A/N: Okay, I'm not sure I like this chapter but it is what it is. Watched Boomerang today and realized how much I detest Brumby. But I had to smile. He was so smug and arrogant, he didn't realize he was Mac's second choice. Anyhow, Harm is having second thoughts as well.
Chapter Two - If Only
Harm unlocked the door to his loft, then stepped aside to allow Renee to enter first. Ever the gentleman.
He smirked. What kind of gentleman would kiss another man's finance on the night of her engagement party? It wasn't chaste. It was a mind-blowing, tongue dueling, toe tingling kiss. One he would never forget.
Inside the apartment, he loosened his tie and undid the top two buttons of his shirt. Tossed his jacked on a chair and sat down on the sofa.
Mac. The one who had twice followed him to Russia. The one who always came up with a dispassionate plan. The one who kept him from making the most serious mistake of his life. What would he have done to Holbarth if she hadn't shown up?
He'd kissed her that night too.
I know. You were kissing her.
It may have started that way. After all, dressed in Harriet's uniform, she looked so much like Diane. But he knew the difference. He wasn't kissing Diane. He was kissing Mac. His Ninja girl.
But she wasn't his. She was marrying Mic Brumby. It was her choice. He'd asked her to wait, and she went straight into another man's arms. Shown up at the Sydney Airport wearing his ring. Sure it was on her right hand, but he knew it was a matter of time before she moved it over.
Bugme. Of all people, Mac had to pick that arrogant, self-serving bastard.
Never look back, Commander.
So he didn't. Okay, yes, he'd taken one last glance before boarding the plane. When he returned to the states, Renee was more than willing to move into his life and his bed. And in the months that followed, she made it clear she wanted their relationship to be permanent.
But he couldn't commit. Not to her. She was a mere distraction. Someone to take his mind off Mac. He didn't want to admit it at first. After all, Mac was a trusted partner and friend. Nothing more.
Sure she wasn't. Kate Pike had nailed it.
The last thing you need is a third female to complicate your life.
Three. Where do you get three?
Renee, me, and Mac.
I'm not involved with Mac.
Kate merely smiled and left. Then he turned to meet Mac's gaze. They were holding a little celebration at JAG after she'd moved that damned ring. She had been talking to Renee and Mic. But the look on her face…
He remembered the night of the Surface Warfare Ball when Mic showed up saying he'd reserved his commission to be with the woman he loved. Harm would never forget Mac's look as she walked in the ballroom. Was she crying out for him to rescue her?
No. She made the decision to marry Mic. And in spite of what happened this evening on the admiral's porch, Mac was going through with the wedding.
What's between you and Brumby is your business.
What's between us? I'm marrying the man.
She had said she wanted them to remain close, but Harm knew he'd lost her. Mic wasn't the type of person to share—not even as a friend. He was sure the smug Australian would destroy their friendship. Maybe even their working relationship. Brumby and Brumby. Was Mic's secret plan to persuade Mac to leave the Marines and JAG?
"Harm? Harm! You haven't heard a word I've said."
"What is it, Renee?"
"I asked you what you and Mac talked about all evening."
"Uh, a case." Okay, it wasn't entirely a lie.
"Yeah, sure. You could have done that in the office. It didn't look to me like you were talking about work when I arrived. In fact, if I didn't know better—"
"Renee, I really don't want to talk about this now." Why was she even here? He wanted to be alone. But she had wormed her way into following him home.
"I know. You never want to talk about it." She sat down beside him, placed her hand on his leg and began to caress his thigh. "So, let's not talk. I know of better things we can do."
Normally, he would have responded to her. Instead, he reached to still her hand. "Not tonight, Renee. I'm not in the mood."
She pulled back abruptly, arching her already high brows. "Not in the mood? Well, that's a first. What gives? Wait, don't answer that. Is it because I'm not Mac?"
"Renee."
"Oh, don't try to tell me you haven't fantasized about her. Why else would you have called me Mac that time I came out of the shower?"
"She and I are friends. We work together. You know that."
"Oh yeah? Then why did you spend the entire evening with her on the porch? Don't tell me you were just talking to your friend. Did the two of you kiss?"
Harm didn't answer.
"Well! That tells me all I need to know." Throwing her hands in the air, she stood, then paced the room. "Tell me, Harm. What's going on with you and Mac? I'm your girlfriend. I have the right to know."
"Nothing."
"Sure there's not. I wasn't born yesterday."
"Renee let's not get into this now."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to have this discussion tonight."
"When do you want to talk about it?"
"Maybe it would be best that you leave."
"Why? Is it because she's coming here? Guess that's what the two of you were doing on the porch. Making plans to meet later."
Harm's jaw clenched. "Renee."
"Don't tell me you haven't slept with her. All those overnight trips together. I'm not stupid, you know."
"I've never slept with Mac."
"Sure you haven't. So tell me, when are you two going to end it? Will there be one last time before she becomes Mrs. Brumby? Or do you plan to continue? You know, I'm sure the Navy would have something to say about it. I seem to recall hearing she had committed adultery before."
Harm stood up, walked to her, and grabbed her shoulders. "You are way out of line. I will not have you talk about Mac that way. You need to leave."
"Harm, I'm sorry…I didn't mean… I hate myself when I'm this way. Please don't send me away." Tears fell from her eyes.
"You've said enough. It's over, Renee. Now get out of here."
"You can't mean it," she sobbed.
"Oh, but I do."
"No, please. I'm sorry. I'll do anything—"
"Renee, leave. Now!"
She reached for her purse, her tears still flowing. "We can't end it this way."
Harm remained silent.
"Guess I'm never going to get my miracle," she said as she walked out the door.
Harm went to the refrigerator, pulled out a bottle of beer, then sat back down on the sofa. How did he let things get this far with Renee? She was flighty and often rude to his friends. Hell, she was sometimes downright obnoxious. In some ways, she'd been fun, and she satisfied a need.
But she wasn't Mac.
Is that how long we're going to wait?
If only he could go back and do Australia again.
