Happy St David's day! For all who don't know, this is when we in this little part of the UK eat loads of Welsh Cakes and (for those who have children) send you kids in traditional Welsh clothing (either a rugby shirt for boys, or a traditional dress and funny hat for girls).

Special thanks to Damandav and Strayphoenix for reviewing this first entry. Glad you guys liked it - please R&R!

This week, everyone's favourite shapeshifter is having a few problems...


I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life.

There I was, making myself a nice big breakfast of sausages, baked beans, fried tomatoes, fried bread and fried Hoogong eggs - hey, breakfaast is the most important meal of the day, especially when you've got a busy day of creating havoc ahead of you. I tell you, Nerissa may be cool but she's one hell of a slave driver. We trashed ten villages yesterday. Ten! Can you believe it? I've never spat so much webbing in my entire life! It's fun, but I can't see how trashing a shedload of villages is going to help us conquer the universe.

Anyway, I was just sitting down to my breakfast when Raythor comes in holding a letter for me. I looked at the address on the envelope:

Miranda
c/o The Knights of Vengeance
The Secret Cave Hideaway
Meridian

Puzzled, I opened it. There was a card inside. A hand-made one, and it was pink. PINK! Yuk! My least favourite of colours. It was decorated in hearts and had something about 'My Valentine' written on it. I've got no idea what a 'Valentine' is, and neither did the others - mind you, they're all a bit thick so that's hardly surprising. Nerissa would probably know, cos she's a bit smart.

I'm getting well curious, and so are the other guys cos they're all looking over my shoulder like a nosey bunch of whatsits. Well, except for Sandpit - he was too busy wooshing about the place as usual. He's a funny one, Sandpit - ever since Nerissa freed him from that pit, he's been making the most of his freedom, swooshing from here to there without a care in the world. It's kinda funny in a way, but bloody annoying too.

Anyway, the card. I opened it, and everyone immediately burst out laughing.

Roses r red
Vyolits r blue
Youll never gess wot
This snayk luvs you!

Can you believe it? That idiot Cedric sent me a love card. A love card of all things! I feel sick. I wish the ground had just opened up and swallowed me right there and then. Or better yet, open up and swallow the others. Especially Frost, cos he gets on my nerves - I swear he winked at me the other day. I'd love to know how Cedric sent this card though - I don't remember there being a mail service in that prison. And as for his handwriting - you'd think someone who worked for ages in a bookshop would know how to spell. I tell you, if I ever get my claws on him, he's in for the biting of his life.

Thankfully, we didn't have so many villages to trash today. I don't think I could take much more of the guys teasing me. Raythor kept picking up snakes and worms and saying "Hey look Miranda, it's your boyfriend!" He was really annoying me - I mean, really annoying me... so I bit him. That'll teach him.

When we got back, Tracker insisted we do a spot of spring-cleaning. I don't see why I should have to do it though, cos he makes most of the mess, leaving empty sweet wrappers and drinks cans scattered around the cave. And he STILL not doing anything about that damn dog of his. I stepped in yet another of Tracker's 'presents' this afternooon. I decided enough was enough... so I bit him. That'll teach him.

Ah well, best get off to bed. I need my beauty sleep - I think Nerissa's got something special planned tomorrow, and I really want to look my cutest. I am a cutie, aren't I?

(No Frost, I wasn't asking you - jerk)

Nighty night then, dear diary.

Luv
Miranda
♥♥♥