"What the hell?" Erik cried.

"Surprise - you were this week's victim on Prank it Up, the new show where pranks are taken to the MAX!" exclaimed Christine, over much cheering from the mob.

Erik still didn't understand. He just stared at the cameras, and confetti, and sparkly clothes, not even trying to comprehend what had just happened.

It's OK, he told himself. You're just really, really drunk.

Somehow, not even that made any more sense.

"These past six months have been entirely made up! The real Christine left the opera house ages ago!" explained Raoul, who was now wearing a sparkly blue suit, covered in sequins. Erik had to stifle a giggle.

"Then who was..." Erik turned to Christine, who smiled at him with perfect white teeth. A horrible feeling dawned in the back of his mind.

"Surprise!" Christine smiled, pulling off the grotesque mask that made her face and - oh - the horror! No, no, anyone but him!

"It's me, John Barrowman!" said the most-definitely-a-man.

"You're... but... how... oh, NO!" Erik cried. You could almost hear those capital letters. Everyone else just nodded and smiled with their perfect white teeth.

"Yep!" grinned John. "I'm Christine!"

"But we..." Erik faltered. He remembered that night when they - ahem - made the Music of the Night. "Did things together!"

John's perverted grin was all he needed.

"Eww! But you looked... like a... woman." Erik didn't want to believe it. "Nooooooo! Please just be drunk! Please, please, please just be drunk!"

For a while, everyone was silent. Erik let comprehension flood through him.

"John?" he asked.

"Yes?" came the reply.

"How did you do it?"