TWO

Ralph shut the window, and swore under his breath. He looked down outside, to the approaching lights. He had a few minutes to decide on an action. Such a stupid friend that he had, but also such a valid reason he had for his actions. His whiskey-stained scarf would not be of any benefit when the police questioned him; neither would his attempts at explaining himself. What else could he do besides meet Bert? There had to be a way to protect Lisa.

The police officers could watch her, but then he'd have to stay behind to answer all their questions. Bert's words prodded him now. "So, you're not strong enough to protect her?" How could he stay behind, knowing that Melissa was trying to avenge her niece, just as Bert was off to avenge his love? He felt sweat coming down his face. What was the best plan to escape?

Bang. He was jarred out of his thoughts by a wrapping at the front door downstairs. "Mr. Raccoon?" A voice said. His pulse raced. Ralph ran downstairs to see the silhouette of a rabbit in the doorway. He looked over to Lisa's body in the kitchen. The back door was unlocked. That would give him an escape route. When he escaped through that door, the cops would notice it, and he would have someone around to protect Lisa's body until the three came back. "Mr. Raccoon, I can hear you. Open the door." Ralph started to breathe heavily. His words to Bert were laughing at him. He was the one who was losing his wits now.

Ralph made for the back door. It was so hard to see the body of his niece, with those hideous blotches on her cheeks. Ralph tipped over a chair while trying to step over Lisa. The officer's silhouette vanished from the front of the door. His backup plan was now cut off. He thought about a last resort. The upstairs jump was too risky, so Ralph decided on his bedroom. Even if the officer tried to run in, he would be too late to catch Ralph.

His bedroom was dark. Not wanting to turn on the lights, he bumped into a chest at the foot of their bed. He noticed that it was opened. Inside, Ralph saw a small bottle labeled 'cold medicine'. This small bit of medicine would be better than nothing if he got sick ahead. Beside it was a small purse of Melissa's. Ralph slipped the medicine into it. "This is officer Bradley. We've got a homicide here." The officer was in the kitchen. The window was open, his last chance to slip out. Ralph pushed through most of the window, when his foot brushed against their bedside lamp. The resulting crash sent footsteps bearing down towards him.

"Mr. Raccoon!" The voice boomed out from behind him. Ralph escaped before Bradley could take hold of him. He knew the route to the meeting place he and Bert had agreed on. He ran for it, clutching the small purse for dear life. At least Lisa was safe now.

He saw the figure of another raccoon up ahead. Bert was waiting by a tree. "Ralph..." Bert waved his hands. "What happened?"

"Never mind. They'll probably be after us soon." Bert's eyes widened at hearing this.

"What did you do?"

"Lisa's safe now. That's all you need to know."

Bert chuckled. "You're looking dashing, I must say." He pointed to Ralph's purse.

"Here." Ralph handed Bert a few capsules of medicine.

"I don't need this..." Bert said, studying the capsules for a second before dropping them into his backpack.

"I've gotta tell you something, Bert..." The two had been walking for half an hour. Bert looked ahead, at the fork in the road. One path lead to the left, and the other to the right.

"It's about Lisa." Bert stopped.

Birds were chirping, giving the forest an almost dreamlike quality. In the back of his mind Bert wished that it was a dream, and that the wind rustling through the trees would wake him up. "What about her?"

"Bert, there's another reason Lisa was coming over tonight. She was-" Ralph stopped. The raccoon was looking at him.

Bert was looking at a group of fallen sticks by the base of the large tree. "I was going to propose to her tonight..." Bert cut him off.

"The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn't say 'em. Now she'll never know."

Ralph's mouth was opened slightly, as if he was trying to speak. He noticed a single flower by the tree, growing despite the sticks around it. "You're wrong, Bert."

Bert saw a group of birds at the top of the large tree. "What?" He said.

The birds suddenly took flight, and Ralph stopped. "Did you hear that?"

"What're you doing?" Bert said. Ralph crouched. He put his finger to his lips, and Bert hid behind a bush.

"What is it?" Bert whispered.

"What?" Ralph said.

"I said, 'What is it'?" Bert said in a louder voice.

Ralph put his finger to his lips again. "There's something over there..." Ralph said. Bert saw one of Cyril's pigs walking near a large tree by the forked road. It seemed odd for him to be without his two brothers.

The pig looked sickly. He stopped by the tree to cover his mouth, then spit onto the ground. "Wonder what he's doin' out here." Bert moved out from behind the tree. He couldn't show his angry side to the pig; it would just ruin his chance to get some info about Sneer.

Ralph waved his hands, trying to tell Bert to stop, but it was no use. Bert walked over to the pig. "What's wrong, little buddy?" Bert asked.

The pig wiped his mouth. "It's nothing..." He said.

"Come on, Floyd. You can tell me!" Bert said.

"It's Boyd!" Boyd said. "Well..." Boyd removed a tin from his shirt pocket. Bert felt a sinking sensation in his gut. The tin in his pocket started to burn.

"I was looking for these tickets."

Bert reached into his pocket and showed Boyd the small yellow ticket. "You mean, like this one Cyril made?"

"I'll take that!" Boyd shouted, reaching for the ticket. He snatched the ticket from Bert and ran into a thicket.

"Get back here!" Bert shouted. As Bert started to run, he felt a sharp tugging at his leg. He fell to the ground.

Bert looked behind him to see Floyd, holding a rope. "Bert!" Ralph shouted. He rushed out of the bush to help Bert. Bert watched as a rope came down from a tree, to wrap itself around Ralph's leg. So it was a trap...

Ralph tried to free himself, but fell against a rock. Bert heard a popping sound, followed by a scream. The two were in trouble.

"Let's go, Boyd!" Lloyd shouted. Lloyd jumped down from a nearby tree, loosening the rope on Ralph.

"You idiot! You broke his leg!" Boyd said.

"Don't blame me! You were the one with the plan!" Lloyd shot back.

The three headed for their motorbike. "All that matters is that we've got the ticket! Now let's go find the others!" Floyd said. Bert tried to catch them, but they were too fast. Now, at least, he had confirmed that the tickets came from Sneer. Time to press on.

A minute later, Bert walked back and surveyed the damage. Ralph's leg looked to be in bad shape. His friend could walk, but not without considerable effort. Ralph rested on a tree, his back to Bert.

Bert put a hand on Ralph's shoulder. "So... Guess I shoulda listened..." Silence.

"I'm gonna try to set your leg back. Hold still." Ralph grit his teeth as Bert put one hand on the back of his leg. Ralph winced.

"Don't touch it, Bert! I can manage on my own." Ralph said. He wrapped his scarf around the injury.

"We gotta get goin'! Come on, Ralph!" Bert said.

"You know what, Bert? I'm tired of your games!" Ralph shouted. There was anger in his words. "If you would've listened to me, then we wouldn't be stuck like this!" Ralph tried to stand. Bert went over to him to help him up, but was pushed back.

"I already lost my niece today, and I'm not losin' my wife 'causa your games, Bert!"

"Ralph! Wait!" Bert said. Ralph was ignoring him. He continued to lumber forward, toward the left path in the road.

"You said something earlier about some other reason for Lisa coming over?" Ralph stopped and looked back at Bert.

Ralph's eyes were calm, almost serene, as he spoke. "Lisa was going to propose to you tomorrow."

Something stirred inside Bert. "How do you know?" He asked.

"Melissa told me." Ralph turned back and continued on the path.

"Ralph!" Bert shouted.

He had failed. He had failed to protect his love, he had failed to protect his friends, and now he was alone again. His head lowered, he felt like sobbing. Bert wiped his eyes, and noticed the lone flower by the large tree. He knelt down and plucked it. It seemed to draw him in, in to simpler times, times when he was happy. The flower set off so many memories in him, memories that he would never get to share with her again.


Crickets gave a special warmth to any night at Evergreen Lake. Tonight, these crickets were playing for two raccoons who were wrapped in each other's arms, gazing up at the moon. She nestled into him, and he with his arms around her. Both of them knew that morning would come to ruin this moment and they would have given anything to extend the night.

"You know she'll be looking for us..." Lisa said as Bert reassured her with a kiss. She giggled and sat up. Moonlight reflected off the lake, creating a foggy reflection of two individuals who seemed fated for each other.

Lisa started to check her hair and tuck her shirt in. "Mom's always like that. She'll never let up... Probably got Bentley looking for us."

Bert sat up. The two looked into the lake for another minute. Bert stood up to put on his sweater, which the two had used to sit on. Bert felt Lisa's arms closing in on him before he could pull his hands through the sleeves. She was pressing into his back, and she leaned in to whisper in his ear. "Will you-" Lights came on across the lake, and Lisa crouched down, in an attempt to stay hidden.

"What?" Bert adjusted his shirt and crouched down, seeing the lights.

Bert crept up beside her on all fours, and ran his fingers along her back. "Stop it, Bert!" She put a hand to her mouth.

"Will I what?" He started tickling her. "Come on, tell me!"

"Nothing!" She was smiling. Even in the moonlight, her eyes beamed. "You'll find out soon enough..."


After traveling for a few miles, Bert caught his breath in a wooded area outside the gates of Sneer Mansion. Ralph was nowhere to be found. The sounds of the night reminded him of Lisa. The owl's hooting questioned who killed her, and the twigs breaking nearby were Ralph's broken bones. He kept hearing Ralph's words in his head.

He'd been through too much. She'd been through too much. He'd put Ralph and Melissa through too much. Ralph was right in planning things out. His old friend waited in the bush, calm and reserved, ready to put his plan into action.

That's what Bert needed; a plan. He would prove to Ralph that he could help both of them. He heard a squeaking sound up ahead. Bert ducked down, as he had seen Ralph do, and moved toward a bush.

"Hurry!" A voice said.

"I think that's all of them, Lloyd!" Boyd said.

Bert peeked in to see what they were doing. "Count again! I'm not going back to the boss without those tickets!" Lloyd said. The trio was messing up the entry code at the front gate of Sneer Mansion.

"Never mind the ti-" Boyd leaned out of the motorbike and hacked up a long string of dark phlegm. "I need to get to bed!"

The pig's face was pale, in contrast to his brothers'. Bert saw the phlegm's color. No, it wasn't... He had to move fast if he wanted to get in. He analyzed the area around the gate; the motorbike was a stone's throw away, while the pigs were closer. One of them would have to manually open the gate, meaning he'd be the one out of the motorbike.

Bert slowed his breath as he picked up a rock. Timing was key. His heart pulsed as he focused his aim on Lloyd's head.