Disclaimers: I do not own these characters. These wonderful sparkly and furry friends belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer. I've always wanted to go to Forks. I'm just using them to get there!

No form of copyright infringement intended.

The Bamboos' : You Ain't No Good

Chapter 2: Misgivings and Second Considerations

After such a rough start I debated on whether or not to finishing packing and heading to Forks. I know that my grandfather, Charlie, was expecting me this afternoon. I really didn't know if I wanted to go back there. Back to where it happened. I've been having this same internal debate with myself for weeks now.

I've spent so many years running. I've been running from the lies, the guilt, and my family's death. I've been running so long and so hard, I don't even know if I can stop. I don't think I will ever know if I've been running away from something or to something. Just when I thought I hit rock bottom of my shame spiral my cell phone started to ring.

As I picked up the phone I noticed the caller I.D. It was Charlie. I took about 20 seconds to decide if I really wanted to talk to him right now or not. I decided it was probably for the best if I answered the phone.

"Hello, Charlie."

"Hey, Kid!" Charlie replied, too gleefully for my woeful attitude this morning. I wondered if it would be rude to hang up, and tell him later that I must have been in a bad cell area. All I could think of was that if my mother had heard me say that, I would be in serious trouble. Which then led back to why I was going to live with my grandfather, Charlie. I didn't have a mother, or a father, or a family, well except Charlie. I didn't know where Alice and Jasper were. Even though I spent the last twenty years looking for them.

This was turning out to be a very tiring and emotionally draining morning. Maybe I could go back to bed, and start the day fresh tomorrow. The thought of going back to sleep sounded good, all except the gut wrenching nightmares I seemed to have every time I slept. So sleep was definitely out of the question.

"Uh, Ness?" Charlie asked, trying to get my attention for the third time. It wasn't that I was exactly trying to ignore him, I just put him on the back burner in my mind while I contemplated how I was going to escape this new found hell that I was placing myself in. I'm such a masochist.

"Yes, Charlie?" I responded. Not cheerfully or woefully. This was just a response, nothing more or less and this time without tears. Good for me.

"I was just wondering if you were still planning on moving here today." Charlie asked somewhat cautiously.

"Yeah, I was planning on coming today after I finished packing." I responded casually. Truth is I haven't even started backing. The bright side was that it wouldn't take me long to back. I never bring more with me than I can possibly carry. And, while I may be able to carry a lot, I typically try to keep my material goods down to several bags.

"Oh, okay then. I was just checking. Do you know about what time you will be here? I have to go to the station later today, and I didn't want to miss welcoming you home." I rolled my eyes. Maybe I have become cynical since my parent's deaths, but I just can't get use to people actually caring about me, let alone concerning themselves with my feelings. I'm used to being alone, and taking care of myself.

"Yeah. I should be there around five if that's okay?" That should give me enough time to pack, get ready, load up the car, grab something to eat, go for a hunt, and be in town with some time to spare.

"Sure. Sure kid, that's great. Sue said she would meet you at the house." Well isn't that cheery. Don't get me wrong I like Sue, but I really don't want to talk with anyone if I can avoid it. The bright side is that Sue knows what I am, so if I manage to get some blood on me from the hunt, I won't have to worry about cleaning up again or having to come up with an explanation.

"Okay. Sounds good. Listen Charlie, I have to go. I have to finish packing and getting ready. I'll see you later okay?"

"Sure Ness. I'll see you soon. " Charlie said almost regretfully.

Just as I was about to hang up the phone Charlie called my name.

"Ness."

"Yeah, Charlie?" I grudgingly returned my cell to my ear.

"You really are coming back, and staying this time right?" Charlie said sorrowfully.

"Yeah, I really am." I replied in almost a whisper. Let's just say I haven't had a proven track record with following through with plans surrounding Forks and my constant presence. I usually get in, and then get out.

"That's good kid. See you about five. Drive safe. Bye." Charlie responded gleefully yet again.

"Bye." I responded less than enthusiastic.

All I could hear was the phone clicking off. I shut the phone, and just sat there with it in my hands. I felt like I sat there forever just staring at it, staring at the walls, and wondering why my life was this way. Why me? Why now?

I finally decided it was time to get a move on. Just then The Bamboos' song " You Ain't No Good" was being introduced by the D.J. on the radio. Really? Really? If life isn't just out to get me, then I don't know what is… Oh, wait! That's right, I do. The Volturi.

Mentally shaking myself as I shivered, I decided it was best to pack up, and get out of this place. I had overstayed my welcome anyways. I began packing.

It only took me a little over fifteen minutes to put all of my stuff into three bags. I made sure to put the locket my mother gave me on that fateful day around my neck. That the bracelet Jacob gave me for Christmas was secured around my wrist. I grabbed the replacement pink ipod shuffle and placed it in my purse. Needless to say that the one that dad gave me twenty years ago was dead. I had transferred all the songs that he had put on there, on to my new ones over the years, but I still kept the original. Not because it worked, but because it was one of the last things that my dad gave me before he died. I also made sure that I had my journal. I spent the last twenty years journaling, something that my dad strongly encouraged. I found it very cathartic.

I made sure that I had my "transfer papers" for school. These papers were complete fabrication, along with my passport, I.D. and driver's license. I had purchased them from J. Jenks a week ago. They were flawless. Jenks seemed surprised to hear from me, but willingly fabricated the papers very quickly for me. Let's just say that money can buy you about anything. He told me that he was surprised to hear from me, because he had not heard from any member of my family for twenty years. I didn't know what to tell him. My parents were dead, my grandparents were dead, and Rosalie and Emmett were gone too. This did nothing to give me hope. I hadn't been able to locate Alice and Jasper, but I always hoped that they were still alive, still out there somewhere. If Jenks hadn't heard from either one of them in the past twenty years, then there was no hope.

I looked down at my newly fabricated documents, and reviewed them one last time for good measure. Carlie Cullen. Since deciding to go home, I thought it was appropriate to use my given name. I decided not to go with my first name Renesmee because it was so uncommon. Carlie was a sensible second choice. Carlie Cullen. To finally be able to use my name again, gave me such joy. I have used variations over the years of Renesmee, Carlie, Vanessa, Nessie, Wolf, Cullen, Swan, and Masen, I didn't know if I knew who I truly was. Finally, to use my own name again, felt like coming home.

I placed the papers in my purse, along with my cell phone. I grabbed my change of clothes that I had laid on the bed and went to shower and brush my teeth. I took my current clothes and threw them in the open suitcase I had lying on the bed. After rushing through my shower and my teeth brushing, I took a moment to look in the mirror, and to really look at myself. I might be what some people would call pretty, I had long wavy bronzy chestnut brown hair, brown eyes with gold flecks (this was a later addition to my original deep brown eyes. I believe it had something to do with the amount of animal blood I had ingested over the twenty years.) I had pale, smooth, flawless skin. I had the kind of skin that didn't need any makeup, which was a good thing because I typically didn't wear any. I was slight of build, like my mother. I looked about sixteen or seventeen years old. I have looked this way since I was seven years old. The thing I noticed was the dark circles under my eyes. Usually the circles only appear if I haven't hunted in a while. My last hunt was only three days ago, so I was good. I shouldn't have these dark circles under my eyes. I blamed the nightmares and my lack of sleep, and decided just this once a little bit of concealer wouldn't hurt.

After finishing my morning routine, I grabbed by toiletries and threw them in the opened suitcase, zipped it shut, grabbed by three bags, and my purse and headed downstairs. I was leaving the loft for the last time. I had no emotional connection to the place, but still it was the closest thing I had to a home, since Jake died that night on the beach. I quickly headed to my car. I grabbed my keys out of my purse and opened the trunk to the shiny silver Volvo. I have always drived a Volvo and I wasn't about to stop just because I was going back to Forks. Driving a silver Volvo always reminded me of my parents, especially my dad. Volvos were always his go to everyday car. It made me feel closer to them just driving one.

Shutting the trunk, I took one last look around the neighborhood. I sighed, thinking about what brought me here in the first place; wanting to be home, come home, but not wanting to be in Forks. Well, that's all about to change. I opened the driver's door and slid into the leather interior. I turned the radio on and listened to Clair de Lune, while I turned the key. I grabbed some fast food as I drove out of the city, and headed to the highway. This highway would take me to where it all began, it would take me home.

Author's Note:

Hello, everyone! Let me know what you think! I know a few of you wanted a new chapter so here it is. I will be posting regularly I hope! I hope you enjoy. I know some of you wanted a longer chapt