Shock filled him as he stared frozen at the woman in front of him. There were no words to express what he was feeling. She seemed to be on a similar state, with her lips half open and an anguished look on her face. The child took them back to reality, as she tugged her mother's skirts for attention.
Rey eyes flew from his face, her gaze shifted to the little girl at her feet. Finn saw how her expression softened, she got on her knees to lift her. She cooed gently at her and the girl giggled. Rey took a deep breath before looking back at him.
''Can we talk somewhere else?''
Finn nodded, still silent.
She made a hand gesture to Maz, and the short woman watched them leave. Once they were outside, Rey walked to the tree-line, with clear intention of going to the forest. Finn stopped her.
''Where are you going?''
She did not turn. ''To my ship, we can talk in there''
''No, we have to do this now.'' At that, she did.
Finn could see her eyes shining with unshed tears, and suddenly, any kind of anger and resentment that he had held for her disappearance went to the back of his head; being overcame by the joy of simply seeing her again. He stepped forward with his arms open, hugging both her and her little girl, who got crushed between them.
''Momma?'' Her shy voice asked. ''Who's him?''
Finn's eyes did not leave her.
''He is an old friend of mine. We have known each other for a long time''
The girl sucked on her thumb.
''And daddy? Do you know my daddy, Mister?''
Finn did not respond. So Rey did it for him.
''Yes, he does.''
After that they went to her ship, and Finn set eyes on the Millennium Falcon for the first time in years. The thing was still a piece of junk, but it definitely looked better than the last time he had seen it, clearly some reparations were done.
The hatch opened and he hesitated. Rey gave him a look.
''You don't have to worry, he is sleeping right now.''
He. Finn had done his best to avoid the thought of Kylo Ren, and thus the girl's father. Because when he looked at her dark mane and singular ears, there was no doubt of her parentage. Never mind the other child in her belly.
The idea of the former Supreme Leader parenting any child made him physically ill, but he could not let Rey know that at the moment. He would get in the ship and talk her out of whatever that was.
Once they were inside, Rey cleared her throat.
''I think she felt my distress back there, she's exhausted, I'm going to put her on bed.'' She pointed at the sits behind her. ''You can wait here, I'll be right back''
As he waited, Finn took a good look at his surroundings. There was something cozier about the place that had not been there the last time. The common room was very different. There were rugs spread on the floor, cushions over them, books were stored on shelves that were new as well. It felt much like the shared apartment that he had with Rose back on the base. It felt like a home.
Rey sat by his side when she returned.
There was an uncomfortable silence, for none of them knew what to say. Finn was the one to break it.
''Why?''
He felt Rey wincing at his side. She gestured weakly to where she came from.
''You have seen why''
''You went away to have a child with him?'' his eyes went to her round middle. ''To have children.''
''I didn't run away to build a family somewhere far away from the war, I never thought about it, I did not even considered it!'' She licked her dry lips. ''When I got pregnant it was not intentionally,'' Finn pointedly ignored her blush ''I was still with the Resistance when I discovered it.''
''And then you run away with Kylo Ren''
Rey flared.
''His name is Ben Solo and he is the father of my children and I love him''
Finn still couldn't wrap his head around the idea.
''But why? Is this one of those Jedi things no one else gets? You two meet twice in the battlefield! He killed Han, tortured Poe and you. Why did you do it?''
His voice rose.
The fire in her eyes died then, and her voice took a soft edge.
''The force connected us, he was on Snoke's Supremacy and I was on Ach-too the first time it happened; I shot him with a blaster.'' She smiled at that. ''We could see and talk to each other a galaxy away. Before Holdo crushed the Raddus I went to him, and he, he killed Snoke for me.'' She trembled at the memory. ''We killed together the rest of his guard and then he asked me to join him, to rule the galaxy by his side. I denied him.''
She shook her head.
''After Crait, I thought I had severed the bond. I wanted nothing to do with him.''
''Until you did.''
Rey nodded solemnly.
''Until I did.''
She was shaken suddenly, then she pressed her hand against her abdomen. Her expression turned bright, then.
''It's kicking.'' She smiled at him. ''Would you like to feel?''
Finn was speechless, and Rey must have thought he didn't want to for her face fell.
''I would love to.''
Her hand guided his, to the lower part of her belly. She irradiated warmth, and then he felt it. A small foot, or hand he couldn't be sure, bumped with his palm. Such a powerful thing, it was.
He didn't have the force, but he could swore that he felt Rey's happiness in that moment.
His eyes found hers.
''I won't pretend to understand it, because I don't. But I'm sorry I snapped.'' He apologized, Rey shook her head.
''There is nothing to forgive. I wanted to tell you the truth, I really did. But I couldn't risk anyone finding out. I couldn't put Anni in any danger. The last thing I wanted was to fly in the dead of the night with no explanation.''
She rubbed circles over his hand.
''And selfish as it may sound, I wanted a family. It was all I ever wanted. When I had my chance to have it…It wasn't in the best of the times of course. But here I am, with a man that loves me and my children. With a family that won't leave.''
''My only regret was not saying goodbye.''
Finn felt tears of his own threatening to fall, they had been building up since he got on the ship.
''I knew that if I stayed any longer I wouldn't be able to leave.''
''You were, are as much of my family as they are.''
He cried, then. Because that had been his greatest hurt. The feeling of being taken of family he didn't know, the feeling of his new family going away. He hugged her again, and hoped that with it, any harsh feelings of his own died.
''Are you happy here? Does he treats you well? Is he kind?'' It went out of his mouth on a rush, and he felt her nod frantically in his shoulder.
''Yes, stars above, yes. He is a really good father, Finn. He has changed so much, you wouldn't believe it. He loves her so much.'' She sniffed. ''She will have everything we didn't''
He understood.
He remembered that he was supposed to waiting for Poe at the cantina. He didn't want to leave, but he understood what Rey had said. The longer he stayed, the harder it would be to leave.
Their farewell was short. With a promise of meeting again, once the galaxy was at peace. He went back to the castle with a weight off his shoulders, one less burden in heart. With a healed scar where there had been an open wound.
He did not turn to look at her. Not even once.
He trusted the stars to set their meeting again.
