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-oXo-
A Dark Cloud and a Bright Sun
Chapter 2:
Pain, immense pain. Deep inside, all he felt was pain and nothing else.
Walking into the street where he lived, he noticed something was off, different. No one was greeting him, no one waved at him as he got home from school. Where was everyone?
Slowly following his way home, nothing seemed to be right. He could feel something was very wrong. As a cold shiver ran down his spine, young Sasuke broke out into a run, wanting to get home fast. This didn't feel right.
Arriving at their house, he ran up the few steps and opened the front door, quickly hurrying inside. As he opened the door from the hall, he hoped to see his mom behind the kitchen counter, preparing dinner and greeting him. He slowly stepped into the room.
All that greeted him was red… Red blood was everywhere, covering the walls, the floor, even the ceiling. And in the middle of the room was his mother, not smiling at him, but lying still and lifeless. Her empty eyes stared at him.
"M-mom?" Shocked Sasuke stepped forward, into the pool of red, kneeling down beside his mother. "Mom?" He didn't dare to touch her, he was too afraid. Tears were falling down his cheeks.
"She's dead."
Sasuke turned around, looking up shocked to find his brother standing in the doorway to their father's study.
"N-No, she can't be," Sasuke cried.
Itachi looked down, looking sad. Blood was covering the front of his blue shirt and his hands. When he saw Sasuke stare at them, Itachi tried to move them away, but Sasuke had already seen them. "It's… dad's," he said softly.
Sasuke started shivering, unable to comprehend everything. "Why? What happened?" he cried, yelling at his brother.
Itachi stepped forward, closer to his little brother. "It will be alright." His voice shook.
"What happened?" Sasuke asked again, tears falling down his cheeks.
Itachi hunched down and hugged his brother. "They were murdered." He lifted Sasuke up and walked out of their home.
Sasuke yelled, and screamed, telling Itachi to put him down, take him back to their mother. "Kaa-san!" His arm reached for their mother as she disappeared from view. "Mom!"
Itachi cried as he knew his little brother couldn't see him. "They will not come back."
Sasuke would yell until he lost his voice, kick and punch until his arms and legs couldn't move anymore, but while he would eventually regain his voice and energy, he would never be able to get rid of the pain and emptiness inside his heart.
Pain, immense pain. Deep inside, all he felt was pain and nothing else.
Until a certain rainy day, when he saw a certain blond boy standing in an empty street, yelling on top of his lungs. A sparkle of happiness had been born: he wasn't the only one in pain.
-x-
Staring in front of him, not really seeing his teammates spar, he blinked. Four days, including their journey over here, had passed. The mission (protecting some important jewellery from customers at the inn) had been finished.
All they had been required to do was take turns guarding the safe, while the others stood lined up unnoticeably through the inn. It had been a good thing that they had to move around individually, because this way Sasuke and Naruto hadn't needed to be close together during the day. Sasuke had tried to talk to Naruto once, when he came to take over his place to guard the safe, but Naruto had told him to go away, screaming at him. Sasuke hadn't dared to say anything else, not wanting to create a scene.
Every night, Naruto would immediately move into the bathroom, locking it, before Sasuke could even blink. Sasuke hadn't slept a lot, which made it even harder to pay attention to his teammates' sparring. He had made a lot of mistakes during training, which had made Kakashi decide to put him aside and let him observe the other two instead of joining them.
He couldn't help it, he was tired, but every time Naruto got close to attack him (and he could see Naruto was meaning every punch he threw at him) he was hardly able to dodge.
Feeling bruised all over, Sasuke turned to look at Kakashi, who stood beside him. Kakashi had taken him apart, trying to find out what was wrong with the boy.
"Not feeling well?" he asked, already knowing Sasuke would never admit it if he was ill or not feeling well, rather falling down unconscious than admitting it.
"Hn," was Sasuke's answer, as he crossed his arms.
"I see," Kakashi said, which made Sasuke look up at him. "It's the single bed."
Sasuke was sure Kakashi would be able to hear his heart beating. "What?" he asked gruffly.
"I know Naruto is quite… the restless sleeper. I bet he pushes you out of the bed at least four times a night."
"Hn." Sasuke looked down; glad Kakashi had come to this conclusion as a reason for him being so tired.
"I know it's not ideal, Sasuke, but you need to be able to sleep in a lot of hard conditions during more difficult missions. You need to save your energy, and regain it in every possible way. You better get yourself some good night of sleep soon. The mission is over, but otherwise it could cost you your head… or that of someone else." Kakashi let his hand fall on Sasuke's shoulder, and his eye made some happy half-moon motion. "Just push back, I'm sure Naruto will not even notice." He turned away and looked back at the fighting pair.
Sasuke was far from being happy, but at least this feeling of relieve that Kakashi wasn't aware of what was really going on felt good.
Kakashi called the other two over to have lunch.
Sakura and Naruto were already in conversation, telling each other what had gone wrong and what was good about their fight.
"You sure made a strange jump when you spun around, trying to avoid my Rasengan," Naruto laughed.
"Haha," Sakura laughed along, "at least I didn't get hit like Sasuke-kun." She looked over to the raven boy. "Did it leave a mark?" she asked concerned, seeing his angry face.
"Hardly," Sasuke said grumpily. He could actually feel the scratch it had left behind on his arm, but he would never admit that.
"But talking about strange movements," Sakura continued, noticing Sasuke wasn't in the mood to be pointed on his mistakes, "you were being really stupid thinking you could use a kunai to stop me from punching you."
"It really wasn't that stupid," Naruto huffed.
"All you could do was avoid my punches. It was like playing whack-a-mole," Sakura laughed.
Naruto wasn't charmed by her laughing. "I was trying something out!"
"What? A new stupid dance?" Sakura laughed.
This was the moment Sasuke would find out he wasn't the only one not sleeping well. Naruto's fuse was short too today.
"You know what's stupid?" he asked her angrily, standing up, stunning Sakura by his sudden outburst. "For a guy to kiss another guy in the middle of the night." Naruto huffed and walked away, leaving the rest of his team stunned.
Sasuke looked up hurt by Naruto's words. Naruto didn't need to look angrily at him; he could feel the arrow aimed at him painfully run through his chest without seeing Naruto's eyes.
"Huh? What was all that about?" Sakura asked, looking over to Sasuke, who stared back dully. She looked over to Kakashi, who shrugged.
-x-
He couldn't believe how happy he had been when they had gone on this trip, seeing that everything was so sunny and bright. He was sure everything would turn out alright.
How wrong he had been. Curled up against the wall, sitting on the bed, he felt cold and empty again. He hadn't felt empty for such a long time, but now that now it was back, it felt double as bad as it had once done.
Seeing Sasuke's performance on the training field worsen with the minute, Kakashi had called them all together, and had told them they would do something else. Individual assignments to improve the abilities they were worst at.
Sasuke, being certain he would need to be around Kakashi to train his Sharingan, had already started walking away like the rest, to find an isolated place to train. However, Kakashi had stopped him and told him to go sleep, take some rest. Sasuke had struggled, said he didn't needed it, but Kakashi had just walked off, giving him one final (warningly) look.
There was a reason Sasuke didn't want to sleep. Now he was alone in a room, free to his thoughts. Why else would he not have been able to sleep before? This was the whole point, he needed distraction.
Still, after not having closed an eye for two and a half nights, sleep finally set in, and Sasuke sunk down the wall, softly breathing. Only to be woken up by a door closing loudly. Immediately he shot up, which made Naruto turn to him, shocked, and looking surprised at the raven's presence.
"What are you doing here?" he asked before remembering he was angry at the raven. He was about to turn around and leave again, but Sasuke had made up his mind. The short nap had given him some energy, making him able to stand in front of the door before Naruto could reach for the handle. "Let me through," Naruto demanded.
"No, we need to talk."
Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Why?"
"About…" Sasuke looked up into those fierce, angry blue eyes. "About what happened that night."
Naruto's eyebrows came down so far, making him look so angry, that Sasuke was sure he had never seen the boy like this ever before. "I wouldn't know why," Naruto spat at him, "now let me through." He tried to push Sasuke aside, throwing in all of his weight against the raven, but Sasuke had made up his mind; he needed to talk to Naruto.
"We kissed," he spurted out.
Naruto stopped his pushing, but didn't look up to Sasuke, still leaning against him. "You kissed me," he accused. "Don't twist the truth!" he spat.
Sasuke closed his eyes. "I… I did."
Naruto froze up, having expected Sasuke to deny everything again, not to agree. He swallowed. Did he hear that right? "You kissed me while I was asleep…" he stated. Though it was a question, it didn't quite sound like one.
Sasuke nodded. Naruto felt the motion as his shoulder pressed against Sasuke's collarbone. "I did."
Seeing that Naruto wasn't yelling at him anymore, or tried to beat him to a pulp, Sasuke took a breath. He needed to tell the truth, it was the only way.
"I… I like you."
He was dizzy, not sure if it was because he was still tired or because of the deafening silence hanging in the room, but Sasuke was sure he wouldn't be able to keep his legs from shaking for much longer. Naruto hadn't responded in any way. Not the slightest intake of a breath, not a sound, not a word, no action at all. He just stood there, still leaning against Sasuke, his hand on the doorknob.
Then, without a word, Naruto pushed Sasuke aside easily, and walked out of the room.
Unable to stand any longer, Sasuke slid down the wall until he sat on the ground. Unable to move; it was like he was stunned. He stared at the bed, but didn't see it. He breathed, but he didn't know it. He was alive, but he didn't feel it.
He had finally told Naruto. It didn't make him feel as he had expected, or had hoped to feel, at all. It felt worse, much worse, while on the other hand he felt nothing. Emptiness. The emptiness was back.
-x-
Itachi sat down in front of him, smiling brightly, having congratulated him over and over again; it actually made Sasuke feel sick.
"Stop it," he told his older brother.
"Stop what?"
"Smiling."
"But you are a genin, you passed Kakashi-san's test; I'm very proud."
"You became a genin when you were much younger. You were already an ANBU at this age." Sasuke folded his arms.
Itachi laid his hand on Sasuke's pointy hairstyle. "Little brother, life isn't about age. You just do your best to become a great ninja, without looking at me. Have fun, live, play-"
"I'm 12, I don't play."
"You are only 12 years old, you should play. It's healthy."
Sasuke glared at him.
Itachi's face changed, a smile, an almost sad smile, but a proud smile too, was on his face. "Mom and dad would have been proud."
Sasuke's frown dropped, and he looked over to the small cabinet where a picture of their parents stood, incense spreading a familiar smell.
"You think so?" Sasuke asked carefully, unsure.
Itachi turned to Sasuke. "Of course they would." Sasuke looked up, smiling. "They really would be."
Sasuke was happy for the first time without having to be around or think of a certain boy. It was the first time he actually felt the emptiness being filled up. His chest literally swelled up with joy as he breathed in.
Itachi hadn't seen his brother really smile like this since their parents' death.
-x-
Naruto hadn't returned for the night, Sasuke had no idea where he had stayed to sleep, but when he saw him the next morning outside the inn, he realized he probably hadn't slept a lot anyway.
Since they were told to do their individual assignments again, Sasuke didn't see Naruto again until dinner, which Naruto practically inhaled. He acted cheerily during dinner, like everything was normal; Naruto was good at putting up a fake front.
After dinner they played cards for a short while, until Sasuke had socialized enough, and went to bed. He preferred to be alone every now and then, and since he always had done so, no one noticed something was off between the two boys at all.
Sasuke had been sitting and lying on the bed the rest of the evening, trying to distract his mind from the happy blond boy somewhere else in the building. Sasuke spent his time making a groceries list in his head for when he got back home. The fact that Itachi would make sure the fridge was filled was beside the point.
Later that evening, Naruto opened the door and silently stepped in, Sasuke almost hadn't heard him. He sat up, though he didn't expect Naruto to talk to him. He was right. Naruto, without looking at him, went straight for the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Sasuke slumped down. At least he didn't slam with the door anymore. He lay back on the bed (still without a blanket, not daring to ask for a new one). He shivered before he closed his eyes, ready to fall asleep.
When he heard the door of the bathroom open again, he expected Naruto to leave; he probably came to get his blanket. However, he didn't hear any other door opening or closing after that, so he decided to look up.
Naruto was staring at him, blanket in hand. Sasuke sat up, surprised Naruto was still there.
When Naruto didn't start talking, Sasuke decided Naruto was waiting for him to speak up first. "You… want to sleep in the bed?" he asked.
Naruto blinked. "Huh?" He looked down at the bed. "Oh, no, the floor is fine, I'm used to it."
"Oh."
Quite an uncomfortable silence followed, until Naruto started twisting and turning.
"You mind," he asked.
Sasuke looked at him, not sure what he was asking.
"You mind if I sleep in here? The bathroom floor is so cold… and so little space," he almost muttered.
"No, of course, go ahead."
Sasuke couldn't believe Naruto needed to ask; normally he would just do it.
"You won't feel… uncomfortable?" Naruto asked.
"No… you?"
Naruto shrugged before dropping the blanked and lying down, turning off the lights.
When everything became silent, Sasuke couldn't help it as a small smile formed on his lips.
-x-
The next day, everything had turned back to normal… Well, almost everything. Naruto yelled at him, they were able to spar normally, Naruto joked around, Sakura laughed and tried to win Sasuke over, Kakashi read his perverted book, and Sasuke was quiet. The only thing off was that Naruto didn't meet Sasuke's eyes. It was like he was afraid to see what was in there.
Tomorrow they would head back home again, and Sasuke actually didn't mind to be able to get back into his own bed again; his own room. Only Itachi could pester him there, but luckily he needed to leave for missions to, more often than Sasuke did.
Lying on the mattress, Sasuke looked over to Naruto as he lay on the floor, rolled up in the blanket. He had his back to Sasuke, so he couldn't see his face, but he knew Naruto was still awake.
He turned over to his back and looked at the dark ceiling. "You remember our mission in the land of lightning?" he asked, not sure where this was going. He never was much of a talker once the lights had turned off (actually he was never much of a talker, but at least during the day he did produce some words).
"Lightning?" Naruto asked. Sasuke could hear him turn over.
"Hm, we got hit by a jutsu from some strange clan."
"Ah, you couldn't stop laughing; I remember," Naruto sniggered.
"Yes," Sasuke muttered, "but at least that was better than you being unable to stop cackling."
Naruto pouted, Sasuke couldn't see, but he knew. "That was not funny."
"I thought so."
"What?" Naruto asked, surprised and angry.
Sasuke grinned. "I couldn't stop laughing about it."
Naruto turned over to Sasuke, before he started to laugh. "Oh, is that why you couldn't stop laughing, I thought it was the jutsu."
Sasuke silently chuckled. "I fooled you."
"Sure did."
Slowly Naruto's laughing died down, and everything became silent again.
"I'm glad we were lost back then, and that the jutsu wore off before we found the others," Naruto said.
"Hn, yeah." Sasuke closed his eyes again and turned to lie on his side. He heard Naruto shuffle inside his cocoon. He wished he had a blanket too, he was freezing, but he was already glad Naruto was sleeping in the same room again.
"You still angry?" He had asked it before he realized he had asked the question out loud.
Naruto didn't say anything for some time, so Sasuke started to hope he was already asleep, and hadn't heard.
"I… I don't know." Naruto had heard him after all. Naruto turned again; the boy really couldn't lie still at all. "I don't know what to think."
"You hate me for doing it?" Sasuke asked, referring to the kiss.
"I don't like 'hate', it's a… wrong word," Naruto said silently. Sasuke understood, probably better than Naruto knew. "I'm not happy you did it, and I'm still mad you denied doing it, and I'm angry you thought you could… could k-kiss me like that." Naruto blushed, but Sasuke would never know.
"I don't know if it matters, but… I'm really sorry."
Naruto was baffled by Sasuke's apology, which was the reason he couldn't think of anything to say for over almost ten minutes. Sasuke already thought Naruto had fallen sleep, and was about to do the same when suddenly Naruto spoke up again after all.
"Hinata kissed me a week ago."
Sasuke had no idea why Naruto had to bring that up right now of all moments. It was almost as if he needed to tell Sasuke that he had been kissed before. "Oh," was all that left Sasuke's mouth. It sounded almost like a groan instead of a word.
"I pulled back. It was an automatic reaction; I don't know why I did it." Naruto sighed. "You think that's weird?"
Weird, no; surprising… yes. "I don't know," Sasuke said. He had no idea what Naruto wanted from him by telling him this.
"Girls…" Naruto moved inside his cocoon, making his next words inaudible. Apparently Naruto had noticed too that the words hadn't been clear, because he twisted some more, and finally sat up. "How come you like me while girls have been following you around ever since you were 9?"
Immediately Sasuke remembered the swing, he was sure Naruto was thinking about that too.
"I was 10 back then," Sasuke said.
"And I was 9," Naruto countered.
It was quiet again.
"You didn't answer my question," Naruto said after a while. He moved closer to the bed.
Sasuke sat up too, looking down at the strange white figure beside the bed. The white cocoon made Naruto look like a huge maggot (which was actually quite funny).
"Y-" Sasuke stopped. What should he say?
"You don't like girls?" Naruto changed the question.
"Not really."
"You never tried to look at one as… as a friend?"
"No, they are all annoying."
"You never thought of having a girlfriend?"
Sasuke could tell Naruto was honestly curious, not meaning to make him feel uncomfortable; he really wanted to understand him. Sasuke was glad for that.
"After my parents died, I felt lonely… empty."
"It must be hard to lose your parents," Naruto said softly.
All Sasuke could do was nod. "I felt like no one understood me. Everyone pitied me, tried to comfort me, but no one understood what it was like to feel empty. I had Itachi, but he was away for missions a lot, he needed to take care of me… of the both of us."
Sasuke had never told anyone before, and was actually surprised how… easy it was to tell Naruto. "I was angry at everyone. It was like they tried to make me forget my parents, like they had never been killed, just had gone on a long vacation or something. It was like they were denying everything. It hurt, they had been murdered, and no one even tried to find the bastard who had done it." Sasuke clenched his fists. "I felt empty."
He looked over to the cocoon with yellow hair. "Until I met you."
"At the swings?" Naruto asked, wondering how that could have changed Sasuke's emptiness.
"No, before that."
Naruto thought this over, he knew he wasn't good at remembering faces, but he really couldn't think of a time he had met Sasuke before then.
"You didn't see me when I first met you."
"Oh."
"I think it was your foster parent whom you were yelling at in the rain," Sasuke started.
Naruto was silent, he didn't remember that exact memory; there were a lot of those memories, but he was fazed by the fact that Sasuke knew about that at all. "Oh."
Sasuke laughed nervously. "Seeing you yelling at her in the rain… I could see you knew what it was like to be empty inside; for people to not really know you. I was interested in you."
"You were? All we ever do is fight." Naruto frowned.
"Yeah…but somehow, through the fighting, I feel like there is a connection between us."
"I honestly have never felt like that," Naruto blurted out.
Silence fell before Sasuke started laughing.
"What? What's so funny?" Naruto asked, not liking to be left out of the fun.
"Nothing, that's just…"
"Just what? Like me?"
"Yes."
"Oh." Naruto pouted again, curling up inside the blanket. "You still didn't answer my question," Naruto said again after a while.
"No, I never thought of any girl as a girlfriend. Love never really interested me."
"What?" Naruto asked confused.
"That's what you asked."
"Oh, I meant the other question." Why had he 'chosen' to like him? That was the question Naruto had been referring to.
"Oh." Sasuke tried to think back what the other question had been, when Naruto suddenly gasped.
"Hold on!" Sasuke looked down at Naruto, seeing he was looking up at him. "You liked me… for how long?"
Sasuke hadn't expected that. Naruto was never the brightest. He hadn't thought Naruto would ask that. Maybe telling Naruto all this hadn't been such a good idea after all.
"I don't know," Sasuke shrugged.
Naruto narrowed his eyes. "You do, I can tell." Naruto moved so he could lean on his knees. "How long? I thought it was just recently, but…" Naruto's eyes grew, and he moved back from Sasuke. "Ever since then?"
"Since when?" Sasuke asked confused.
"No way… that…" Naruto moved further away.
"What? Since when?" Sasuke asked again, afraid of Naruto's answer.
"We were so young…" Naruto took a dramatically breath.
"What?" Sasuke almost wanted to stand up and kick Naruto against his head. "No! What are you thinking?"
Naruto shrugged. "I don't know, I have no idea how love works." He looked up stunned after he finished his sentence watching Sasuke's reaction. "I mean… of course I know! What I meant was… that I… I-"
"I know you don't," Sasuke said softly.
Still on a safe distance away from Sasuke, Naruto sat frozen. "W-What do you mean?"
"You never had parents, or anyone that loved you when you were small. I've seen the way adults treated you when you were young. It's not that strange that you don't know what love is. Everyone ignored you, or sneered at you. You never did anything wrong, they just seemed to hate you without a reason." Sasuke looked away. "It's not weird at all, or something to be embarrassed about."
Naruto looked down, not answering.
"I started to like you about three years ago," Sasuke said softly.
"You never…" Naruto was still stunned by Sasuke's words that he at first hadn't even realized that Sasuke had given him an answer. When finally he realized what Sasuke had said, he frowned. "You never showed me or said anything. I thought you hated me."
"I don't. I just…" Sasuke shrugged. "I don't know."
"You don't know how to express yourself," Naruto stated.
"Maybe."
Naruto lay down again, curling up, lying on his back. Sasuke lay back too. Slowly his eyes closed, unable to keep them open much longer, they felt so heavy.
About to fall asleep, Naruto startled Sasuke with his sudden words. "I still don't know what to think," Naruto told him. "Just give me time."
Everything became quiet again. The corners of Sasuke's mouth curled up ever so slightly.
-x-
"Rheaaaaagh!"
They both sat up when a scream was heard. Sasuke looked down at Naruto as the blond turned on a light, noticing he was only wearing his orange boxers when the blanket fell down his body. When Naruto noticed Sasuke watching him, he blushed and started looking for his shirt.
"What was that?" the blond asked as his shirt was on, still red in the face, not looking Sasuke in the eye.
"A scream from a woman, dobe."
Naruto looked up when he heard the name calling, looking Sasuke in the eye for a brief second before frowning and looking away. "Of course, I know that." Naruto stood up, and so did Sasuke.
Shivering from the cold, Sasuke walked to the door with Naruto. The blond opened it and they both listened, looking around the dark hallway.
"I think it came from that way," Sasuke whispered, pointing left.
"Are you sure?" Naruto whispered back, looking the other way, trying to push Sasuke away from him, thinking he was standing too close by.
"Hn."
Naruto stepped out of the room, and started walking down the hallway in the direction Sasuke had said. Walking behind him, Sasuke made sure not to make any sound to give his location away. He probably was so good at it that Naruto needed to look back a couple of times to see if he was still there.
Suddenly Naruto stopped, and Sasuke bumped into him. Naruto angrily turned around and pushed Sasuke back, before pasting himself against the wall again. They were standing beside a corner. Moving closer to Naruto again, Sasuke listened to any sound that he thought Naruto might be hearing. Why else had he stopped?
When Naruto felt Sasuke's shoulder touch his, he groped for the raven's shoulder to push him off again. "Not so close," he muttered, before turning around the corner and sneaked away.
Sasuke followed without question.
"Oaaah!" came the voice again, right from the room Naruto was passing. He jumped away from the wall up against the one on the other side, holding his chest.
Without further question, or warning to Sasuke, Naruto barged right into the room before Sasuke could even stop him to form a plan or tell him to wait.
"Stop ri-" Naruto stopped in the door, his mouth falling open. Sasuke had never seen Naruto change color this fast. He was as red as a lighthouse in no time.
"Sorry." Naruto had closed the door so fast that Sasuke hadn't even been able to look inside, and thus had no idea what was going on.
"What hap-"
"Let's go, nothing you're interested in," Naruto told him, pulling him along.
Still confused, Sasuke followed the still deep red Naruto. He could actually feel the warmth radiating from him. "Naruto?" he asked when they neared their room again.
Naruto didn't answer, just pushed him inside, closed the door, rolled up in his blanket, and ignored Sasuke.
"What happened in there?" Sasuke asked, sitting down on the bed.
"Nothing."
"If it was nothing you wouldn't have reacted like this."
"Just shut up about it." Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "And you should pull on something warmer, you're freezing." Naruto covered his head in the blanket, making sure Sasuke understood he didn't want to talk anymore.
-x-
He opened his eyes, lazily blinking a few times before he started looking around. Apparently he had fallen asleep, he didn't know when, but looking out to the moon he noticed it was night.
When he had come home, tired of practice, he had gone straight to bed. He looked over to the door, noticing it was slightly ajar. Itachi had at a time peered into the room to see if he was home.
Sasuke groaned, remembering the reason he had woken up, still feeling it. He tried to sit up, while looking down his sheets. A couple of weeks ago he had woken up with the same thing happening. Except this time he could remember what he had been dreaming about, and… he stared at the sheets, which were wet.
He wasn't sure why recently he had started dreaming about that kiss with Naruto back when he was 12, but when waking up after having such a dream, he always felt happy and some other strange feeling he couldn't quite place. This morning his happiness however, had taken shape, which it had never done before.
Feeling slightly uncomfortable, even though his stomach was still churning excitedly, he slowly tried to move out of the bed, but the motions rubbed against his sensitive erection, making him stop. His breath hitched. He shivered from pleasure. He was lost; he didn't know what to do.
Then the door opened, and Sasuke quickly pulled up his legs, turning red in an instant.
"Ah, you're awake," Itachi said, stepping in, noticing Sasuke sit on his bed, blushing... "Oh." This made Sasuke blush even more.
"Well, the shower is free," he said as if he told people that all the time, "I'm going to bed." Sasuke thought for a moment that he saw Itachi smile before he closed the door. "Night," it sounded at the other side.
Sasuke let his head fall onto his knees, giving a frustrated and embarrassed sigh. "I hate you," he muttered softly into his knees.
-x-
Three months had passed since their excursion to the inn. A lot had changed, or so Sasuke thought. Naruto had said nothing about Sasuke's confession, and neither had Sasuke. It was there, but it wasn't driving them apart. On the contrary, ever since Sasuke had opened up to Naruto he had found out that he could talk much easier to the blond. They still fought, like always, that would probably never change, but slowly they had really become friends.
Naruto no longer saw Sasuke only as a rival, no longer thought he hated him. They talked, not that much, but a lot more than they had once done; though it was mostly Naruto that did the talking. Naruto had even invited Sasuke over once when he had found out Itachi was out of town. Never would Sasuke go over to Naruto's place again, seeing his messy, dirty and above all dusty room and apartment. Instead he invited Naruto over to his home, making sure he knew how a properly cleaned house looked like.
Naruto and Hinata had made things up, proceeding their 'dating' as they had done before. This was the only thing that still pained Sasuke. Naruto ignored his confession, became friends instead (nothing wrong with that at all, he had just hoped for more), and had walked away with Hinata.
And so it came that Sasuke was sitting at Sakura's house, eating dinner with her family. He had thought maybe he should try liking Sakura, seeing Naruto was doing the same, and since she tried so hard, but he had never intended to be invited to her house immediately after he had asked her if she was hungry.
Grumpily staring in front of him, he tried to hide his frown every time Mr. or Mrs. Haruno looked at him, smiling. Making sure he would ignore Sakura all day tomorrow if he survived this, maybe make her break a nail or two (killing was not his style), was all that kept Sasuke from running off right then and there… Oh, and his good manners.
"So glad to have you over," Sakura's mother said again, smiling at him.
"Hn."
"Sakura is always talking about you, Sasuke-kun this, Sasuke-kun-"
"Mo~m!" Sakura warned her, placing dessert on the table. She looked over to Sasuke as her mother walked to the kitchen. "Just ignore her," she told him.
Sasuke watched Sakura as she walked over to the kitchen too, her hands filled with empty pots and pans.
"She's a real bother," Mr. Haruno told Sasuke, who looked around at the man to his right, and saw him chuckle. "Just like her mother, but she sure can cook." He smiled.
Sasuke moved away ever so slowly, not sure what to say to the man, feeling more and more uncomfortable by the minute.
"Oh, Sakura-chan, you sure have outdone yourself this time," her mother said, putting down a tray.
"Don't call me Sakura-chan," Sakura whispered to her mother, "You never do!"
Her mother giggled, putting down bowls with ice-cream in front of everyone.
"I'm so sorry," Sakura told Sasuke once more that evening. And once more, Sasuke wished he was dead… not for real; though lying in a coffin sure was a lot more appealing than sitting here with Sakura's parents.
Sakura's mother sat down and kept smiling at Sasuke. A shiver ran down Sasuke's spine. He would have to eat the ice fast, and then tell Mr. and Mrs. Haruno he needed to go. That was the plan. Simple, but… it just had to work.
-x-
Sasuke sighed as he walked through the dark streets on his way home. His plan had worked, partly. Sakura's parents had somehow talked him over into at least going upstairs to go see Sakura's bedroom (for some strange reason Sasuke couldn't comprehend), while they would clean up the dishes.
First of all, Sakura's bedroom looked like a normal bedroom; nothing special. A little too much decoration to Sasuke's taste, but he just like plain and ordinary, everyone has his/her own taste. (At least she had a clean room in contrast to Naruto's).
Second of all, Sasuke doubted if her parents were really doing the dishes instead of lying in front of their daughter's bedroom door. Either way, Sasuke and Sakura had just talked for a bit, nothing special, nothing fancy. Sakurahad been apologizing a lot about her parents, but he deserved the apologies, so Sasuke didn't complain.
Finally, after an hour, Sasuke had been able to set foot outside, and a door was closing behind him.
Maybe this was partly why he liked Naruto. He didn't have any relatives at all, no one to bother him, to ask stupid questions… His shoulders slumped. He was just making up excuses. He shouldn't be comparing Sakura to Naruto, it wasn't fair. They were so different.
He wondered if he could ever love anyone beside Naruto. Maybe love was not reserved for him; maybe it was better this way. He could focus on becoming a ninja, working up to become an ANBU.
However, a stinging pain in his chest told him otherwise, but he would just need to get over it. Naruto was doing the same. He liked Hinata and she liked him. They were cute together, something not even Sasuke could deny.
He just would have liked to become more than just friends; to do more than just 'hanging out' after training every now and then. He was glad they were at least in the same team, seeing each other every day, either on the field or at school.
He was thankful he could be more open to Naruto, like there was a heavy veil lifted and showed Naruto his past; it was a burden falling off his shoulders. Naruto had done the same to him as well, they could tell what troubled them, but most importantly they could laugh and be happy around each other, for real.
Naruto understood him like no one else… okay, beside Itachi; beside family. Their fighting had not become les, but their training sessions had improved in teamwork. Sasuke could actually predict five times out of ten what Naruto was planning to do (which was a real achievement, seeing Naruto's unpredictable nature). Naruto was also starting to see in what way Sasuke worked on the field. It felt good to be able to work as a real team.
Sasuke had never expected he would think something like that. He couldn't believe this all had come forth out of a one week excursion through hell (and through hell it had certainly been). Naruto sometimes was still weary on touching him, but Sasuke could live with that (not really, but he tried). At least he looked him in the eyes again, it had taken a few weeks, but Sasuke wasn't even bothered by it anymore.
He kicked a rock onto the street. It was late, already dark, but otherwise Sasuke would have liked to visit Naruto, and tell him about his evening at Sakura's home. Naruto would make him laugh about his stiffness, doing impressions of how he thought Sasuke had been like around Sakura's parents. He would ask Sakura tomorrow how she was able to keep her sanity, or tell her how bored Sasuke had been, much to the raven's annoyance.
He would like that, he would like to see the blond, but it was too late. He better head home.
As Sasuke looked up, he noticed someone standing at the bridge, staring at him. A small smile appeared on his face as he walked over to the bridge.
It was like he had known.
-x-
Naruto sat on the railing of a bridge, moving his legs back and forth as he looked down into the water.
In the reflection he saw yellow hair, two blue eyes, orange clothing and a hand resting on top of his. Beside him a dark-haired person was sitting, looking at him and smiling, clothed in dark and white clothing. The water showed no details, but Naruto could fill them in with his memory.
"I like the moon," the soft voice beside him said.
Naruto looked up too. "Hm, yes it's so bright, yet so pale."
Hinata looked over to him, not in the reflection, but at the actual person beside her. "Aren't you cold?" she asked.
Naruto looked down upon her. "No, are you?"
A shiver was the answer. Naruto smiled and moved closer, laying his arm around the girl's shoulder. "Better?" he asked, noticing the short distance between their faces.
"Yes," Hinata smiled.
Blushing, Naruto looked into Hinata's eyes. Ever since she had kissed him they had not tried again, neither of them. Maybe she was waiting for him to take the first step; wanting to be sure he was ready.
Nervously Naruto smiled. He was ready, he would show her last time was a mistake, his mistake. He would make up for it this time, right now.
Closing the distance between them, Naruto carefully touched Hinata's lips. He wasn't sure when to pull away again, afraid the kiss would be too short and disappointing, or too long and sticky. However, he would not need to worry about it, since Hinata was the one to pull back.
She looked up at him, a pink blush covering her cheeks.
"I'm sorry for last time," Naruto muttered.
"It's alright," Hinata said, but somehow it didn't reach her eyes. She looked sad.
"I really am!"
"I know, I believe you."
Naruto's face fell. "Was it that bad?" he asked, moving away from her.
"What was?" Hinata asked confused.
"The kiss?" Naruto mumbled.
"No, it wasn't, it's just…" her voice died down.
Naruto looked up. "Just what?" he asked, some fear was inside his voice.
"It's just that you don't love me," she told him. "Your heart is somewhere else." She laid her hand on Naruto's chest.
"What?" He hadn't expected her to say that.
Hinata smiled, not really sincerely, but beside the sadness in her smile she was really happy for him. "Sasuke is the one you should be with."
Naruto's eyes grew. "What?"
"He really likes you."
"How-how do you know?" Naruto asked stunned.
Hinata bit her lip. "The day after I kissed you for the first time, I talked to Sasuke. I asked him if he thought you liked me." Naruto was surprised about this. "He told me," Hinata looked into Naruto's eyes, "that you care for me."
"He did?" Naruto asked.
Hinata nodded. "When I looked up into his eyes I saw it. The way he feels about you." Hinata's hand moved from Naruto's chest to his shoulder. "He really loves you."
"Loves me?" Naruto asked stunned.
"Yes, he loves you."
"But… but I…" Naruto looked down, away from Hinata.
"And you like him," she told Naruto.
Naruto stared back into Hinata's soft purple colored eyes. "I do?"
"You do."
"But… I don't love him?"
"Not yet." Hinata smiled. "But you will."
"I will?" Naruto felt like a child talking to an adult that knew a lot more, that had seen the world; the good and the bad in it.
"Naruto-kun, don't worry. I know that you really do care for me, and you even tried to like me, perhaps even love me, but you don't. It's not your fault, it just is. But I know now that your heart doesn't long for me. The two of you somehow seem… connected." Hinata laid her hand on Naruto's cheek, making him look at her once more, making sure he understood her words. "Don't be afraid of his love for you, accept it, and be yourself. You will see what will happen."
"I… I don't know what to say. You've been so kind to me." Before he realized it, a tear was falling down his cheek. "I never wanted to hurt yo-"
"You didn't. I liked spending time with you, and I'm sure we still will. You're not hurting me at all. I'm sad, yes, but also happy; happy for you."
"You really are the best, Hinata-chan." Naruto hugged her, not believing she was still so kind to him, even now.
Hinata let go of him and stood up. "Go and tell him."
-x-
He sat across Itachi at the small counter dividing the room into kitchen and living room. His brother had been the one waiting for him at the bridge, grinning at him. On their walk back home, they hadn't spoken a single word. Quietly moving on.
"So, how was your date?" Itachi asked, still grinning at him.
"It wasn't a date, I told you."
"But you met her parents, didn't you? A bit early on a first date, I must admit, but-"
"It WASN'T a date!" Sasuke grumbled, hating his brother.
"Was it that bad? I know parents-in-law can be overwhelming, especially when meeting them for the first time, but-" Itachi stopped when he saw the look on his little brother's face.
"At least now I'm sure I can't date girls," Sasuke said, turning away, planning to go to his bed.
"You what?" Itachi asked surprised. "Really?" He sat up straight.
Realizing his mistake, Sasuke moved on, not wanting to confront Itachi right now about it, but Itachi had always been faster than him.
"Who's the lucky boy?" he asked, blocking the younger raven's way.
"Who said anything about a boy?" Sasuke moved backward, trying to find all possible options to avoid Itachi.
"You just did, you said you can't date girls."
"Doesn't mean I like boys," Sasuke turned around, dodging Itachi's arm before running into the other.
"Oh, I never said anything about boys; just one."
"There's nothing going on. Let me pass, I'm tired!"
Itachi smirked. "Not yet, huh?" he asked with a little too much joy in his voice.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Thinking it was best not to say anything from now on, Sasuke got free from Itachi's grip, and headed for the window instead: escape option #2. However, Itachi knew Sasuke quite well, anticipating all his next moves, and was already blocking his escape before Sasuke had taken two strides.
"You will bring him over, will you? I think I at least deserve the introduction, being his brother-in-law…"
"Shut up," Sasuke grumbled, pushing Itachi onto the couch. Grumpily he moved to his bed room. This time Itachi wasn't planning on thwarting him, he had said what he had wanted to say.
Smiling, the older raven lay down on the couch. "My little brother is growing up," he said proudly.
-oXo-
