Plot bunnies are weird. Well you'll see below. I do have to say it's not to my usual level of editing but I needed to get past the chapter so I apologize for any mistakes. Perhaps in a few chapters, I'll come back and fix any mistakes.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Not sleeping is something I have had amazing luck with since recent developments emerged. Apparently when you find out you are carrying a baby your mind (or at least my mind) made it nearly impossible to sleep. It didn't help my Damon was not staying in bed either. I spent many hours waiting up for him but he only came to bed when light came in the windows. Soon enough I was getting up to leave for the Center and attempting to not lose my breakfast.

By the time I returned home, Damon had vanished. Dinner was spent alone and then the night repeated. I didn't understand what was going on and I could hardly catch him for an explanation. He was secretive and evasive about everything. I had thought he was planning Valentine's Day since he loved secret getaways and surprises. If he could mix them then it was pure heaven.

He was scaring me and I didn't like what I was seeing. We had always been close and we had always been completely honest with each other. Suddenly it was like Damon didn't want to be in the same room as me. The only thing that came to mind was the baby and I didn't like that thought. I didn't like it all.

So I did what I always did, I accepted it. I remained silent on the matter and I threw myself into the kids at the Center and my own fantastic dreams. What would our child look like? Would she have her father's smile or would he have my eyes? I spent hours picturing our child and I fell in love with the baby. I snuck peeks into a Center book on pregnancy every chance I could get and I made appointments with the nutritionist. I would do anything for my child.

What I hadn't been prepared for had been the fight to happen two days before Valentine's Day. We almost never fought and when we did it was over something stupid. We never said hurtful things to one another and it had never led to us not speaking. Neither of us ever left our home in order to get away, to escape. It had all started after the doctor's appointment but it hadn't completely escalated until the end of the week.

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"What do you mean you don't want to tell anyone?" I asked incredulously. Damon had dropped that bomb on me as we walked out of the office. His hand was still chilled and I knew he had gotten the most unexpected surprise of his life. I was in love with the news but he didn't seem quite as thrilled.

"Well I just think we should get used to it ourselves before we start telling everyone," he answered quickly. I didn't like the implications but I had learned to accept Damon's statements. When he was ready we could discuss what was really going on.

"Well I guess we should wait another month anyway. Some problems occur in the first three months and it might be better to wait," I added thoughtfully. He tugged my hand suddenly and began escorting me towards one of the little cafes on the main street.

Minutes later we were seated and I was looking at a glass of apple juice. Damon had said nothing other than a quick order for a scotch. I watched him throw it back and gesture for another. I sipped my juice thoughtfully and turned to watch people on the streets. Our town was so beautiful and picturesque. Kids were playing in the park, throwing balls back and forth and swinging their legs in glee.

My hand slid down to my stomach and I played with the fabric. I felt as if warmth was spreading throughout me and I smiled. I'd always wanted a child and now to be having one with Damon felt like the greatest gift of all. Two pregnant women sat on the benches nearby, laughing and showing each other pictures of their other children.

"Do you want a salad," Damon asked suddenly. I looked over at him and noticed he wouldn't meet my eyes. He was staring at his menu as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. I reached out to slide my hand against his and he jumped. He glanced at me sheepishly before laying the menu down.

"That would be nice," I replied. I traced designs on the back of his hand until he turned it over, taking mine in his. His eyes still avoided mine but I was seeking his touch for comfort so I let it go. Food ordering remained the same and no conversation passed between us. It should have been the first red flag.

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The second red flag was our lack of intimacy. Damon wasn't sharing a bed with me and he certainly wasn't attempting to seduce either. It came as a blow since Damon loved sex and he loved dragging me off to various corners. Since our engagement we had only skipped days periodically and I was surprised when he stopped trying to seduce.

The third red flag wasn't much of a flag. It was more of a bomb in the water. The fight sort of came out of nowhere but at the same time I couldn't believe I didn't see it coming. All the signs were there but I guess because we didn't fight very much, it just slipped through.

It all began with red flag number one's line.

"What do you mean you don't want to tell anyone?" I asked during a rare moment we were together. He was pacing the floor while I sat at my vanity. It was a new purchase and Damon had surprised me with it after a weekend getaway. He had some sort of thing about brushing my hair so it was more for him. His hands always moved with purpose and I wondered if he'd missed his calling as a hair dresser.

"I just think we should wait," he replied testily. He was clutching a glass of scotch tightly and I mentally counted the number of drinks I'd seen him with in the past few days. I didn't like the mounting number. I sat the brush down with a clatter and turned to face him.

"Why do you not want to talk about this?" I asked forcefully. I was absolutely sick of dealing with his avoidance. Couldn't he see I needed to talk and I needed some comfort? I was scared too and I needed him.

"Because I don't know how I feel about it," he shot back. "I don't like feeling closed in and I don't like the surprise."

"Damon, it's happened and we need to discuss this!" I replied. I stood up and moved to stand before him. He looked at me in surprise but I held my ground. We were going to discuss this, damn it!

"You need to back off so I can think about this!" He raised his voice.

"You need to stop only thinking about yourself! I need to talk to you and we need to figure out what we're going to do," I explained calmly.

"You mean you need to figure it out. You said you were covering protection but somehow you're pregnant!" He yelled. I stepped back as if slapped. How could he imply I was trapping him? Did he really think so little of me?

"You don't want the baby," I said quietly. I repeated the statement again and turned from him. I knew it wasn't planned but I thought he would be supportive and try to at least talk about it. I never thought he would react so negatively. I stumbled back into my seat as he started muttering quietly.

"I didn't say that," he finally replied. He didn't have to since I could hear it in his voice. Sometimes he seemed to forget I knew him so well. Why he couldn't tell what I needed now was what surprised me. Usually he was immediate in his responses and he was honest to the point of being rude but now he was hiding things.

"But you meant it," I stated.

"Maybe," he whispered.

"I see."

"Look I get that you need a family but I have one already," he said bitterly. I froze and my hands dropped to my lap. I felt the tears bubble to the surface and I bit my lip to hold them back. Damon had never said anything so horrible to me. Through everything we'd been through together he'd never said something like that, something that hurt so deeply.

I stood suddenly and reared back, slapping him. I froze with my hand raised and then glanced at it like I'd never seen it before. Had I really slapped him? His cheek was turned to the side but I could see the anger.

"You're right," I began. "Little orphan Elena has no family so why not trap the man she loves into a family."

"Elena..." he said quietly.

"No! I get it. I've been playing pretend right? I'm just like Klaus except its worse. I'm too old to get a family. I'm alone," I said tearfully.

"No Elena...I'm..."

"Save it! I won't freeload anymore. I'm going to Bonnie's. I can come get my stuff or whatever so I won't encroach on your family any more. I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome," I said as I grabbed my purse. As I brushed past him, he didn't move but I saw the grimace on his face. The fact that he didn't stop me broke my heart.

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"Elena, where's Becca?" Klaus asked when he came running into the room suddenly. I threw the book under the nearest pillow and pulled Klaus into my lap. He swung his legs back and forth and looked up for an answer.

"Becca is sleeping on your bed," I answered. Truthfully we were trying some separation since Klaus would be starting school in the fall. He couldn't take Becca with him and we had fallen to separating them for brief periods of time. Usually he didn't notice but occasionally, like now, he noticed and came running.

His hair was getting longer and it would need a cut soon. I reached out to tug on the long strands and he looked up at me with a big smile. His fingers grasped wrist and he played with the charm bracelet. He loved playing with the silver bracelet with its multi-colored charms. His favorite was the lion and he was always playing with it in one way or another.

On his wrist was a matching friendship bracelet to the one Damon wore. I traced the red thread on his wrist and he giggled when it tickled. He was all smiles today and I hugged him to me, choking back tears.

"It's okay Elena," he said softly as he wrapped his arms around me. "At least the sun is shining." It was a statement we told the kids who needed to look on the bright side of things. For children who didn't have much they were taught to be positive and try to see what they did have versus what they did not.

"I'm all right," my voice cracked. I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed with Damon but that wasn't going to happen. I would either have to return and sleep alone or return to Bonnie's and hope she didn't ask questions.

"It's okay to cry Elena," he said quietly. "You always say it's okay to cry." I broke down and began sobbing and I found comfort with the little boy. He held me and hugged me deeply as I cried. I crushed him to me as I cried, tears dropping onto his little red shirt.

After long moments I pulled back and smiled at him lightly. I wiped the tears from my eyes and murmured my thanks. He smiled at me and asked if I was okay before sliding to the floor and running off.

"I'll get Becca," he said. "She always makes me feel better." I nodded a little and focused on my hands. I hated feeling like this and I hated making a spectacle. I was the strong one and I didn't like feeling weak.

"You're beautiful," a voice said. My eyes flew to meet Damon's and I gasped. He was standing in the doorway holding a bouquet of yellow roses. He moved forward and kneeled in front of me, taking my hand in his.

"Damon..." I whispered. I hated being angry with him and it was exhausting. He looked so sad as he took my other hand and brought it to his lips.

"You're so beautiful Elena," he began again. "I'm so so sorry. You shouldn't even have to look at me."

"Damon..."

"No," he sighed. "I never should have said that and I'm so sorry you had to hear it from me. You have a family Elena and I never want you to doubt that. You have me forever Elena." He laid the flowers on the bed next to me and he slid his arms around my waist, leaning down to press a kiss to my stomach.

"Damon, what are you...?" I asked softly.

"I'm going to love this baby and I'm going to make you feel like the Goddess you are, every single step of the way," he said. "I'm sorry I haven't been happy but I'm scared, Elena."

"What are you afraid of?" I asked him. I reached out to run my fingers through his hair gently, completing his favorite soothing activity. He leaned into my touch and I smiled gently.

"What if I'm not good enough? What if something goes wrong?" he said with a shudder.

"Damon, I'm scared too but we'll have each other and I need you," I said. He pulled me against him and buried his head against my stomach. He whispered his apologies over and over until he grew quiet. "I need you so much! I'm so scared and when you pushed me away it broke my heart and then you said those things to me and it brought back all those memories."

"What memories?" he asked.

"Kids always said your family was taking pity on me all those years. Handouts for little orphan Elena was always whispered and your attention questioned," I explained.

"They were jealous because I only had eyes for you, even then. You've been the one girl I've loved more than anything. Somehow I forgot how you'd feel about all this and I was selfish. You know I'm horrible at being selfless," he said.

"You've always done just fine," I replied as tears gathered again. I began to wonder if hormones were already affecting me.

I felt the tears bubble up and he reached up to pull me in for a kiss. His lips were soft but kissing while sobbing was definitively different. His hands were rough as they held me to him as if afraid I would push him away.

"I can never do enough to prove how sorry I am," he said. "I know I've been behaving horribly and I'm sorry. I just never...I never thought we would be having a child and I reacted like an ass. I don't know if I'm ready to share you."

"Damon, having a child will bring us closer together and you're not going to lose me because of this. We've been in love for so long and we've had 17 years together. My goal is spend the next however long we have together with our children and grandchildren. I'm scared too but I just know that everything is going to be all right as long as we're together," I said. He buried his face against my stomach again and I giggled quietly.

"I'm sorry I screwed up our pre-Valentine's Day plans," I whispered. He chuckled against my stomach.

"No, if anyone screwed it all up it was me," he said. His lips still kissed my stomach as he spoke, his nose nuzzling in between words.

"I don't want to be mad anymore," I said.

"Neither do I. Let's go away this weekend and we can talk about everything. I do want us to talk before we tell everyone else," he explained.

"Damon!" Klaus called as he flew in and jumped on Damon's back. The sudden movement surprised us both but I could see the smile on Damon's face. He loved that little boy and I knew Damon would make an amazing father.

"Hey little man," Damon replied. Klaus handed me Becca and immediately started telling Damon about everything he'd missed in the past week. Heads bent closely together and I felt a little tug near my heart. I wanted this. I wanted to scoop up this little boy and take him home and I wanted my family.

"Elena," Damon began, "I love you." His smile was broad as he lifted Klaus into his arms. I knew what his plans were by the smile. We were spending the day with the little boy who had captured our hearts and then we would say goodbye again. I wasn't sure whether it was better to spend time or better to not see him as often. It broke my heart to leave him here day after day and I knew Damon felt the same way even when he wouldn't admit it.

"I love you too Elena!" Klaus called. Here, surrounded by these boys I just knew everything would be okay.

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So somehow this little idea of a fight popped into my head and it wouldn't leave. I could have dragged it out and left us in agony over their reconciliation but I decided against that. Many of you know how much I hate angst. It's really hard for me to write it so it tends to be brief.

Next chapter will be Valentine's Day and they'll discuss this major change in their lives. I'm still working on Clue Me In but we'll see when the next chapter can get finished.

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