Oh my God, I'm so thrilled at all the reviews and alerts and favorites I got. You guys are amazing. I'm really glad that this random and uncommon idea of mine caught your interest. So far most of you have no idea what happened to Damon and you're dying to find out the truth. You will, but not quite yet. First of all I had to get Elena's reaction to Damon being awake again out of the way. After that explanation time will come, I promise. So, sorry if this chapter seems kind of pointless and sorry if the medical things bore you or if I managed to screw up the medical terms in English but… I kind of like the medical stuff, so you'll have to suffer through it. But in exchange I put some Delena banter in here as well. Hope you like it. Oh, and you shouldn't take this too seriously, somewhere along the way it became more and more ridiculous. I couldn't help it. This story won't be heavy on plot, it's meant to be happy and light and simply fun.

Oh, and… I couldn't stop myself from stealing a small scene from Stargate SG-1 for this one. I didn't take it word for word; it's more of a homage to the unique Colonel Jack O'Neill humor than anything else… props to anyone who detects it.


Chapter Two

Check-Up

"I knew you'd wake up some day. I knew it. You'd never leave me. Oh Damon," Elena sobbed and laughed at the same time, her hands around his neck nearly suffocating him.

Damon closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. He had a million questions running through his head at once… but the answers could wait. For now he'd simply revel in Elena's presence by his side.

They stayed like that for what could have been hours, neither of them noticing Leslie silently leaving the room and closing the door firmly behind her.

In the hall she encountered Linus bouncing up and down in excitement, his parents standing not far behind and nearly as eager to get into the room as the kid.

But Leslie shooed them off. "Just give them some time, will you?" she smiled. "You can welcome your hero back later."

Damon heard her words through the shut door (vampire-hearing as good as ever) and his confusion grew just another notch.

He, a hero? What the hell had he missed?


Damon's fingers itched. In fact his whole being itched; he wanted to grab Elena and hold her closer to him. Even though the way she was half-draped over his chest with her face buried in the crook of his neck had to be the closest she'd ever come to him before.

But at the same time he wanted to push her off, he wanted to jump off the bed and stretch his rusted body.

Damon could feel his strength returning gradually and the newly awakened muscles twitched and coiled, ready to spring into action again. His nostrils flared when he deeply inhaled the scent emanating from Elena's hair, shampoo and something sweeter, and Damon finally gave in and lifted his hand to card it softly through her hair.

"Elena," he let out, throat still sore and dry. He coughed a little.

Elena's head shot up and she stared at him in panic.

"Oh my God, Damon," she gasped and her eyes flew over his body. "I'm so sorry! Am I crushing you? Are you in pain? Where does it hurt? Can you talk? Can you see me? Are you feeling dizzy? Nauseous? What? Can you tell me?"

"Whoa! Slow down," Damon tried to stop her ramblings.

Elena's hands came up to caress his face and she stroked the hair back from his forehead. "I don't think you have a temperature, you're not hot, but…"

"Oh, that's so not true," Damon took hold of her hands. "You know I'm hot."

The familiar smirk in his voice brought Elena up short. She stopped in her tracks and stared at the face that she'd become more familiar with than anybody else's over the last few years.

She'd memorized all of it to the brim; the sharp angles of his jaw, the delicate curve of his eyebrows with the long dark lashes underneath, his full lips…

But all this time what she'd really wanted to see, what she'd silently prayed for every night, had never been there. Damon's eyes, clear blue and open and aware, with that unique spark in them that used to make her uncomfortable and edgy…

God, how she'd missed his eyes on her!

She wanted nothing more than to stare into their depths forever but she knew she had to focus on the task at hand.

"Damon," she scolded but the smile never left her eyes. "Stop messing around. I need to check you out."

Damon's smirk grew wider. "Anytime, baby!" His voice grew steadier with every word he got out and he also managed to hoist himself up on his elbows without much effort. He scooted up to lean against the headboard. Arms folded behind his head he winked at her.

Elena swatted at his chest lightly. "If you're able to crack jokes like that I guess you're okay. But I'm still gonna check you out… medically!"

"I'm fine, Elena. You don't have to…" Damon broke off when he noticed her reach for something on the bedside table. It looked sharp and pointy. Damon backed away and eyed her suspiciously. "What do you think you're doing? You're not gonna stick that anywhere inside of me!"

"Damon, it's just a thermometer!"

"I'm a vampire, Elena! We don't get fevers!" Damon's eyes flew from the instrument in her hand up to her face.

"Oh, really?" Elena raised an eyebrow at him. "I guess I was just imagining it then when you were burning up all those times, huh? Now don't be a baby, it's not gonna hurt!"

"I bet you say that to all the guys," Damon murmured but let her stick the thermometer into his ear. Two seconds later it beeped and Elena pulled it out again.

"No temperature," she said and put it back onto the table. "Good."

"I told you so," Damon smirked.

"Oh yes, and you're an expert on it, aren't you?" Elena's eyes blazed with a sudden fierceness. "I bet you know everything about magically induced comas that last for more than five years and just won't lift no matter what you try. You know all about getting blood into that stubborn ass of a vampire that seems for all intents and purposes dead to the world he's just saved with his dumb act!"

Damon stared shell-shocked at Elena's furious face. Tears had started to stream down her cheeks again and she angrily wiped them away.

"Elena," he whispered softly and took hold of her hands.

"Let me go, I need to check… I need," she choked and tried to pull her hands free. But Damon held her in a strong grip.

"Elena, look at me," Damon commanded. "I'm fine."

"You don't know that! You're not a doctor, I am! And I have to…"

"I'm fine," he repeated, determined to get through to her. Damon let go of her shaking hands, took hold of her face and forced her chin up to look at him. "I am fine," he emphasized every word.

Their eyes met and finally Elena broke down. A sob escaped her trembling lips and she sagged down onto his chest once more.

"You're fine," Elena's voice was nothing but a choked whisper. All the tension seemed to leave her stressed-out body at once. The feeling of utter helplessness she'd lived with for years, the worry about him, everything just drained away and her limp form shook with sobs. "You really are. Oh Damon, I can't… I'm…"

"Shhht," Damon soothed her. His hands stroked her back and he leaned down to place soft kisses onto her hair. "It's okay. I'm okay, Elena. Everything's gonna be okay now."

"Yes," Elena whispered into the fabric of his shirt. "Everything's okay now."


Damon would have been happy to stay like this forever, Elena curled up in his arms, her head resting in the crook of his elbow, her breath ghosting over the hairs on his forearm, making them stand on end, and simply watch her sleep for a change.

But eventually his curiosity won out; not to mention his eagerness to get out of the bed he'd apparently spent years in. More than five years she'd said earlier!

It couldn't be, could it?

Damon had trouble wrapping his mind around it. He looked down at Elena again. It couldn't be that five years had passed without him noticing, right? To him she seemed exactly like the last time he'd seen her!

Damon needed to get out of the bed, now. He needed to find answers damn it! He lifted Elena off his chest, careful so as not to rouse her, and placed her oblivious form beside him. Then he shifted to the edge and swung his feet to the ground.

With one last look back at her Damon stood up – and crashed face-first to the ground when his weak legs gave out under him.

"Shit!"

Elena bolted upright in bed. "Damon?"

Her eyes flew around and found him crumbled on the floor. She gasped and was by his side in a heartbeat. If he didn't know any better Damon would have thought she'd moved with vampire-speed.

"Damon," Elena gasped and knelt down next to him. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Getting reacquainted with the floor, obviously." He rolled onto his back and stared up at her.

That's when he really noticed her looks for the first time.

Damon's eyes narrowed and he sat up, cocking his head to the side. "What happened… to your hair?"

"I, excuse me?" Elena stemmed her fists into her sides. "Five years in a coma and the first thing you wanna know is what happened to my hair?"

"I…" Damon knew it was ridiculous. There were a million questions on the tip of his tongue, each of them more pressing than the obvious difference in Elena's looks. Still, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. "Yes, what happened to your hair?"

"I had it cut, that's what happened," Elena snapped, annoyed that he wouldn't let it go.

Damon rolled his eyes as if to say 'duh'. He looked at the brown tresses that framed her beautiful face in different lengths before they ended right on her shoulders but didn't go beyond like he remembered, he took in the golden highlights and decided there and then that he liked it. The new look gave Elena an air of womanhood that she hadn't possessed before. He remembered the girl but now he was staring into the face of a woman. A decidedly pissed-off woman, that is.

Damon shrugged and tried to get up from the ground. Elena watched him struggle for a second or two before she let out a sigh, got up and walked around to stand behind him. Her arms came around his chest and with a strength he hadn't known she possessed Elena pulled him up and dumped him back onto the bed.

"Now you stay there, mister, or else…"

"Or else what?" Damon couldn't help but smirk suggestively. He sat back against the headboard and crossed his feet at the ankles. His arms crossed behind his head. This now felt much better than the hard floor and for once Damon was content to listen to Elena's advice. Not that he'd tell her that.

Elena bent over him. "I'm not above tying you down, you know?"

"Ooohh, kinky," Damon's eyes gleamed at the prospect.

That earned him a smack on the chest. Damon stayed silent but watched Elena turn around to fuss with some sort of machine that he only noticed now standing next to his bed.

It looked like some sort of hook-up for an i.v. with a blood bag dangling from it, but the cord didn't simply hang down. It disappeared in some kind of plastic case with buttons and numbers on it. There was a small display as well and when Elena punched in some numbers a bright green '175' blinked up on it.

The cord or tube or whatever appeared on the underside of the display again and Damon watched Elena pick it up before she pressed another button.

A soft beeping sound could be heard and then the machine suddenly sprang to life. Damon watched, fascinated, when the blood slowly but steadily crept down the cord and towards the end Elena was holding between her fingers. Soon enough the air in the cord had been replaced by blood and Elena turned towards him again, the fully red cord outstretched in front of her.

"What's that?" Damon finally asked.

Elena sat down on the edge of the bed. "You're weak…"

"I'm not weak!" Damon groused.

Elena raised an eyebrow. "Says the vampire that just kissed the floor because his knees gave out." She took a deep breath and continued: "You need to feed, Damon. It's been twelve hours since your last dose, so…"

Damon's eyebrows shot up in confusion. "My last dose? What do you mean? How did you… is that some kind of drinking automat? Are you gonna stuff that down my throat or do you expect me to simply suck it?" He warily eyed the end of the cord Elena was holding.

The corners of Elena's mouth twitched and she had to hold back the reply that sprang to the tip of her tongue. Damon surely hadn't realized the double meaning in his last comment. Under different circumstances Elena would have called him on it, she would have had no qualms asking just how experienced he was with things stuffed down his throat and sucking them…

But not now.

So Elena simply cleared her throat and explained patiently: "That's not how it works. This is an automated PEG pump. Do you know what a PEG is?"

Damon lifted an eyebrow. "A Perpetually Easy Girl? I wouldn't mind one of those."

"Mind out of the gutter, Damon, now," Elena advised sternly. "A PEG is a Percutanic Endoscopic Gastrostomy. It's a medical device, a method to provide constant nourishment to people who can't swallow food, unconscious people, those in a coma and such." Elena noticed Damon's frown and send him a soft smile. "Here, I'll show you."

The cord in one hand Elena placed the other on Damon's abdomen and started pulling his shirt up. Damon watched her small hand, he felt heat creep into his body from her soft touch, but the lewd comment died on his lips as soon as she'd pulled the fabric high enough for him to take a look at his stomach.

"What the hell is that?"

Damon stared in shock at the small translucent elastic tube protruding from a button right above his navel.

"Calm down," Elena put a hand onto his bare stomach and Damon inhaled sharply. "It doesn't hurt, does it? That's what I meant. It's your end of the PEG. This goes there, see," she pulled off the plugs from the ends of both cords and connected them with sure hands. Damon could only stare on in shock. Elena briefly turned back to the machine, pressed yet another button and suddenly the cord coming from his belly was slowly filled up with blood.

Damon watched the red liquid travel up until it vanished inside of him. He waited for some sort of sensation, pain or at least a queasiness of some sort, but when nothing happened his eyes eventually drifted up to stare at Elena.

"See," she smiled back at him, "there you go. It's easy like that."

Damon needed a few moments to find his voice. "Okay, I've seen what it does. Now shut it off again."

"What? No, Damon. You need to…"

"Shut it off, Elena!" Damon growled. His eyes suddenly darkened visibly and before Elena knew what was happening he'd closed his hand firmly around the cord and pulled with all the strength he could muster.

"No," Elena cried and tried to stop him.

Damon swatted her hands away. "Arrrgh!" he growled and, one hand flat on his stomach, he ripped the cord from his body.

Flesh tore with a sickening noise and then there was blood everywhere.

"Are you insane?" Elena cried and stared at the hole in Damon's stomach. Her hands came up to stop the blood from seeping out but before she'd even pressed them down she realized that the wound had already closed itself again.

The elastic cord dangled from Damon's fingers and he threw it away with a grunt. "Thank God!"

Elena raised her hand and slapped him across the cheek. "Are you insane, Damon? You could have…"

Before she had finished the sentence the door suddenly burst open and several people spilled into the room, nearly tripping over each other in their haste to get inside.

"What's wrong?" they all cried in unison.

Elena turned her back on Damon and stared at them instead. Damon's gaze followed hers. His eyes swept from the foreign woman he'd seen before (Leslie, wasn't it?), to the other three adults he saw gaping at him now.

Elena's brother Jeremy didn't look much different as he stared down at Damon open-mouthed and ready to attack. Okay, he seemed older, more mature, but other than that… he was still the same pale-faced, hot-tempered boy Damon remembered.

Rick… well, his hair was a bit longer and he'd grown a beard. Other than that… same old history teacher ready and more than willing to kick whatever vampire ass was there to kick.

Damon's eyes went over to Jenna. She'd changed quite a bit, he noticed immediately. Her hair was shorter and it had the same highlights Elena had put in hers. She wore light make-up that complimented her and brought out her shining blue-green eyes. But the special glow Damon detected in them could just as well be coming from the fact that she was highly pregnant. Her swollen stomach looked as if it would burst any moment.

Damon thought she'd never looked more stunning.

Being done with his inspection of them all Damon's lips curled and he shot them his trademark smirk. "Hel-lo there, nice to see you all." He raised an eyebrow. "Care to tell me what you're all doing here?"

"We, we heard Elena scream and thought…" Jenna broke off and looked at Rick for support.

"We thought… we wanted to check up on you," Rick finished and scrunched up his face as if to say 'God knows why though, it's not like we care about you'.

Damon's smirk grew. "That's so nice of you. But… why are you here in the first place? Last time I checked this was my house."

All eyes fell onto Elena then. "You, you didn't tell him?"

"Tell me what?"

"I," Elena threw a quick sheepish look at Damon before her eyes traveled to her family once again. "I didn't get that far yet. We haven't gotten past the opening credits. I guess the whole plot is still to come."

"Elena?" Damon sat up straight and placed a hand under her chin to turn her head his way. "What's that mean? What didn't you tell me?"

Elena let out a long sigh. She motioned for the others to get out again and when the door finally closed behind them she turned her attention to Damon again.

"Ugh, Damon," she fidgeted with her hands in her lap until Damon stopped her by taking them into his. "There's no easy way to tell you but…"

"But?" Damon growled impatiently. Whatever it was that she had to tell him, he knew he wouldn't like it.

"Well, the thing is… the boarding house… it's no longer yours. It's Rick's."

Now it was out. Elena took a deep breath and avoided Damon's eyes. That is, until she heard the first sounds of…

Laughter?

"Damon?" Elena stared at the vampire's face in shock. She'd never before heard him laugh so open and carefree. She'd seen him smirk, make fun of everyone around, had heard him chuckle, yes. But full-blown belly-deep laughter?

Never.

"Damon," Elena stared at him in stunned shock and realized with a start how much more gorgeous it made him look.

Tears steamed down his face, his eyes crinkled at the sides, and his mouth was twisted and left his cheeks and chin in the cutest dimples she'd ever seen.

Elena started laughing as well, she couldn't help it, although she had no idea what Damon was so utterly in joy over. But she didn't care. All she cared about for the moment was that he was awake and well and that she had him back.

Elena vowed to herself there and then that she'd never let him go again. And she also vowed that she'd make him laugh like this more often.

No matter what it would take.


TBC

I know, I know... still no explanation for what the hell happened to Damon. But it will come soon, I promise.