~AN~ Proof that reviews, like the first officer, are magic: forty minutes ago, none of this existed. Then I saw the first chapter had some reviews! I'm so easy to motivate ;) Thank you, mrspencil and DeleaMarie! This is quite fun, actually...


BERNE BELP

It was the fastest cup of tea Arthur Shappey had ever produced. For a man already known for his excitable disposition, he had perhaps outdone himself today in his eagerness to get back into the room. Douglas was not convinced the kettle had been given enough time to reach boiling point, and the tea was looking suspiciously watery, as if, say, a teabag had only been fleetingly introduced into its life before being cruelly snatched away.

"Anything?" Arthur asked, excitedly, placing Douglas's mug down so firmly on his desk that some of the offending liquid splashed onto the first officer's shirt sleeve.

"Despite your prolonged absence, Arthur, no, there's been no news in any of the seventy-five whole seconds you missed." Douglas dabbed at the tea on his shirt with a tissue, shooting the young steward a slightly disdainful look.

"Sorry, Douglas! I'm just—so excited!"

"You're certainly masking it very well." Douglas grinned at him. "Not that I blame you. It is rather – now, what's the word? Begins with a B, I believe…"

"Brilliant. Completely brilliant."

"That's it."

Douglas's phone was on his desk, propped up by a pile of seldom-opened manuals, ready to be snatched up and answered immediately when there was news to be known. So far, since Martin's first panicked phone call the day before, it had remained stubbornly silent.

The door to the portakabin opened again and Carolyn entered, closely followed by Herc, who was carrying two recyclable, steaming cups of coffee.

"Morning, Douglas," said Carolyn, in her usual tone of cheeriness mixed with potential rage energy. "I sincerely hope there has been no news, because if I find out that you already know something and didn't phone me immediately to pass it on, you'll be introduced to a world of pain."

"Nothing yet," Douglas confirmed, smiling slightly at the thought of Carolyn – Carolyn – being quite so possessive about news of the imminent arrival. "Is it espresso day today? I missed the company memo." He looked pointedly at Herc's cupholding display.

"Oh, Douglas, don't tell me you let Arthur make you tea," Carolyn said in disbelief. "Today? Surely you didn't expect to end up with something palatable when he's this excited?"

Douglas masked the fact that this hadn't occurred to him with a wry smile and a sneery, "Arthur's always excited, and besides, it's lovely." He took a large swig of his supposed tea, wishing he hadn't before, during and after the action. "Lovely." He repeated, somewhat less convincingly.

Arthur was still moving around the room at an alarming speed. "Why are you all not excited? We're getting a baby Skip!"

Herc chuckled at him. "We are excited, Arthur…but if we were all doing what you're doing we'd break some furniture. We'll let you carry on demonstrating the physical reality of our collective inner excitement, if it's all the same to you."

Arthur didn't bat an eyelid. "Brilliant!"

"And, technically speaking, we are not getting a baby Skip," Carolyn added gently. "I hate to remind you again, dear heart, but Martin and Theresa are the ones who are really getting a baby Skip… of course we'll be visiting, but we're not going to get to see him or her all the time…"

Her son laughed at this clearly preposterous suggestion. "Mum! Don't be silly, we've got an aeroplane! Of course we'll be seeing them all the time!"

"I have an aeroplane, that is true. However, since it is the sole aeroplane upon which my business relies, I cannot use GERTI to fly back and forth between Fitton and Vaduz for the rest of her days!"

Arthur considered this, even halting slightly to do so. He quickly recovered his pace, though. "Well then. We'll just have to move to Liechtenstein."

Carolyn rolled her eyes. "Not this again."

Douglas grinned. Herc finally seemed to give up on the idea that Carolyn was ever going to take her drink from him, and set them both down on the empty desk.

"I'm afraid I will have to put my foot down on this one," Arthur said matter-of-factly. "Because like Theresa said my responsibilities are of paramount importance, as the baby's god-brother."

Carolyn couldn't help but smile at the name. She had been extremely touched to receive the title of godmother from Martin, something she would never in a million years have expected when she first interviewed him for the position as first officer all those years ago, but even that moment had been topped by her discovery that Liechtenstein's newest royal couple had extended the baby's official god-family to include an excitable, Labrador-puppy of a 32-year-old brother. Oblivious of the slightly invented status of his new title, Arthur had immediately begun a career as Baby Expert, reading at least four pages of Baby Facts and even penning a few storybooks in his own childlike handwriting. All of them featured Brilliant Baby and Super Steward, and chronicled the adventures of the duo as they travelled the world in a sixteen-seater jet. Literary gold they were not, but Carolyn had to admit they were verging on heart-warming.

It was painful, then, to have to keep reminding Arthur that he might not be able to be as involved in the baby's life as he'd clearly like to be. Though he'd never slipped far enough to be considered miserable by any normal standards, his usual cheeriness had waned somewhat in the weeks following Martin's departure, and it had never again quite reached the dizzying heights of yesteryear for very long, not until Theresa's announcement. It was coming up for two years now since Captain Crieff's last MJN flight, but Carolyn privately thought that the last seven or so months had been the happiest ones for Arthur in that entire period. Her eternally positive son was clearly convinced that the baby's arrival was going to change everything, and it tugged on her slightly frayed heartstrings every time she remembered that it probably wasn't. Not for them.

"How's the book coming along, Arthur?" Douglas inquired, eager to steer the conversation from the well-trodden route of Fitton vs. Liechtenstein.

Arthur beamed. "It's great! I'm still on the same bit as yesterday, because I thought since it's so close now I might as well wait until we know if it's a girl baby Skip or a boy baby Skip, then I can go back and put all the hims and hers in where I left the gaps. And colour in the clothes in all the pictures. Though I don't think the baby will mind much what colour it's wearing in the pictures. Or at all really. I quite like pink and Mum wears blue all the time so I think all this colour business is mostly silly."

Herc nodded sagely. "Meaningless colour-to-gender designation. It's all to do with the fact that gender is a largely social construct which has little or nothing to do with genetics." Douglas raised his eyebrows at him. Arthur had no expression on his face. "I mean. You're right, Arthur."

The steward smiled again. "Brilliant!"

Carolyn had crossed the room and was eyeing the company wall-chart. "You know, we're booked to fly a crate load of light-bulb fittings out from Switzerland on Wednesday. We're collecting them from the Berne Belp airport. I'm sure whoever is expecting them is depending greatly on their safe arrival. Perhaps it would be a good idea to fly out there a couple of days early to ensure we're definitely there to pick them up."

Herc smiled at her. If Carolyn was feeling particularly venomous she might call it a simper. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"It does sound like a very wise precaution," Douglas chimed in. "And of course…if we do happen to arrive early for any reason…and if there are any maternity wards in Vaduz in desperate need of visitors…"

All three of them turned to Arthur, waiting for the penny to drop.

"Wow!" He exclaimed. "There's an actual place called Berne Belp?"

"Yes, there is, but—" Carolyn began, but trailed off almost immediately.

Douglas's phone had begun to ring.

"Hello, Martin? Hold on, I'm putting you on speakerphone…"