Chapter 2

I am floating. Nothing feels real anymore, not since that day. I went to work only to lose myself in the cases just to distract me from reality. I don't bother shaving anymore. My eyes are tired from crying all the time and the lack of sleep, and my chest plays home to a big hole that used to hold my heart. I don't talk to anyone of importance: not Callie, not Derek, and certainly not Meredith. I probably should, but I just can't stand to be around her at the moment. Every single thing she does reminds me too much of Lexie and I can't handle it.

The scene from the accident just keeps replaying over and over in my head once again as I lay on my bed. Images of her once smiling and happy keep appearing in front of my eyes and it keeps me awake at night. Thoughts and theories about what I could've done to save her torture me. And all I can do is let the tears well up, the alcohol to trickle down my throat and memories consume me.

The rain pitter-patters against my bedroom window in a steady rhythm and overwhelmed with exhaustion, I begin to close my eyes and drift off. The soft sound of bare feet against the wooden floor is what stirs me in the early hours of the morning. Opening my eyes, I can't believe what I'm seeing.

She's standing over me. Her long brown locks, free of any blood, those captivating eyes full of warmth and love, and a loving smile playing on her lips. I swear my heart stops beating as I stare at her. She's wearing my old CBGB's shirt and a pair of gym shorts, like she always used to when she was sick, or just going to bed.

I open my mouth to say something. Anything! But no words form. I want to ask if this is real or if I'm still asleep, but my mouth won't work. I probably look like a fish out of water, because her smile grows as places her hand against my face. Her warm, soft, solid hand. I can feel her! Nuzzling into her touch, I breathe her in, wanting to remember this moment even if it's a dream. Reading my mind, she whispers, "You're not dreaming, Mark. Just breathe for a moment. I'm not going anywhere."

Closing my eyes, I try to memorize her touch. It had been too long since she last touched me like this. "Lexie," I breathe out as I feel her lean in and then her lips are on mine. Instantly I kiss her back with everything I have. Who knows if I'm going to see her again after tonight? Hell, I didn't even know this was going to happen; I'm not going to take any chances.

My hand travels to the back of head and I tread my fingers through those beautiful locks pulling her closer. Her hands move to hold herself up against the pillow behind my head. I pull her closer, so she's on top of me as our mouths move in sync. Then just like always, our lips part and our tongues meet. She tastes of spearmint, a taste I will never get out of my mouth, and a taste I never want to get out.

The lack of air gets to me and I am hesitant to pull away. Afraid that if I do, she'd fade away and leave me like she did that day. Sensing something is wrong, Lexie is the one to pull away. "What is it? What's wrong?" She asks as she shifts and lays her head against my chest. Instinctively my arm goes up to wrap around her shoulders and hold her.

"I've missed you so much, Lexie." I begin. "And now you're here beside me. I don't understand. How is all this possible? Am I hallucinating or what?"

Her warm breath tickles my neck and she says, "You're not hallucinating. I am here. Here for one last night." She then leans up and carries on. If this is really my last night, I'm not holding back. I need to remember everything that happens, and the feeling of her pressed against me. Otherwise, I'd never survive.

Our kisses continue to grow heavy and as the night grows on, I memorize every touch, every taste, and the feelings that rush through me and land directly into my once perfectly mended heart.

The early sun begins to rise, and I tighten my grip on her. Not wanting her to fade away from me again. I didn't get any sleep after our love making, afraid that if I closed my eyes, she'd disappear before I could tell her goodbye. Holding her in my arms, I try and focus on the feeling of her beating heart, and her steady breaths against my neck; tears well up in my eyes as she stirs and opens her beautiful brown eyes. Our eyes lock and as always she takes my breath away. "I love you, Mark. I'll always love you."

My voice cracks as I place a chaste kiss against those delicate lips. "I will always love you, Lexie. More than anything."

She gives me a sad smile. "I'll never leave your side, remember that." She tells me as she begins to fade away, like she did before.

"I love you, Lex," is pulled from my lips one more time before she disappears and all that I'm left with is her strawberry scent on my pillow.