Her subconscious decided she liked this numbness, this uncertainty. It was a comforting cocoon. If only it weren't for the goddamned memories, maybe she'd finally get some sleep.
"...Maybe even find out what a turian-human baby looks like."
Faded images, blurry voices and the mechanic screech of a Reaper was all that floated through her mind. After the Crucible was fired...what happened after that? How much time had passed? She was numb. Nothing was right. Where in the fuck was she? Her eyes moved underneath her lids.
"Forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you...come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you…"
Her body protected itself with a heavy biotic barrier. The L5X implants somehow had managed to survive the impact of the explosion. Didn't she wipe out all technology? Fuck.
She didn't know anymore.
Shepard took a breath. Her N7 dogtags were still on her neck. She was still in her armor. Numb. Useless. Immobile. Can't feel a goddamned thing. I think I'm hungry. She tried to laugh but had no voice.
Her emerald eyes tried to focus but she had no idea where she was. Bright, blinding white light shined down on her.
Am I dying? Fuck. No. I can't. Garrus. I want to find out what that baby will look like.
She tried to move. Useless. Immobile. Damn these implants.
Damn the Reapers for existing and damn their creator.
Damn the batarian raiders that enslaved and murdered everyone she knew when she was sixteen.
Damn Cerberus for experimenting with thresher maws and killing her squad.
Damn the Illusive Man for killing Anderson.
Damn the galaxy for placing this weight on her, for depending on her and damn herself for being their savior.
She was finally happy. Why did she have to save the fucking universe and all those people that feared and respected her if it cost her her life?
That wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all. Tears poured out of her eyes and she wanted to sob.
The pain...she was on fire. Oh god she was on fire. Every nerve in her system was collapsing, her every cell was exploding, her head was pounding. She saw blood in the corner of her eyes. She was boiling in her own blood.
She was dying.
A voice. Light. Flashlight? Footsteps.
"Shepard, we're going to get you out of here." A female voice...accent...Miranda?
Fucking Lazarus Project 2.0. But Cerberus is dealt with...
"If...can...hear me..Shep...we're..you to...Alliance...facility...implants...repair. Nobody...know...too...much...press...take...months...to...heal."
Shepard wanted to open her mouth, but found she couldn't speak. Everything went black, and the numbness covered her again.
Garrus...
The deep navy sheets covered their naked bodies. Liara checked her omni-tool.
4:45 A.M.
She had to get moving. She had to leave before...
Her blue eyes trailed to the turian sleeping next to her and she closed her eyes.
Oh Goddess...what have I done? Oh, Shepard...
No. She shook her head. Shepard was dead.
Liara sent out her forces and they scoured the galaxy and she was no where to be found. The galaxy confirmed their savior's death a month after the war.
It was final.
Liara rubbed her eyes with her thumbs and placed her hand on her forehead.
Last night...
Last night she had sex with Garrus Vakarian. And it was really, really good. Her body grew warm as she remembered the way he bit her neck and had held her down while he...
She shook off the thought and gently climbed out of his bed. Two options weighed down in her mind, either keep herself occupied until he woke up or get dressed and get the hell out of his apartment. Sudden nausea overwhelmed her and she ran to the bathroom, leaned over the porcelain bowl and released the contents of her alcohol filled body.
A cool three fingered talon touched her back and she looked up into his lovely cobalt eyes. As his talons gently traced up to her neck, goosebumps covered her bare blue body.
She almost wanted to purr, but was interrupted as more bile left her mouth. Liara coughed and spit into the toilet and Garrus smirked.
"Can't hold your liquor, huh, T'soni?"
Oh...oh Goddess...what have I done?
Garrus slipped on a night suit and placed her undergarments next to the puking asari. He walked into the small kitchen of his apartment and brought out a few bottles of water.
He sipped the water and watched as she leaned against his bathroom wall and sighed.
Her nimble hands grabbed the bottle and she took a swig. She saw her panties and black bra and she wanted to blush.
Garrus saw what her eyes landed on and he swallowed the liquid in his mouth.
"I'll...get you something to wear." He stepped out and she lost sight of him.
She quickly slipped her underwear and bra on and he returned with a big black N7 shirt.
Shepard's shirt...
Liara nodded and grabbed it from his hands. "Thanks."
He murmured something softly, turned to leave and closed the door behind him.
She stared at the shirt in her hands and dry, stale sobs escaped her throat.
"Oh Goddess...forgive me."
Author's Notes: Just for clarification, Shepard's body was recovered three weeks after the Crucible was fired, but kept a secret.
It's been two months since the Reaper war and nobody knows she's alive.
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