A /N : I decided to continue the fiction FIREWORK. I hope you'll like it !

I don't own Lie To Me or any of the characters.

Song : She – Elvis Costello


The next day, Cal got up exhausted. Obviously, he didn't sleep a wink the night before. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about his feelings for Gillian, had balanced the pros and the cons of an eventual confession, without reaching an appealing and definitive conclusion.

He looked at the paper in his hands and read it:

Pros of vowing my love for Gillian:

1. Being the happiest and luckiest man in this entire world.

2. Making her happy (with no pretension at all)

3. Being able to go to sleep every night, and wake up every morning, snuggling up against Gillian.

4. Being able to really be myself, to drop the mask. Letting her openly read my expressions and my feelings on my face.

5. Being able to envisage and plan holidays for just the two of us, far away from Washington.

6. Not being alone anymore. Being able to completely open up to her, to share everything with her.

7. Organizing romantic dates where I could offer her all she always dreamed of.

8. Being able to kiss her (and not just in the corner of her mouth) whenever I'd like.

9. Her taking my name (Gillian Lightman! that rings really well, doesn't it?)

10. Trying to fulfill one of her biggest dream: giving her a child. Or doing everything to be able to adopt a baby.

Oh yeah and….

11. Above all, finally being able to discover the collection of sexy lingerie she must have (here, I'm starting to get tired!). Revealing the "bad girl" she doesn't allow herself to be (oh, I would love to see that! I'm starting to talk nonsense, oops!)

Cons of vowing my love for Gillian:

1. She deserves someone better than me.

2. She can't possibly have the same deep feelings as me. She'll definitely laugh in my face.

3. I risk losing her. And losing her is losing everything, it's losing my own life!

4. If our relationship doesn't work, I'll risk losing her friendship, her affection, her attention, her care.

5. I'm sure I'll end up ruining everything and messing everything up.

At the end of that mental torture, he still didn't know what to do. Upset and lost, Cal folded the paper and slid it in the back pocket of his jeans. He slowly went down the stairs and into the kitchen. Emily certainly should have already left for the high school because her bowl of cereal was lying in the kitchen sink and her backpack was no longer in the entrance. He sighed, slightly relieved not to have to face an interrogation about his intentions concerning Gillian. He knew his daughter (after all, she wasn't HIS daughter for nothing!), she was rather of the stubborn kind of kid and she would never drop the subject so easily!

As Cal was about to open the refrigerator, his glance stopped on the door of it. There a small note was held by a magnet. He grasped it and read it aloud:

"TELL HER! You both deserve to be happy, so TELL HER! Or even better, when you arrive at work this morning, go straight in her office and without a word, you kiss her! ;)

P.S.: By the way, I love you daddy ;)"

He knew it! She would never leave him alone if he wasn't totally honest with Gillian! He was finished!


Once his breakfast was eaten, he took his car keys and his mobile phone and left in the direction of the Lightman Group. Wanting to stop the thoughts that were bustling in his head, he turned on the radio. He didn't really pay attention to the presenter's announcement about the next song…. from a certain Elvis Costello, he thought he heard. But, when he heard the first notes of piano and the first words, Cal couldn't help turning up the volume of the radio.

She
May be the face I can't forget
A trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She may be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred tearful things
Within the measure of the day.

No, that was impossible! This morning, the world decided to gang up on him, or what? He sighed, giving a murderous glance at the radio.

She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside a shell

She who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She may be the love that can and hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I remember till the day I die

She
May be the reason I survive
The why and where for I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and rainy years
Me I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I got to be
The meaning of my life is

She, she, she

Suddenly, millions of pictures and memories invaded his mind: images of a happy and smiling Gillian; images of Gillian in tears; images of a terrified Gillian; images of his very first meeting with her; images of her when she had helped him get through his divorce… Yes, Gillian was really all these things and so many others. She was more than the meaning of his life, she was HIS life!


Reaching his destination, he parked his car in his reserved parking space and noticed Gillian's car was still not there. It was surprising, because usually she always arrived before him. Just before going to his office, he asked Heidi to call him as soon as Gillian arrived. However, he didn't hear from Heidi all day long. Furious she had forgotten to call him, he rose from his chair, rushed to Heidi's desk and shouted at her: "Heidi, I asked you to inform me of Gillian's arrival!"

"I know Sir, but…"

"What? Have you forgotten? You had so much work to do that you didn't have one minute to call me? Gillian asked you to say nothing to me because she was on a case she knew very well that I would have refused to take?"

"No Sir, it's just… Doctor Foster hasn't arrived yet!"

"What do you mean she hasn't arrived yet? It's five pm! Didn't she call? When she left yesterday evening, didn't she inform you of her absence?" That news aggravated Cal's nervousness who immediately felt overwhelmed with anxiety. Something must have happened to Gillian! Not calling or keeping the Lightman Group posted wasn't her style!

"I know, Sir, but she didn't say anything!"

Frantically, Cal took his phone out of his jeans pocket and dialled Gillian's number. After the first ring, the voice mail went off. He hung up without leaving a message and dialled the number again. Again, voice mail! He called her house phone, in vain! Again, the damned answering machine! Cal was feeling the adrenalin and the anxiety rising more and more.


Where was she? Why didn't she answer her telephone? What if she was hurt or she had been attacked? He could not lose her before having admitted his feelings to her! He definitely had to go to her house! He had to tell her! Emily was right, he could not wait anymore, he had to tell her his feelings before it was too late! Oh my God, it was maybe already too late! No, no and no! Why was he always thinking in a tragic way? Don't panic, Cal! Just breathe!

He was finally in front of the door of Gillian's apartment, the ride over had seemed endless. He didn't know how well he had driven there, because everything had seemed rather fuzzy to him. Indeed, there had been this fear, this anxiety about losing her, this nightmare where something horrible had happened to her. He didn't know yet what he was going to do, but the simple thought of seeing her comforted him. The discussion with Heidi has really been a kick in the guts to him!

It's crazy how life can play tricks on you and that that's the only way you can realize that some things are essential to you. When he woke up this morning, he didn't know what to do and now he could not wait anymore! He imperatively, certainly and indubitably had to tell her! For the very first time, he felt this sense of emergency. Not like when he was on a case where he quickly had to find the liar and the person being honest. No! It was more as if he felt he was going to lose something important if he didn't immediately tell her his love. As if he would be too late if it wasn't THIS night. As if his revelation would lose its power with the sunrise.

Because he loved her. Quite simply. Actually, he had always known it… since their first meeting… but now, he had finally dared to admit it to himself. He loved her! Savagely, powerfully, like he had never loved anybody else before.

Finally, if she didn't want him, if she told him that he was too late, he would never again put his eyes on another woman as he did on her. And he wouldn't want another woman either. After all, she had made several steps in his direction but he had always stepped back.

He raised his hand to knock on the door. Feeling a wave of determination, he moved in the direction of the door, but quickly stopped. He put his palm on the wood and nightmarish images bombarded his mind. He closed his eyes, wishing to chase them away. It was a very bad idea because they invaded his mind with more strength. He opened his eyes and at that moment, he knew! It was THE moment! He wouldn't step back anymore.

He banged against the door and waited for a few moments, for an eternity, before the one he loved came to answer his knock. She slowly opened the door, wondering who could disturb her so late. Dishevelled, she was looking at him with surprise in her eyes. She was a little confused, as if seeing him for the first time. Dressed in large, well, very large pajamas, she didn't do anything. She was staring at him intensely and thought: He could not have come at a worse moment than that one. Because she had just discovered something which would certainly and inexorably change her life, their lives forever…