-Antennae Alternative-
Characters: Dib, Gir, Zim, Computer
Friendships: (early) ZADF, ZAG(IR)F
Setting: Zim's base
Rating: K+ for my paranoia and implied Irken cussing
Summary: While on a mission for help with his homework, Dib travels to Zim's house and finds him in a rather strange situation.
The cooling wind cut through my black hair and trench coat-like jacket as I walked around another corner of the block, the last corner until I would end up at a tall ominous-looking triangle-shaped house. The same house I have visited many times before, but for different reasons. I had called this house earlier today for a homework question, since the occupant of this green house was basically the only one I could call for homework...I'm not exactly "popular", so...yea, I don't wanna talk about it.
Anyway, when I had called ealier, the person (cough, Alien, cough cough) didn't answer, but his little robot minion did. Now that didn't exactly strike me as odd, but what the little robot said did. Cue flashback.
" HIIII!" I remember hearing the loud hyper voice of the robot say as it picked up the phone after only one ring.
"Uhhhh..." I began not so intelligently. "Hey, umm...Gir, right? Is Zim home?"
"Ohhhhhh..." Gir started, his voice not as loud as before. "Masta downstairs! He reeeeaaalll excited! He say LOTS of words! MONKEY!" And then he hung up.
Excited? Zim? THAT'S what was weird! And no, I wasn't worried! I was just making sure he wasn't up to anything that involved Earth's downfall or anything.
I quickly approached the seemingly glowing house, stopping before setting a single step on the oddly decorated house. As I set the first step, I glanced around at the short gnomes that lined the sidewalk, the weird redish-purple windows, and the satillite dish ontop of the roof. Nothing happened.
I sighed in relief, continuing my walk up to the door as I said "Weird that he didn't turn the security on." to myself.
Suddenly, the gnomes that had been dormant before turned their heads at me and started creeping towards me, their little nubby arms outstretched.
Spoke too soon.
I quickly ran to the door and banged on its surface, ignoring the out of place Men's sign.
"LET ME IN! LET ME IN! LET ME IN!"
Thankfully, the door was opened by Gir and I quickly rushed in, shutting the door behind me and pressing my back against it, as if it would inforce the protection against the creepy security garden gnomes. When I calmed down enough to look down, i saw the little silver-white robot looking up at me with large blue-cyan eyes. The box on his chest was the same color as his eyes, along with his shoulders and the little ball on the end of his single antenna on his head. He smiled widely at me, his pink tounge sticking out of the side of his mouth. How robots have tounges beats me, but this little thing isn't exactly a normal robot. I stared back at him for a while until...
"You got any taqitoes?"
I sighed slightly, smiling inward from Gir's randomness.
"Hey, Gir. is Zim home?" I asked, ignoring his question.
"YES!" He practically screamed spontaniously, making me jump slightly. I waited a moment for Gir to continue. After a few moments of silence and staring, I spoke up.
"Where is he?"
"nnuuuuuuuuummmmmmmm uhhh He went down there!" He answered, pointing to the trashcan in the kitchen nearby.
"Okay, ummm...thanks." I proceeded to the trashcan, opening it and stepping inside. Out of nowhere, Gir jumped on my head, apparently wanting to tag along. As the elevator hidden inside the trashcan went downward, Gir peered down at my face, laying on my head, avoiding the sythe-like shape my hair grew in.
"Mary?"
I sighed. "My name is Dib. We've been through this. Like 30 times this week alone."
Gir waited a moment, and if the robot had eyelids it probably would've blinked. "Why is your head so big?" He asked in a kid-like voice.
I took in a breath to yell something like "My head's not big!" or "Yours is bigger!" but I had to remember that Gir was innocent...and adorable. So, I let my breath out in a sigh instead, glaring slightly at my reflection in the glass of the elevator.
"I don't know, Gir. I don't know."
We soon met the bottom of the elevator and we (or technically just I) stepped out. Right as I stepped out, I heard a yell echo through the base in a voice I very well know. Gir hopped off of my head and began calmly marching ahead. I figured I was supposed to follow, so I walked after him. As we made our way further into the base, Zim's yells became more and more audible. I was starting to feel a little nervous as we got closer. Zim sounded like he was in pain, or being tortured! Again, I wasn't worried! Finally, we were infront of the door that seperated us from the yelling alien. While pressing the button to open the door, I didn't know what to expect. I mean, what if other aliens came and Zim was trying to will them away? What if an experiment failed? What if Zim's leadered fired him or revealed that his mission was a lie?
Nah, I thought, dismissing that last thought, What are the odds of that happening?
When I walked into the room that held the purple spacecraft and repair tools, I couldn't help but laugh a little bit.
"Zim?" I asked, laughing again afterwards. "What the heck?"
The alien that was sent to this planet to take it over glared at me with magenta-tinted ruby eyes that really stood out from his green skin. His right antenna flattened slightly against his head, while his left one was stuck in what appeared to be a piece of Irken machinary. He growled at my presence, which I am used to.
"What do you want, Dib-thing? Who let you in anyway?" Zim said quite loudly, his anger noticable.
Gir ran out from behind me and waved excitedly at his master.
"Why do I even ask?" He said as the shine of his pupilless eyes moved slightly, I assumed he rolled his eyes.
I stopped giggling (which I had not noticed i was still laughing until then) and walked up to him, getting a closer look on the situation.
"What happened?" I asked, lifting a finger to touch the inhuman limb, but Zim flinched back before I could.
"Nothing! i was repairing the Voot Cruiser! Now if that's all you needed, then your services here are not needed, begone with you!"
"Looks like there was a little mistake." I said, ignoring his command to leave.
"Nonsense!" He said as if the math didn't add up. "No mistake was made. I AM ZIM!" As he shouted his last sentence, he threw his fists in the air. Almost immediately, he yelled in pain and held onto the root of his left antenna that had been pulled in his spontanious action. Now I felt a little bad for laughing earlier, it looked like it really hurt. Like the times I've gotten my hair stuck in the car window or seatbelt.
"How long have you been stuck like this?"
"I dunno, a few hours...eh, I mean...NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, HUMAN!" Again he threw his fists in the air dramatically and automatically flinched in the pain.
"Quit moving around!" I commanded, "You're making it worse!"
"That's what I told him!" a voice from above said, also known as Zim's computer.
Zim quickly replied by yelling "YOU'RE LYING!" and pointed rather dramatically at the ceiling but voiced a small whine as he turned his attention back to the crushed limb.
"Geez, calm down, Zim!" I said, looking at the small visable part of his antenna. "Why didn't you ask the computer to open this tool thing, anyway?"
"It's manually operated, so I don't control it." the computer informed. "And he wont let me touch him, so I can't help him."
I noticed Zim take in a quick breath, most likely to yell that the computer was lying, and I flicked him in the head to stop him. It worked but I got a glare and a growl in return.
"Why not ask Gir to manually turn it off?" I asked, and the entire base was silent. After a few seconds, Zim and I looked over at Gir who was currently attempting to make snow angels on the semi-clean floor. "Yeah, forget I said that."
I sighed, taking a step back and putting my hands on my hips in a heroic fashion.
"Well I guess I'll have to get you out of this." I announced, and Zim immediately turned to glare at me. Before he could protest, I continued. "Do you want out of this now so you can kick me out yourself?"
He growled slightly, the free antenna flattened against his head. "Fine. Do it now!"
Geez, I thought, a little surprized. That must really hurt if he's willing to accept help this easy.
"Alright, tell me how to operate this thing." I said, making my way closer to the machine that trapped the alien.
"The controls are on the other side." Said alien informed me and I made my way to the other side, staring at all of the forgien buttons and knobs.
"Alright, I'm here." I said, walking closer to the controls, not understanding the alien language it was printed in. I inched my hand toward a red knob with a weird Irken (I assumed) symbol on it, curious.
"First thing, don't touch the red knob. It'll trigger the claw to lift up and the last thing I need is a torn off lekku." I heard a voice warn me and I instantly jerked away. Geez, I really need to fix my curiousity problem.
"Now, there should be a purple button on the keyboard of the controls."
I looked around the keyboard of the machine, finding quite a few buttons that were all pink. But no purple one.
"Find it?"
"Uhhh..." I responded, looking through all of the buttons until my eyes landed on a single purple one in the upper-righthand corner of the feild of buttons. "Yea! Found it!"
"Alright, when you push it you need to hold it down and then locate the purple knob next to the red one. THE PURPLE ONE. NOT THE RED ONE! Got it, human?"
As I looked next to me for the purple knob he was talking about, I couldn't help but think it reminded me of when my little sister tried introducing video games to me. Yea...it didn't really play out well. But I've gotten better!
"When you locate the PURPLE knob," Yea, yea, not the red one, I get it! "keep the purple button held down and twist the knob in the direction the skool clock ticks."
I stopped for a second, thinking through what he just said.
"Do you mean clockwise?" I asked, narrowing one eye in confusement.
"Ehhh...yes, that sounds about right."
I rolled my eyes and just did what I was told. I held down the purple button and I heard the click sound echo throughout the underground lab. Next, I had to twist the purple knob, not the red one as I was reminded yet again, 'in the direction the clock ticks' or clockwise as Zim could've put it, and I heard the gears and wires and whatever else this machine was made up turn and make the sound of movement as I watched the claw where Zim was stuck at open smoothly. I heard the sound of footsteps and I stopped, assuming the alien was now free.
"Good work, Dib-thing. I suppose I will not destroy you today."
I hopped down from the controls onto the floor and made my way to the front, meeting with the undescuised Zim standing a few feet away from the claw (which didn't really looks like a claw, so I don't know why I keep referring it to that) and his antenna free...but not undamaged. I guess I was looking at him strangely because after a while he unnarrowed one of his eyes and asked what I was staring at. Before I could respond, Gir jumpped onto Zim's back and climbed up halfway on his head.
"Awwww...it's broked." Gir said, looking at the bent black antenna.
"What?" Zim asked, rubbing his head at the root of the antenna.
"Yea, it's pretty broken." I agreed. "Wait...can antennae break if they have no bones? ...WAIT, DO YOUR ANTENNAE HAVE BONES?"
I noticed Zim's broken antenna move just a little bit but he flinched slightly and it automatically stopped. I mimicked his trademark look of having one eye fully open and the other in a slit.
"What's wrong? Do you feel the pain through it?" I asked, pointing at the lekku in question.
"Eh? No, don't be ridiculus. There is no problem whatsoever."
I was about to believe him when Gir, who was slowly inching towards the broken antenna as we spoke, slightly grabbed the broken part of it. I'd note what Zim's response was, but I understood none of it. Judging by his pained look, I'd say he was most likely cussing in his native language. In his outburst, he threw Gir off of his head, who proceeded into the machine and bouced off it with a joyful laugh, and held onto the broken antenna careful to keep his grasp away from the broken part. Gir quickly rebounded, pointing at Zim and laughing.
"See? He says LOTS OF WORDS!"
"Yea," I said, looking down at the giggling robot. "Don't repeat any of those words, ok?"
Gir saluted me, which was a first, and hopped back on his feet.
"Right." I said, turning back to Zim. "No problem whatsoever."
He glared at me hatefully as Gir walked beside me, looking at his master with sympathy.
"Awww...I sorry Master. I know what will make you feel better!" The little robot said, his sympathetic look turning into a smile.
"GAH, OH IRK NO!" Zim yelled, looking at Gir in fear. "Everytime you try to make me 'feel better', I take one more step towards insanity!"
Wait...he's not insane yet?
Gir's face immediatly fell and it looked almost ready to cry. And yes, this little robot can cry, too. Strange, yes, but this robot is the definition of strange. Zim's face softened after a few seconds and finally he sighed, allowing Gir to do whatever it had planned. Automatically, the antenna ontop of Gir's head sunk into it's head and it opened up, releasing..something from it, and Gir quickly ran to his master and gave him a hug. Zim looked at his robot in surprize as it buried it's face in his chest. Actually, it was kinda cute. Those two have a weird master-servent/big brother-little brother relationship, this scene pretty much proves it. Suddenly, Gir let go on Zim and jumped onto his head all in 5 milliseconds and grabbed the broken antenna again with one hand-er...clamp, and held up a white item with the other. Zim, of course was freaking out, which is a funny sight by the way, and as quick as it began, Gir jumpped off of his head and looked at his master with a victorious smile. I looked back up at Zim and noticed that 1) his broken antenna wasn't bent anymore and 2) where it was broken was replaced with a white ring of medical tape around it.
It seemed to take a while for Zim to notice Gir was no longer on his head, because he was still flailing around for a while until he looked at Gir beside me and stopped, both on his antennae moved forward.
"Eh?" He asked, and Gir and I giggled at him slightly. "Zim knew he wasn't there anymore!"
His antennae moved back to their original position and he seemed to notice he wasn't in complete pain anymore. He reached up and felt around the medical tape.
"Master feel better now?" Gir asked, squeezing a rubber piggy that seemed to come from nowhere.
Zim looked down at the little blue robot with a surprized look on his face. "Ehhh..."
"TACOS!" Gir spontaniously yelled before dashing to the elevator.
"Oh...kay..." Both me and Zim responded, looking at the elevator wih disturbed faces. Zim, however quickly regained himself.
"Now, Dib-creature, what exactly were you doing snooping around my base?" I looked over to him as he crossed his arms.
"Hey, I just helped you! Don't get all ticked off so quick. And I called earlier but I now assume you were busy being stuck to answer."
"YOU DARE COMMMAND ZIM?"
"Geez, calm down. I just have a homework question. The sooner you answer the sooner I can be on my way out."
His eyes narrowed as I pulled out a peice of paper from my coat pockets.
"Now..." I began calmly, "Did you understand ANY of the math homework?"
The shine on Zim's red eyes shifted slightly again, and I'm pretty sure he rolled his eyes. It's hard to tell since his eyes are one solid color.
"Fine. Consider this repayment for helping me, and expect nothing more from the amazing ZIM! I AM ZIM!"
His fists flew into the air dramatically, and this time he wasn't in pain like before. This time, I was the one who rolled my eyes.
"I know who you are, Zim. No need to remind me."
x-x-x-x
Son of a buscuit! I yelled in my head, before realizing what I thought and decided I shouldn't hang out with Zim and Gir too much anymore. I held my hands over my head, causing the pain to..not be so painful anymore...(wow I coulda put that more intelligently.)
A few students passed through the hallways and laughed at my situation, which wasn't funny by the way! Soon I saw Zim in his disciuse walk by and roll his eyes, which since they now looked human, I could tell he rolled his eyes this time. Passing through the giggling students, he walked up to be and opened the door I was currently attached to, using his other hand to push my head out, freeing my hair from the closed door but sending me to the floor.
"Consider that repayment for yesterday, human." He said, closing the door while the other students whined about their entertainment being gone.
"But you already repayed me, remember?" I asked, getting up from the floor and dusting myself off.
"Hmmm...indeed I did. Fine then you owe me."
Greaaat. I thought, rolling my eyes.
"Ok with what?" I said, almost afraid to ask.
He thought for a moment before sliding an arm behind his back, most likely into that metal thing I think he calls a Pak, and brought out a peice of paper. I raised an eyebrow at said paper and he handed it to me.
"I require assistance on this subject you call English."
I no longer have MS word on my computer, so this may have a few mistakes and such. If you spot any, please inform me.
Don't you hate it when you get your hair stuck in the seatbelt or window or jacket zipper or backpack? I hate it and it happens on a daily basis! But I refuse to cut my hair. :(
I hope I did the characters justice. Especially Dib since it's in his point of view.
Feel free to review if you want.
-MidnightTwi
