry as she should have been. "Leave him alone. You have a problem with him, you have a problem with me." Rachel said quietly, desperately trying to resist the urge to cry. She couldn't believe that this was who Kurt had become. It couldn't be him, she just had to be mistaken.
The taller brunette looked concerned for a minute, glancing back at her friends before turning her attention back to Rachel. "You must be new around here otherwise I would have recognized that outfit before. Listen, this isn't your problem, this is between myself and the filthy breeder you're protecting. You're lucky to be receiving this warning because if that outfit wasn't hot and you totally weren't rocking it, you'd suffer some pretty ugly consequences. I'm going to ask you politely to back off just this once because there's no real reason for you to act like a total martyr on his behalf." The brunette told Rachel firmly, stepping even closer to the smaller girl.
Rachel looked up and tried to ignore the voices inside of her head screaming that this was Kurt who was telling her off. She couldn't help but piece together their faces as they were far too similar. The older girl seemed as if she was athletic as well, showing off excellent muscular arms just as Kurt had when he wore sleeveless tees on his off days. It would completely tear her apart if this was who Kurt had become in this bizarre, twisted universe. 'It can't be him, it can't be him. Please don't let this be him!' She thought frantically to herself. "I hate to disappoint you but Finn Hudson is a human being and for you to dehumanize him in front of my peers is completely unacceptable. He's been kind to me while you and your friends have been doing nothing but terrorizing him. If you so choose to show me the same treatment, it'll only make me that much more determined to stop you because I can assure you I've been through what he's gone through if not worse. Go ahead and do your worst." Rachel replied, ignoring Finn's whispered words of "It's okay, I can put it up with it. Don't do this to yourself."
"Hummel! Care to explain why you're harassing Rachel Berry when she just barely transferred to this school? If you're sexually frustrated, there's no real reason for you to be taking it out on someone who's too good for you." Devin roared as she rallied up the lacrosse team to support Rachel's noble cause. Devin glared at Kristine for what felt like a lifetime until the brunette finally stepped down. The singer had to bite her tongue, to keep from crying out after discovering that this was her best friend. Rachel looked up at her new friend with newfound appreciation and Devin offered her a small smile before turning her attention back to Kristine.
"Fuck, you don't have to shout, I'm standing right here you know. Fine, fine, whatever. I'll spare the newbie for now but Hudson is on my shit list. The filthy hetero was staring at my tits and it made me uncomfortable. I'm not saying I overreacted but I have a temper. You best keep your friend in check, whatever your name is." Kristine said pointedly at Rachel before she disappeared into the crowd along with her friends. Norah Puckerman grinned at the petite singer before she leaned over and whispered, "That skirt is totes crunchy toast." Rachel shivered at the whispered words, watching as the girl rushed over to catch up with her friends.
Devin and her friends turned to face Finn and Rachel, a moment of silence creeping up the entire hallway before cheers erupted around them. "Damn Berry, that was ballsy. I turn my back for one minute and you're already fucking shit up for the Head Asshole in Charge. I taught you well." She said, patting Rachel on the back affectionately but Rachel paid no mind to Devin. She wanted to make sure Finn was okay first.
"Will you be okay? I'm so sorry you had to have that happen to you."
"I uh…yeah, I'll be okay. Don't worry about it. I have an emergency outfit in my locker. Nobody's ever done that for me. Thank you." He quietly said, smiling before he grabbed his book bag and emptied out the rest of the contents in his locker. A dark skinned young girl made an appearance alongside of Finn while a pretty brunette stood beside him on the opposite side. "Dev, we'll help him clean up. Let's chill at the bleachers for lunch today." With that said, both girls escorted a confused but totally willing Finn Hudson into the nearest restroom.
"I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't showed up. I can't believe things like that happen around here. Does it occur often?" Rachel asked as she walked besides Devin towards the cafeteria after the crowd had dispersed. The lacrosse player nodded sadly, hooking her arm through Rachel's protectively in case those d-bags decided to show up again. "Unfortunately, but since you're new here, you're totally excused for not knowing what kind of shit's been going down since they crowned Kristine Hummel as the Head Cheerio. It's kind of a long story if you don't mind hearing it."
As hard as it was for Rachel to hear what kind of monster Kurt has become since becoming the royal queen of McKinley, she swallowed her pride and nodded in Devin's direction. She was afraid if she spoke again, she'd end up a hysterical crying mess. She needed to know everything that there was to know about this place before she could figure out how to go back to where belonged. "Tell me everything." She breathed.
All mistakes are my own as this fic is unbeta'd.
