Summary: A collection of loosely interconnected stories/one-shots/drabbles centered around the adults and elderly characters of El Tigre.
Chapter summary: Granpapi tells Manny and Frida a heartwarming tale of friendship, adventure, zombies, scientists and disembodied heads.
Genre(s): Humor/Friendship
Warning(s): A little bit of dark humor I suppose, but it's not that much.
Disclaimer: El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera is copyrighted by Nick, Mexopolis and its creators Jorge R. Gutierrez and Sandra Equihua. Any referenced works are owned by their respective creators.
"So, Granpapi, me and Frida were wondering..."
The elderly Rivera looked up from his newspaper.
"How do you know all that stuff about zombies?"
"Why Manny," Jorge laughed, "we villains always keep tabs on each other's weaknesses. Plus, nobody gonna miss that giant fountain in middle of town."
"Not that," Manny said, "how did you know about the head stuff- you know, that thing you said about zombies taking the head with them and all that junk..."
"Yeah, did that happen to someone before," Frida asked, touching her neck.
"Er... it's long story, not something for you kids to know," Jorge looked to the sides, if Rodolfo found him telling that story to the kids, he wouldn't hear the end of it.
"Oh, please, Grandpapi?" Manny whined. "Please, please, please?" Frida joined in, both making puppy eyes at the old villain.
"Oh, alright, alright!" Jorge exclaimed. "Everything happened a long time ago..."
A young Puma Loco was playing a nice, friendly game of "Toss the Zombie Head" with his villainous colleagues, Mano Negra, Tenebrous Toreador and his on-and-off girlfriend, Lady Gobbler.
The zombie's body was walking back and forth, its arms uselessly grabbing at the air as it looked for its head. Puma didn't know his name, but this little jerk was one of the main players in Chapuza's Calavera Zombies.
That dirty little no-good undead bastard, if it weren't for him, he and his Matadores would've won!
But Puma wasn't the kind of man that held grudges.
So instead of humilliating this undead guy with the sweet irony of playing soccer with his head, he'd play volleyball with it.
Little did he and the other villains notice, entertained with their game as they were, but there was another zombie in the area. Seeing one of his kind being treated like that, the little guy snuck up behind one of the villains and latched onto the back of his head.
Satisfied with the game, Puma and the others sent the head flying along with its body with hearty laughs.
"Good game, everyone!" laughed Puma.
"Now, that's what I call good entertainment," Lady Gobbler giggled.
"Yeah, that'll show them not mess with the Matadores!" Mano Negra and Tenebrous Toreador high-fived Puma.
That was when they noticed. Hanging from Mano Negra's head... was a tiny zombie!
"Wait, wait, wait," interrupted Manny. "Was that the same zombie that bit Frida?"
"And who's Tenebrous Toreador?" asked Frida.
"I don't know and he's a retired villain, lives in Casa de Adiós. Can I continue the story, now?!"
"Please."
"Go on, dude."
That was when they noticed. Hanging from Mano Negra's head... was a tiny zombie!
Naturally, Mano Negra freaked out and asked, no, yelled at them to get it off of him.
Puma Loco, Lady Gobbler and Tenebrous Toreador reassured him that everything was going to be alright, they were going to be there for him.
Then all three villains started to run.
Mano Negra, however, was fast enough to grab Puma, who had the idea of bullying that zombie in the first place, and thus the one at fault here in Mano Negra's eyes.
Lady Gobbler and Tenebrous Toreador continued their escape without looking back. There was no way they'd risk getting bitten as well.
"Sorry, Puma dear, no hard feelings, you understand!" Lady Gobbler yelled in the distance.
"Hope you both stay alive, good luck!" Puma heard Toreador yell.
The villainous Rivera then turned to Mano Negra. "Hey, old pal. You don't need to hold me like that, I'm not abandoning you... I just gotta grab something real quick and-"
Mano Negra's glared like he wanted to burn holes into his head. "You had the idea, Puma. You are going to fix this," he said quite harshly. Though that tone was so typical of him that Puma wouldn't have known he was mad if not for the tight hold he had on him at the moment.
"No worries, I'll do it," Puma gave him his best innocent smile. "But first, eh, put me down, 'kay?"
And thus Puma Loco and Mano Negra began their arduous task.
They tried punching the head-zombie.
"Ouch, not me, Loco! The zombie, the zombie! You're hitting me!"
"Yeah, I know."
And then, luring it with a bait.
"No, Mano Negra, this is for the zombie, not you!"
"Braiiiins..."
They even tried tickling the little jerk.
"C'mon, c'mon- ow, it slapped me!"
"Braiiins..."
"Shut up, Mano Negra!"
Until, finally, Puma Loco had had enough. It was time for extreme measures.
Puma then tied Mano Negra, who was very much like a zombie already, up and tied a rope around the head-zombie. This would work. Just a tug, then he'd get that little bastard off of Mano's head.
"Ready, Mano? No need to answer, go!"
But to Puma's horror, the little zombie hadn't been the only one to go...
There, at there end of the rope, was the little zombie, still attached to Mano's head...only the head wasn't attached to its body anymore.
"Oops."
"Oops? Oops?! Grandpapi what the heck?!" Manny looked nauseated.
"This is too horrible!" screamed Frida. "The horror, the poor- wait a minute, Mano Negra lives in Casa de Adiós, how's he fine?"
"If you two let me tell my story, I'll get there! Now quiet!"
"Yes, Granpapi..."
Puma was about to panick, thinking he had just killed his friend. But then...
"Brains..."
"Oh thank goodness, he's still alive!...Sorta."
The Rivera poked and looked at the disembodied head, and oddly enough, Mano Negra was still alive and responding. He wondered, had his friend been completely zombified already? There was only one way to know. One that Puma had wanted to avoid at all costs, but there was no other way now.
Puma had to go to Zombie Town in Calavera and ask Chapuza himself how to fix this.
The walk, or rather, flight to Calavera wasn't long thanks to his Golden Sombrero of Chaos.
Puma walked through the main path. The town looked deserted, but he could feel the whole town's eyes on him, staring at him from the alleys and from their homes.
"Greetings, Rivera. So unsual to see you in this part of Calavera. To what do I own the honor?" a gravely, deep voice asked. Puma didn't need to look to know it was his long-time rival, General Chapuza.
The Rivera turned around to stare down at his arch-nemesis. "Chapuza. You know why I'm here. I know you sent the little jerk to do your dirty work."
Chapuza merely raised an eyebrow, arms folded neatly behind his back. "I beg your pardon?"
Puma narrowed his eyes. He lifted Mano's head with his suit's arm. "I'm talking about this!"
Chapuza blinked at the sight of his rival holding a disembodied head. He recognized it as one of his fellow villains, Mano Negra... and attached to the head was one of his own, Little Toes.
After a few moments of staring at the morbid sight, he turned to Rivera. "And what does this have to do with me?"
Puma fumed. "Everything! You sent him, I know it!"
"And what would I gain from turning Mano Negra into a zombie?"
"Uhm..." Puma himself wasn't sure. "Nevermind that, tell me how to fix this!"
"Again, what do I have to gain from that?"
Puma growled. Chapuza was making this difficult on purpose! "...What do you want?"
Chapuza smirked, "Well, I will gladly aid you in helping our colleague there... if you admit that the Calavera Zombies are better than the Matadores. A small price for your friend's life, no?"
Puma glared at the zombie. He was beyond enraged. That was his pride, his honor at stake! No way he'd ever do it! Getting stuck with a zombified Mano Negra was a million times better than this!
"Braiiins..."
Actually, saying it might not be so bad. He'd only need soap afterwards.
A painful set of words and a bar of soap later, Chapuza told Puma that after the sunset, Mano would remain a zombie forever if they didn't get Little Toes off of him. Chapuza knew a way to do this without reaping the head open, but doing so would also turn him back to normal again, which, in the current state he was in, would kill Mano for sure.
"Well, so what do we do now?!" asked Puma.
"Well, there is one man who could build a machine capable of keeping Mano Negra alive, even in this disembodied state... And he owns me a favor too."
"...Who?"
"Dr. Psyclopsis," answered Chapuza.
"That freak? Really? Ugh, this is getting too troublesome..."
"Quit your complaining when I'm going out of my way to assist you. Now, go to his lab, tell him General Chapuza requires his services- or else- and explain to him the situation at hand- he should either have something useful already or he'll build something in few minutes. When he's done, bring him and his invention to the middle of town- and don't forget Mano's head, of course."
"And this is going to work?"
"Yes, now quit wasting time and go." Chapuza paused and turned to Puma one more time, "Oh, and Puma... don't forget that you and your friend own me a big one now as well. I will call for a favor in return. And I fully expect you to come through with it. Or else."
Puma Loco rolled his eyes, despite being a little uneasy about the threat. He then took of flight and went towards Psyclopsis' secret lab.
"... Doctor who?"
"Dr. Psyclopsis, mad scientist, villain, had only one good eye."
"...so, like Dr. Jalapeño?"
"Huh? Yeah, yeah, sure," answered Jorge. "There's a photo of him in Casa de Adiós." Jorge paused, in thought, "He... just disappeared one day. No one knows what happened, where he is or if he's even alive."
"...that's kinda dark."
"Yeah..."
There was moment of silence between the three.
"Anyway, where was I?"
"Going to Dr. Whatever's lab?"
"Going to Dr. Whatever's lab!"
Puma Loco arrived at Dr. Psyclopsis' hideout. He knocked on the door.
"Who's there?"
Puma rolled his eyes. "It's Puma Loco. I know you can see me, let me in!"
"Why have you come?"
Puma felt his left eye twitch. Did he really have to speak in such an overly dramatic voice, all the time? He sighed. "Look, Chapuza told me you owned him one, so you better open this stupid door, or else."
There was no response, but after a moment of silence, Puma heard him unlock the door- why did the man feel the need to have so many locks, he'd never know.
A tall, gangly man in a lab coat greeted him. "My apologies. Please, do enter Mr. Loco."
Puma Loco had never seen a place quite like Dr. Psyclopsis' hideout. There was stuff he'd only seen in sci-fi movies before.
Ignoring his bewildered face, Dr. Psyclopsis asked his guest. "And what does Chapuza require me to for him this time? A laser? A mind-controlling machine, perhaps? A monster?"
Puma looked at him, "What? No! I need help with this!" He showed the mad scientist Mano's head and told him what happened.
Dr. Psyclopsis hummed in thought. "I think I might have just the thing you need." He led Puma towards what he supposed was a huge machine and pressed a button on one of the panels. A thick layer of smoke came out of the machine's door, causing the Rivera to cough and close his eyes. When he opened them, the weird mist had dissipated to reveal a huge...
What was that supposed to be? A robot body?
It consisted of a huge, metallic cylindrical machine, which ,he supposed, was the torso, which had two big timers and three smaller ones in it, two metal... things sustaining it- the legs? And another one sticking out of a socket- so the arm, probably. It only had one arm, and no head. Almost as if it was incomplete.
The whole thing didn't really impress Puma Loco much- heck, his Golden Sombrero of Chaos battle suit was a million times better than this piece of garbage! Brilliant mad scientist his butt! How could that thing keep his friend alive?!
His face must've matched his disblief, because Dr. Psyclopsis turned to him and said, "Do not be fooled by its simple design, Mr. Loco. This robotic suit is very much intended to serve as a body for a living being, much like your friend here, yes," he nodded at Mano's head. "It is a rather fortunate turn of events, I've been waiting to test this."
Puma Loco had no time to waste, he had to get back soon or else Mano would be a zombie forever and this whole ordeal would've been for nothing!
"Yeah, yeah, enough of your creepy rambling, let's go! Chapuza told me to take you and this thing and meet him in middle of town or something!"
"Ah, yes. Must be the Fountain Of Agua Negra. It's in the middle of town, the zombies' one true weakness- quite convenient."
"Wait, really? Gotta remember that one," Puma muttered to himself. "Let's go, then!" Puma attached a cable to Psyclopsis invention, connecting it to his battle suit, grabbed the villainous scientist with his free robotic claw and took flight.
The rest was simple.
Puma Loco arrived in time to dump his friend in the fountain and turn him back to normal. Dr. Psyclopsis then quickly put the disembodied head within a small recipient full of liquid chemicals- the scientist briefly explained that those would allow him to live and function like a normal human being, or a disembodied head of one, would- and attached him to the robot body. Fortunately, the procedure was a success and Mano Negra would live, for a very, very long time.
Mano Negra wasn't thrilled with his new body at first, but quickly saw the advantages when he pummeled his friend Puma into the ground with only a few punches. He thanked the doctor and walked home to retrieve his Mystical Object of Power and attach it to his new robotic body.
General Chapuza was not happy that Dr. Psyclopsis had babbled about his weakness to his rival, and decided that for that mistake, the mad scientist owned him another favor. After the leader of the zombies had punched him in his one good eye, that is.
And Puma... Puma Loco had saved his friend, learned a whole lot about the reclusive mad scientist of Miracle City and learned his rival's biggest weakness.
All in all, a happy ending for everybody.
The end.
Manny and Frida sat speechless, gawking at Granpapi Rivera.
"What?" asked Jorge.
"Dude!"
"Granpapi!"
"What, you kids are making no sense!"
"You just...ugh, nevermind Granpapi," Manny sighed.
"What happened with Mano Negra's old body, though?" asked Frida.
"You know... I forgot. Eh, he probably just threw it away."
"Thanks for the new body, doctor. So you take my old one, and I don't have to pay for my new one. Right?"
"That is correct my friend, that is correct. Dr. Psyclopsis thanks you for your cooperation," said the mad scientist. "Hahaha...Ahahaha! AHAHAHAHA!"
"Uhm... I'm still here. Doctor."
"Oh... this is awkward... Excuse me while I go laugh maniacally in another room. The exit's that way."
Silence.
"Thank you."
Author's note: Sometimes I re-watch some El Tigre episodes to help me write. So when I was re-watching that episode where Frida turns into a zombie, it got me wondering, how did Granpapi know so much about zombification? And then, with the "zombie's gonna take your head with him" I immediatly thought of Mano Negra for some reason. 'What if that had happened before with him and Grandpapi?'
And so this story was born.
By the way, like Tenebrous Toreador, which I explained in the last chapter, Dr. Psyclopsis did appear in the show and that's actually his name. His photo appears in the episode where Manny plays darts against Lady Gobbler.
Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed this story. Tell me what you think of this silly, crackish theory, haha!
