His mother came into his room. Closed the door, looking down. Lovino turned his head. Four steps from the door. A smack in his face. His head turned again, uncontrollably.
'I can't believe you.'
His mind stopped. He didn't understand. He tried to quickly remember the few days. What could he have done, what-
'Your father saw what nastiness you did on the internet and all your chats.'
Oh my god. Oh my god. That was not happening. That was not happening. That was not happening. That was not happening.
He looked at the floor. Eyes wide open. There was so many thing to say. There was nothing to do.
He heard sobbing. Not from himself surprisingly. He could not dare to look at his mother. He kept on hearing her crying into her hands. She sniffed one more time.
'I convinced him hardly. He was gonna come and God knows-' she was interrupted by her own sobbings.
'Mom...' He tried to look at her. It was harder than ever. It was easier to look at her even when he was lying. Why?
'Mom... It's not like this... I swear it's not like this...' He wasn't even thinking, words came out by themselves. He didnt even know whether to deny or accept.
'Shut up... You think I'm stupid? I saw that homo flag and-and those little pins in your bag.' No no no no that was not happening. That felt horribly real. He felt in the moment too much, too painfully. He just looked at her. The face he knew. One rare face that always had a kind smile for him. A face filled with horror. Disgust. Disappointment.
'Oh my god! You aren't even denying it!' She suddenly raised her whispers to shouting which made him jump on his bed.
This was happening. This was happening and there was no way out of this room, out of this fucking life, out of this world. He was shaking with anger and fear. Angry for he had to go through this for no good reason. And fear. He had no idea what his dad was gonna say. Kick him out? Send him to the military? He literally had no control over his own future, and future alone was already scary.
'What dad said?' He sounded even more quite than he was after that shouting.
She rubbed her eyes with her palms. Huffed.
'You should thank me for keeping him from coming to you right after he saw.' Then she sat next to him. And actually looked him in the eye. He was crying. Eyes half closed now.
'We should have never moved to America.' She said, calmer now.
'That's where you got this all idea of homo bullshit. And internet of course.'
'Please... Please don't send me anywhere I swear I'm gonna get rid of everything please just-just... Just let me...'
His voice disappeared into the air. He didnt even know what he wanted from them. Was staying home the best choice after all? He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure.
'Do you know how hard it is for me? Do you have any idea what I feel? I would have never... Never expect this. I'm trying to find what we did wrong for this to happen... And... Look I know you've been always distant even as a child. I know your dad didn't do his very best for you, I know I could have spend more time with you-'
'No.' He said, looking up, crying.
'Mom, It's not like that. It has nothing to do with you...'
'Then why Lovino? Why would you do this? We raised you with the love of God, with our precious religion a-and... Ah...'
'I didn't do it! I didn't chose it, I didn't decide it.' He did not know if it was the right thing to say but it was better than staying more silent.
'What do you mean? Oh my God. Don't tell me that you were born this way Lovino. Don't you dare speak wrong about the Creation of God. It looks like you have been sinned more than enough already.'
She looked at her lap, her hands. So did Lovino.
'We need to get rid of this somehow... I am gonna look up some religious camps near the area.'
'What? What camp?'
She sighed. 'A conversion camp. Melanie has sent her daughter there like two years ago before they moved. How could I know that someday I would need that info.'
He didn't know about the camps his mom was talking about but for some reason it gave a nazi camp image to his mind.
'Do you hate me?' That, he quickly asked before he could stop himself. His mother looked at him. The disgust was erased from her face. But it did not give him the comfort it gave before. Then she unexpectedly hugged him. He couldn't get himself to hug back, but relaxed in his mother's embrace. Tears came back. He felt her hand cupping his head and burying on her shoulder.
He needed her insurance more than ever. He hesitantly, lightly wrapped his arms around her.
A.N. / This felt way longer when i was writing lol. I directly got to this part because i didn't wanna make it longer but i guess it ended up shorter than i wanted oops.
