Title: Winter Sonata
Fandom: Bleach
Disclaimer: Bleach is Tite Kubo's. Really.
Pairing: Ichimaru x Matsumoto
Summary: He promised to come back to her in winter. But will he fulfill the promise that even she had forgotten?
Rating: Teen
A/N: Will alter character focus every chapter. R&R.
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-CHAPTER ONE: THAT TO REFLECT UPON ONE'S SUCCESS -
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Ichimaru Gin woke up, expressionless; without the usual mocking smile on his face.
"Rangiku", he murmured softly, remembering his dream. The promise.
He didn't see her again before she came and entered Shinigami Academy, and the last he's seen of her was before the beam of light came and took him away from her. From her hold to his life, from the warmth she emitted whenever near.
The rapping of knuckles became louder on his door. Gin stood up nonchalantly from his bed; still a bit dazed.
The door slid open as Aizen set foot on the tatami mats of Gin's room.
"Morning, Ichimaru-kun"
Gin gave a small curt nod in reply.
Aizen. The mastermind of this whole deceit ploy; the one that brought him here. Gin never really understood why he followed this man since his first days in the Shinigami Academy. He just did.
Then again, perhaps it was just plain desperation; plain loneliness and the need to be needed. That Rangiku wasn't there with him, that she didn't need him anymore. It would seem that he had been thrown away from her life; unneeded like an old ragged doll.
But he needed her; he needed her presence, to believe that someone needs him, that someone cared enough to wait on him. But all hopes seemed to be lost by now; they were miles apart, and he knew, even if they met again, things will never be the same.
He was Ichimaru Gin, one of the traitors who left Soul Society; one who wanted to destroy it. She was Matsumoto Rangiku, one who is loyal to protecting Soul Society with all she's got; one who became his enemy the moment he betrayed Soul Society.
They were different now, more different than they were back then. They were never really the same; ever, but they were just two lonely souls looking for warmth between the ruthless reality. And so they were together, and wished that they have stayed that way instead.
But whatever it is, he sat down on a chair, gesturing Aizen; no, welcoming him, to sit in front of him, it's too late to change it now.
He was twisted since the day he realized his own conscience, yet he wasn't when he was with her. He was, in a way; still as ruthless, cold-blooded and filled with blood lust. But he'd never harm her, in fact, if anyone ever did, he'd make sure they drop more than just a little amount of blood.
Yet now, he himself had helped to draw blood around her with every intention; and the slightest bit of regret. He felt complete; and incomplete at the same time. To fulfill his lust of blood, yet to lose everything from his grasps of her.
He was obliviously losing her trust; the desires of being together were still there, yet the situation had prevented them to do so. They were no longer best friends; or nothing more, they were just work mates.
He'd steal glances at her every once in a while, but the frequent greetings; they were all gone. No more hugs, no more kisses. He was somehow robbed of her affection, yet there was no one to blame.
They weren't stolen, they just stopped coming, like how he simultaneously receded their anonymous relationship. Back to where they were before they met.
"Ichimaru-kun?"
Gin snapped out of the trance, "Huh?"
Aizen was smiling. Sitting down in front of him, silently sipping a cup of tea which Gin didn't know where it came from. Gin was quite flustered; he didn't know what to say, or what he was saying.
"Gomen Aizen-dono. What'd ya' want to talk about, again?"
"Nothing really"
Gin drew a sharp breath; a bit relieved that Aizen wasn't saying anything important which he might have missed. He feared this man; he was quite entirely a simple play. A drama filled with murder and puzzles beyond completion; or even apprehension.
Stolen. Gin wanted to say; to believe that Aizen had stolen everything from him. Yet he knew that stolen was not the correct word for it. To steal was to take to take the property of another or others without permission or right; secretly or by force.
Then again, Gin himself had willingly let go of everything and succumbed to the rule of this man. He didn't lose anything; no one stole anything from him. He abandoned everything.
Gin wanted to denounce the fact that he was following this man, this monster; the monster that had turned himself into one. He'd never even think about laying a finger with cruel intentions on Rangiku before, or anyone who they were acquainted with, on the good side. Yet now, he blithely did everything according to him. No, according to Aizen.
Gin had a look of disdain on his face. A distortion in his mind, a contortion on his face. He hated what he was doing, because he was away from Rangiku.
He would sometimes wish that he hadn't got himself into this. Yet when Aizen needed his help, he wanted to help. He wanted to be needed, he needed to be needed. He was quite at a loss of use when he felt that Rangiku had dispatched him. She had others to look out for her. He was quite useless, stressed as a minor. Then Aizen came and changed that, and so he followed the man.
He looked at Aizen. His expression hadn't really changed. That smile hasn't been wiped from his face, yet since the days of their facades in Soul Society, the warm smile had turned into a sinister one. A mocking one. Just as his had always been.
Yet he could never know what he himself was mocking. But as he could not understand his own, he could never really understand what Aizen was always smiling about.
"You seem happy today, Aizen-dono" he said as pleasantly as he could; with almost a flowery sort of tone to his voice. But he knew that Aizen could tell that it was another line from their scripts of lies. A mockery to any relationship.
"It's been a week"
Gin would usually ask since what. But he knew the answer. Since they deserted Soul Society. Since they were deemed traitors. Since he last saw Rangiku.
He mumbled a nearly incoherent yes. Then proceeded into his sets of questions.
"Aizen-dono, I was wondering, how long did it take ya' to come up with such plans?"
It was an utterly random and useless question, and he knew it.
Aizen's expression darkened for a bit, and then it returned to its normal state, "you should've asked how many decades"
Gin didn't reply.
"It was successful"
Gin did nothing but agree.
He knows. This is a different meaning of success. But for now, he didn't want to care anymore. He was tired.
"We should be ready to attack soon"
I suppose we are. "I suppose so"
Aizen smiled; perhaps satisfied with the answer. Aizen rose from his seat, heading towards the door. Gin followed him, sliding the door open with a slight bow.
"Good evening, Ichimaru-kun" he nodded.
"Evenin' Aizen-dono"
Gin closed the door, once again alone in his room and still as heavy-eyed as he was before.
It has been a week, he closed his eyes, how time flies.
He was somehow glad to rid the pressure of soul society from his life, yet he could not help to notice the thing he's missing. Rangiku.
He knew the risks of leaving, to be deemed a traitor. To be searched for, to be chased. And if found, to be killed. To never see Rangiku again as friends, or to never even see her again as anything. He knew all that. Yet he didn't care, he just went along with everything.
He pictured Rangiku's expression when he said that he was sorry. The moment she let him go.
Gin did not know why he said sorry. Whether it was for leaving her now, or for many things in the past.
Perhaps it was for all the lost years away from each other, wasted like ashes.
Like ashes.
It was successful. He reflects upon Aizen's words.
Perhaps, the means of their mission was to gain power, and to destroy Soul Society; along with Soul Society's reins on them. To be the most powerful.
He always saw it as a reason to destroy Soul Society. The terrible memories of his childhood that was carved upon his mind, playing and playing like a horror movie in black and white. Right before he meets Rangiku.
His precious Rangiku. Her world now shattered, her trust in him.
He knew she was suspicious. He had changed a lot, perhaps, yet in many ways he was still the same. He would leave without saying goodbye.
Gin had not said goodbye, or said anything about leaving, He just left. He wonders if he was breaking Rangiku's heart, like how she broke his years ago. He supposed she was not, and he wished that she was not.
He was cold, a bit feeling less they might say. Ruthless.
Yet he has a side that they all never knew. The side that was there when he was with Rangiku. Now all those were memories, memories of the past that needed to be erased.
That should not be on his mind.
He needed to concentrate, to destroy what was once part of his life. No, what he was once a part of.
He hated being in Soul Society. It was as if he was behind bars, chained to the wall from being able to feel like he used to. He never got to be with Rangiku in casual situations anymore, it was always in formal meetings.
There were not many chances, and even less of what chances are taken. They had their own worlds inside the one world that they really shared. If they ever really shared it.
He had his own little world, shielded from all the sunshine that Soul Society tried to shine on him. The blinding light that stopped him from seeing Rangiku. Then he was still chained to the walls of the prison that he entered with his own free will, with every good intention that turned different on the end. The prison he just escaped from.
Yet like every other escaping prisoner, he brought nothing valuable with him, just weapons. And that was that.
Aizen and Tousen were not really friends for him. Yet it would seem to the world outside that they were.
Gin knew better.
They were using each other. Abusing every relation there was to it, and limiting it to just that. He was alone, but so were they.
In a way, they were all alone. He was always alone, yet there was that warmth starting to pour into that hole inside his life every time Rangiku was there with him. And so that half filled hole was left empty again every time she leaves.
She was that piece of the puzzle. A puzzle made out of glass. That was his life, fragile.
And the glass puzzle was already broken into many little pieces. She had many of those pieces.
Ichimaru Gin ponders on what their point was. As Aizen often says, he wanted to become powerful.
What does Soul Society have to do with all this?
He supposed their will to destroy Soul Society's veins; its root was successful. Destroy what holds it up.
Soul Society had always centered around the existence of the shinigamis, the captains and the central 46. Then with confused leaders, the people are more confused.
Gin leaned back; the back of his head touching the edge of his chair.
They had succeeded in making Soul Society gaze in awe at them. And in hatred. The blazing hatred he felt for Rangiku's friends that had replaced him.
Soul Society trusted them to be their protectors. Yet their protectors turned out to be their worst enemy yet. Now they were officially enemies of what used to be their friends. Friends. If that was what they really were.
He would guess that Rangiku and he were really friends before. Or even more than that. Perhaps they were only too innocent to notice the blossoming feeling that exceeds friendship, or maybe that feeling hadn't existed at all.
Perhaps it was all inside his mind.
He imagined if Rangiku saw him right now. Would she smile like when they were little?
Or would she raise her sword as an enemy, if she now hates him?
Then if she raises her sword to fight him, Gin wondered if he had the courage and the heart to fight back. To fight ruthlessly facing the risk of killing her with his very own bloody hands.
Then perhaps, seeing what he could do now, he might. Yet when she challenged to fight him, he did not fight her. He still cares.
She knew that he still cared.
Success. They had a success in ruining Soul Society. Tainted its roots, its branches and burned all the leaves to nothing.
He too, was a part of Soul Society. Was once a part of soul society. And he too had fallen down in flames, withered; yet a fire blazes with curiosity inside him. Another fire to fight back. Yet he cannot fight himself.
Or the temptation of power in his mind. He was manipulated.
He contradicted what he used to care for. Yet he still cares, deep down inside the frozen heart.
He'd kill anyone but her. He'd destroy Soul Society, but not her.
And so they have crushed Soul Society; along with the chains, but for Gin, not with the feelings that he could not left behind.
It was successful.
Ichimaru Gin both agreed and disagreed with Aizen Sousuke's words, it was successful.
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- END CHAPTER ONE: THAT TO REFLECT UPON ONE'S SUCCESS -
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A/N: Whoa. And that's another chapter finished. I'm working on chapter two now. I was doing this chapter while watching the Academy Awards. I'm such an idiot. I just remembered to double space between paragraphs hee hee. I'm trying to have a target of updating every 2 weeks or so. Anyway, I hope you liked reading it. Thanks for reading, will be even more thankful if you all give me lots and lots of reviews!!! . Or I won't write anymore!! Kidding.
And here are some replies to the reviews of the prologue, or at least what review there is right now.
Zukomyprince- Thanks for the advice! If you check the prologue I attempted my best at giving him a little touch of the slang, but since English is my third language, I'm not very successful at it. I tried doing the same to this chapter but I'm still keeping the thoughts in proper English. Hee hee.
Shichimaru Gin- Thanks for adding Winter Sonata to your favorites, I really appreciated that!! I'm glad you like it and I'll try my best to update quickly!!
3karen3- Also another thank you for adding it to your faves list. Hee hee. I hope you find this chapter to your liking as well.
frozenalchemy- Thanks for reviewing!! Glad I'm poisoning you, 2 poisoned, and another 5.999.999.998 people to go!
bleedingRose11- was it that sad?Anyway, thanks for the review. Kayaknya kita harus bikin komik ini ya?
Anyway, keep on reading everyone!! I'll try my best to keep the story going!! Keep the reviews coming!! Love y'all!!
Love, erased rainbow. February 2007.
