Disclaimer:I don't own NGE
Chapter 2
Hikari Horaki found a new hobby, a strange stalking kind of hobby, but even though she would say 'STOP THAT' to herself. In the end however she'd end up looking at him all through class it's not like she wanted to she couldn't help it. His hair a dark muddy brown, his skin truning paler each day, his once blue eyes seemed almost gray now. She thought of the talk they had, she tried to talk to him afterword but found that she couldn't speak. He slowly turned to face her, she blushed yet held his gaze she felt Asuka tap her but she felt lost in his eyes. Hikari quickly noticed that not only Shinji was looking at her but the whole class.
"Wha...what?" Hikari asked her brow wrinkled in confusion
"The bell" Asuka whispered behind her
"Wha-oh" Hiakri jumped to her feet "Rise,Bow,Dismissed!"
The students did as told and ran out the entrance she once more found herself star struck by Shinji. She noted the whit gause wrapped around his wrist, his wince as he used his hands to rise. She watched his form shuffle towards the door and retreat down the hall.
"Wha'd that idiot do to you?" Asuka pressed the word idot
"He's not a idiot" Hikari stated
"Sure, how you can see good in everyone i'll never know" Auska whined
"How was school?" Miasto asked
He stood rigid at the door to his room, he had hoped that she missed his entrance. Ever since Shinji came home from the hosptial he was put under sucide watch first it was section 2, then Miasto had taken off work for the duty. That meant that every time he'd come home Miasto would ask to many quisteions.
"Fine" He opened the door
"Ok...." came the reply through the door
He shut his eyes tight falling on the bed, He let the cool felling of his sheets stranlge him. 'Miasto,Asuka,Toji,Kensuke,Dr. Akagi,Hikari......Hikari' his sighing a cover his face in sheets only succeed in pissing him off more. Her words echoed countless through his fevered mind, her tears, her warm embrace. 'why should she care?' 'maybe she thinks it's job as class rep?' God he found himself again thinking about the pony tailed girl. Why? he never found the reason but weither good or bad he always semmed to have the young class rep on his mind. Thinking about her wasn't selfish, was it? It seemed like before his attempt at suicide he had thought about his relationship with others and quickly found that it wasn't for him they were nice to him because they wanted something, everyone aside from Toji but he failed him so ending his life wouldn't have changed much. But with Hikari even if she was only doing her 'job' he felt better, not that he wasn't gonna try to keep living.
'That wasn't a good idea' Her words ran through his mind as he looked at the black finish of the handgun. One good thing came Miasto always around she had her gun in her room when she wasn't at work coupled with the fact that she was a heavy sleeper equaled good things on this part. He pulled lightly on the hammer of the gun, finding quickly that you needed to apply some force cause that's what they do in the movies right? That and the safety is brain answered he was satisfied to find a red dot staring back at him. How should he do it? The head no pain, maybe the heart i'd hurt only for a bit right? Yeah he should suffer foe letting Toji down for forcing that nice girl Hikari to waste her time on him. The steel felt to the skin in his hand he pressed hard *Click* 'What the hell?' *Click* the ammo! his mind offered he looked for how and pressed the button he looked confused as he stared at the mag. He was lost in the thought as he tried sevral more times, so lost in fact he never heard her crying.
"Wha....What are you doing?"Hikari asked quietly
He almost fell out of the seat he looked around he was sure he locked the classroom door. In a vain attempt to hide the gun he hid it in his pants hoping she hadn't saw it.
'Just be the class rep, class rep no more no less' Hikari told herself trying, and failing, to stop shaking and crying "Scho...school policy you can not carry firearms with you" She did her best Rei impression
"Sorry can you, uh, not....not tell" Shinji asked hopefully
He never got her answer instead Asuka ran in saying he was trying to rape her or something he wasn't listening to her. He just watched her trun and run from the room he thought he should follow but she was gone he just really hoped she wouldn't.
'Why? Why? Why!' She thought he was better she even thought she'd seen him smile. Wrong all wrong maybe thats what she wanted to see, him just being habby contenet with HER. That wasn't selfish of her to want him better, happy that she knew but was it selfish that she him to be all those things with her?
'I should tell his guardian' Hikari sighed who was his guardian, oh right Miasto that women all the boys ogle what was her last name? She heard Asuka always call her Miasto and how she only seemed to care about her "baby Shinji" was she shinjis mom? She shifted over to one of the schools pay phones inserting her money she knew the name by heart now beacuse she calls Auska so often. The dial tone gave her a second to think 'should i call her Miasto? maybe what Kensuke calls her some rank, Major?'
"Hello?" The words sounded tired forced as the person was breathing hard into the phone
"Uh....Miss Miss Ikari?" Hikari tried
"What, no this is Mastio Katsuragi" Hikari blushed
"Im sorry Miss Katuragi, this Hikari" she felt stupid
"Oh Hikari! Yes?'
"I'd like to speak to you about Shinji"
Shinji was never the best at sneaking
"It wouldn't work?" Shinji fell
"Wha-"
"The gun"
His breath hitched how did she know, Hikari? The last word seemed like a bomb he hoped his skin tone matched the rug and she'd leave him alone. He looked up and saw the look of anger and sadness on her face, no the hiding wasn't working.
"I looked all day for it, give me it" She forced a hand into his facce
He dug around in his pack and gave her the service pistol. He took notice of the white letters on the bottom M. KATSURAGI and the NERV symbol on the grips, he knew that Miasto was livid she it looked like he had failed her agian. Why hadn't he just done it he failed in KILLING HIMSELF for the second time! No one is that big of a fuck up, other than him.
"Why at school?" Miasto stared at the gun
"You weren't there" Shinji said
"I don't know what to do, how do I stop you?" Miasto looked him in the eye
"I-" Shinji was cut off
"You'll be placed with Section 2, it's......it's for you" Miasto tried to sound stern
He'd been here for four days and they were all the same wake up, eat, get handcuffed to a chair to 'talk' though he never did, eat, sleep. However his thoughts found there way to the class rep, see they had said they to her to ask about the EVA pilots. The first day when they told him he tried fighting but after the fourth day he really started freaking out lack of sleep and paranoia has led him to think that maybe something had happened to Hikari? At this point Shinji thought the course of action was to overreact, he tugged on the handcuffs applying all his weight to the chair while pulling on the cuffs chain. Each time he thought it was breaking it slipped being wet from sweat and the now free flow of blood running from his wrists.
"Ikari!" Dammit
"Where is Hikari?" He stopped moving
"She's no longer at NERV" The medic moved to his wrists
"Is she......okay?" Fear
"No, you......might be able to call her?" Rare that Section 2 wasn't this kind
"I..........I wasn't trying to...to.." Would they think he wasn't killing himself
"It's not my problem, after we patch you up you could call her" Their trying to make me happy? This is NERV right?
"Okay!" He tried not to smile
The dial tone felt like it had been going off for hours, his hands clasped the plastic harder
"Hello?"
"I,um,Hikari there?"
"Hold....Hello?" he grinned
"Hi, it's um Ikari"
"Shinji!" The tone sounded excited
"Hi, are you okay?"
"Yeah, are you okay? I've been trying to....to talk to you, you haven't been around some people asked weird things about you I.....I thought you might have have hurt your self" Was she crying?
"Hikari I....." Maybe she cared, maybe he didn't fail her but could he trust her, he didn't even know her "I.......I did....I hurt myself"
