Regina was laying in bed, just staring up at the ceiling. Her depression was kicking her ass at the moment so she didn't have any energy to even try to function.

Her husband Robin Mills was a famous record producer and was often away with his work. And he had always been understanding about her mood swings so he never pushed, never yelled at her to at least try.

It was something Regina was thankful for, but at the same time, she wished he would at least make some effort to get her out of bed. And not keep his distance when she needed him the most.

Henry, their ten year old son, was more understanding though. He at least got her to eat something and he always watched movies with her in bed when she was feeling down.

He was the only thing that made Regina actually push on, to take her medications and go to her therapist. Without Henry, Regina didn't know if she would even be alive. It was sad, but true. And it was also something Robin knew, but never something they talked about.

Regina Mills had always had a rough life. Her mother had gotten pregnant with her when she was only a teenager and her father had run off. Cora had tried her best to provide for Regina but in the end, she gave her up for adoption when Regina had been almost three years old.

After that day Regina had never thought about her mother again, and she only remembered how she looked because of a old and worn out picture she had left of the woman. It was the only memory Regina had.

That meant that throughout her life, Regina had bounced around in more foster homes than she thought was even possible, or at least should have been. She'd been treated like nothing but garbage since every single one of her foster parents had returned her, saying she was too difficult.

So Regina had never felt either wanted or safe, and had run away when she'd been a teenager and ended up homeless on the streets. To survive, Regina had turned to drugs.

And suddenly something had just…

Clicked.

Regina could finally breathe for the first time in her life, and it felt like she could bare to live, despite the demons in her head. The drugs became her life line and her self-medication.

Everything would have been so much better if someone, just anyone, had thought about finding out why Regina had such mood swings, instead of just seeing her as "difficult".

But nobody did. Regina simply had to live with her regular periods of depression, where she didn't want anything but to die, mixed with manic episodes where she was on top of the world, feeling almost invincible.

The first time Regina had tried to commit suicide, she'd been 18. She had almost succeeded, but had been found at the last minute and sent away to a psychiatric clinic. While Regina had been there she had been forced to undergo all kinds of tests and she had to go to numerous therapy sessions, and Regina had absolutely hated it.

But the doctor refused to give up on her, even if Regina had begged to be released, as she wasn't used to someone actually trying to help her.

After spending almost 6 months there, it finally turned out she suffered from a type of bipolarity, type 2. Suddenly Regina got a whole other understanding of who she was and how she functioned.

Unfortunately her life continued to spiral downwards when Regina was released because the drugs had been too tempting and it was hard to live on the streets, being sober.

As the years passed, Regina was committed three more times because of her numerous suicide attempts. Sadly every time she got released, Regina stopped caring and went back to her old habits. But why shouldn't she? Regina didn't have anybody, expect the drugs. She was all alone in the world.

And that was Regina's life, but when she'd met Robin that cold night at a bar, everything had changed.

Regina hardly remembered that night though, since she'd been both too high and too drunk to even so much as talk. She was almost unconscious as well, sitting in that booth, and the men around her were just taking advantage of her weakened state.

And it wasn't like the men were discrete, as they sexully assaulted Regina, so people saw them, but nobody stopped it. It hadn't been until Robin came there to just buy a beer, that someone actually reacted to the gruesomeness that was surrounding them.

He had dropped his beer glass to the floor, and he became absolutely furious over seeing what he saw and he had practically dragged her from the claws of those guys and brought her home with him. Regina had just gone with him, too tired to care who took her and where.

They had fallen in love immediately, or at least that was what Regina thought. But then again, what did she actually know about love? Nobody had ever loved her before.

People had only used her until Robin had showed up in her life. So she had probably fallen more in love with the thought of being… Wanted?

But Regina stayed with Robin and they got married a year later when Regina had become pregnant with Henry.

Their life together had been nothing but difficult, but Robin refused to give up, and it had amazed Regina. Nobody had ever fought for her before.

Together they were strong and pulled through, and Regina knew she owed her life to Robin. For the very first time in her life she had someone to rely on, that never gave up and even if it took time, Regina learned to trust Robin. He was her savior.

But now, 11 years later, Regina felt bored with her life, and the urge for drugs, just the kick, had started to haunt her again. And with that she had become paranoid, and the demons in her head told her Robin was having an affair with their nanny Zelena, and it didn't matter that some part of her told her it wasn't true.

Regina hated herself for thinking like that, even if she couldn't stop her brain from doing so. Robin had given Regina everything she had ever dreamt about. A home, a family and love.

And even if Regina probably loved Robin more as a best friend than a husband, the thought of him cheating with the nanny made her angry.

But she kept quiet about her paranoia, and Regina just let it be as it was, because without Robin, she didn't have anything. And deep down, Regina knew that without Robin, she would probably end up on the streets again.

Everything was just a mess, but Regina guessed she should be used to it by now since her life had always been a rollercoaster. And Regina only had her friend Kathryn to talk to, but she didn't see her as much because she lived an hour away. Despite having kathryn, Robin, and Henry, Regina didn't really want anyone to actually know what went on inside her brain.

When Regina had her manic periods she was the best mother in the world and she herself absolutely loved the feeling when she had that kind of energy in her body.

She always cleaned the house, at least twice a day, worked in their garden and went away with Henry on small trips and was, in the eyes of others, the best wife there was.

But when her down periods hit her, it was like someone pulled the ground from beneath Regina's feet and she fell down, without being able to get back up again. And when it came to Regina's energy level, it was non existent, which meant she just spent her days in bed. She almost didn't even eat and even though she loved the space Robin gave her, she hated it at the same time.

Regina was so happy she had Henry when she had those periods, her beautiful and caring son, because he always looked after her, despite his young age, and even made sure she ate. It was almost like he wanted to take the responsibility for his mother since Robin wasn't only distant, but also because he was away working for long periods at a time.

And while Henry took care of his mother in a way, the nanny Zelena took care of him and made sure Henry went to school and did his homework. Regina was thankful for that, but felt useless though, because that was something she was supposed take care of, not the nanny.

And her son shouldn't be forced to feel responsible to care for his mother either. He was only a kid, and he should just be busy with, well, being the teen year old boy he was…

"Hi mom," the little boy said with a small grin as he entered his parents bedroom with a plate of sandwiches and a big cup of coffee.

"Hi dear," Regina replied with a crooked smile as she forced herself to sit up in the bed, even if she was oh so tired.

"I thought you might be hungry so I made some lunch," Henry shrugged before he sat down on the bed and gave his mother a quick hug. As they pulled apart, Regina reached for the coffee but as she did so she realised she was showing her son her scarred wrists.

She hadn't put on her usual long sleeved shirt, and she absolutely hated to show her arms. They were covered in old needle marks and self harm scars and was a constant reminder of how sick she actually was.

It made her feel terrible, so she decided to put down the coffee cup and quickly cover herself with her blanket. Henry tugged on his lower lip, as he reached for his mother's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You don't have to hide from me mom, it's okay, I promise."

"Mom?" Henry asked when the movie ended.

"Yes dear?" Regina replied and met her son's beautiful eyes.

"Are you always gonna be like this? I mean, sick?" The question almost made Regina cry. She had talked about her illness with him so many times, and even if he was smarter than most kids his age, he was still only a kid.

"Yes dear. I'm sorry," Regina sighed and pulled away. She felt the anxiety rise and she reached for one of her pills and swallowed it down with some water.

"It's okay Mom. I just wish you weren't sick is all," Henry shrugged and Regina turned around and stroked his cheek.

"I know dear, as do I. But we'll get through it, yes? Like we always do?"

"Yeah," Henry grinned and pulled his mother into a tight hug, but his smile quickly faded even if Regina didn't see him. She just knew as he cuddled closer. "I don't want you and daddy to go away for the weekend," he added with a pout.

Regina met his eyes and ruffled his hair, making him let out a chuckle.

"I know dear but it's only a couple of days and then your father is off work for almost a month, and that's good, yes?"

"Yeah, he promised he would teach me to edit some songs on his computer while he's home. And that's gonna be awesome," Henry said with a proud smile and Regina nodded. He loved his father and would probably work for him when he grew older.

Regina blinked her eyes open and frowned. She didn't even remember falling asleep, but smiled as she noticed Henry had taken the tray with him and made the bed where'd he laid earlier.

"Hello darling, are you awake?" a voice asked carefully from the doorway and Regina turned around to meet the eyes of the man who had saved her.

"Hi Robin, yes I just woke up," she smiled and flicked on the lamp on her nightstand.

"Can I come in, dear? I've got your medicine for the evening here and oh yes, Kathryn called earlier but I told her you would call her back once you were awake," Robin said and Regina nodded at him, as he stepped inside the room. He sat down on the bed and placed a timid kiss on his wife's lips, before he offered her a glass of water and her medicine.

Regina swallowed the pills and put down the glass on her nightstand, before she felt Robin's arms pull her into a safe and comfortable hug. She laid her head against his shoulder and relaxed in his arms, like she'd always done.

"Are you sure you have the energy to go away with me this weekend?" he asked, then added, "You know I won't be sad if you aren't feeling up to accompanying me. I will never force you to do anything Regina."

The brunette tugged on her lower lip before she gave him an answer. To be honest, Regina would love to stay home, and just sleep through the weekend, but she didn't tell him that. She had not gone with him for a business trip for almost a year now, and even if he told her he wouldn't get upset if she stayed behind, Regina knew he actually did indeed get sad.

And she also knew it was good publicity to have her with him, since the paparazzi and news reporters had started to wonder how the marriage of the famous music producer Mills was going. And it didn't matter to those people if he told them the marriage was a happy one, because if they saw him without Regina all the time, they started to speculate.

"I promised you I would go with you on this trip, and I'm keen on keeping my promise," Regina finally managed to say, because this was actually one of the kinds of trips she loved to accompany her husband on,where they met undiscovered talents and not some obnoxious stars with a terrible attitude.

"Splendid dear," Robin said as he stood to his feet and their eyes met. He had the kindest eyes there were and Regina returned his smile with one of her own. "The limousine is going to be here in two hours so you have plenty of time to take a shower, pack and call Kathryn before we go."

After showering and packing, and of course calling Kathryn just to tell her friend she was alive at least, Regina climbed into the back seat of the small Bentley limousine. Robin climbed in after her and their eyes met before he closed the door.

"I'll ask you once more dear, are you sure you want to come with me?" he asked anxiously and Regina felt her heart break. She knew he only meant well, but sometimes she just wished Robin would push her to go out of her comfort zone, because she hadn't left the house for weeks now and the light almost hurt her eyes.

"I'm okay dear, so,...let's go, shall we?" Regina said with a crooked smile, as she tried to collect herself. Robin nodded, closed the door, and signaled to the driver they were ready to go.

As Robin went into work mode and started to go over something on his computer, Regina closed her eyes, and cursed how tired she'd been lately. She just wanted to at least be okay, but knew that soon enough her manic period would kick in and she would have more energy again.

When they finally arrived at their hotel, Regina was relieved. They always stayed at the same hotel and Robin always made sure they had the same suite.

"How about going out to that restaurant I've been talking about, dear?" Robin asked with a smile and Regina just wanted to sleep, but she decided to push herself. Not so much for own sake, but for Robin's for once. He had done so much for her, and still did, that she could at least accompany him out to a restaurant, so she nodded at him.

Regina picked out a golden dress that showed off her curves perfectly and Robin smiled at her as he took her hand. He pulled her into a kiss and the woman couldn't help but feel like a teenager when he did it.

"You look absolutely gorgeous, my dear Regina. But then again, you always do. Even when you are in your pyjamas," he said with a chuckle as they headed for the elevator.

You can do this, you can do this Regina told herself over and over again, as she felt the anxiety wash over her. She saw how happy and proud Robin was having her with him though, and she told herself to be strong.

For her savior's sake.