Remus reached downstairs, thanking his stars that the gap between chapters was enough to let his cursing-about-heavy-luggage go unnoticed. He never really understood why he was shown so decrepit and still had so much luggage.
His eyes drifted to each of the occupants of the room into which he'd walked. They were all there, a medley of emotions. From a sanctimonious superhero to a harassed housewife to a gay I'm-not-sure-what-relation-goes-here.
He was sure he'd never see 66.66 of those present again. At least not until the author recharged his stock of ungainly humour. But there was time to go for that. And for now, Remus finally had a life to live. He gave up the collection of sixes without wondering at the pun. Apparently he had been practicing.
"T' be t'me, Remu laddie, we must leave this place that has given you so much pane o'er the yee'rs. And besides, that wallpaper stinks, aye", said Superman, his grasp of the obvious more than easily apparent.
And so it came to pass, Remus Lupin would no longer be a guest of the Dores. He had found his window (Author's note: Sorry. That was nigh irresistible).
He was now an alumnus of The Pigs-have-warts school of Magic and other rhetoric. Remus secretly wondered if they had special courses in rhetoric. He was fairly certain he hadn't written a good love letter in sometime and after all, nymphomania could only take you that far.
But before flowers could pop out of Remus' boyish er… manly er… Never Mind mind, Superman picked him up and bid adieu. Before Remus knew what'd happened, he was touching the sky. The house was a fading memory, it's occupants but dust, waving goodbye as they were various bodily appendages.
"Do all magicians fly?" asked Remus?
"Yea, laddie, but they have to use brooms and sticks and what not, aye. Though all of them 'take off' when they hear my Australian accent", came the reply from Superman, wondering why nobody was laughing at the joke.
"Oh yeah", he realized.
"But what about you then, Superman? I don't see any wood… though you have been known to be the type who has sticks up his behind."
And before Remus could wonder why nobody was laughing at the joke, Superman spoke, "It's because of the power of the sun, Remus. It gives me this beautiful tan and lets me fly. I'm almost invincible except for… well…"
"Except for what, Superman?"
"Can't tell you boy. The less who know the better. I came across it once before, and it left me scarred. All that remained of me was a babbling idiot. It's only after years of expensive psychotherapy that I've been able to forget the trauma."
"But what about the undies on top and the accents? Are you sure you've fully recovered?"
The lack of a reply told Remus that this was the mandatory dark undercurrent of every story. And he knew better than to ask about it in the second chapter… "How will I act clueless in the remaining chapters then?" he wondered.
"We can't stay at this low altitude. We might be spotted. You'd think they'd give me a less conspicuous costume." "Hang on, we're going up", said Superman in two rapid albeit disjointed sentences.
"You might lose consciousness for sometime, Remus. But don't worry, we'll be there soon", he said, adding a third to the list.
And before Remus could venture a why, true to biology and physics and chemistry, he fainted, the sound of Superman's voice sounding faint in his ears…
"I wish you'd take a bath sometimes, Remus"
