Chapter 2: A Blunted Mission


"It's good to see you, Kyubey!" Madoka grinned, petting the white space-cat firmly. Her mother didn't like animals, but Madoka had always, always wanted a kitty. Or a pony. Either would have been exactly what she needed. "You're so adorable, and you're fur is soooo soft!" Again she stroked the creature, enjoying the feel of it's velvety fur between her tiny fingers. "Have I ever told you that before?"

Yes it is and yes you have. Kyubey struggled to free itself from its position under the pinkette's arm. Madoka held on even tighter, worried about dropping the fuzzy creature. Its long ears waved helplessly as the petite girl continued to pet it, harder and faster.

Petting was good. It built trust, an important commodity for an Incubator. Kyubey reminded itself of this as it endured the girl's surprisingly forceful pressure.

Still, when Madoka began to sit down, her grip loosened and the creature was out of her grip and across the floor in the blink of an eye. Are you going to let me know what you're up to? Kyubey projected, slinking behind Mami's chair as the pinkette took a step toward it.

"Even better, we'll show you. Come on up, Kyubey." Kyoko patted the couch cushion next to her enticingly. "Promise I won't bite," she assured, displaying her sharp canines in a way that gave Madoka the shivers as she sat back down, disappointed.

Beady pink eyes stared for a moment as the creature's advanced intellect analyzed the situation. Sitting next to a human was a sign of acceptance, and by extension trust. Kyubey had been heavily conditioned to affirm and strengthen such feelings in the girls it worked with, since trust made the process so much easier and more efficient, especially when setting up the final energy harvest.

Also, proximity led to petting, which further increased the strange emotional bonds that these creatures mysteriously developed through proximity and physical contact. Its bushy, fox-like tail swished through the air twice. Sakura Kyoko wasn't one to show affection under normal circumstances. Subtle analysis determined that the opportunity was too good to pass up. The redhead was typically unpredictable and difficult to manipulate.

Never the less, Kyubey had grave concerns sitting next to the veteran. It had replacements, of course, but the process of death was never entirely painless.

Finally, unable to resist, Kyubey hopped up onto the couch in a spry leap, turning around twice before sitting down. Behavioral camouflage, as were so many of its mannerisms. Resting its tail over the harmless-looking paws, the incubator gazed around the room expectantly.

Lots of potential in this room, it acknowledged privately. These five girls, a miniscule, insignificant fraction of the girls it had successfully converted on its centuries-long deep-cover mission, would account for a not-insignificant portion of the energy it had produced over its entire career.

The pink eyes continued to stare glossily, the reserved smile unwavering. What is it you want to show me?

Smiling, Kyoko stood up. "Let me go get it quick. No spot jacks," she warned, looking at Sayaka and Homura, then shooting a long, hard stare at Mami before heading toward the back of the apartment, disappearing into the blonde's room.


Kyoko walked out of Mami's room a minute later, carrying some things, including the large glass water pipe, in the blonde's clothes hamper. Mami frowned as she saw this, imagining, quite accurately, every piece of her laundry scattered messily across her floor. The redhead, expecting this, caught her eye and winked.

Is that where the odor is emanating from? Kyubey asked, standing up warily as Kyoko flopped down next it on the couch. Setting the basket on the floor at her feet, she removed the device carefully, placing it on the table. Next came a box of something, and then some random clothing that happened to still be in the hamper.

Tiger-like, Kyoko sprung.

What is the meaning of this? Kyubey asked, its voice ringing obnoxiously high within the girls' minds. Laughing, the redhead rested an arm on top of the overturned laundry basket, watching her prisoner through the gaps between the plastic mesh. Seeing the paws futilely press against the makeshift cage was almost too much, and in her hysterics Kyoko nearly fell off the couch. Madoka was staring, wide eyed and uncertain what was going on. Sayaka felt a little bad for the creature, knowing firsthand how roughly the veteran could treat those she'd taken prisoner.

"Madoka, come sit on top," Kyoko urged, but the pinkette shook her head. The redhead frowned, looking at Mami, then Sayaka. "You two got too much meat on you; you'd crush this thing for sure." At the moment she didn't even remember Homura was there.

"I'm not sitting on an overturned laundry basket, anyway," Mami declared firmly, crossing arms underneath her generous chest. "Not in my own house. And I will not participate in anything that resembles kidnapping." She did her best to ignore the adoring azure gaze that washed over her, feeling uncomfortably warm all of a sudden.

"Calm down, you know we're not gonna hurt him."

"We're not?" Everyone turned to look at Homura, whose bloodshot, bleary eyes stared at the white creature in disappointment. The transfer student lost interest and went back to what she was doing before: sitting in a chair.

Kyubey was confident it could have gotten free, but that would necessitate letting the girls know some of the things it was capable of. And it had been very, very careful to maintain the innocent/benevolent/emotionless space-cat persona. Instead, going with the dignified route, it sat down on it's hind paws, cocking its head to the side. I still do not understand what you are doing. Are you afraid of my interference in your activities, Sakura Kyoko? If so, let me assure you I have no interest in doing so, I am merely here to observe. The fox-like ball of fur flicked its tail from underneath the clothes hamper, almost irritably.

Kyoko paid the thing no heed, glancing around the room. "I need something heavy," she thought aloud, and Kyubey sighed to itself. It was pointless to speculate; there was no way of knowing what the erratic girl was up to. It was one of those situations where only time would tell. It sat back, waiting patiently and watching every detail.


Eying her prisoner in its makeshift cage, Kyoko got up and fiddled with Mami's laptop. Looking satisfied with herself, she went to sit down again, but froze after a few steps. "I can't hear it."

Mami looked up, looking exceptionally patient. "Kyoko, remember you have to plug the speakers in, first. And turn them on…" She sighed as the redhead shot her a dirty look before staring down at the cords in confusion.

"There's too many, this is too confusing. Why do you have all these cords? What do they even do?" Kyoko's voice had increased in volume in direct correlation to her sense of helplessness. She didn't relax until Mami stood up and approached. "Finally. Fix it," she muttered, heading back to her seat.

"Oh no," Mami said firmly, grabbing onto Kyoko's arm. "You're going to learn this, right now, so you never have to ask me again. That's like the hundredth time!" Madoka, Homura and Sayaka exchanged glances. Apparently these two hung out together quite often. "And there are three cords, Kyoko, which shouldn't be too many. Even for someone with a first grade level of education," she prodded at one of the girl's many weak points. Someone gasped. "One of them is the power cord," she explained exaggeratedly. "So the battery doesn't die. Remember how you unplugged it and lost my essay-"

"Not my fault you don't save your stuff," Kyoko said shortly, drawing a flat look of golden ire.

"This one," the blonde continued, "goes to the speakers. See how the cord connects between those speaker-looking things and the computer?" Her innocent tone was a barely maintained pretense by this point, and Sayaka couldn't help snickering to herself.

Homura looked around, twisting in her chair. It was like she could hear an eerie droning coming from everywhere at once. Suddenly, the sound was a guitar thrumming in a crescendoing buildup, and then the bass kicked in-

~I like to dream~

Kyoko was swaying her shoulders to the song as she leaned over the water pipe, starting things up. Sayaka watched her, oblivious of Madoka's similar stare. Mami circumspectly leaned over, turning the volume down incrementally.

Sayaka leaned forward as Kyoko straightened, almost making the redhead choke from the sudden proximity. "I… my throat still hurts…" the blunette began, and the older girl stared at her in confusion. "So… maybe you can… do that thing again?" Kyoko, reaching her limit, allowed herself a smile as she bent towards the blue-haired trollop she'd begun to corrupt.

~Well... you don't know what… we can find~

Homura ignored the two girls on the couch who appeared to be making out, leaning forward to grab the object.

~Why don't you come with me little girl… on a magic carpet ride~

Hmm, she thought to herself, lighting the thing up like she'd seen the redhead and sucking a huge quantity of smoke up into the glass tube. Song's kind of creepy, she considered while clearing the chamber in one great intake of breath.

~You don't know what~

"Hey," Kyoko coughed, tapping Homura on the shoulder. Little puffs of smoke were being expelled from between her lips as the transfer student struggled to keep herself from erupting. "Blow it there," the redhead insisted, pointing at Sayaka. Shaking her head, Homura frowned, but then Kyoko had pushed the blunette off the couch.

"Hey!" a voice complained from the floor.

Oh, I see. Homura leaned over, blowing everything she had into the overturned laundry basket currently serving as Kyubey's kennel.

If it had possessed the required physiology, Kyubey would have wrinkled its nose. Very amusing, it began, then abruptly began coughing cutely.

~Why don't you tell your dreams to me. Fantasy will set you free~

Definitely creepy. The black-haired girl finished exhaling in a tremendous series of coughs, her watering eyes missing the white-furred creature cringe as it felt the girl's spittle rain down.

~Close your eyes girl, look inside girl~

Woozily, Akemi Homura thought that sounded like fantastic advice, leaning her head back into the cushion heavily.

~Let the sound take you awaaaay!~

"I want to try this time," Madoka declared, grabbing the heavy object with both hands. "But… could someone help me like Kyoko-chan was?" She asked humbly, head down, but her eyes were watching Homura craftily. After a few moments, however, it became obvious that the girl was not moving.

"I'll 'help' you, Madoka-chan," Mami said agreeably, taking the bong out of Madoka's slender hands. "We don't need to touch, or anything, either. You just breathe in when I blow it at you."

It took a moment for Sayaka to comprehend what Mami was saying. "Wait, you don't need to ki-... touch?" She glanced at Kyoko, who was looking back with exaggerated curiosity and innocence. "You jerk!"

Madoka leaned forward as Mami prepared herself, listening to the strange, soothing bubbling. Holding up a finger, the blonde let the smoke linger inside of her for a few moments before motioning to the pinkette. Madoka, intent on what she was doing, leaned even further, puckering her lips and opening her mouth just a little bit. As Mami turned her head, golden curls bouncing enticingly, framing the curves of her chest, the pinkette darted forward, pressing her lips firmly against the older girl's, just as she'd seen Kyoko and Sayaka do it, and sucked in as hard as she could.

Blushing, Mami pulled back after a few moments with a delicate cough into a fist. "Or, we could do it that way." Madoka got up, rather unsteadily, and lurched over to Kyubey, watching in fascination as the blast of smoke shot out of her to engulf its cage.

Sayaka and Kyoko cheered, and the pinkette curtseyed, promptly falling backwards flat on her ass. The girls cheering continued, even louder and slightly hysterical.


Two trips around the circle later, everyone was feeling comfortably lazy, staring at Kyubey. The creature's whole body, from both sets of ears to its foxlike tail, hung limply.

You humans, Kyubey said. The girls waited patiently as the creature began cleaning its muzzle with a paw. It looked up. You humans, it began, before glancing sharply at the door. Mami looked at Kyoko, who was looking at Sayaka out of the corner of her eyes. Sayaka and Madoka had their hands over their mouths, stifling giggles.

"What, Kyubey?" Mami prodded.

You humans. Some of the things you do make no sense to me. What is it about spatial proximity that increases your emotional investment in one another? There are billions of humans on this planet, hundreds of millions of girls who are essentially no different from you. Why do you feel no connection to those people, even though they have just as much in common with you as someone like that Hitomi girl? Does it have something to do with your limited perceptive capacity? Or perhaps the solitary, disconnected form of sentience your unremarkable race has developed through the strange evolutions of this rather boring planet?

Five pairs of eyes stared at it blankly. "What is he talking about?" Sayaka whispered. Madoka shrugged, her fingers clenching unconsciously as she thought about running them through that soft fur again. You won't get away this time! Madoka's thought was so powerful that Kyubey leapt up, twisting in a half circle before it landed facing the pinkette.

It stared, eyes a deep, burning red. The girls stared back, a veritable rainbow of irises, heavy-lidded and bloodshot.

What were we talking about? Kyubey asked, puzzled. Kyoko laughed.

"Your butt!" Madoka cried, and everyone was laughing like it was the funniest fucking thing they'd ever heard.

Except the incubator. The internal diagnostics were revealing some troubling findings. The data cache of the past few minutes was surprisingly vague and incomplete. Almost corrupted-

"Gotcha!" Madoka cheered as she scooped up the cat-like creature with all her might.


Something was wrong. Warily, Kyubey turned its head a fraction. There it is! Seeing the white shape dart out of its field of view, the incubator leapt up, spinning around and trying to catch the thing that kept running around behind it.

It looked down at its paws. Nothing.

There it was again! Springing high, the white space-cat spun around and around, chasing the elusive flash of white that had been pestering it for the past several minutes. But once again, it's opponent had succeeded at staying just beyond the incubator's grasp.

Madoka giggled, the sound like wind chimes, almost musical, compared to Kyoko's barking laughter. Sayaka watched, fascinated, as Kyubey continued to chase its tail.


Sayaka yawned.

"Oh no you don't," Kyoko said, instantly in the blunette's face. Backing away, Sayaka yawned again.

"Sorry, just *yaaawn*... just getting tired."

Catching herself starting to yawn, the redhead clamped her mouth shut and held her breath. This won't do at all. She had to think fast. Failing to consider caffeine, her mind settled immediately on her old standby.

Slap!

Every head in the room turned toward the distinctive sound of hand meeting face as Kyoko danced away from the red-cheeked blunette who blinked, twice, before charging the older girl. Laughing maniacally, Kyoko barely avoided the girl's surprising quick hands, shedding her unzipped hoodie like some bizarre reptilian defense mechanism. Kyoko pranced away, more than happy to show off her bare shoulders and well-toned arms. Sayaka came to a stop, staring at the green jacket as the other girl kept running. It was iconic, almost; something as Kyoko as that wild, red mane of hair or her crazy-sharp teeth. It was like she was holding a piece of the girl in her hands.

"This is getting flushed down the toilet," she stated, turning towards the bathroom.

Kyoko abruptly reversed course. "Nooooo!" But Sayaka was already slamming the bathroom door shut. The redhead rammed into it loudly-

"Kyoko, so help me if you break that door again-"

"Mami!" the veteran whined, her voice uncharacteristically high. "She's flushing my special sweatshirt-"

Flooooshhhhhhh.

"NOOOO!" Kyoko stepped back, ready to shoulder the door right off its hinges. After all, she'd done it before. But this time, Mami wasn't on the other side… she was standing right next to her.

"Kyoko, no." The full-figured blonde leaned past her friend, rapping gently on the bathroom door.

"Occupied," someone giggled from inside.

Floooooshhhhhhh.

"AAHHH! No! No! No!" Kyoko struggled against the blonde's tenacious grip, twisting like a cat. "Don't you dare, Miki Sayaka! Don't you da-"

Flooooooshhhhhh.

Madoka tried to exchange a nervous glance with Homura, but the black-haired girl was watching with the floor in fascination. Looking down, the pinkette was astounded to see Kyubey rolling on it's back. It would roll one way first, stopping, then roll back the other way. Back and forth, over and over, the white space-cat rolled across the carpet. "K-Kyubey, are you… okay?" Its soft fur was starting to look distinctly frazzled.

Never better, literally, since I am incapable of ever being subjectively 'better' or 'worse' than I am in my current state, came a calm, emotionless voice from inside her head. Why do you ask?

"No reason," Madoka assured, watching the creature continue its compulsive rolling.

Flooooooshhhhh.

Kyoko had collapsed on the floor, looking like she was weeping or something. Mami knew exactly what the redhead was up to the second she'd gone boneless on her. Sakura Kyoko never, ever just went limp. Except under very specific, and wildly different, circumstances. "Don't even think about it," the looming blonde stated, leaning her head around her obstructive chest to look down at the feigning girl. Placing a foot on top of the redhead's, Mami pressed down hard. "Alright, Miki-san, that is enough!"

Sayaka opened the door, Mami's stern tone of voice announcing that the fun was over. Hangdog, the blunette walked back towards the living room. Mami stumbled as the redhead jerked away, lunging into the bathroom with a desperate expression. Frowning, the blonde took a deep breath. If Sayaka had clogged her toilet-

There, in the toilet, was… nothing. "It's gone," Kyoko wailed. On the couch, Sayaka leaned back, grinning widely. Madoka looked at the blunette, and it was like seeing a stranger. She turned back to watch Kyubey, who had stopped moving and sat motionless, shoulders tensed. Suddenly, its head snapped around, whipping its long ears behind as it seemed to stare intently at something.

Frown deepening, Mami stared. The jacket had been threadbare and ratty, but there's no way it could have fit down the-

"If you're wondering how it fit down the toilet," a voice called from the living room, "I ripped it into pieces first!" When Sayaka had shouted, Homura and Madoka burst into giggles as they watched the small white creature leap what was easily a meter into the air as her voice startled it.

Mami and Kyoko weren't able to see Sayaka's uncontainable grin, or that she'd clamped both hands over her mouth to keep from laughing. "What's going on?" Madoka asked breathlessly, trying to contain the amusement she felt at her little cat friend's behavior. "Did you really…?"

Sayaka shook her head, still unable to speak for fear of letting the laughter loose. What kind of idiot flushes a shirt down a toilet? she wondered. The kind they must think I am, I guess. She tried to control the funny noises coming from between her lips, but it was just too much.

Sayaka couldn't see Kyoko's expression; if she had, she may not have remained amused at the situation. "I'll kill her," the crimson-haired girl vowed, eyes blazing.

"No you won't," Mami corrected.

"No." Kyoko's eyes were suddenly sad; Mami didn't know if she was thinking about the jacket, or disappointed in herself for not being able to follow through with the violence. Kyoko was complicated that way. "I know. But… man. That jacket… it was like a friend."

Mami sighed quietly. Maybe this wasn't so bad. She knew how much the old thing meant to her friend, but at the same time, she'd been trying to get her to go out shopping for so long… "We'll need to replace it," she began indelicately, thinking of the places she needed to visit.

"Goodbye, old friend," Kyoko said, sniffing, as she stared at the toilet bowl. "You were… a faithful… companion."

"There are a few places in the mall we could try-"

"It's behind the towels, dumbass!" This pronouncement was followed by the laughter of a single girl out in the main area. Mami immediately found the green shirt against the wall, stuffed behind the hanging towels. It was even fairly obvious, what with the lumpiness and the way she could see there was clearly something stuffed behind the towel. Wonder how I missed that?

"You're back!" Kyoko crowed gleefully, spinning in a circle. Mami took a step back, sputtering when the long red ponytail whap'd her right in the face. Slipping her jacket on again and zipping it up, Kyoko vowed never to take it off again. "Not even to wash," she muttered to herself.

"Oh yes you will," said the blonde, straightening her drill-curls. She knew the other girl well enough to have understood the train of thought that had led to such a statement. "It's bad enough the way it looks, Kyoko. I will not tolerate it stinking up my place with your B.O.-"

"I do not smell!" insisted Kyoko, casually raising an arm in a fake stretch and bending her neck to glance at her shoes. *Sniff*

"Nice." Mami rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Maybe that's true; maybe that's the problem. You don't smell yourself, sometimes."

Kyoko frowned thoughtfully. "Is that why you're always making me… take baths?" She finished decidedly more flushed than she'd begun.

"Well, as to that…" Mami's cheeks colored a bit as well, and she turned toward the door with impressive haste. "Let's go join our company."


"Thanks for not ripping up my favorite shirt and flushing it down the toilet," Kyoko said, half-mockingly. In truth, she was rather happy she didn't have to murder the girl.

Sayaka looked up, uncertain of the redhead's tone. "Thank you for not…" Her snappy response died on her lips, unable to think of anything good. After a few moments Mami cleared her throat. Everyone turned to look at her, but she just shrugged and looked at Sayaka expectantly.

The others followed her eyes back to Sayaka. "Um… Mario Kart, anyone?"


Mami shook her head sadly, watching Princess Peach pull away from the rest of the pack. She glanced down at the corner of the screen, watching Homura's mushroom guy bang repeatedly into a wall. The sight was so funny, she nearly missed a critical turn, cursing under her breath.

Someone else had noticed the transfer student's situation. "Homura-chan, you're not going anywhere!" Madoka cried, watching from over her shoulder. The girl she addressed squinted, leaning forward: the whole screen was so colorful, leaping out at her in confusing patterns and shades. Her sense of depth perception was completely wacked. Or perhaps it's just my ability to perceive the illusion of depth on a two dimensional plane, she wondered.

"I'm fine, no, actually, you play," Homura said, changing her mind mid-sentence. She thrust the controller behind her, wiggling it up and down when it wasn't immediately taken out of her hand.

"Oh, um, okay." Madoka took the controller, then proceeded to sit down on top of Homura, who looked up at her dumbly. "Scootch," the pinkette demanded absently, and the black-haired girl pressed herself against the arm of the chair. Even though Madoka was small and Homura was thin, it was still a tight fit. Just like she'd imagined it. Looking around, Homura didn't see anything to eat, but the kitchen seemed impossibly far away. Settling in and stretching exaggeratedly, the black-haired girl let her arm drop behind the pinkette, resting it along her shoulders.

The exchange of the controller had not gone unnoticed. Ever the opportunist, Kyoko slowed down, hurling green shell after green shell at the unmoving mushroom driver. Cackling with glee, she watched Homura's guy get knocked around violently as King Koopa raced away making his own obnoxious laugh.

"Hey!" Madoka cried, shrugging off the annoying weight on her shoulders. "That wasn't nice."

"She wasn't ready, you ass," Sayaka stated, fuming at Kyoko's meanness. "Where's your sense of fair play?" A second later, her controller went flying out of her hands, and cursing loudly, she scrambled to pick it up. "You fucking jerk!" Kyoko laughed even harder.

"Sayaka-chan!" Madoka cried, scandalized.

Mami shrugged, ignoring the drama unfolding and concentrating on the game. "Play to win," she said, lapping what was now Madoka's struggling racer for the second and final time and pulling ahead of the now-unarmed Kyoko.

"You shouldn't have done that," Sayaka muttered vengefully, glad she'd held on to her triple set of heat-seeking turtle shells. As she passed one of the computer racers, finding herself in third, she looked up and saw Kyoko was currently in second place. "Suck on this!"

Mami grimaced as Bowser slammed into Peach, barely recovering before spinning out. You are not going to win this one, Kohai, she thought grimly at her old friend. Giving her head a shake to make her curls bounce, the blonde leaned forward, concentrating on catching up to the redhead.

Just then, one, two, then three different red shells slammed into her in quick succession, and she spun far off the track. "What the hell?" she blurted out, caught up in the intensity of the moment.

Oh no! Sayaka wanted to apologize, but also didn't want Mami to know she'd just shot her three times right up the tailpipe. She zoomed past the stricken princess, hoping for a good item and wincing as Kyoko praised her shot. "Smart, taking out Mami when she's helpless like that. That's what I like about you best, Sayaka. How cold-blooded you are. I get first, you get second; it's a win-win. Except, of course, I'm the only one that really wins-"

"Shut up already," Sayaka muttered through clenched teeth. Worthless bombs and banana peels.

"Madoka-chan," Homura whispered from maybe a centimeter away from the pinkette's ear. Madoka was startled, jerking away. "That cloud is telling you that you're going the wrong way." The girl didn't respond, concentrating entirely on the game.

Mami sighed, the thrill of victory once again snatched from her fingertips. Kyoko was approaching the finish line, Sayaka had gotten some lousy banana peels, and Madoka was going the wrong way, and only had a stupid mushroom. Mami liked Kyoko, liked her a lot, but sometimes the girl could be a little… much. One of those times was whenever she won at something.

As Kyoko took the final turn expertly, she grinned confidently. "Once again, defeating all of the other, more pathetic challengers, our hero Sakura Kyoko wins-"

The little mushroom man, traveling in the wrong direction and trailing lines of zooming speed, slammed into King Koopa head-on, knocking Kyoko into a spin. "Hey, what the hell?!" Madoka laughed in triumph as Sayaka zoomed by, cheering at her imminent victory and leaving a trail of banana peels for the redhead when she got back on the road. "That is so not fair!" Kyoko yelled at Madoka while keeping her eyes on the screen. "You can't… sabotage!"

Mami grinned, seeing Kyoko's car still in the process of turning around as her own Princess Peach took the final turn at nearly full speed, happy to have beaten the redhead more than anything. She didn't see the trail of yellow peels until it was too late, sliding into one, then another, a chain reaction of multiple spin outs that left her stranded on the side of the road as Kyoko raced in, managing a 3rd. Mami placed 6th.

Madoka continued to drive around for a little while until everyone else had finished and the race ended. Her rank was 8th, but hitting Kyoko like that made her feel like she'd won. Sayaka gave her a cheerful high-five, but the redhead was looking at her through heavy-lidded eyes.


Hope you at least chuckled once or twice. Let me know if you feel like it. If you have any ideas about things you'd like to see, and would like more, I'd be ever so grateful for ideas. I'm slightly tapped out at the moment.

Otherwise; they all go to sleep.