I do NOT own Bonanza or any of the original Cartwright characters.

I do not know how soon this story will get completed as I have homework, a Big Valley fan fiction going and this one. I will do my best to post on somewhat of a regular basis.

Affairs of the Heart

Chapter Two

Scene Two

Heidi heard the wagon pull away. Ben and Mariah were going over to Hoss' with Little Jacob and Adam. Little Joe, Rosa and their son, Joseph Jr., were also going to be meeting there. She had been invited but declined. When she started down the stairs she was surprised to see Adam behind the oak desk working on some papers.

"I thought you were goin' with your father and Little Jacob?" she said as she sat down in the chair nearest the fireplace and began working on some mending she had to do.

Adam looked up and watched Heidi working. His mind was still on her reaction to Little Jacob's question the day before. True it had taken him four years to really let go and move on, but she'd told his father she'd been married at fifteen and widowed at twenty. She'd been awfully quiet since.

He put his pencil down and leaned back, "I want to apologize for the other day. Little Jacob didn't mean to upset you."

She simply shrugged her shoulders, "I know that. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did." she jerked her hand back as she accidentally poked her finger.

Adam stood up, walked over to the couch and sat down. He had the funniest feeling she'd never talked much about her marriage to anyone, and he knew what that could do to a person. "Want to talk about it?"

Heidi was shocked to hear genuine concern in his voice and to see a gentle look in his eyes; it scared her. Men weren't supposed to care, at least, not the ones in her life. "Don't know that you really want to hear it," she went back to her work.

Adam reached out and took a hold of her wrist, "Running from the subject never helped anyone heal. I should know."

Heidi looked at his hand on her wrist. There was no tightness or cruelness in it; she found herself shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. Adam simply kept a hold of her wrist and let her get it all out. He wasn't surprised when a good twenty minutes went by before she stopped. Again he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Why do you care?" she looked at him with puzzlement in her eyes. She couldn't understand caring about someone you'd only know a short two days.

He let go of her wrist and smiled, "I know how it is to lose someone you love dearly. Remember, my wife has been dead for six years."

She started shaking her head as more tears fell, "You have lost someone you loved! Have you ever," she looked at him, "had someone die and be glad of it? Have you ever tried over and over to get rid of the guilty feelings you find yourself with because you're elated they're gone? Have you?" she didn't mean to yell only she did. Years of anger, hate and guilt spilled out.

Adam was shocked. What kind of marriage has she endured? After a few moments of deafening silence he asked for the third time, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Scene Three

Little Jacob slid down the banister only to find himself in Miss Heidi's firm grasp; mind you it wasn't a grasp with any sort of 'bite' in it, just one very firm grasp. "Young man, your father told you not to do that! Now get yourself back up those stairs and come down the right way!" she let go of him.

"I don't have to! You're not my mother!" Little Jacob turned around only to be met by one of his father's glares. HOW had she got a hold of it, she was even standing with her hands on her hips. He didn't know what to think.

"Yes, ma'am," he grumbled as he marched up the stairs only to hear Miss Heidi bark in a voice that held authority in it, "GENTLY!"

Adam, who had opened the front door, only grinned as he watched his son descend the stairs very carefully. "What did you do to her?" Little Jacob asked as he headed for the door, "I can't get away with things I did before!" His father only laughed as his son went and hopped up on the wagon where his grandfather was waiting for him. It had been two weeks since Heidi had confided in him all the abuse her former husband had put her through; even admitted he had refused to get their children medical attention when they so badly needed it. How could a man live with himself when he was like that was beyond him.

"I think I'll get my exercise just keeping up with him," Heidi laughed as she headed for the kitchen. Hop Sing was away visiting relatives so she'd gladly stepped in and took over the cooking. Adam followed her into the kitchen.

After everything she'd told him he wanted her to be able to loosen up and live. "There's a dance in town tonight. I thought maybe you could come with me."

Heidi looked up from where she'd started laying out everything she would need, "How would that look? Your son's teacher goin' out with his father?" She could imagine everything wagging tongues would be saying.

Adam only laughed. Since when had he cared what the town gossips said or did? "You can't go around bein' afraid of what others might say. You have the right to live and be as happy as anyone else."

Heidi didn't know what to do. She liked the idea of going to a dance but with Adam Cartwright? He was seventeen years older than she was! Then again, guess that shouldn't matter. "I haven't danced in years." Heidi shook her head.

Before she knew it Adam had taken the knife out of her hand, laid it down and started dancing with her. Again, she was taken aback by the way there was no tightness or cruelness in his hands. Her head said she needed to get back to work; her feet kept dancing.