AN: Long Chapter this time hope you enjoy. please R&R! Thanks
*SKIP TIME A LITTLE WHILE*
Dear Diary,
It was late and everyone is bedding down for the night. We had all had a rough couple of weeks. Klaus is still chasing us…because someone had to go and steal his cemetery plots on wheels…I'm staring at Stefan even though he can't see me looking. I do agree that we had to do something to keep him from killing Damon, but taking his family might not have been the best idea. On the plus side, he is not under Klaus' compulsion anymore. I don't know what I would do without Damon…did I just say Damon?...wow…talk about Freudian slip. He's become more than a friend in this and I just don't love Stefan like I used to. As embarrassing as this is, Damon found me one night crying alone in my room. I thought I was being quite; I tried not to wake him. I had my back to the door and had been thinking…which is never good in my case. When I think, I remember all the things I can't have anymore. It always breaks my heart and I cry. Anyway, that is neither here nor there. We hid the coffins and are now running from place to place. We are somewhere in Georgia now. It's a nice little inn. But I suppose that this place does have a nice homey feel to it. Well, I'm tired good night diary…
I put away my diary in my bag and grabbed my arm-full of blankets from the closet next to the desk and was walking to the couch to make my bed when I feel someone watching me from the door way. Damon was leaning against the door frame. I turned back to make my bed when I feel his warm breath on my neck as he breezes past me snatching the blankets from me.
"Damon!" I called knowing what he was about to do.
"You're not sleeping out here" he said matter-of-factly in typical Damon fashion.
"That's what I thought" I muttered under my breath. Damon smiled sheepishly thinking I couldn't see him. I know he heard me with his awesome vamp hearing but still.
"I can sleep out here its no big deal I'll wear my vervain and keep a stake under my pillow, and—"
"No—", He cut her off, "I don't want you out here, when there is a perfectly good bed in there" he said pointing to the bedroom where Stefan was sleeping already. He looked angry when he slept…weird. Katherine had the other couch (a pull out bed) (how we ended up on the couches I will never know)
"well I am sleeping out here because you guys are supposed to be protecting me and I don't want grouchy vamps because you didn't sleep well…" just to make him get the point I added with his smirk, "you know you can be just like the princess and the pea when you can't sleep." He glared at me, then turned into the signature smirk I love so much.
"Fine…sleep on the couch" he said walking away. "Hope it doesn't have bed bugs…" he called to me from the bedroom as he shut the door. I glared at him. I know he did that on purpose. When I hear someone talking about bugs I get itchy and can't stand it. I continued making my bed on the couch, blocking what he said from my mind. He knew me too well, but in truth I knew him just as well…that's when I started to think. If I know him as well as he knows me, then he has probably figured out…no, he couldn't have figured out that I love him. I just barely figured that out the night he found me.
*FLASHBACK*
I was getting ready for bed in the room I had moved into in the boarding house. I had showered and washed my hair. It made me feel a little better but tonight was a night I really missed Stefan. He had called a week ago and not said anything, but I knew it was him. I told him I would wait and that I loved him and I heard soft cries and whimpers on the other end of the line. It broke my heart but I knew he couldn't get away. I shook off the memory and put my hair up. I caught a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror as I walked to the bathroom to clean my face. I had lost weight. I pushed the door open before I could dwell too much on it. I stood there staring into the mirror when I splashed the water onto my face. I watched as the water and tiny bubbles dripped down my face. Over the worry lines I had begun to develop on my forehead, over my sunken eyes, over the dark bags that I hide under make-up, over my cheeks looking like the tear drops I cry for all of this, and finally over my unkissed chapped lips cast in an unmoving frown of sadness and off my face. It seemed like such a long time to glide down my face to the sink basin below but then again it also seemed like so long ago that I had a normal life…back when I didn't know about any of this supernatural stuff when I was only the girl that just lost her parents…now I had lost friends more family and I may never see Stefan again, but at least I have Damon, Jeremy, and my best friends. Damon has really taken care of me. I thought back to the long mirror. Although, I was skinny, I was not too skinny. I had lost weight, yes, but when Damon noticed he was angry and refused to let me go without eating.
*FLASHBACK2 (earlier that day, just before she got ready for bed)*
"Elena!" I jumped; startled when I noticed how close he was standing. I hadn't known he was there until he yelled and scared me.
"What," I said standing at the bar in the kitchen, nursing a glass of juice.
"What's this?," he asked grabbing the bottom of my shirt and pointing.
I couldn't imagine what he was pointing at and took my shirt from his hands feeling a little exposed. I stared at him questioningly but stern.
He took a deep breath, relaxed his shoulders, and leaned towards me putting his hand on my shoulder and one on the bar. "Look, I know it's hard with all of this going on but you need to eat."
I laughed kind of shocked. The noise that came from my throat was not a jovial laugh but a bitter shock induced laugh. I surprised myself and Damon cocked his eyebrow and looked at me knowing I now understood what he was seeing. I looked back and got sucked into his bright blue eyes. I didn't notice I was leaning towards him until he abruptly looked down turning towards the refrigerator saying, "I know what's gonna happen. I'll cook and you will eat while I'm standing here. I know you will eat then…I am the best cook you know," he said wiggling his eyebrows at her smirking. Still shocked at my actions I just shyly smiled at him and sat down at the bar watching him work. I never realized he knew how to cook so well. Sure I knew he had cooked for me before quite a few times actually, but I had never watched him cook until now. Watching him was like watching Picasso paint. He knew his way around the kitchen so well he had a task for each hand. Once he finished cutting the tomatoes and putting them in the pot to cook down. He gathered his spices with one hand opening them and putting them in the pan and putting them back on the shelf, while the other stirred his concoction as it started to boil. Soon the whole kitchen smelled amazing and the spaghetti was almost done. He kept noodles he had made in advanced in the fridge and they were always fresh. He used the spinach rosemary ones he made special just for me, knowing they are my favorite. He really is an amazing cook. When everything was finally ready he set the plate down in front of me and it looked delicious. The colors made me think of Christmas when everything was normal and happy. I realized things weren't so bad now; I would always have those memories. I started eating and the flavors exploded in my mouth. I continued eating and completely spaced out thinking…He never spoke while cooking but would glance up at me every now and then to see if I was still there. I always was, just stretching up to look over his shoulder at what he was making. I had to admit when he wasn't looking I caught my eyes wandering over his muscular back in his black t-shirt to his tight perfect ass in his tight black jeans. It was weird; I had never seen him in anything but black (except that one time he stepped in for Stefan and we danced…he looked so sexy with that tux and blue tie that made his eyes shine) Stop it Elena! I shook it off and I realized I didn't want him in anything else…black was just him. I wasn't as afraid of the dark anymore because his darkness made me kinda like it…I always wondered if he was hiding somewhere in my room watching me. It made me feel safe. I looked up at him while I was pondering all of this and stuffing my face. He was leaning on the bar smiling down at me and I had never seen him smile like that. It was so peaceful like a lover watching you sleep. We were looking deep into each others eyes and I watched as his face started to relax into an innocent little boy's face as he looked into my eyes and I into his. Just as I was leaning in he snapped back to himself and replaced that impenetrable mask. I hate that look, I want the peaceful little boy Damon look.
"See, told you I could get you to eat," He said turning cocky, jerking away from the bar to cross his arms over his chest, smirking at my empty plate. I looked down to my hands in my lap feeling disappointed that he didn't allow me to see him like that unless he was caught off guard, but then changed the subject.
"Yeah, you really are a great cook," I said pushing away from the bar, hoping he didn't see right through me, "I'm kinda tired. I think I'm gonna go to bed now."
I felt his eyes on me as I walked up to my room without looking back.
*END FLASHBACK2*
He had cooked for me a lot over the last few weeks. I just never knew he was so at peace when he did it. I liked seeing him that way. I felt guilty over thinking of him that way while Stefan was trapped by Klaus but I couldn't help it. I always wondered what things would have been like if I met Damon first. When I kissed him when I thought he was dying, I couldn't imagine losing him. I guess it was a turning point for me. Tonight, I just felt like I was grieving everything. Since all this started I had not once sat down and thought everything through. I figured tonight was as good as any. I crawled over to my bed with the nice soft sheets he bought for me. He thought I should have something to show the room was mine now. He had been changing curtains adding pictures and it almost looked like my old room at my house. He knew me so well he did most of it without me ever telling him I wanted it. These sheets were the softest sheets I had ever felt and they were always cool and crisp. They were my favorite color too. The deep dark purple (almost black) that they were had become my new favorite color. It was weird after I met Damon a lot of things changed. I used to love the bright aqua color of my old room but after everything that has happened, it just didn't seem to fit me anymore and I found myself going more for the deep velvety colors of dark roses. When I slid into them, I always felt a little better. Tonight, it helped but in the mood I had been in it was so slight it might as well have been nonexistent. I sank into the bed feeling strange. This bed felt amazing and it didn't have a weird sag in the middle. I reached over the side of the bed and found a tag…the "DO NOT REMOVE" tag had something written on it. I turned on the lamp and read "hope this one is better than the horrid one that was in here –D" I smiled a little and started to think about all of the things he had done for me over the past few months since Stefan's been gone. I started to curl up into a ball under the covers thinking about how Stefan had left me…he did it for Damon but he still left me. I turned off the light and was left in the dark alone. Tonight, it didn't make me feel safer, it made me feel alone. I didn't realize I was crying until I reached to move my pillow and it was wet. I knew Damon was right next door so I tried to quiet my sobs. I buried my face in the pillow and after about 10 minutes, I thought Damon couldn't hear me. I felt better that I wouldn't be bothering him when I heard the door creak I looked up and saw a sliver of light on the floor. I tried to stay as still as I could not know what was at my door. I heard the floor boards creaking slowly as whomever it was walked across the room to the bed. I swallowed recognizing the way they moved. Damon came closer to the bed and slid in next to me and wrapped his arms around me. We pulled me against his naked chest and held me tight. I couldn't control my sobs any more and let loose the cries of anguish I was feeling and cried for everything I had lost and for everything I would never have as Damon whispered reassurances in my ear and ran his fingers through my hair. I loved that he knew me so well. He always knew just what I needed even if it was just to cry until I just couldn't any more. I cried for my parents never seeing me get married or have babies and my dad never walking me down the aisle, I cried for Jenna who would never live a full life as hers had ended so brutally, I cried for everyone I had lost and Jeremy had lost and everything that had been screwed up for everyone. I cried so hard my eyes felt like sandpaper and my puffy red face was throbbing. When I finally got a handle on my crying I turned over to face him. Damon was watching me with a heartbroken look on his face. He pulled me closer to him and intertwined our fingers together and leaned his forehead to mine and just whispered. I couldn't hear him but it almost looked like he was praying. He clutched me to his chest and tangled my bare legs with his black pajama clad ones and held me. I rested my head against his and curled into him resting my hands on his smooth chest. He was so warm and inviting. All I could do was get as close as I could and draw invisible pictures on his chest. It wasn't until I drew a heart over his when he reached down and held my hand to his chest. I looked up into his eyes and that's when it hit me what he was doing. I could feel my own heartbeat echoing in his chest. How could I have never seen the love in his eyes when he looked at me? How could I have not known his heart only beat for me? How could I have not known how much my world would fall apart without him? How could I have not known I had fallen completely in love with him...?
I broke our stares and curled completely into him until no one could tell where one ended and the other began. I laid my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. He kissed my forehead and placed his chin on the top of my head wrapping me completely in him. With my face against his chest breathing the most amazing smell I have ever smelled. He smelled of leather and something very warm, almost vanilla and cinnamon but with something else, kinda spicy, and a smell I can only assume is all his. A heady musky wood smell. All of those were just what made him, well Damon. Wrapped in his arms breathing in sync with him, feeling my heart beat as his I felt completely safe and loved for the first time since everything was normal. I had never felt anything like this with Stefan. I closed my eyes and listened to the subtle rhythm we created and everything faded to blackness. I was finally happy.
*END FLASHBACK*
AN: I know, finally!, right... more delena goodness to come...sorry to stefan fans i just dont like him much anymore...Damon is much hotter...well Ian Somerhalder is ... MMmmmM Yummy...
