What it is like to be Kara
"Would you shut up for one moment! You think you are the only one who has a difficult live! You think you are the only one who has suffered! You have no idea what it is to be me! I was there! I was there when Krypton exploded! And then I spent 24 years suspended in time, not knowing if I was ever going to see anyone ever again! When I finally made it here I had to find out that my cousin had already grown up! I was too late! I couldn't keep the promise I gave my parent! I didn't keep him save!
Instead the first English words I learned where "Hide yourself, you are not allowed to be yourself". I had to betray everything, my culture, my language, my religion, my fundamental instincts, just to fit in! Just to be normal! I know what it is like to feel betrayed! Because I had to betray myself every single day! I spent years trying to become human! I learned everything there is about human nature and eventually I became Kara Danvers. Kara Danvers is the only person who brought Alex and me through high school, college and getting job.
On top of all of that I had those powers, that I couldn't control. I was scared of touching someone, shaking someone's hand, giving somebody a hug, because I thought I was going to hurt them. I was scared of getting angry or scared because I thought I am going to burn down the house. I heard every stupid comment they mad about me at school because I couldn't control the superhearing. Growing up on earth I never felt normal.
When I became Supergirl I thought that using my powers would make me feel more normal, would give my live sense, but it never did. It only made me realise that my normal live ended the moment my parents put me on that pod.
Then I had to find out that the legacy of my people was death and destruction throw-out the universe. It was my pod that lead Fort Rozz to escape from the phantom zone and follow it to earth. That was me. And on top of all of that my mum was the one who had sentence most of the Fort Rozz escapees, so they all tried to kill me. An than I found out that my aunt and uncle were amongst them and I had to stop them. The only people who understood my culture and I had to stop them. Alex killed my aunt and I had to kill my uncle, because otherwise he would have killed every human on the planet.
Every time I get in contact with Kryptonite it reminds me, of what I lost. Kryptonite-Meteoroids are the remains of my planet. One of the only things that are left from my planet and they kill me! My own home is poisons to me!
When I finally found someone who understood me, who understood what it means to be me, I had to send him away! I had to do the one thing I promised myself I would never do to anyone. Sent him away, like my parents did with me! They didn't just die, they sent me away! They abounded me!
When I found Argo I thought I could go back. I could feel home again. But I couldn't stay there because my own culture is estranged to me. My language sounds foreign to me. I am to Kryptonien for earth, but I am to human for Argo. I have no place to go. Humans either praise me like a God or fear me. And the moment I make a mistake the throw me to the wolfs, hunting me out of hate.
Kara Danvers is the only chance I will ever have at having half normal live. The only way I will ever belong. You have no idea what it is like to be me, because you didn't watch your world burn, when you were 13. It was all gone, in a single moment, just wiped from the stars. For 15 years I thought would never see it ever again.
If I give into the darkness, into the loss, I am never getting up ever again. So, every day I smile to convince myself to be strong. I need to fight, to make sure that no one ever has to suffer the way I had to! I need to believe that people can be better! I need to believe that the world can be a better place! Because it is the only thing keeps me getting up in the morning.
And now I lost the only person who has always been there for me. The only person who ever made me feel home on this planet. Ever since I have been on earth I don't know what live is like without her there all the time. She was the only person who never treated me different because of who I am! what I am!"
Kara's face red from anger, her cheeks are dripping from tears. As she said the last sentences she stepped right in front of Lena with her eyes starting to glow. In the moment when Lena realises that Kara might hurt her, Kara turns around and disappears in the blink of an eye, slamming the balcony door behind her.
