Quite how she had got through the day Ruth didn't know, as message after message filtered in from Dimitri, as to the ever changing situation on the Hanover Star. Lucas had returned with Beth Bailey, who Harry appeared to know and had asked to help them. The situation had escalated to the point where lives would be put at risk, when they discovered that the Houses of Parliament was the intended target. For most of that time she had either stood or sat in Harry's office as he had pinched the bridge of his nose, held his head in his hands and then finally just before the Op required him to make an impossibly difficult decision, had dropped the bombshell that he had handed in his resignation.
Taking hold of his arm or putting her hand on his which in the past would have been her instinctive reaction was no longer appropriate, bearing in mind that she had recently rejected any sort of continued intimacy. Telling him that these were the sort of decisions that they needed him to make, implied that she spoke on behalf of the others and that she had a right to advise him what to do, which was no longer the case. Never the less, he had done as he always did and had saved the day.
The crisis averted and the phone call from the Home Secretary thanking Harry for making an incredibly difficult decision seemed to calm him, although he made no further comment other than to bid her goodnight as he exited the pods.
She felt awful, she was none the wiser as to how she was supposed to behave with him and more than that, she was missing the closeness that until recently they had enjoyed. Telling him that they couldn't be closer than they were now had been a monumentally stupid thing to do, especially as he had now told her that he was going to leave MI5 and would be gone from her life for ever. Closing down her computer and tidying her desk, she grabbed her coat, scarf and bag and headed out into the cold winter night. Knowing that to go home would result in another restless night and with no answer to her questions, she plucked up all the courage she had, hailed a taxi and gave the driver Harry's address.
Harry had no inclination to get drunk again, he was only just beginning to feel less jaded after the previous night's session, but by the same token he didn't want to go home. He had momentarily thought about heading up to the roof in the hope that Ruth might join him, but where would that lead other than to heap further misery on both of them. As he headed through the door of Thames House, it crossed his mind that in a few weeks' time, just as Malcolm and Tom Quinn once had he too would be heading out into the real world. He had told Tom that he envied him which at that stage in his career perhaps he had, but what would he do now. Apart from Catherine who kept in touch from time to time, he had no one. He had had such hopes that he and Ruth had a future together, but she had made it abundantly clear that her feelings for him went no further than that of a friend or maybe just a colleague. Feeling utterly alone, he headed towards the river and to the one place that he knew would always be theirs.
Arriving at Harry's house and finding it in complete darkness, Ruth was at a loss as to what to do. He had left Thames House at least half an hour before she had and she had assumed that he would go straight home, in which case he should be here by now. She knew how tired and defeated he had looked all day so surely he wouldn't have gone to some bar or other in search of a drink or worse still a woman. Wishing she had the courage to ring him, she decided that she would give him half an hour before she called in the cavalry whoever that might be, maybe Malcolm or Catherine would know where he was. The temperature was dropping and she was losing the feeling in her feet as she stamped from one to the other at the same time hugging her arms tight around her middle. Needing to take shelter from the biting wind and snow that had started to fall she opened his gate, walked down the path and tucked herself into the corner of his porch.
The river offered him no solace as he stood on the bridge and gazed into the unforgiving water. He was hungry, he was tired and he needed Ruth, no he wanted her and he was going to tell her and to hell with the consequences. He had all or nothing to lose depending on her answer, either way he had to know. It wasn't something that he could do over the phone, he needed to go home, shower and change and then he would go round and see her. She would be home by now he thought as he turned on his heels and headed back to the road in search of a taxi.
The half hour deadline that Ruth had set herself had long gone and her will to live was rapidly following. She pulled her collar higher around her neck, stamped her feet which she could barely feel and banged her now frozen hands together in an effort to feel her fingers. Frostbite was something which up until now she had never considered or for that matter the possibility that if she were to die, that it would be in Harry's front porch. Getting close to the hysterical stage where she didn't know whether she wanted to laugh or cry, she wondered what he would do if he came home and whether he would be cross to find her here.
By the time the taxi pulled up outside his house, the snow was falling more heavily and the pavement was already slippery. Having paid the taxi driver, he opened his gate and walked down the path to his door. Unable to believe his eyes and with an overwhelming sense of relief and then concern he saw Ruth, frozen to the bone and trembling from head to foot.
