Chapter 2: The First of Many Black Cards
Elliot drew the first black card and read it out loud. "What will always get you laid?"
"I can think of a few things." Fin said and gave a wink at Melinda.
"Already with the innuendoes?" Alex asked while putting a card in to the hat like everyone else.
"How am I suppose to pick?" Olivia asked.
"Don't play this too literal Olivia." John said.
"Alright, everyone put in a card?" Elliot asked. He started to pick the cards out of the hat.
What will always get you laid?
Puppies! "I can see that." Elliot said.
Morgan Freeman's voice
AXE body spray "I hope not," Olivia said. "Who would get laid by smelling like a teenage boy, they practically bathe in the stuff."
My vagina "Clearly one of the ladies put this card." Elliot smirked.
The art of seduction "Or this one," John added.
Another goddamn vampire movie "Ugh, if I have to hear my kids talk about those movies one more time I think I'm going to cry." Elliot told them. "I'm not picking that one."
He thought for a few seconds and then picked.
What will always get you laid? My vagina
"Whose card it?" Elliot looked from Olivia to Melinda to Alex, none of them answered.
"It's mine" George said meekly.
Elliot handed him the black card.
"Why did you have to put that image in my head doc?" Munch asked.
"Hey, you're the one who said don't play to literal." George retorted.
"Whose turn is it now?" Munch asked ignoring George.
"My turn," Olivia answered. She picked up a black card.
What gets better with age?
Authentic Mexican cuisine "I'm more of a Chinese food person." Olivia stated.
Exactly what you'd expect "Expect what?" Alex asked.
Me time "You can never have enough me time," Elliot quipped. "Of course unless you're one of those sickos we put away."
Half-assed foreplay "When you have nothing left to give, I can see that." Munch said
"TMI man," Fin looked at him.
The token minority "How's that get better with age?" Fin asked "And who's the token minority here? Last time I checked Mel and me are both black."
"I'm pretty sure it's George in this case." Melinda chimed in. "No offence."
George smiled "None taken."
Some god-damn peace and quiet "We could all you some of that." Olivia said.
What gets better with age? Some god-damn peace and quite
"Yes!" Alex cheered as she got the black card.
Melinda picked up a black card. "At the bottom of the card it says pick 2, it's a fill-in-the-blank."
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that [BLANK] had really been [BLANK] all along.
"I haven't seen a good M. Night movie since 'Signs'" Elliot said. "Kathy and I went to go see it on a date night."
"I've only seen 'The Sixth Sense'" Munch said while picking his cards.
"'Lady in the Water' was sort of interesting, but the payoff was awful." George said.
"I didn't think it was that bad." Alex looked at him. "Remember when we had a movie marathon; it wasn't as bad as 'The Happening.'"
"I don't think anything is as worst as that kid's movie he made." Melinda gave a sour look. "It was called 'The Last Airbender' my daughter was looking forward to it, in the end all I got to hear was how it was really different from the cartoon. Every time she sees the movie on TV she gets so mad."
Everyone was done picking their cards.
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that Copping a feel had really been Giving 110% all along.
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A hot mess had really been Menstrual rage all along.
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that Getting drunk on mouthwash had really been Unfathomable stupidity all along.
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that Goblins had really been Bitches all along.
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that Robert Downey Jr. had really been MechaHitler all along.
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A Super Soaker full of cat pee had really been Pabst Blue Ribbon all along.
They all started laughing really hard at that last one.
"Pabst is that that shitty hipster beer right?" Elliot asked.
"Hey I like it." George said. "On occasions it's…passable."
"These all sound like better movies than all of M. Night's movie combined. Fin said.
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that A Super Soaker full of cat pee had really been Pabst Blue Ribbon all along.
"Alright!" Alex cheered. "That's 2 points for me.
"Relax Alex," Munch said. "We only just started the game."
It's Fin's turn.
What never fails to liven up the party?
"Aw man, I got just the card for this question." Fin groaned. "I would have gotten a point for sure."
"Next time Fin." Olivia said while choosing between her cards.
Porn stars "Someone knows my taste." Fin smirked.
"Fin!" Melinda gave him a death glare.
"What?" he questioned. "When have strippers ever failed to liven up a party? I mean besides when they don't have the complete package."
"Fin!" Olivia was now giving him the death glare.
"Are you ladies telling me you would want to watch ugly dudes get it on?"
"No!" yelled Melinda, Olivia, Alex and George.
"Let's get back to the cards," Elliot said while trying to stifle a laugh.
Sharing needles
A bitch slap "That would be an interesting party." Munch said.
When Fin picked up the next 3 cards he just raised an eyebrow. "Really guys? Did you just pick these cards 'cause I'm black?"
Swag
The Hustle
Kanye West "He has more of an ego than he has talent!" Fin declared.
"I try and not let my kids listen to his music." Elliot told them. "But let see you do better Fin."
"Looks like El just dropped down the gauntlet." Olivia added.
Everyone just started to laugh again.
"I want to see this." Munch jeered.
"Come on Fin." Melinda smiled.
"Alright, alright." Fin tried to settle them down. "Can someone give me a beat? Why don't you Elliot? Ya know, if you can?"
"Fine," Elliot started to beat box.
Fin started to rap:
"So I'm sittin' here late at night,
Thinkin' I was gettin' ready to leave and watch the fight
Waitin' on my friends, gazing up at the moon
When Melinda, Alex and George stroll into the room
Then Elliot pulled out this game
Hell, when I saw it I thought it was lame
So far were havin' a good time
But to prove a point I had to spit some rhymes"
Everyone started to clap and laugh too.
"That's all I got."
"That wasn't too bad," Elliot joked. "I still wouldn't let my kids listen to it."
"As much as I would love to hear Fin rap again, let's get back to the game." Munch said
Fin thought for a second about what card he was going to pick.
What never fails to liven up the party? Porn stars
"I knew you'd pick that!" Elliot laughed while taking his black card.
"Now it's my turn to pick a card." Munch said, he then picked up a black card.
Author's Note: So I'm leaving it on Munch's turn for now, just so people can get a sample of what the rest of this story will be like. What do you think so far? Do you like the format? Reviews are always welcome.
