Chapter Two: The Mud Clot Monsters!
A/N: This is a complete first…me typing two chapters in one day. Just utterly amazing. xD Well, yet again I suggest that you read this chapter and the previous one even if you've already read it before, lol. It is different, especially this one and it's three times as longer. Awesome, no? Well okay…here it is?
And yeah, don't expect the third chapter until sometime next week. Or even longer. --
Remember…if you want a review response then review while you're signed on. :
Ten Pranks and a Dare
Draco peered over the corner of the passageway into the green and silver clad empty Slytherin common room. His previously tense face expression relaxed at the relief of the room being completely and totally empty.
Draco Malfoy apparently was under the attack of the Mud Clot monsters.
He suddenly dropped to the floor and wiggled around – WAS HE HAVING A SEIZURE? No, not at all… He was 'slithering' into the common room in what he believed to be true Slytherin stealth fashion. There was no way that the Mud Clot monsters would be able to get him now! Slowly but surely he wiggled his way into his self proclaimed armchair next to his self proclaimed book shelf against his self proclaimed wall, which was just coincidently a part of his self proclaimed Slytherin common room.
Draco Malfoy enjoyed self-proclaiming and owning things…even things that really didn't belong to him.
He randomly jolted his body as an awkward smile appeared on his face. "EVERYTHING IS MINE I SAY, MINE!" His mind always filled with ecstasy at the thought of the many things he could own. Maybe one day he could defeat the Mud Clot monsters and own the whole world.
Yep, that was Draco Malfoy's life ambition – To own every single thing on the living earth. Even all the hot chicks.
"Well, it seems as if the coast is clear!" Draco chirped, "Those bloody Mud Clot monsters better have learned to never mess with me ever again…now, time for some light reading!" He giggled as he cracked open a two paged book. A horrid image of a small terrier like dog being chased by an awkwardly unpropotional Billywig jumped out of the pages.
"See Spot run." A cool female voice read out loud. A childish giddy grin formed on Draco's mouth as he turned the page to be greeted by seeing the Billywig stinging the dog. "See Billywig sting spot," The lady stated. Draco's face twisted into a look of utter confusion and horror. " Watch spot float." The female voice finished off as Draco turned to the last page.
He paused for a moment. He didn't get it.
"OHMYGOOOOSSSH! What happened to spot?! WHY DON'T I COMPRENDE? Ah! Oh lord…no, IS THERE A MUD CLOT IN MY B-E-A-U-T-F-U-L, beautiful, brain? NO SPOT!" Malfoy screamed about, slithering, well more so wiggling all over the room. From a distance one would've though that he was faking a seizure.
"Mmm…Maybe Granger can get it out for me! And tell me what happened to Spot! Yeah…" Draco glanced down for a moment and when he looked up he found himself gracing his wonderful presence in the Granger-less head common room. "NO! Where the bloody hell is Granger? Man…now I'll never get the mud clot out of my brain and find out what happened to spot. I feel like dying."
Suddenly, Draco collapsed to the floor and felt something warm emerging out of his left ear.
"IT'S THE MUD, IT'S COMING OUT!" Smiling, he tilted his head to the side and watched the gunky substance drip out. He looked up again and this time found himself in his own room, surrounded by every current Slytherin attending Hogwarts, including Professor Snape. They were cleaning his room…but why? He thought for a while and then it came to his head. He was making them clean "invisible" mud clot dirt off his room MANUALLY until he commanded them to stop.
Honestly, it was for their own well being, just especially Draco's.
He grinned.
"Hey Blaise! Enjoy cleaning invisible mud clot dirt off my room until I command you to stop?" Draco giddily screamed into Blaise's pale meatless face.
"Oy…Draco! Your damn breath smells like a Mud Clot's arse!" Draco's eyes widened at the rude comment. "What have you been doing? Giving them favors?" Blaise said smirking.
Nu-uh. OH NO HE DIDN'T!
"Uh, did I tell you to stop working Blaise?" Draco sassed with one hand on his hip and the other in the air in a rather flimsy position. Blaise gave the clearly insance bleach blond a awkward look as he slowly shook his head. " UH, yeah, I thought so!" Draco said, swung his leg back and-
POW!
He knocked something over behind him and heard it thud onto the floor. But he didn't care. He swung his leg foreword and off Blaise went flying onto a horrified looking Professor Snape who was cowering in the dark corner of the room.
Satisfied, Draco turned around and saw his current girlfriend, Laurie Ann Filtz, sprawled out onto the floor. He had knocked her out.
Sweet.
He seriously couldn't give a thestral's crap about her, BUT he was nice enough to remove that disgusting rag off her face so she didn't suffocate. He bent over and tried to grab it.
"GODDAMN THIS IS HEAVY!" Draco yelped, and then paused for a moment. He couldn't believe that he didn't see it coming. His face screamed a shocked and stupid expression, "IT'S BLOODY INFECTED!" He dropped to the floor and began wiggling again. " The Mud Clots! NO!" He screeched and flung the evil rag into the air and watched it gracefully land on Crabbe's face with a nice solid thud.
Almost instantly, the miracle of raining food had become reality to Crabbe who was vigorously gnawing on the dirty rag. Goyle saw his so called friend snacking and his blood boiled with jealousy…in another instant Goyle was on top of Crabbe, putting his life on the line just for a delightful bite out of that rag.
Two words- Cat. Fight.
A bundle of growling, biting, pushing, grunting, and overall, of caveman like behavior circulated around the whole room along with the innocent rag awaiting it's doom in one of the cavemen's digestive systems. The fighting drew closer and closer towards Malfoy, as he became a deer in headlights. His heart began to pound. He wasn't going to live…there was no doubt that they were going to collide.
And then…it all went black for Draco.
"Levicorpus." Granger's voice said sternly as Draco felt the weight of two baby elephants lifted off his precious limp body.
Granger had saved the day!
Draco slowly opened his eyes to find himself on the floor of his now empty room with the exception of Hermione Granger, who seemed mildly pissed off. Why was she turning up in every single one of his dreams lately? Damn smart mudblood.
He wished that she would go away.
"Oh! Draco-Waco! Is my baby okay?" Cooed the concerned and annoyingly high-pitched voice of Laurie Ann.
'Wah…wasn't she knocked out?' Draco thought as he pinched himself.
"UGH!"
It was all a dream.
Draco opened his eyes for real this time only to have instant contact with Laurie Ann's perfume drenched boobs.
"Agggh! Get off me woman!" She quickly moved off him as Draco sat up. " What do you think you're doing in my room? How'd you get my password?" Malfoy angerly asked Laurie Ann. Honestly, if an idiot like her could get a hold of his password and such private info, there was no telling when a pack of crazy girl would turn up in his room and do...stuff to him. Evil stuff.
"I…I was just trying to wake you up!" Laurie Ann murmured as her eyes began to water and her face turned red.
It was time to break up with little miss cries a lot.
"Honestly, get lost Laurie…I don't want to go with you anymore." Draco said, sitting comfortably from his bed. Laurie Ann burst into tears and fell to the floor.
"I th-th-ought you really cared…"
Draco rolled his eyes and walked into the bathroom. Yeah right, never in a million years would he ever care for anyone.
Not even his dog, Gypsy.
A/N: yeah…please tell me? xD
