Thank you very much for all your nice reviews. Just a little note, this story is set in the earlier seasons when House still had his old team. The House writers may be able to handle a big cast, I can't! ;-)
Beep-beep-beep-beep….. This annoying noise was going on for half a minute before House reacted.
A hand came out from under the blanket and hit the button of his alarm clock. He turned around and looked at it. 6.47 am. God, this alone was reason enough to quit this job. But then he thought about Cuddy enjoying her success. That was motivation enough to get him out of bed. A cold shower helped him waking up.
He got dressed and left his apartment. But on the way to his motorcycle he remembered something he had forgotten.
House went back inside and opened his closet. "Where did I put it?", he wondered himself while going through his stuff.
"Do I even have one?", he asked himself while throwing the old golf clubs back into the closet.
"Damn it, I will take Wilson's.", he said and was on his way.
7.45 am he was sitting at his desk. Well, it was Cuddy's desk but for the next week he was in charge.
He removed the pocket protector from Wilson's lab coat and threw it in the trash can.
"Pathetic!", House thought and removed the name tag as well.
Suddenly the door opened and Cuddy came in.
"Wow, I'm impressed, House! Nice coat."
"What are you doing here at this time? My department doesn't open until 10 am."
"I'm just making sure you play by the rules. Have fun with those students. Don't forget, the more you teach them the better doctors they will be."
"Hey, where is the key for that drawer?", House asked her.
"In a really save place, House. Stay out of there! Oh and here! That goes with the lab coat."
She handed him a name tag.
"Who is that guy?", House asked after looking at the picture.
"That's you, 10 years ago when I hired you. You were still good looking and shaved."
"Hey, I AM good looking. Even better, chicks dig the stubble. Where did you get this?"
"In your desk under your special magazine collection."
"Stop going through my stuff, Cuddy!", he raised his finger like a teacher.
"Oh don't worry, I'm done. But I think I should check my doctors' desks more often. Very interesting but also very disgusting in some cases."
He raised his eye brow. "You wanna change house's as well? I got some very interesting stuff back in my place!"
"No, thank you. I don't need a pervert going through my underwear while lying in my bed. Good luck, House! I doubt it, that it will take long, before I get my office back!"
"Yeah, right after you lost the bed!", he shouted after her.
House picked up the phone and called Cameron. He had told her the day before, that he needed her to show up earlier to help him with a test and of course she had believed him.
"Get down to the clinic!", he told her.
Ten minutes later House showed up in front of a group of young people. All the clinic staff looked at him. Cuddy had distributed a memo, informing them about a current change in administration. She didn't mention the bet, but told them that she wanted to make sure that House started thinking about responsibility.
"Nice coat!", one of the nurses told him causing a giggle in the bunch of nurses.
"Get to work, people!", he shouted in their direction.
"All right students. I take it some of you want to become doctors, so let's show you how this works in a hospital. This nice lady over here"; he pointed at Cameron, " is Dr. Cameron. She will give you the tour. If you have any questions, don't be shy, ask anyone but me! Have a nice day."
He took his cane and walked towards his new office.
"Stop it or lose it, House!", he heard Cuddy's voice. She was standing on the gallery. He looked up at her.
"Cameron is in the diagnostic department which means, she is my employee this week. So she will get back upstairs and do her job and you will do yours, House! Don't think about getting her for your mail. Next time you lose!"
House looked pissed.
He returned to the group. The nurses were still giggling. And it had spread to the group of students.
"Shut up, everyone! I'm the dean here, so I'm in charge of firing. Don't forget this!"
They looked at the floor. They would rather have this tour with Dr. Cameron, but she had vanished in the elevator.
"Let's get this over with, people!", House said.
"This", he pointed around with his cane, "is the clinic. Doctors treat sniffels and STDs here every day. Make sure you have an exit strategy with you to avoid that stuff when you work in a place like this. I recommend a good magazine or this." He pulled out his little TV.
"This bunch of chickens over there", he pointed at the nurses, "is pretty handy for doing disgusting tests or cleaning up after you. So make sure can handle them."
He looked at them, they were still observing him.
"Don't you guys have anything to do? Vomit to clean up or something. Let's go!"
They mumbled their usual insults and went on with their work.
He continued.
"Ok, waiting room, gift shop end of the tour in this part. Follow me!"
He got on the elevator, telling them that he rode alone and that he expected them to show up on the 4th floor in 3 minutes.
Some of them were lucky and caught the next elevator. The rest of the group ran towards the stair case and made their way up to the 4th floor.
"All right!", House said after the 3 minutes when the poor students were standing before him catching for breath heavily. He leaned on the cane and looked at his watch. "Well done. So let's see if oncology has time for us."
He walked to Wilson's office and entered without knocking, again.
Wilson looked very surprised when 20 people squeezed into his office. House sat down on the leather couch.
"Good morning, Dr. Wilson. Be a nice doctor and tell our future colleagues about oncology."
Then he switched on his little TV.
"House, get out!"
"There are 22 people in here. It won't make a difference if I leave."
"Take them with you!", Wilson insisted.
"Well, I got news for you. I'm your boss right now. So teach them!"
Wilson looked confused now. When he heard about the bet from Cuddy he thought this might be interesting. He didn't think about this, actually. House was right. He was the dean right now with all duties and privileges. The oncologist sighed. Wilson couldn't believe he was doing it.
"All right, class. My name is Dr. Wilson and I'm head of oncology. I'll show you around."
He got up and reached for his lab coat but he couldn't find it. Wilson looked at House.
"House, where did you get that coat?"
House smiled at him with his innocent puppy look.
"My mum gave it to me when I got my MD."
Wilson sighed and stabbed him with his glare.
"It's not yours. Look, no pocket protector! Plus it says Gregory House here on the name tag.", House explained.
"That's my coat! Give it back."
"You are paranoid. I'm a doctor, in a hospital. Do you think I have to steal my best friend's coat to get one?"
"Ok. But where is mine? It's a little suspicious that my coat disappears the same day you show up in one for the first day in years."
House shrugged.
"It's a shame you don't show the same carenss for your stuff like for everyone else. But let's not fight in front of the kids, Wilson.", he got up and found a way through the crowd.
"I'll pick them up in half an hour!"
"No you don't. Either you are coming along, or I tell Cuddy about your first break of the rules. Congratulations, you were in it for 20 minutes."
House was starring at the door in front of him for a moment, thinking about his next move. Finally he opened the door.
"After you, Dr. Wilson! Enlighten us about the dark secrets of cancer."
And so they went into the oncology wing and Wilson gave the students a lecture about the way it works here and showed them around.
The two department heads were recognized by the staff here as well. It was a uncommen picture. House in a lab coat and Wilson without it.
House followed them but kept his mouth shut. He had figured that he got out of this faster, if he just let his buddy talk.
After oncology was done, his next destination was clear. Just around the corner was his former/future department. Cuddy and his/her team were sitting at the table. Obviously they didn't have a case. Yet.
He entered again with the entire group.
"Welcome in the world of diagnostic medicine. Actually one of my favorites. Meet Dr. Cuddy, who will tell you about it right now."
"House, what are you doing?", Cuddy asked.
"Well, I got a rumor that this department is never visited on these occasions, so I thought this would be the perfect day to start. Dr. Cuddy, please. How do you guys work in here?"
She threw him a "I-get-you-for-this!"-look before she smiled at the students.
"Welcome in our department. Dr. Foreman here has been in this department for years and I'm sure he can tell you from his experiences."
Foreman was not really happy about this, but since he knew that he would regret pissing off House or Cuddy he stood up and started speaking.
House sat down in his own office and played his PSP. Nobody in here would force him to put it down. Even Cuddy let him get away with it. Foreman explained the routine of this department based on the last case they had worked on.
"I have a question.", a young woman interrupted the neurologist.
"You said the patient's attending was Dr. House but you guys did all the tests and the treatment. What did Dr. House do in this case?"
"He saved the patient's life!", House yelled over from his office.
Foreman sighed but nodded. "He's right. It was Dr. House who finally got the answer."
"Without seeing the patient? How is this possible?"
House had quit the game and limped in the other office. Now he was leaning on the door frame.
"Seeing a patient isn't important. At least not for me. Someone should. That's why I hired those guys. Diseases are nothing but wrong chemical reactions in your body. Believe me they work the same way regardless of the patient's face. So, no need to see them."
"It's a strange way to practice medicine, isn't it?", another student said.
House shrugged. "Well it's my way. By contrast to all the normal practicing doctors I solve these cases, I save these lives. Don't worry. You will go the normal, the ordinary way. Practicing medicine like you are taught to do it. And that's good because it will never get you in the position to doubt those ways. Unfortunately it will never get you in a position where you can afford the extraordinary way."
He starred at the poor fellow.
"Well thank you Dr. House for your visit. I see, the time is up and those students have other lectures to attend.", Cuddy interrupted the silence.
House nodded. " Get back to your books. Class is finished."
The crowded office got empty and only the real doctors stayed.
"Nice teaching, House!", Cuddy told him.
"Like I said, I do it my way!", he smirked.
Cuddy wanted to yell at him for insulting the young student but suddenly four pagers started beeping. Chase, Foreman and Cameron looked at them.
"It's the ER.", Foreman explained. "We have a case."
House switched his Pager off. "Yeah, you better leave. I'll be in your office just in case you kill your patient, Cuddy!"
He walked back to the elevators and went downstairs to Cuddy's office. House was convinced that he had already won this bet. Cuddy would never risk a life just to teach him a lesson.
So it was time to relax and find a breakfast but his plans got interfered when Nurse Roberts showed up.
Reviews are still welcome! :-)
