AN:

Title: Visions Of A Former Self

Words: 871

Romantic Pairings: Gene&Alex.

About: Ashes To Ashes

He had stayed on the sofa, again, that night, although he hadn't slept. It was bad enough picturing her when he was awake, let alone dreaming about her. He stood at the kitchen counter making himself a cup of tea, turning around to see Alex sat on the kitchen table, swinging her legs seductively.

"I know you're not really there Alex" Gene spoke and went to sit on the sofa "Your just my imagination giving me a kick in the bollocks"

"I'm not imaginary Gene" she smiled sweetly, walking into the living room and standing in front of him "I'm real Gene"

"Then tell me something about you that I wouldn't know"

The smile on her face faded to a pout "How about I show you instead?"

He watched her reach around to her back and unclipped her bra, pulling the straps down her shoulders and letting the blue silk bra fall to the floor.

"I always wanted you Gene, I wanted you in the office, in the Quattro, on this sofa" she moved closer so that she was stood directly in front of him "You do know that you can have me, don't you Gene? All you have to do is reach out and touch me"

"Alex I'm not allowed to touch you" he sighed, getting up off the sofa and grabbing his jacket, leaving the flat.

He began walking down the stairs, spotting her further down leaning against the banister.

"One touch Gene, that's all I want" she smiled "Remember what it felt like, touching me? What did I taste like? How soft were my lips? Like cotton wool or velvet?"

"Stop it Alex, please?" he begged.

"What did my hand feel like on your cheek? My nose nudging yours, our face so close afterwards"

"Fuck off! You're not real! You are not fucking real!" he yelled, covering his face with his hands.

He heard her giggle and when he uncovered his face she was gone. He gritted his teeth and cleared his throat, going to work.

That day had been hard, as usual. He had to try and work every single day with Alex appearing here and there, asking for the same thing and wearing that same enticing blue underwear. Sometimes she sat on the edge of his desk, other times she followed him down corridors or down streets, one time he had walked into CID and she'd been dancing on the top of her old desk, smiling and laughing. He'd wished it was real.

"It's well past home time Gene" she smiled from the doorway, biting her lip playfully "Let's go home, yeah?"

He looked up at her from his paperwork "I should call bloody ghost busters on you, I wonder if you can get injunctions out against ghosts"

"I'm not a ghost silly, I'm Alex, your Alex, I'm your Bolly"

He stood up and pulled his coat on, leaving the office and heading back to the flat, ignoring the images of Alex that followed him back to the flat. Once inside he closed his eyes, undressing on his way to the bedroom, if he kept his eyes closed then he wouldn't have to see her. He climbed into the bed, wrapping himself in the duvet, enveloping himself in her smell. Letting himself fall asleep.

The next morning Gene awoke feeling an odd sense of relief, he rubbed his eyes and sat up, sighing deeply when he saw Alex sat at the dressing table brushing her hair.

She smiled, looking at him in the mirror.

"Hello Bolls" he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

She turned and stood up. That was when he noticed it. Her blue underwear wasn't blue, it was a rosy pink.

"Alex?"

She waved at him, then tucked her hair behind her ears and got up, walking over to him.

"Bolls I...are you really there or...?"

She shrugged "That's for you to decide"

He let out a heart wrenching sob, covering his mouth as the tears rolled down his cheeks "Why are you doing this Alex? This is killing me, what the fuck do I have to do to stop this?"

"Come to me Gene! I need you! I can't live without you! I need my Manc Lion!" she wept "I want to dance to Spandeau Ballet again with you again, only this time we won't be interrupted, you can have me...all of me"

"Alex I can't come yet, my work here isn't done" he sighed "I have to help people move on, like I helped you"

"I wasn't ready Gene and you know it, but you made me go, why did you do that?"

"Bolls, you're the most beautiful woman I have ever met and I didn't want you to go, but I knew that it was for the best, surely you're happy in heaven?"

"I've never felt more alone Gene, I thought that you'd have figured that out by now"

He couldn't take it anymore; he couldn't endure her haunting a second longer. Climbing off the bed he reached to touch her, as he expected she disappeared. If this was the only way that she'd leave him alone then he would do it, he'd reach out and make her disappear.

Is this fic interesting or just weird and confusing? I don't know what to think of it at the moment, what's people's opinions?

S x