A/N: Thanks to everyone who followed the first chapter, and a huge thank you to Ahiku for the nice review :D
So here's the second part – Anger – and this time it will be about Shion. Because as much as Shion loves Nezumi and believes in him, I can't see anyone just waiting patiently for years… there must be times when it has to be too hard to deal with. Anyway, that's my take on it; I hope you will like it!

Again, please forgive me if my grammar/spelling is not perfect, I'm not a native English speaker.


Chapter 2 - Anger

Sometimes, Shion was just angry. He was angry at himself for working too late and making his mother worry. He was angry at himself for being too nice and not always being able to correctly handle the people who tried to defy him. Then he would be angry at those people for trying to pull the same crap as the former higher-ups did. He was angry at them for not being able to draw lessons from the past, and just wanting the power to themselves.

Of course, there were still people who were honestly willing to help him, and his mother kept telling him he was doing a good job… But there were days when he just had enough of everything. The citizens of No.6 had been used to being separated into different social classes for so many years – sometimes their whole lives – and changing that had not been an easy task. The former upper class of course didn't want to let go of their privileges, whereas the lower classes were pushing for equality.

All of this was without counting the people from the West Block. It had been hard for the citizens of the former city of No.6 to accept them, given all the crazy rumors that used to circulate about this area. The fact that their habits of stealing and fighting for food didn't disappear right away didn't help much as well. Shion had pushed for several projects aiming to help people from the West Block find jobs; as well as an urbanization plan to build new apartment complexes in different areas of the city in order to provide everyone with a decent accommodation.

It had taken time, but now, more than three years after the walls fell, you could walk around without being able to tell if someone came from Chronos, the West Block, or any other former area of No.6. Still, there were unresolved tensions among the citizens and it reflected during his work meetings.

Sitting at his desk, he sighed deeply and took his head in his hands. He was exhausted. He had been stuck in pointless meetings all morning and spent the rest of the day returning calls and messages as well as drafting a preliminary report for a new university project. He lay back in his chair and looked outside. The sun was already almost down and his mother had left him a message saying she had invited Inukashi and Rikiga for dinner, so he couldn't afford to be too late.

Almost as if to confirm this last thought, a loud chirping came from the shelf behind him. A small black mouse was settled on the books and staring at Shion intently. It was Tsukiyo, the only one of Nezumi's mice that had decided to stay with him. The shelf was not that big, but Shion had filled it with some of the books that used to be in their underground room in the West Block. Whenever he felt particularly low during a work day, reading a few pages would usually calm him down.

"I know, I know, you're hungry and I should be there already. Let me just get my things."

Shion picked up his bag and put it on his shoulder. He held his hand towards Tsukiyo so that the mouse would climb easily onto his arm. The small animal was old and not as lively as it used to be… But Shion could only be happy that it was still here, since Nezumi still hadn't returned…

Assuming you will actually return…

Shion trusted Nezumi to fulfill his promise. He really wanted to believe in him, to believe that he hadn't been waiting in vain for the last three years. But some days… it was just harder than usual to stay positive.

Anyway, let's not go there now.

He turned off his office's light and walked past the other empty offices. Everyone else had left already; he was usually the last one out. Sometimes he really had too much work, and sometimes he just didn't want to face his mother or his friends… much less his empty apartment. The people close to him were always asking him how he was doing with too much concern in their voices. He knew they meant well, but he really didn't want to talk about it, and he hated to make people worry like that. Truth is, he also hated that they could so easily see through him.

Karan was still living at the bakery, which was about twenty minutes away from Shion's office if he walked. He really didn't mind the walk; he found it rather relaxing actually as it made him go through a quiet area of the city. His own apartment was also not very far away. He only got it a few months ago, as he was getting almost 20 years old he thought it was time to live by himself. Shion would still visit his mother often, but he liked the privacy. On a bad day, it was easier to deal with his issues alone than having to add her worried face to the list. It had also allowed him to recover all of Nezumi's books, which were now perfectly organized inside the bookshelves covering the walls of his room. There would never have been enough space at his mother's place for that.

As he arrived in front of the bakery's door, Shion could already smell his mother's cooking and overhear the familiar voices of his friends. He opened the door and was almost immediately greeted by a brown dog running towards him, yapping happily. Shion smiled and knelt down to stroke the dog's head. He felt his leg being pulled and saw that little Shionn was holding on to it. He had grown really cute, yet was still a little shy. His big brown eyes were staring at Shion, who in return gave him a big smile.

"Hello Shionn, thank you for coming to greet me at the door."

Little Shionn said nothing and hid his face behind the leg he was holding. Shion chuckled lightly at this sight. A voice came out of the hallway, it was Inukashi's.

"So, are you going to join us or will you be eating your dinner in front of the door?"
"Ha, sorry, I'll be right there!"

Shion stood up and the brown-haired child looked at him again. He took one small hand in his own and spoke gently.

"So, shall we join your mama and have dinner?"

Shionn did not answer but clutched his hand tighter and started walking clumsily towards the dining room. When they arrived there, he let go of Shion's hand and ran to Inukashi's side. She took the small boy in her arms and sat him on her lap. Inukashi did not try so hard at hiding her gender as she used to, even though she was still dressing a bit as a tomboy. Rikiga was already there too, sitting across the table from Inukashi; and Shion could see his mother putting the final touches to her dinner from the kitchen's door.

"Good evening everyone, sorry I'm late. Mom, do you need help?"
"Oh I'm fine, don't worry! Just sit down; I'll join you right away."

Shion joined Rikiga and Inukashi at the table, as they greeted him happily.

"Working late, as usual?" Rikiga asked.
"Ha yes… between the new projects and taking care of the complaints, the job hasn't become much easier…"
"Do people still complain so much after three years?" Inukashi's voice had a surprised tone in it.
"Well, not as much as before, sure. But a lot of people still haven't accepted the way we reorganized the city. Former elites, mostly… It can't be helped I guess."

Karan interrupted, carrying a huge plate of her famous stew to the table. She started to fill her guests' plates with it while talking.

"I think the Restructuration Committee has done a really good job. The life in the city feels so different than it did before… I don't feel restricted in my actions or thoughts, and to be honest it's nice to be able to enjoy books again, as well as all those other forms of art you imported from other cities."

Shion sipped some water from his glass absently. He didn't really want to talk about his job right now, especially since anything involving books or art made him think of Nezumi. He already wasn't in a really good mood tonight, so he quickly changed the subject.

"Anyway, Rikiga, how is the newspaper doing?"
"Ha quite good, thank you. The business has not stopped growing, and we have hired quite a lot of people as well."
"That's nice", Shion said with a smile. "And what about you Inukashi? I believe the construction of your hotel's new wing is almost finished?"
"It should open next month in fact. Thank you for supporting my request by the way."
"Ah, no problem, of course! If I can help you or Rikiga in any way I would gladly do it."

Little Shionn ran from Inukashi's lap to Karan's, and the older Shion laughed softly.

"I guess he's less shy with you than with me, mom."
"I don't think you should worry about that, he's just more used to me, that's all."
"You should come and visit us at the hotel more often! The dogs miss you, you know."

His mother and Inukashi's voices didn't have any hint of reproach in them, but the words still hit Shion pretty hard. He swallowed a mouthful of stew with some bread and shook his head, trying to sound normal.

"Hm, sure. Sorry I haven't been around that much."
"Ha, don't worry Shion", Rikiga said. "The little brat never comes towards me either."
"Of course he doesn't, I taught him not to go near people like you!", Inukashi said in a defiant tone.
"And what exactly do you mean by that, doggy-boy… girl?"

Shion relaxed at his friends familiar bickering. Some things just stayed the same, and he started laughing out loud, soon followed by his mother and his friends.

The rest of the evening went on nicely, but Shion was gradually feeling quite exhausted. He tried to look casual and happy, but the truth is that by the end of the dinner, every time someone mentioned the fact that he was working too hard or that they didn't see him as often as before, it felt like a hard blow to his chest.

Have I really been neglecting them so much lately?
But I really have a lot of work to do… they just don't understand how hard it is.
Why doesn't anyone understand… I need to work…

He felt a headache coming on behind his forehead and closed his eyes for a second, pinching the bridge of his nose to try and make it go away.

"Shion, are you feeling ok?"

He opened his eyes. The voice had been his mother's, but everyone had a worried look on their faces.

"Ha, yes, I'm just tired, don't worry."
"You shouldn't push yourself so hard, Shion…"
"I know, sorry mom."
"You should take a vacation. I may let you stay at the hotel for free if you help me with Shionn and the dogs", Inukashi said with a wink.
"Thanks Inukashi, but I can't…"
"Don't tell us you can't even take a few days off to rest! Is the Restructuration Committee really forcing you to work until you drop?", Rikiga asked.

Shion's mind wasn't even trying to process their words anymore. The pain inside his head had grown stronger and he felt his heart beat strongly at his temples. He closed his eyes again.

Leave me alone.
I don't want to take a vacation. I don't want to rest. I don't want to think.
Can't you understand? I don't want to think… It hurts… My head hurts…

"Just… Stop it! Everyone, stop it!"

He almost shouted those words. Without realizing it, he had stood up, hands on the table, his body shaking. His mother and his friends were staring at him in shock. Little Shionn stopped playing with the dog and ran to Inukashi's arms, obviously scared by Shion's outburst. Actually, Shion was probably the most surprised that he had let himself go like that.

The white-haired boy took a deep breath and quickly collected himself.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to yell like that. I'm just so tired… I know you all mean well, but, really, I don't need a vacation… Right now I just need to go home and sleep. I'm sorry. I'm glad I could see you though, thank you."

He left the dining room to grab his coat and bag, and gently woke up Tsukiyo who was sleeping next to the plate of bread Karan had laid out for him. The little mouse climbed on his shoulder, and Shion was about to open the door when he felt his mother's hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry Shion. I just wanted to cheer you up."
"I know, and I'm the one who needs to apologize…"
"Somehow… I think I understand why you would want to spend so much time at work. But I'm your mother, and they're your friends. So of course we worry about you."
"I know… It's just…"

He looked away. He didn't want to talk about it.

"I know. Please just… be careful not to neglect your health too much, ok?"
"I'll try. I'm sorry to make you worry… I'll just go to sleep now."

He hugged his mother and left the house. The cold air of the night filled his lungs and he could almost feel it going to his brain and dull the throbbing pain a little. He made his way to his place walking fast, but stopped for a second in front of his apartment door. Every time he opened it, he couldn't help but imagine Nezumi waiting for him inside. He always left his window open, just in case.

Shion opened the door in a swift move and turned on the lights. No one was there.

Of course you're not there. Why would today be any different?

Three years. To him it already felt like forever. To some extent, he understood that Nezumi wanted to see the world and be on his own for a while… But why did he have to leave Shion in the dark? He promised him that they would be reunited, and Shion had put so much hope into those words. He had hung on to them for all of this time, but if they had kept him safe at first… now they felt like a cage. He was trapped by those words, doomed to jump up at every sound coming from outside, doomed to have his hopes crushed day after day as he came home to an empty apartment. His friends were worried, his mother was worried, and he sometimes felt so stupid for desperately hanging on to this promise. And today he had even lost his calm and yelled at the only people who seemed to care about him.

Right… Like you would care… Being away for so long…

Shion winced in pain. Letting anger get to him did not do any good to his headache. He needed to sleep anyway. He got some medicine for the pain from the bathroom and climbed into his bed. Even though he had a lot on his mind, he was so exhausted that he fell asleep after only a few minutes. Tsukiyo settled himself on the pillow next to Shion's, not without staring at the white-haired boy for a moment, like he could somehow feel his distress.


It was still the middle of the night, but Shion was woken up by the startling sound of thunder. A storm was raging outside. The wind was howling and because the window was wide open his curtains were flying madly inside the room. He could hear the rain spattering on the balcony, and reluctantly thought that a good part of the floor was going to get drenched if he didn't close the window.

Groaning a little at being woken up so suddenly, Shion got out of bed and started walking. With every movement of the curtains, he could get glimpses of the city illuminated by lightning. His heart started to beat faster as he approached the window, his eyes unable to look away from the storm. It was nothing like the typhoon that had happened on his 12th birthday, but he was still mesmerized by the sight in front of him.

Forgetting why he had gotten up in the first place, Shion opened the window even wider and stepped on the balcony, barefoot, his cotton pajamas getting drenched almost instantaneously. He walked towards the edge and put his hands over the railing before throwing his head back to feel the cold rain wash over it. He stayed like that for a while, eyes closed, not really thinking, only listening to the thunder, the rain, the wind…

The wind…

He shut his eyes tighter and clenched the railing to stop his body from shaking. Unable to hold it in anymore, he doubled over, his forehand landing over his left hand. Eyes still closed, holding on to the railing for dear life, he let out a loud cry.

It was not a cry of pain. Neither was it the same cry as seven years ago… It was deeper, more powerful… It was a cry of rage, of frustration. The cry of someone unable to let go, unable even to want to let go, no matter how hard it has become to keep holding on. Tears of rage merged with the rain on his face as he fell to his knees, his sobs taking over him.

Shion remained on the balcony for a few minutes, letting go all of the frustration that had piled up inside of him lately. It was only when he felt himself shivering that he realized he was going to get sick. He looked up, his eyes hazy with tears, and took a deep breath before getting up and back inside the room.

He couldn't bring himself to close the window completely, but blocked it with the edge of a chair so that the wind could not force it open. He frowned a little at his inability to do such a simple thing as closing a window, but his freezing body quickly reminded him that he needed a towel and a change of clothes.

Once he was dry and wearing something warm, Shion got back into his bed and sat there for a while. He had left the curtains open, so he could watch the storm from the inside. He put his chin on his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs.

Can you see me, Nezumi?
Can you hear me scream into the night?
When you left… I thought I understood why. I thought I would just wait patiently for you to come back. I thought my feelings for you would be enough to hold on until your return.

But…

How many times do I have to wake up alone?
How many times do I have to feel my heart race at the slightest sound?
How many times do I have to get my hopes crushed before I just can't get enough?

I don't know where you are. Do people treat you right? Did you make friends? Did you fall in love?
I don't even know if you're healthy. What if something had happened to you?

Shion felt tears well up again behind his eyes at his last thoughts. He quickly dismissed the idea… There was no way Nezumi would let himself be erased from this world easily. Still, his chest hurt, like his heart was being crushed from the inside. He closed his eyes and put his hands in his arms.

Knowing nothing… is so hard…

Shion felt powerless. Even if he decided to abandon everything and go on a trip to find Nezumi, he wouldn't know where to start. Anyway, there was no way he would ever do that. He had made a promise to Safu, a promise that he would never dare to break. He just needed to believe that Nezumi would honor his own promise as well.

The white-haired boy took a deep breath and lay back down on the bed, his arms crossed over his head. He felt himself quiet down a little. He needed to hold on, he needed to be strong. For himself, for his mother, for his friends, for Safu… and for Nezumi. Deep down, he was convinced Nezumi would come back. And even when it became too hard, even when the pain was too much to handle and he felt like screaming and punching everything in the room, he would still believe in him.

So yes, sometimes Shion would be angry at everything. Angry at the citizens for being self-centered and not trying to understand how hard it is to rebuild a city. Angry at some members of the Restructuration Committee for being driven by their thirst for power. Angry at himself for expecting Nezumi's return every minute of every day; for throwing himself into his work in order to keep his mind focused on something else thus neglecting his mother and his friends – as well as make them worry.

And you know what the worst part is? I'm not even mad at you.

TO BE CONTINUED


Yes, I know that real mice would never live that long… But real bees are also not supposed to kill you from inside your body so… I guess it's not too disturbing, is it? And seriously, I just can't bring myself to kill them; they're such important characters in the main story…
Anyway, I hope you liked this second chapter, and I'll try my best to work on the third one in October – as it will probably be impossible for me to update in November.