Inside a small office on one of the minor Southern Islands, A.E. 20, 10th 0f Bloom, 12 p.m.
You'd think that after three years of grub free peace( Well relative peace, considering the large amount of stranded and U.R.I refugees that refuse to integrate into a normal society) that someone other then myself would prove to be a part of the worlds already very small one percent of geniuses. I guess I was wrong! Yeah, that's right, I, Damon Baird, am part of that one percent and am proud of it. But apparently because I have a knack for fixing electronics and other shit, people think that I am good at everything.
That brings us to our issue at hand. I am a mechanic, not a historian, not a politician, and sure as hell not a teacher of any subject other then probably a crash course on how to be an asshole. So this is what I don't get, why am I in charge of both recording the history and present state of Sera? I know my way around an engine block and how to hack the highest grade security systems that are still functional, but writing about the past and present of Sera? I think I drew the short stick on this one.
Anyway, enough of my bitching, I'm sure whoever reads this will hear plenty more since I get to record and put down what best suits my interest and skip the other crap. I guess that's a bright side to possibly being one of the last geniuses on Sera, that or I'm utterly doomed thanks to the fact that I'm surrounded by idiots who either know how to tend farmland or load a Lancer and probably nothing in-between.
Ah I'm getting sidetracked again. Lets get down to business!
*He fiddles with the pre-E-Day voice recorder and after a couple adjustments the red recording light flashes on*
Ahem! Alright kiddos, its time to learn some history with good ol' uncle Baird. Ah, no that sounds pretty creepy. Fuck it.
*He clears his throat*
Baird here, Entry number one on Seras history. Turns out that even in the historic period of the Era of Armageddon that the humans who inhabited this planet weren't complete morons! That's right everyone, the calendar we use was created around the same time as the human race was facing the brink of extinction! Aren't we just the most sophisticated beings you've ever witnessed? Sorry, my smartass comments don't always sit well with others so let me share a little more information with you about the calendar. There is four seasons on Sera, winter, spring, summer, and fall. There is eleven months within the span of a single year, each month ranging between 41 and 43 days. Each day consist of 26 hours, with most of the 457 days of the year being split even between 13 hours of daylight and 13 of night time. The months of the year go in this order:
Storm
Gale
Thaw
Rise
Bloom
Heat
Bounty
Harvest
Reap
Frost
Brume
Now, the order in which these months were placed on the calendar we use today is of much debate on whether it is the correct version, but I mean honestly after how much damage the grubs did on E-Day I think it's fair to take what we can get. But like always, Baird is an asshole for pointing out the selfishness of those who contribute far less to society and advancements in technology that bitch about the small things like how a calendars months are arranged. I'm getting ahead of myself again. Since I was so pleasantly informed of my need to create educational and historical recordings on Sera at such a short notice, I am only able to present you, my crappy little listeners, with a dumbed down explanation of our calendar and when it started.
*He shuts the recorder off*
I can't believe Marcus and the others have me doing Bairds little fun time educational recordings. I should be out kicking stranded out of their shitty caves and working on fixing up broken electronics. Maybe I'll work on that bot I found awhile back, still haven't decided on what it should be called. Maybe it can be called Deebee for now, it'll just be my inside thing. How vain do I have to be to nickname a robot after my initials? Eh, it's the least I can do since I'm probably the only one left contributing anything to further technical advancements.
