A lonely dwarf was travelling in the lands of Shire. There were lights gleaming from the windows of small holes and Thorin could see many curious eyes following him. Weird creatures these hobbits, couldn't keep their nose out of other people's businesses, like they hadn't seen a dwarf before (which most of them actually hadn't, but Thorin couldn't have known that, for he had very little interest towards hobbits).
Thorin wasn't quite sure where he was supposed to be heading. He was tired of the day's travelling and he carried the burden of bad news (among everything else) on his shoulders. The meeting of Ered Luin hadn't gone the way he had hoped. At least the dwarves of the Iron Hill he had trusted to help them, but Dain didn't see it to be his or his kin's problem. What Dain seemed to forget was that they were the same kin; they were both from the line of Durin.
Walking in strange land Thorin felt himself very uncomfortable. For he was a dwarf and had grown up in the mountains, all this green and wide landscape was something he hadn't gotten used to. He was far from the place he had started to call home, though he had never completely thought the Blue Mountains as one, but that's what it was for most of his kin. Not that any of them had forgotten Erebor; it was always in their minds, most for Thorin.
Eventually Thorin decided he would need to ask someone how to find The Hill and Bag End, otherwise he would run around Shire, never finding his way to Mister Baggins. It seemed the luck was on his side, for there was a hobbit standing in the middle of his path (Thorin felt more than unpleasant to have to go and knock one of those round doors which concealed nosy little halflings – he might not have been in the best mood on that night).
Calmly the dwarf walked behind the hobbit. Weird fellow he seemed to be, eyes shut and humming something that sounded distantly like a nursery song mothers sang to their children. On his right hand he had a pipe and Thorin couldn't but wonder what the little one was smoking for it smelled rather rancid.
The dwarf king cleared his throat trying to get the hobbit's attention, but the halfling was apparently so deep in his thoughts that he couldn't hear a thing. So Thorin was left no other choice but to pat his shoulder and the hobbit jumped almost a feet high and gave a little cry as he did so. He stared Thorin with eyes as big as plates, hand on his chest. It took a few moments for him to calm down and regain his ability to talk.
"May I help you? I must say, I have been a lot of help today, mostly for… no wait. Yes there were a lot of dwarves, but I didn't exactly help them, did I?" Thorin raised his eyebrows; the hobbit seemed a bit queer. Maybe he should have knocked someone's door. Suddenly the hobbit jumped back a little and looked Thorin like he had appeared there out of the thin air. "Hello. And who might you be?"
"Thorin son of Thráin son of Thrór", the dwarf answered, but not quite in the rules of manners. He was not going to say anything about service, for the hobbit should have introduced himself first, not ask who Thorin was. "I am trying to find the way to Bag End. I was hoping you to help me with that." It was not a question since Thorin did not ask for favors; it was more of a compulsion for the hobbit to do what he said.
"Thorin son of…" The hobbit spelled slowly his face in thoughtful wrinkles. Then he suddenly brightened up and took a deep bow. "Gruffo Boffin, at your very service! I believe they went to Bag End too. Yes that's what he said. It's not hard to find there, it's remarkably easy actually. Hobbiton is clearly built place, but I dare you to go to Buckland and Bucklebury and try finding something there, not that easy task to do, I tell you."
Thorin interrupted the hobbit before he could go any further. "I would like to find Mister Baggins' house for now. I have no meaning to go to Buckland or any other parts of your Shire before I am done with my businesses in The Hill." He hoped that the stern look would help the halfling not to drivel anymore, it failed rarely but apparently this was one of those times.
"Yes, The Hill! Or over The Hill if you prefer that. Or of course across The Water. It's Bag End all the same. You know, Bilbo is actually my third cousin, yes, yes he is. From my father's side, and his of course. Bungo Baggins was my father's cousin, though now he is already gone. Married to a Took he was, Belladonna Took. Very rich woman and respectful. For a Took."
"Mister Boffin", Thorin growled, "I do not want to know in what all names you call Bag End, I just want to get there. And I definitely do not care about who is related to whom."
Finally the hobbit looked wary of angering the dwarf. He took couple nervous puffs from his pipe and relaxed evidently. The hobbit's eyelids were falling down and his head was swaying around. For a moment Thorin thought he was going to fall asleep right there on that road, but then he suddenly raised his head eyes wide open. He ogled Thorin for a long while making him feel most uneasy. Then out of nowhere he reached his hand towards Thorin but stopped the movement before actually touching him. After hesitating a second, the hobbit sank his fingers in Thorin's fur collar deserving the majestic glare from the dwarf. Not that he cared, just opposite, his face went into the brightest smile and he kept stroking the fur until Thorin snatched his hand away, causing a pout from the smaller one's part.
Thorin was just wondering if all the hobbits were like this, in which case he would go on his quest with the odd number of companions, no matter how ominous it was, when the smell of the hobbit's pipe-weed hit his memory. He knew this smell, it was henbane! He remembered the time when he and Frerin had once smoked it as very young dwarves. Their parents had not been pleased at them at all, and neither were they themselves on the next morning, nor the couple following days. They both had broken into a fever and Frerin's eyesight had gotten back to normal two days later than Thorin's did. It was particularly unpleasant plant and this hobbit should definitely not have smoked it.
Without a warning Thorin took the pipe away from the hobbit and knocked it empty not caring about the protesting from the pipe's owner. "My Old Toby", the hobbit whined and gave a cruel glare at the villain. Apparently the little one did have no idea what his pipe actually contained.
"Now, if you please, tell me the way to Bag End and I'll be off", Thorin said articulating clearly so the hobbit would finally understand him. He gave the pipe back to its owner and waited him to stop glaring so he could answer to him.
When the hobbit was finally finished with the leering he answered to Thorin, though still not telling the information Thorin wanted. "Why should I tell anything to your kind? Here I was minding my own businesses when suddenly there are dwarves everywhere! And then comes you and look what you did!" At that point the hobbit showed his empty pipe. "I am not telling you anything."
Thorin rubbed his temples and gave a heavy sigh. He needed some kind of plan how to reason with this halfling. "I am sorry, but believe me, you will thank me later", Thorin forced himself to apologize, though he didn't really mean it. He was about to continue his speech, but the hobbit interrupted him.
"Well I guess I deserved it. I am truly sorry. Bag End it was you wanted to find? It's easy, just follow this path, take turn to left from the bush of chrysanths, continue until you come to the bridge, don't go over it but turn to right. Then walk about 400 yards take the path to left and then you just climb the hill and you are there. It's the green door, just painted while ago, you can't miss it."
With that the hobbit fell on the ground unconscious. Thorin crouched next to him; the little one's face was all red. The fever was rising, but Thorin didn't think he had smoked that much of the henbane so little rest would probably do the trick. Thorin picked the hobbit up – he couldn't leave him lie on the road – and made his way inside the hobbit's hole. Luckily it wasn't a big one and Thorin could easily find the bedroom from the back of it, where he put the halfling down on the bed. Without really realizing it himself, Thorin tried to make the hobbit feel as comfortable as he could; he put an extra blanket on him and made sure there was a glass of water next to him. All those years with his nephews had made a soft spot on him.
Finally when he was sure the hobbit would be okay (he wouldn't want a dead hobbit on his conscience), Thorin headed out and towards Bag End. He remembered Gandalf saying it wouldn't be hard to find and from the halfling's instructions, it really didn't seem to be too difficult. Compared to way he had felt when he arrived the Shire he was now feeling surprisingly cheerful. He wondered if he had accidentally inhaled some of the henbane, which was completely possible, but it didn't worry him. Soon he would accompany his friends and they could start their journey to the Lonely Mountain.
What Thorin didn't know was that he wasn't going to find the green door that easily. Little Gruffo Boffin had been very mad at him for doing that to his 'Old Toby' and gave him false instructions. If the dwarf would follow them, he would find himself nowhere near Bag End.
Next afternoon – for the day had passed the mid-day long ago – when Gruffo woke up, he was convinced he had spent the last night in the Green Dragon Inn and drank something not suitable for him. He felt awful and he did not remember much from the last night. Restless dreams of dwarves had troubled his sleep. The glass of water next to his bed came handy indeed. It took four hours for him to get up after waking and he still couldn't walk very far without his legs failing him.
Poor Gruffo's fever lasted for three days and when he finally could step outside his door, he heard the news about Mister Baggins for the first time. Apparently he had left on an adventure with dwarves. And that's when Gruffo remembered every dwarf he had seen on that night, all thirteen of them. If the ones with who Bilbo had left were the same dwarves Gruffo had met (and it would be too big of a coincidence if they weren't), he wasn't surprised the respected Mister Baggins was gone now to who knows where. Especially those two brothers were lot to handle with their antics, for now Gruffo knew why the dark one – Kíli – had disappeared from his sight as his brother was making all the questions. He had changed the hobbit's pipe-weed to something completely else. Gruffo was pretty sure that was the reason he had acted so strange afterwards and why he had had this terrible fever.
Gruffo couldn't recall everything that had happened on that night, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forget about the last dwarf he had met, which who must had carried him to bed for he had no memories of going there by himself. He was thankful to this dwarf, but he couldn't shake off the embarrassment. The hobbit had been rude towards him and even lied to him. He surely hoped he would never see any of those dwarves ever again or any other dwarves at that.
A/N: For someone who had lost his way twice, Thorin seemed surprisingly cheerful when he arrived Bag End. Breathing henbane would explain that, right? Hopefully this wasn't too boring since it's mostly just a blabbering Gruffo.
