Chapter 1: The Laziest Assassin

I have to say this; it is amazing what people get used to.

I looked at the pistol that I held in my hand, it felt more like a toy than an actual gun, yet again, considering the ammunition it uses…

If it were my choice, I would be napping through this entire scene; unfortunately, Hazama had pushed me to join in on this morning's roll call, if you can call it that.

I looked outside, and subtly noticed the slight breeze that had rolled through the trees.

What I wouldn't give to be under one of them, or better yet, one of them, they have such great lives, staying in the one place, only having to grow and rest in the sun.

I shifted my eyes to the opposite direction towards the Japanese styled door, just as slid open.

Then he walked in.

A weird teaching uniform, more tentacles than anyone should have, and an ever present smile that makes your own mouth twitch in pain.

Yet despite this, he is the single most dangerous creature in the world.

And a damn smug Takoyaki, to add my own opinion.

"We'll now start homeroom now" the 'teacher' speaks out to us, not at all bothered we had weaponry in our arms, or the tension was as thick as anything.

"Whoever is on day duty, issue your commands!"

If I remember right… that would be that Shiota.

I spied the blue haired guy (Japan of course) wince slightly, so I guess I was right…

Wait, is he a guy?

He seems to be a little too feminine to be one…

I suppose I could ask, but that would be a bit awkward…

Plus I can't really be bothered.

It's funny, the only people I really bothered to remember that names of were the people sitting next to me, because they were the ones to bother me most, one or two others really popped up quickly, and if they didn't, I would just give up and forget about trying.

But when this 'Assassin' gig started up, people have been actively trying to organise a way to kill the tentacle terror, not many went near me because they didn't think I would contribute much to anything, but now, names were passed around so much that I eventually caught onto a few.

"S-STAND!"

Oh great, here it comes.

I stood up as Shiota shouted, taking a look around, everyone, girl and boy, back of the class to the front, had got up and aimed various different weaponry at out yellow sensei.

If it were Sensei-Dick, I would be actually watching, maybe not really participating much but I'd love to see it happen.

But him, the damn Takoyaki, his grin just seem to stretch slightly, and I knew what he knew.

There was no way he would be dying this way.

"AT ATTENTION!"

I felt a kick to my shin; I looked in front of me to see Hazama looking over her shoulder.

"Don't even try to sit out this Anderson; we need all the bullets we can get"

Damn, why couldn't I be like that Engineer guy out of Team Fortress, just set things up and kick back while they do their job.

Regardless, I looked down my sight and aimed at the teacher… which would have been just as effective as aiming at the ceiling.

"BOOOOOOOWWWW!"

CHE!CHE!CHE!CHE!CHE!CHE!

I fired my first shot, then the second… then I just fired the third to fifth on either side the class and just dropped my arm.

Why? Because I would be having a snowball's chance in a hell situated in the sun of hitting him like he was now.

Our sensei, the tentacle bastard, was zipping around the end of them room.

To add insult to injury, the guy was leaving afterimages of him standing completely still and with the registration book out.

"Seeing as you're still firing, I will take attendance, Isogai-Kun"

Oh great, now he is actually taking homeroom while he's dodging a fire squad, I sat down and just lay my head to the desk and just tried to sneak in a nap, despite the noise going on.

"I'm sorry, but as we're in the midst of gunfire, could you speak up?"

This is coming from the octopus dodging it.

"Anderson-Kun"

Wow, I think I might have actually dozed off there, they are still shooting unfortunately.

"Here" I called out, not bothering to raise my head, and not shout at the top of my voice, if I'm lucky, he'll not look over here for the rest of the day, and Hazama won't realize I stopped shooting.

"No absences… how wonderful! Sensei is very pleased"

Oh yes, don't mind how we were trying to murder you just now.

"What a shame, there were no direct hits today either"

Stand still then you sea-reject.

"Tactics that rely on numbers lack individual thought. Your gaze, the direction of your guns, the movement of your fingers, each and every one of them is far too simplistic"

Ya-de-ya-de-yada.

"Also there can be cases of desertion, isn't that right Anderson-Kun?"

Silence… urrrrggg-

BONIK!

"OW! SON-OF-A-FREAKING-

"Despite that being in English Anderson-Kun, please watch what you say in class" said the all too cheery voice of the octopi-teach.

I looked up to see Hazama with a steaming fist.

"What. Did I say. To you?" she asked me slowly, a dangerous tone entering her voice.

I sighed deeply, "let's be honest, would it have made much a difference?"

She opened her mouth, and then closed it, before having a defeated impression.

"I guess you got me on that one" she said in a flat tone.

"Remember to devise a better plan" our sensei continued, "or else you will never be able to kill me with my maximum speed of Mach 20"

After this I stopped listening, it was a routine funny enough, every time someone plans to kill him, he dodges and lectures us in how to kill him properly, offering us tips or pointing out the flaws in our execution.

What I have to ask is, if he is trying to get us to kill him, why doesn't he just give us an Anti-Sensei axe and let us swing at him.

I then observed the weirdest superman I have ever seen; shoot his own arm off.

Narrowing my eyes, I looked him over; he didn't so much as twitch, as his arm fell to the ground, it was stupid, but before I knew it, his arm grew back again.

That can't be healthy, there has to be a drawback to that… does it exert him to grow them back? It's possible he needs to regain it through use of calories, which means a large chunk of his energy must be used up in a short time to do it, how about the time between losing and growing it, is it considered a disability…

I shook my head, trying to make sense of the Takoyaki was like, his powers were a mystery, his appearance was a mystery, his past is a mystery.

He is too mysterious for his own good.

I then took notice of our teacher getting green stripes, meaning he was smug.

He's a living mood-ring…

"Let's tidy up the gun barrels and bullets. Class-E is starting!"

I grumbled and proceeded to scoop up the few bullets that had managed to rebound back to the end of the class, before depositing it into the bucket being carried around by another student, and then put my gun into the box that they were passing around.

The pistol isn't much my style anyway; I only chose it because I didn't really care.

Once we had swept up, class had started.

"Anderson-Kun?"

Oh great, not again.

I looked to the front of the class.

"Can you answer this question here? Simply multiply out the two brackets and combine the like terms"

I then adopted my usual frown, every two to three days, the damn Takoyaki would single me out to answer a question, from my count I have been asked six more questions from the board than anyone else.

Looking over it, I saw it was a simple question.

"The equation goes from (-6+x) (8+x) to -6(8+x) + x(8+x), and then -48-6x+8x+x^2, and finally -48+2x+x^2"

"Correct, excellent work Anderson-kun"

I only cursed him under my breath, when I'm asked by another teacher, I can pretend to, or actually sleep and they would either pass over me, or give up trying to wake me.

However, this damn Takoyaki doesn't know when to leave well enough alone.

He put my hair into pigtails the last time I tried to ignore him.

Terasaka laughed about it for a while, well, that was before he got some eyeliner on him.

Hehe, only time the Takoyaki actually did something good.

Not that I would ever admit it.

Anyway, I took a glance from under my half drawn eyelids, and noticed some of the students looking at me.

Whatever question sensei would ask me, I would answer as I had no alternative, because of this, many people took notice in how surprisingly smart I was, not that he asked anything that hard, just simple algebra.

It gets on my nerves however.

BANG!

I stirred out of my thoughts to look at one my classmates, the orange hair girl, with a gun outstretched, no doubt having smuggled it, looking towards the obvious tentacle target, he had somehow managed to catch them in two pieces of chalk.

"Kakamura-San, I believe I told you assassinations must not interfere with your studies, as punishment, you will stand in the back and attend a class lecture"

"…sorry, you don't have to turn so red like that when you're angry…"

He isn't SUPPOSED to turn that red when he's angry, I think I see steam rising from his head.

Seriously, we are too used to this already, it's almost like that was a spit-ball instead of a loaded gun.

I looked at all the sorry saps, they didn't think this through clearly enough when we were given the job, and they didn't consider that the reward money for this is WAY less than the job was worth, at least for a group.

Sure, ten million yen can go a long way here, and if I were to get the right exchange period, I would get a colossal amount of pounds in my own country, but honestly, is it possible to kill this guy by on your own? Heck, I doubt the class as a whole would have much in the way of success, they just demonstrated it now.

And if by the small chance we do kill him as a group, the money would have to be split equally, ten billion between thirty would be three hundred and thirty three million roughly, a BIG downgrade from what's promised, and even if it's healthy pocket change, you can't expect to live off that amount for the rest of your life, unless you invest it properly.

Yet we still keep at it, I wonder sometimes if everyone else really doesn't know this fact or if they are just trying to ignore it.

… Who cares, it doesn't matter to me anyway.

I then heard the faint ring of a bell in the distance, great, it's nap time.

"It is lunchtime~" fuck you Takoyaki, "Sensei's going to China for a bite of Mapo Doufu to eat" Why can't you go to the supermarket like everyone else? "If there is anyone who would like to assassinate me, please call my cell" Sorry, every time I call it I seem to get a sushi restaurant, by the way, they want their ingredients back.

My inner banter was cut short as out sensei shot out the window, leaving a smoking windowsill.

Well, that should be at least a half hour of sleep, better get cracking.

"By the way, isn't he unexpectedly good at teaching?"

A nearby conversation started up, no; ignore it and fall asleep, it doesn't involve you.

"Anderson-Kun?" Urrrrrg, of course, the moment I think that, I find myself in a conversation that involves me.

Wait, Kun? I don't know anyone that well.

I looked up the see the same girl who tried to assassinate our sensei last period, if I remember right, her name was… Nakamura.

"Mind if I sit here?"

… I was contemplating whenever to say 'Yes I do mind', but I guess it doesn't matter either way.

"Sure… pull up a chair" I then closed my eyes and lay back down…

"So, you're a foreigner right?"

Yes, the universe hates me.

"I came from Scotland as a transfer student yes" I said, not raising my head from the desk.

"Oooooo, so what's it like living there?"

Why is she so interested? I looked up at her face…

Oh great, she's a foreigner fanatic, it's basically the opposite of a tourist, people who marvel at people from different countries coming here… more likely than not she is thinking someone like Brad Pitt or some other celebrity.

"… cold on most days, even in the summer months, more rain than snow in winter… it's not much but its home"

"Okay… how about food? Do you have any favourite dishes?"

Okay, that's now delving off the foreigner topic.

"Mmm… well, I wouldn't turn down a well-cooked haggis, but Italian is among my favourite pallet"

"Ahhh, Western food must be great, I would like to try some of the different food they make"

"Hn…" I uttered, I then glanced out the side of my eye… I saw Terasaka talking to Nagisa… that's an odd pair, plus he has his two of his thug mates.

They a short exchange and then they all walked out the classroom, mmm…

"Are you still asleep?" I cut my musings off to look at her, she didn't look really offended, more amused than anything.

"I wouldn't answer if that were the case" I replied back.

"Fufu, I guess your right" she smiled brightly; I gave one more glance at the door that my classmates left out of…

It doesn't involve me anyway...


Unfortunately, Nakamura didn't leave my table until lunch was done, even when I tried to show as little interest in her questions, she persisted without even a small drop in her smile.

She must have had nothing to do if she wanted to talk to me.

I sighed as I looked to the front of the class, our teacher having just come back from his trip to China, oh God that line sounds like something out of a manga.

Now it was Japanese, and our teacher was now telling us to write poetry.

Fair enough, but the subject itself…

"Please end it with Tentacles in the last seven symbols"

… I wonder if I can record that line and sue him for sexual harassment.

"I'll check it for proper grammar and to see if you were able to express tentacles in a beautiful way"

Yeah, screw killing him; I can get all the money I need by taking him to court.

Yet again… all that paperwork…

"Hey"

I looked forward to Hazama, who was looking at me curiously.

"Why was that Nakamura girl sitting with you?"

I tilted my head slightly, "She just wanted to ask some things, why?"

"Eh, not much" she then turned back to the front.

"Sensei, I've got a question"

I looked a little to the left at a head of green hair (Japan of course), as she raised her hand.

"What would that be, Kayano-San?"

"It's kind of late to be asking this, but what name should we use when talking about you?"

That answer is already solved, but I think she meant ones more PG rating…

"A name huh… I don't really call myself anything in particular. How about all of you come up with one, if you don't mind"

I was reminded of how the KGB were trained before they joined, taking a chicken, naming it and then taking care of it for three days.

After that, you had to kill it.

But I doubt the chicken had Mach 20 speed and regeneration surpassing a starfish.

He then turned a light shade of pink; his emotions were in such a blitz that I hardly even tried to guess which was for which emotion.

Then I saw someone stand up, it was Shiota, had he completed his poem already?

No… wait.

I glanced beside me; Terasaka had a large grin on his face as he looked towards Shiota.

Ohhhh, I see, another Assassination attempt, send the little guy in is an unexpected strategy, but the fact remained.

If we couldn't get the guy with bullets, what makes him think we can get him with knifes?

I could tell it would be a knife because it was the only thing he could hide on his body without it showing bulges, it was possibly in that folded piece of paper.

It seemed the tension in the air had doubled; everyone was now watching their blue haired classmate as he walked towards the front of the class, there goes the element of surprise.

Yet with a complete calm stance, the blue-nette still walked towards his target, I can get Terasaka being a little stupid in the regard, but doesn't Shiota at least know the fact he wouldn't be able to touch him?

Suddenly, once he was within close range, Shiota took out the knife and then swung it in an arc at our teacher, in any other case; it would have hit the mark perfectly, with the combined effect of surprise (whatever's left of it) and speed, it would have landed on mark.

But this was an alien Takoyaki who blew up the moon.

He caught Shiota's arm easily, that disappointed breath from everyone came out.

As if it was possible in the first place…

"I told you didn't I?"

And here it comes, another lecture in how to kill him properly, screw it, I'm falling asleep to this, it's all the same-

I blinked stupidly, why in the world was he hugging the guy, was he depressed or something…

Wait!

I snapped my neck to the side; Terasaka had a small remote of some kind, and that smile was still present.

He pressed it… and an explosion erupted.

Numerous BB pellets soared from the front of the class and rained down on some of the students of the rows, I had my eyes covered for a few seconds, and I opened my eyes and saw a smoking heap of black twisted shapes.

Wow… did they actually do it?

"Alright we did it!" Terasaka exploded as he ran to the front of the class, his other two friends joining him.

I actually got up and walked after them, I just to confirm what I was seeing.

Wow… that was really unexpected.

Smoking heap of our Takoyaki teacher, this is much more than I expected to happen.

"There's no way that guy could have expected a suicide bomber attack!" Terasaka shouted out in triumph, I looked at him with curiosity.

"What on Earth did you do?" the words slipped out my mouth before I realised it, I was surprised, I usually kept things to myself.

"Hm?" He looked at me; he seemed thrown off that I asked the question before he smiled again, "Just a toy hand grenade, I just gave it some gunpowder to give it an extra kick, to shoot over three hundred anti-sensei bullets at an insanely fast speed"

"Wha! What were you thinking!?" Kayano shouted from behind me, I guess she was talking about Shiota's condition, when I looked at him however, he didn't seem to have that many injuries… in fact, none at all. How is that possible?

I then noticed the cause, the skin, it was burned entirely… but there was only skin, no corpse.

As Terasaka was saying something about paying hospital bills, I felt a sudden chill, and I looked slowly around at the ceiling.

And the thing stuck to it started to speak.

"By the way, Sensei moults about once a month" his grin was still ever present, but both sets of teeth didn't seem to match each other, his skin was black and his face wrinkled ever itself, I could clearly see veins pulsing from under his skin.

He looked truly terrifying just now.

"I covered the explosion with my shed skin and stifled its power. In short, this is a secret skill that can only be used once a month"

I could tell he was angry, his voice was level, but his anger held no boundaries as it showed clearly on his face.

He was truly terrifying.

"Terasaka, Yoshida, Muramatsu, so you are the ringleaders are you"

Ever so slightly, I felt his voice take a slightly darker edge.

"Ehhh!? N-no!" he stuttered desperately, looking more than immensely scared.

No use in trying to cover it up man, he heard you say everything.

Then I blinked… he was gone, I stared stupidly at where had stood, and then at the doorway which was now open.

Soon enough, he burst back in with an arm-full of rectangular shapes, I few fell to the floor.

Each on was the name to everyone in the classroom, I read the Kanji twice to be sure.

Mine was there to, from the house I rented out no doubt.

"Due to my agreement from the government" He said as he stood there with his collection, "I cannot inflict harm on any of you, but…"

"If you come to kill me next time with the same method as just now," He then dropped several more of the plates he held on the ground, "I don't know what will happen to anyone who isn't any of you"

I narrowed my eyes at those implications, it was incredibly that line, and he confirmed it with his next words.

"Your friends… your family… No, maybe I will exterminate everyone on Earth you isn't you"

I gulped… for the first time since he came in, I hadn't realised exactly how dangerous this guy was.

The moon was just a thing, and his threat was in such a happy voice that I had dismissed it.

But this is the thing that obliterated over two thirds of a natural satellite, which is over fifty billion tons of rock gone in an instant.

He was truly terrifying, all these facts had surged in my head and I knew exactly why this thing was dangerous.

"Wha… what the hell are you…"

I looked at Terasaka, who was understandably, shivering in fear as he looked at the tentacle monster with even tears rolling from his eyes.

"You're a real pain in the ASS!" the sudden bravado surprised me as he continued.

"Coming here all of a sudden with your 'I'm going to blow up the Earth' and 'Assassinate me' and all that… What's wrong with using an irritating method to kill and irritating guy!?"

I slowly inclined my head towards the thing… that had turned a light orange with a circle shaded on his face.

The sudden absence of his frightening visage and voice let me feel a rush of relief.

"Irritating? Nonsense, your idea itself was excellent"

A complete and total…

"Are you goddamn bi-polar or something…" I muttered loudly, it didn't register much that I had spoken my comment out loud again.

"Especially Nagisa-Kun, you get a perfect score for keeping your body movement completely natural until the moment you closed in. You attacked me at a magnificent opportunity" he then proceeded to pat the head of the fore-mentioned boy like a puppy.

"However! Terasaka-Kun and the others held no regard for Nagisa-Kun's welfare, students like that do not have the right to kill me!" he then was glaring at Terasaka with a purple colouring, shadowed with an 'X' on his face now.

Weirdest line I had ever heard.

He then turned back to yellow and turned to the class as a whole.

"Let's have an assassination that will make us smile and puff up our chests with pride"

Whoever could do that has a twisted sense of humour and pride.

I then noticed my nameplate, being one of the many dropped on the floor, I picked it up.

"Each and every one of you can do that." He continued, "You are talented assassins with hidden strengths"

I took out a roll of double sided tape from my pockets I had left over from art.

"That is your advice from your sensei, a target"

This guy wanted an assassination huh?

I walked over to Nakamura's table, the said girl blinked up at me.

"Do you still have another smuggled pistol?" I asked in a semi disinterested voice.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Can I borrow it?"

"Um, sure?"

I took the pistol she had hidden in her desk and towards my desk.

"Now here's a problem Nagisa-Kun" our resident hentai scene said to his feminine student, "Sensei doesn't have even the slightest intention of being killed, because after enjoying my time with you till March, I'm going to blow up the Earth"

I then took out the nearly forgotten blade I had in my desk, having been given one and never got around to returning it.

"If you don't want that, then what will you all do?"

I put a strip of tape along the underside of my nameplate and pulled back my arm into my oversized sleeve, before putting the pistol into my hands grasp.

"Before that happens, we'll kill Sensei" I looked at the front where Shiota had finally spoken, I looked down myself and wondered what exactly I was doing, but then realised exactly what with what our teacher said next.

"In that case, try doing it right now, those who are able to kill me can go home for the day!"

Okay, I'll take that action.

As I walked down the lane, I couldn't help but yawn, I had the slip of paper for poetry still in my hand, as I walked towards this…

I'm running out of nicknames for this thing.

Takoyaki would get dull after a while.

I then heard some muttering from Kayano from the left of me, before she said,

"How about Korosensei?"

I shook it in my head a little, it wasn't all that bad, but a little inaccurate, after all, Korosenai means unkillable.

"Hey, Takoyaki-Sensei"

I felt all heads turn to me as I stood in front of his desk; his ever smiling face looked up from polishing his nameplates.

"That is not the name you should be going your teacher Anderson-Kun" He said to me without much anger.

"I wonder what the parents will say when they hear that their children's teacher is having them write a poem on tentacles" I stated curiously in English.

I swore, his eyes nearly bugged out from my statement, and looked at me.

"N-now, Anderson-Kun, don't have to be so hasty" I could tell that he was mildly panicked, so I then showed him my nameplate.

"You forgot this"

He looked at my nameplate and then stretched out his hand.

"Ah, thank you Anders-

But as he grasped the plate, I heard a sizzling sound which indicated he had touched the hidden knife at the bottom, not wasting a second; I gripped the gun in my right hand and swung it to face my 'Unkillable' teacher.

*BANG*

Sure enough… he had disappeared.

"Good to see you are taking my lessons seriously Anderson-Kun" I looked to the right, and he was standing there, his hand had melted a little, but quickly regenerated as I looked at it.

In response I turned my neck slightly to the right.

*Criik*

The crack of bones sounded out into the class and I looked him in the eyes.

"Not really, I just wanted to get to see if I could get a free day off" I then turned from him and back down the middle of the seats, I acknowledge that there were slightly awed looks in my direction, next to Terasaka, I was the only one to get a hit one him, however small.

I didn't really care; I just wanted to sleep this exhausting day away… but… I will admit this.

I looked back at 'Korosensei'

It was certainly interesting.


A/N: Next on the list was supposed to be SAO: TP, but I was getting delayed due to school and exam preparation, so I decided to write this up as quickly as I can because I could work on it easier.

The novel of SAO I usually read online had been abandoned, so it was taken off.

I hope you enjoy this segment, and btw, should I follow the Manga religiously? Or should I only write in piece by piece of it that would involve the whole class or are interesting enough for my character to get involved? Or while all the cannon stuff are happening in the background, I have my character interact with others in their own ways.

Until next time, this is HellKing, good night!