Sr. Regina shifted her grip on Mary Sue snagging the back of the little girl's collar with a handful of hair just to keep her in check. She gave the child a firm shake when she struggled to free herself. "You will calm yourself, young lady. I have had enough of your behavior." She admonished as she dragged Mary Sue down the wide hallway toward her office at the very end.
"What is going on so early in the morning?" Sr. Stephanie's voice was calm despite the situation.
Regina shoved Mary Sue in front of her and gave her another little shake. "This one…again. She just cannot stay out of trouble. Polly caught her stealing cookies from Sr. Jeremy's kitchen. You would not believe the language she used to deny it." The older woman pursed her lips and spoke in short breaths doing nothing to belie her anger.
Sr. Stephanie interlocked her fingers and rested her hands in front of her. She took a deep breath and looked down at the small child who would not return the gaze. Giving the little girl few seconds to respond, the woman shook her head and let out a soft sigh. She motioned to the other nun to release the child and waited for her to comply. Once Sr. Regina reluctantly let go, Mary Sue shook her clothes back into place and bushed her hair from her face. She felt for the small barrette she'd put there earlier and tried to ignore the small pang of loss when it was not there. She dropped her arms to her sides and stood still, breathing heavily.
"Is this true, Mary Sue?" Sr. Stephanie's voice was still calm and was not already accusing her but all the child did was shrug her shoulders. The nun put a gentle hand on Mary Sue's shoulder ignoring the huff of disgust from her colleague. "That isn't an answer, sweetheart. I need you to tell me the truth, Mary Sue. Were you in the kitchen taking Sr. Jeremy's cookies?" Sr. Stephanie eyed the brown and chocolate stains on the front of the child's t-shirt.
Mary Sue kept her eyes to the floor unwilling to see the disappointment in Sr. Stephanie's. "She don't believe me anyways." She mumbled as she turned one thumb toward Sr. Regina. She felt the tears building in her eyes and quickly swiped her arm across them, refusing to cry.
"I'm asking for me, Mary Sue, not for Sr. Regina. I need you to look at me and tell me the truth." Sr. Stephanie's voice stayed the same, without a hint of anger.
Mary Sue shook her head. She knew if she looked up her battle to hold on to those tears would be lost and she just couldn't cry in front of Sr. Regina. "I din't steal them cookies, Sister. I din't go in the kitchen fer nothing, but…" She stopped and took a breath.
The nun waited. Sr. Regina crossed her arms over her chest and tapped one foot on the tile floor. "But, what dear? Tell me." Her voice was so soft, Mary Sue almost couldn't hear her over the tap, tap, tap of Sr. Regina's big black shoe.
"I did say some bad words cuz I was mad at Polly and Sr. Jeremy was hittin' me with her spoon thing." The little girl shrugged as she quickly mumbled the statement. She drew a quick breath. "I did sweared, Sister and I talked back but I din't steal nuthin and I ain't lyin either." The child's voice took on an angry tone that she quickly silenced.
"You see, Stephanie, she is still lying, still denying her guilt. I know exactly how to correct that." Once again Sr. Regina grabbed the little girl's wrist and yanking her toward the end of the hall.
Sr. Stephanie held up a hand. "I do not see how using your paddle on this child at half past seven in the morning will have any benefit on this situation, Regina. I also don't think Mary Sue would admit to using bad language and sassing both you and Sr. Jeremy then deny stealing and lying. She knows she will be punished in any case."
"Absolutely," Sr. Regina agreed, "and after a few good swats across that little bottom she'll be more than willing to confess to everything she's done." Again, she tugged the little girl a few steps.
"I do not feel that will be necessary, Regina." Sr. Stephanie smiled. She took Mary Sue's opposite hand in hers and gave it a soft squeeze. "I want you to go to my office, sweetheart." She smiled at the little girl who peeked up at her through her straggly hair. "Wait for me there." She led the child away from Sr. Regina and urged her in the opposite direction. Mary Sue took a few steps then stopped and turned back. "Go ahead, Mary Sue. I'll be there quickly." She made a shooing motion with one hand but smiled kindly.
The little girl walked slowly, looking over her should for a few minutes before continuing to the large door at the front of the building. She opened it slowly and stepped inside, peeking at the two nuns who watched her from the dim area near the stairs at the other end of the hall.
"That child needs to be put in her place, Stephanie." Sr. Regina almost growled. "She is nothing but trouble and you're 'spare the rod' practice is doing her no good. She is out of control and you do nothing to put a stop to it. Some my say you favor the child." She smiled a not so happy grin.
"They might," Sr. Stephanie agreed. "Yet I do not see how your need to strike an eight-year-old with a wooden bat has done any good at all." She shook her head, regretting she had been away a few weeks ago when the older nun doled out her brutal punishment. "You left bruises on her that lasted more than a week, Regina. I believe that borders on abuse."
"That, Stephanie, is discipline. She remembered the lesson every time she sat down for more than a week and she hasn't bitten anyone since. Has she?" Sr. Regina defended her actions.
"But did you find out what happened exactly before you punished her?" Sr. Stephanie sighed.
"There was no need." Sr. Regina stammered. "I caught her in the act when Polly was screaming."
"But you did not know why, did you?" Sr. Stephanie shook her head.
"Why? Did it matter? She was drawing blood, sinking her teeth into that girl's arm. There is no excuse for that." The older nun bellowed softly.
Sr. Stephanie let out a soft sigh. "I suppose not, but I still believe your punishment was extreme. Today I will deal with this, but I thank you for your help."
Sr. Regina let out a huff and threw her arms in the air. "You will regret this Stephanie. That child is nothing but trouble."
Smiling, Sr. Stephanie gave a smile then turned ant left the other nun mumbling under her breath before she too turned and stormed to her office, closing the door with a small thud.
Sr. Stephanie walked into the common room and stood taking in the scene. The dark crumbly stains of crushed cookie were very apparent on the far side of the carpet. A few Legos lay strewn on the floor near the couch but the bulk of them were back in the large tub on the table against the wall. This drew her attention. When she walked by a few minutes ago almost every Lego was on the carpet or the floor. The large red tub was overturned and lying under the table, certainly not where it was right now. She smiled at the soft sound she heard and stood still listening to the hushed breathing from behind the sofa.
"Couldn't sleep again, Hiram?" The nun asked softly. "It's okay, you can come out. They're all gone." She waited patiently listening to the sounds of the child deciding his next move. A few minutes later a small boy stood and pushed up the thick glasses on his nose. He shook his too long hair from his face and slowly inched his way around the piece of furniture.
"Thank you for cleaning up the Legos. I know it is a hard job." Sr. Stephanie smiled.
The little boy smiled shyly and shrugged his shoulders, once again pushing up his glasses. He slid his hands along the stems of the glasses and around the hearing aids on both ears, discretely switching both to the on position.
"I guess they were very loud. Weren't they?" Sr. Stephanie spoke as well as signed to the little boy.
He nodded.
"I tawned aw. Ooo oud." Hiram spoke in the speak of one with limited hearing. He rarely spoke at all but was comfortable enough with Sr. Stephanie in the absence of anyone else, to let down his guard.
Sr. Stephanie moved to the couch and sat down patting the spot next to her encouraging Hiram to do the same. He narrowed his eyes for a moment then quickly picked up the last few Legos and put them into the tub before doing as she asked. He sat next to her and she patted his knee as she smiled her thanks for finishing the job.
"Have you been up a long time?" The nun asked.
The boy gave a quick nod and a large smile. It wasn't unusual to find Hiram in the common room in the early hours of the day. The child did not sleep well. He would wander into the room to read or drawn or make elaborate Lego structures before anyone else came to use the space he so loved but was reluctant to share with his peers. During the day, Hiram attended a class at a local school for the Hearing Impaired. This continued through the summer months. He was not totally deaf but enough that it made it difficult to communicate with the others. Hiram was shy and so afraid of being made fun of that he avoided the others even when the nuns assured him they would not give him a hard time. If forced to join the others he would find a spot away from the action and simply observe, refusing to react to anyone. So, after his morning session at 'school' the boy would find solace in the church choir loft with his books and a box of his beloved Legos. Sr. Stephanie had no doubt that Hiram, despite his disability, would someday be a gifted architect or perhaps an engineer. She thought very highly of all of her charges and envisioned great futures for each, even that little imp Mary Sue who could not stay out of trouble no matter how many rosaries the nun said for the child.
Hiram stared at Sr. Stephanie, waiting for her to dismiss him. He coughed a little to gain her attention. The nun smiled down at him as she was brought from her thoughts. He smiled back. He did not like to get involved in the antics of the rather boisterous children at St. Agnes and that, in particular, meant Polly Gerard. He kept his distance from the young teen, eyeing her warily whenever they happened to be in the same place at the same time. At first, he'd been timid around Mary Sue as well, but even though the little girl seemed to always in the wrong place at the wrong time she was good natured and friendly toward almost all of the children. She barely noticed Hiram's disability until one of the other children pointed it out and even then, just shrugged it off and treated him pretty much the same as she did everyone else. Mary Sue was one of the few children Hiram would sometimes spend time with in the play yard or the common room on a rainy afternoon. Sr. Stephanie wasn't certain but she believed Mary Sue was sometimes a visitor to the little boy's haven behind the pipes of the old organ in the choir loft.
"I'm sorry your work was toppled." The nun frowned as she signed to the child.
"Ah wah ah da." Hiram spoke as he signed back. "No pa lem." He smiled.
Sr. Stephanie smiled and then gave a look that concerned the boy. He looked down at his fingers and let out a soft sigh as if he knew what was coming. The nun tapped his shoulder lightly so he would look up at her. When he did she continued speaking and signing simultaneously.
"Did you see what happened earlier?"
Hiram shook his head quickly, his eyes wide with apprehension. Even a hearing-impaired child knew the ramifications of being a snitch, especially when it came to Polly. She'd get back at him somehow. She'd know it was him and he'd pay…. big time. Polly always made you pay big time. He learned that the first week he'd been at St. Agnes. She'd been merciless in her teasing and swiped his hearing aid batteries. He went straight to Sr. Stephanie who made the girl apologize and return them. She also banned the girl from attending a planned movie night that weekend. In return, Polly pounced on him in his bed. Sitting on his chest and socking him twice before he had a chance to even try to get away. She pulled him close and told him next time he might just trip on the stairs or off the curb into the street or maybe she'd just smash a pillow over his face until he turned blue. He never told Sr. Stephanie and never slept well again. And now here she was asking him to tell her what happened. He shook his head again.
"I know you don't like to get involved in these things Hiram but if you saw anything it would be very helpful to Mary Sue." Sr. Stephanie smiled. "She is your friend, isn't she?"
Hiram blinked his blue eyes, magnified greatly behind his thick glasses. He swallowed hard and nodded. He'd skirted behind the sofa as soon as he felt someone nearing the room. He'd been as quiet as death, listening to who might be up as early as he was. The first voice he heard was Polly's. It sent a shiver down his back, thinking she was up and after him but he realized quickly she was talking to someone else. It was a few minutes before he heard Mary Sue say she didn't take any cookies. That's when he peeked under the cloth that covered the old sofa and watched as the taller girl squashed cookies into the rug with her foot. He listened to the altercation between the girls and pulled back behind the couch when it got too loud and then the other two sisters were yelling and it was too much. He turned off his hearing aids, covered his head and hoped for the best. The feeling of all those Legos crashing across the floor brought him back and he'd climbed out and back quickly in order to pick up as many as possible once the room was cleared.
Hiram wasn't really sure what happened but he knew Mary Sue did not take those cookies. He'd seen Polly sneak into the kitchen almost every morning and exit with more than a handful. She hadn't seen him in the shadows behind the sofa, but he'd seen her. And this morning he knew she'd been eating when she started speaking to his friend. He felt sorry for Mary Sue. Polly treated her ever worse than she did him. But he was also terrified.
The little boy looked up at Sr. Stephanie and pushed one finger up under his glasses to rub away the tears that blurred his vision. He did not want to lie. That would be a sin and he'd seen what Sr. Jeremy thought of sinners. He knew what Sr. Regina did to the kids she said were sinners. They'd know what he did but so would Polly. Hiram sucked in a quick breath and shook his head quickly signing.
"I went behind the sofa. I did not see what happened. I did not hear." He pleaded with only a look as his fingers flew in explanation.
Sr. Stephanie took both of those little hands in her own, sighing at the coldness she felt. Hiram's hands were always cold. She nodded a slight smile at the little boy. "I know you turned off your hearing aid. I know you were frightened." She brushed his poker straight hair away from his face and patted his knee. "Maybe you should get some breakfast before the van gets here for you." The nun smiled.
Hiram smiled back as he stood and took a few steps then turned back. He looked over his shoulder and peered quickly down the hall that lead to the kitchen then pressed a small object into the nun's hand. Again, he signed quickly, abbreviating his statement as he backed toward the exit to the foyer. "MS good girl. Bad words. No sin." He smiled at the nun who pressed her finger tips to her lips then back toward the child in a sign of thank you. Hiram turned and disappeared down the hall before she could ask another question.
Sr. Stephanie let her palms rest on her knees and smiled at the door where Hiram had disappeared. She knew the child knew more than he would tell. She knew he feared Polly. Most of the children at St. Agnes feared Polly for one reason or another. The girl was cruel in her frightening threats but she was all talk. She'd never really hurt any of the other children just made them think she would, except for Mary Sue. For some reason Polly had no trouble causing the little girl pain, but Mary Sue would say nothing and therefore the nun could do nothing about the situation except keep a close eye on both. This morning was totally unexpected and while she was meditating in the church…well it seemed her prayers had not been answered in a way she'd hoped. Polly's actions would need to be addressed and it would take time to search her own soul to find a way to do just that. Right now, another child, a much younger and very angry child waited in her office. She'd deal with Mary Sue and then see to Polly.
xx
Mary Sue climbed into the big red leather chair in the corner of Sr. Stephanie's office. It was old and soft, full of squiggly crevices and a tiny rip on one arm that had white fuzz poking out like a hairy caterpillar. It smelled like the stuff they burned in the church when it was Benediction only not as strong. That strong smoky smell made the little girl puke all over Sr. Regina when she wouldn't let her hold her nose. That got her sent outside to sit on the steps all alone but Mary Sue didn't mind. This smell was softer and made her feel comfortable in the big chair's embrace. The little girl pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them.
She blinked through the tears that still threatened to fall and picked at the hole in the toe of her sneaker. If she wriggled her toes just right she could pop the little one right through. She thought about Sr. Constance, the nun in charge of making sure all the kids had clothes that almost fit and shoes that didn't fall off or squish their feet. Sr. Constance had the best laugh in all of St. Agnes and Mary Sue loved telling her stories just to hear it. The older woman almost sounded like a tickled owl with her 'who, who, who" chuckle. Mary Sue picked at the threads around the growing hole in her shoe and smiled a little at the memory of that laughter. Sr. Constance promised her the next pair of shoes the right size would be hers. People donated clothes and shoes all the time. Most of the stuff the kids wore was donated or the Sisters got it from the second hand shop a few blocks away. They had some kind of deal with the owner and got the stuff really cheap. Once Mary Sue got a sweater that still had store tags on it. It was the first time she ever had something with tags and wore the garment with them attached until they fell off. She never had a pair of shoes that someone hadn't worn first.
But that was the least of her worries now.
The little girl hugged her legs tighter and rocked slowly, sniffing back sobs that were caught in her throat. She wasn't afraid of Sr. Stephanie's chastisement or Sr. Regina's threat of using that stupid paddle again but the thought of disappointing May…of losing the chance to spend a whole day with her…that was something that made her heart hurt. Mary Sue didn't know your heart could hurt and she wondered if that was what people meant when they talked about a heart attack. She took a deep breath and shivered the exhale a few seconds before the office door opened.
Sr. Stephanie entered, shut the door quietly and stepped toward her desk. Mary Sue buried her face between her knees and gripped her skinny elbows with the opposite hands as they embraced her knees. She just couldn't bare to look the nun's disappointment or to face her own.
"Do you think you can tell me what happened?" The nun's voice came soft and gentle.
Mary Sue shook her head but did not look up.
"I can't help you if you won't talk to me, Mary Sue?" Sr. Stephanie tried again.
"It doesn't matter," the little girl mumbled from inside her cocoon.
"Of course, it matters, Mary Sue. I'd like to hear your side." The nun's voice was closer and the little girl almost looked up but stopped herself and tried to squeeze farther into the chair. She shook her head again.
"I din't take them cookies and I din't squish them either…." She grumbled then took a deep breath and huffed it out. "But I did say bad words and I yelled at the Sisters so it don't matter what happened. I ruined it. I can't go now. I can't be good for nuthin." Her voice cracked a bit but the little girl still held her tears. She cringed at the light touch on her shoulder.
"You know, Mary Sue, sometimes, even when we least expect it we have a little angel watching over us." Sr. Stephanie's voice smiled and the little girl finally peeked up at her. This time Mary Sue looked into the woman's smiling eyes as she brushed the stray hairs from her face and clipped them back with the little plastic barrette. "I think just maybe, your angel was watching this morning."
Mary Sue blinked up at the nun, not really sure what she was trying to say. She swallowed hard. "I din't take them cookies, Sister, I really din't." Her voice was almost a whisper as she shook her head repeatedly.
"No, sweetheart, I don't believe you did. I don't know what happened but I do believe you Mary Sue." She patted the back of the little girl's hand as the child slowly relaxed her grip on her own knees.
The little girl pushed her legs out straight and folded her hands in her lap. "But I still ruined it…" She spoke to her fingers.
"I don't think you've ruined anything, Mary Sue. Sometimes we just react faster than we can think and that might be what happened." Sr. Stephanie spoke as she moved to face the little girl. She sat on the edge of a wooden chair she'd pulled closer to the big leather one.
"But sayin bad words is bad and I promised to be good and I yelled at the Sisters real loud." The little girl rubbed a hand over the spoon shaped welts on her arm. "That makes me bad cuz I'm always bad even when I try to not be."
Sr. Stephanie frowned and gently brushed her fingers over the girl's arm as well. "Oh, my dear, I think you've already paid for that sin." She shook her head.
Mary Sue shook her head. "May will know I was not being haved."
"I don't think she needs to know anything about this cookie incident. I'm not even sure I know everything that happened. Maybe we don't have to tell her until I do." The nun pursed her lips and raised her brows in a silent question.
The little girl's pout was almost comical. "But what about the rest," she sighed as her shoulder's drooped in defeat.
"I'm going to leave that up to you, sweetheart. If you want to tell your friend about that I think she will understand, but I still feel you have done your penance." Sr. Stephanie nodded as she patted the girl's knee softly.
"Are ya gonna punish me?" The little girl asked as she chewed her lip and looked up over her brows.
"Hmmm…" the nun looked toward the ceiling and tapped one finger on the back of the opposite hand. "I've given that some thought and I'm afraid you will have to spend all of today and tomorrow working as my private…oh I think we'll call it secretary. You," she pointed toward Mary Sue, "will not leave my sight for the next forty-eight hours and will do everything I say without question. Do you understand that?"
Mary Sue stared as her jaw dropped slightly. She'd had lots of punishments but this was the strangest. She shrugged her shoulders and nodded slowly.
"Very good," the nun smiled. "First thing…I want you to wash your hands and face and then we will get some breakfast before you accompany me to morning Mass."
Mary Sue nodded as she stood then scrunched up her face at the thought of spending an hour or more sitting quietly in the church but she gave no argument or disagreement, following Sr. Stephanie toward the small bathroom across from the common room.
xx
Being a secretary for Sr. Stephanie meant licking a lot of envelops and stamps, emptying waste baskets, dusting shelves and sweeping the front steps while she spoke to prospective foster parents on the porch. It also meant an hour in the church after lunch and again after supper as the Sister's prayed their daily devotions. It really wasn't too bad. It was quiet and calm and so boring the little girl fell asleep both times.
Polly was called to the office right after afternoon prayers but it seemed secretaries weren't needed for meetings like that. Sr. Stephanie handed Mary Sue a book and sent her to the bench outside the office with strict instructions to stay there until told to come back into the office. She looked at the book in her hand and understood she was to read while she waited. Polly sneered at her as they passed, sticking out a foot to trip the smaller girl who hopped over it with a grin.
Twenty minutes later the bully stormed out of the office slamming the door behind her. She stormed across the foyer and pounded up the stairs without looking back at Mary Sue or uttering a word that the little girl could understand. She watched until Polly disappeared around the landing at the top of the stairs but heard her banging up the second flight. It wasn't until bedtime that Mary Sue found out Polly was transferred to the dormitory in the annex building behind the church. Once a girl was sixteen she was usually put in the smaller building, while the boys of the same age went to St. Boniface a few blocks away. Mary Sue didn't really know why and was sure she'd never find out because she absolutely would find her parents before she had to move there. Polly was only fifteen but Sister made an exception for her and not one of the other kids questioned why. The entire second floor breathed a sigh of relief and even the kids on third seemed more at ease.
When the phone rang at eight-twenty-five, Sr. Stephanie was certain who it was before she answered. Melinda May spoke calmly to the nun asking for the little girl she now made it a point to check on daily. Unfortunately, Mary Sue had fallen asleep almost an hour earlier giving the nun the opportunity to speak to this unusual woman at length, despite the hour.
"I am sorry I missed her, Sister." May apologized.
"I understand, May." Sr. Stephanie nodded, feeling odd about calling the woman by merely her surname. "Mary Sue will be very upset that she missed your call but I will tell her in the morning."
"I'll be out of town all day tomorrow," May explained. "I won't be able to call but I will be there by eight Saturday morning. Did you get the clearances I had one of my associates deliver? Is everything in order?"
Sr. Stephanie shuffled through a stack of envelops on her desk and pulled out one with the name 'MAY' in dark block lettering. She slipped it open and scanned the documents inside. Everything seemed to be in order. "Yes, it is all here but I must tell you Miss…I'm sorry, May…this is very unusual. It usually takes months of paperwork and assessments before one of our charges spends any time with a prospective guardian."
The comment took May back for a moment. Again, she shook off the feeling that this nun thought she was looking to make this arrangement permanent. Crap, the kid needed someone to keep her on the straight and narrow and apparently the 'fear of the Lord' was not cutting it. Mary Sue Poots needed a little bit more. Lord, what a name! She thought for the umpteenth time.
"Well, I guess this is an unusual situation, Sister." May replied. "Like I said before, maybe the kid just needs a mentor, someone to keep her off the streets until you find the family she needs. And really, Sister, Poots? Who comes up with these names?"
Sr. Stephanie couldn't help the slight chuckle. "Well, even I must admit that is a horrid name and an unfortunate typographical error on one of the older sister's parts but by the time we discovered it…well, it was too late to change."
"Too late?" May inquired.
"As I told you before, Mary Sue was quite fragile when we found her. In all honesty we did not think she would be with us very long and the rush to name and baptize the poor little thing was too much for some of us. All of the girl infants are named Mary and given a second name alphabetically. Last names are done in the same fashion, basically by the alphabet and the next name on the list was Post. The Sister in charge of completing documents misread the paperwork or perhaps just scribbled too quickly and it became Poots. We didn't realize it until she was returned to us and by then it really didn't matter. Our hopes are that our babies are adopted quickly, giving them new names and identities so these names are temporary at best." Sr. Stephanie explained.
Now it was May's turn to chuckle. "Guess the jokes on her then, saddled with that all this time."
"Oh, we never give up hope, May. Mary Sue is a very special little girl and I am sure the Lord has a special plan for her." The nun smiled into the receiver.
Again, May got that feeling. It was like an itch that danced all over her body for a split second before completely disappearing. She couldn't imagine how the nun could do it without making any specific comment. "She's a good kid, maybe we should all work to keep it that way."
"Yes, and that is why I am making an exception and allowing this outing. Again, May I do not want to see Mary Sue hurt and she is so looking forward to this. I hope it is just as important to you."
"I won't let her down, Sister." May stated again. "That's very important to me."
The nun smiled again, hearing something more than just words coming from the woman who had somehow found her way into this little girl's life and it seemed would become much more than a friend or as she put it, a mentor.
¹Peggy Sue, Buddy Holly, 1957, Coral Records, Clovis, New Mexico
