Firestar looked back and forth at Jayfeather and Lionblaze.
"So… you're telling me that after receiving a dream from StarClan where Bluestar, Yellowfang, Spottedleaf, Lionheart, Whitestorm and Oakheart were having a party, and Bluestar and Yellowfang were making out, and Oakheart was drunkly dancing to 'It's Raining Men' by The Weather Girls and making out with Lionheart, you concluded that you should visit SkyClan?" Firestar asked, annoyed a bit.
"Yes, what if it means something important, like, that Oakheart is gay!" Jayfeather exclaimed. "I also got a prophecy from your fat mommy: Lion will touch friend, then touch friend and enemy."
"Fair enough!" Firestar exclaimed. "Cool, I wonder what Leafstar will be like…" Lionblaze wondered aloud, and the two brothers padded out of the den, and saw Hollyleaf had a wooden post in the ground, with a rope tied around Rosepetal's neck.
"Hollyleaf! What are you doing?" Lionblaze asked, concerned, and Hollyleaf had a blazing look in her eyes.
"ACCORDING TO BOOK 2, APPENDIX G, SECTION 11, SUBSECTION 28, PARAGRAPH 58, SUBPARAGRAPH 4, LINE 6… GOING TO THE DIRTPLACE IS AGAINST THE WARRIOR CODE! SHE MUST BE HANGED!" She yowled angrily, and Rosepetal struggled was swinging around in the air, choking, as the rope was tied around her neck.
None of the cats seemed to notice that their clanmate was being hanged for going piss.
"What the Dark Forest? That's not even against the code!" Jayfeather exclaimed, as Berrynose ran into the clearing.
"Don't worry! The brave, strong, and handsome Berrynose will save the day, sister!" Berrynose foolishly tried to claw the rope, and his mom, Daisy, was in the background, cheering in her cheerleading costume.
Dovewing approached the gathering cats, and meowed to Jayfeather- "I should probably cast my senses, to make sure we aren't about to be invaded by a pack of obese kittypets!" And she cast them. "EEEEWWW! BLACKSTAR IS WATCHING 'JERSEY SHORE' IN HIS DEN! EWW! LOOK WHAT HE DOES WHEN SNOOKI COMES ON THE SCREEN!" Dovewing meowed, shocked.
Eventually, Berrynose's leg fell off as he desperately struggled to cut off the rope. "Haha! Berrystumpyleg!" Cherrypaw couldn't help but laugh.
Hollyleaf laughed as Berrynose failed. "I gotta go to the Dirtplace!" Surprisingly, Rosepetal was still alive, as she coughed up blood and furballs and was choked at the sametime.
Lionblaze sighed, and signaled to Foxleap, and Foxleap began to speak. " In a world where nothing is safe… There is one hope. Super Blaze, the lion cat! With strength and looks, enough to please the ladies!"
"OH LIONBLAZE, FATHER MY KITS!" Cinderheart, Icecloud, and Blossomfall gleefully exclaimed.
"With strength and looks, enough to impress the senior warriors!" Foxleap continued.
"Man, he is such an amazingly handsome, strong and powerful cat!" Graystripe and Thornclaw meowed in unison.
"Yes, it's Super Blaze, the lion cat, with his strength and looks, here to save the day once more!" Foxleap finished in a deep movie voice.
Lionblaze ran to the rope, and severed it with one swipe of his claw. Rosepetal was hardly alive, and every cat went back to their normal activities, and Jayfeather groaned. "Great! Just what I need. To have to heal a nearly-hanged cat, and one who just lost his leg. I hate my life!" He yowled, and walked into his den, seeing Briarlight drag herself across the floor.
"Get your stupid ass up, Briarlight!" Jayfeather ordered.
Ivypool padded across the clearing. "Ugh, I hate my life, Tigerstar is making us fight obese kittypets in the Dark Forest! They're so hard to beat! One of them, even threw kitty litter at me!" She whined, as her eye secreted a tear.
"OMS! That sounds terrible!" Dovewing meowed, and Jayfeather came up to her. "Me, you, Lionblaze and Hollyleaf are going on a journey to SkyClan." He meowed. Dovewing gasped. "Yay!" Ivypool looked cross. "What the Dark Forest, Why can't I go? I didn't get to go see the Tribe, either!" She complained.
"BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT A SPECIAL STARCLAN CAT, BEOTCH!" Jayfeather yowled, and the four cats set our on their journey. Ivypool was sad, but the grinned. There would be no one to force meds upon her. This would be fun…
Note: Thanks for reading this chapter! I hope you got a laugh or two out of it. What do you think Ivypool will do? Review, and I'll update super soon!
