Chapter 2: the beginning
I woke up on a beach. The endless crashing of waves, softly lapping at the sandy shore, is the first thing I remember.
I opened an eye, groaning. A blinding spear of light cut into my brain, instantly triggering a massive headache. I groaned again, trying to put a hand to my head-
Then I was rolling over, retching my guts out. It was a torrent, spewing clear water for what felt like minutes. When it was over, I collapsed, shivering and exhausted.
Something was wrong.
It was a nagging, insistent thought that wormed its way through my misery. Oh god it hurt! My stomach felt like it had been stabbed from the inside, my head was about to split apart from the increasingly painful pressure, and every muscle in my body felt like my legs used to the day after our annual 5k run in Phy Ed.
The waves continued to crash upon the shore, and I slowly became more aware of my surroundings. Most irritating, I began to itch with growing discomfort, grains of the fine sand encrusted in my hair, across my body, itching…
Groaning again, full of self-pity at this point, I shifted my head, glancing down.
Something was wrong, all right. No clothes. No wonder it was so itchy.
What the hell? I wondered. This wouldn't do. Then I froze, feeling something even more important was missing. No ring. No soul gem.
I got up on an elbow, my head hanging pathetically. I felt weak, but was emboldened by the gradual softening of the headache, and my stomach had settled down. I glanced around, then stopped, staring.
I saw, in one direction, a beach stretching along to the horizon, seemingly endless. It was breathtaking, the pale sandy shore and the azure water beyond stretching towards forever, pink clouds and a warm glow under the sun behind my back. I could see a trail in the sand leading up from the water to where I lay. The smell, and the salty taste in my mouth, told me I was looking at an ocean or a sea.
But it was eerily empty. No ships could be seen in the water, no people along the coast. I stood up shakily, brushing the worst of the clinging sand off, and walked down to the water. Stepping in, I strode out a few paces before dunking myself in.
I felt something. I wasn't actually touched, or anything, but I felt this sudden sense of… malevolent hunger, I guess I'd call it. From somewhere nearby, aimed at me. I often go with my gut when in doubt, but this was somehow more than intuition. It was too vivid. Gasping, I stood up and quickly headed back to the beach, feeling immediately foolish at my jumpiness even as my heart raced in fright. Things were strange enough, no need to panic-
Screaming, I ran in panic as the thing emerged from the water in a geyser of spraying droplets. A long, snake-like neck emerged first, hurtling towards the beach in my direction. I noticed this while looking over my shoulder in horrified dismay, seeing the hundreds of needle-like teeth in the thing's horrific maw with perfect detail. I stumbled, and my heart, which was racing like an excited hummingbird, abruptly stopped.
I took a deep breath as I recovered, stumbling, pouring every ounce of energy into running up the treacherous beach as my heart kicked into overdrive. The soft, shifting sand made it difficult to find purchase, and every time I nearly fell I couldn't help looking back in utter terror.
The thing was like something out of a monster movie. Or Loch Ness. A large, sleek body with immense, powerful flippers had emerged behind the long, sinuous neck. Thick and rippling with powerful muscle, the thing had propelled itself ashore maybe thirty feet before stopping. I kept running, watching as it slowly turned around and waddled back into the water.
I kept running.
Half an hour later, I'd collapsed on the thick, lush carpet of grass, gasping and trembling. I'd begun to see signs of life, but the animals I'd encountered were unlike anything I'd seen before, strangely colored birds and large, dangerous looking reptiles.
Cursing myself for a fool, I'd tried to transform. I'd been desperate for a way to defend myself, but would stay desperate for the time being. Nothing happened. It was like everything I'd been connected with, had known how to do back before, was gone. Locked away, or missing, or something.
Spotting a solid-looking rock, I picked it up. Better than nothing.
At this point, things were looking pretty bleak. I had woken up, sans clothing, on a strange beach, with no powers. I'd been attacked by a monster that strongly reminded me of a picture out of a dinosaur book. The last thing I remembered was… well, painful. Vague, but full of misery. Shouting at a friend, ignoring the advice of an enemy and … too stupid, too stubborn to realize that someone I'd thought was an enemy was in fact the opposite.
Something about red hair… I remember giving up. Giving in. I was consumed by a sense of shame. This must be my punishment. This must be Hell.
I'd been heading toward what looked like a forest in the distance, hopeing to upgrade the fist-sized rock I'd picked up with something longer and pointer. I definitely did not feel safe, but, I supposed, that was probably how you were supposed to feel in the realm of eternal suffering.
It wasn't fair. I'd tried to be good, done my best. The unbidden thought echoed through my head, words of my mother. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. It had never made sense to me, just something old people say, but now… All that suffering I'd caused, my selfishness, the ramifications of my failure… She'd tried to warn me. I'd been too stupid, too angry and upset and filled with an angst that made me thirst for oblivion.
My eyes went wide with realization. I could recall, vividly, being a… a mermaid. I know how it sounds, but… an armored mermaid, and I'd been so mad I'd lashed out at anything, not realizing it was friend, not knowing it was my friends, and the redhead had done what I couldn't. She'd protected her, and saved me. At the cost of her own-
I shook my head. None of that made any sense. Or, currently, any difference. As if the cosmos chose that moment to prove my point, a large figure emerged from behind a ridge of tall grass, it's posture stoop-shouldered and aggressive. As it shuffled toward me, holding what appeared to be ropes in one hand, I scrambled back to my feet, trying to will my leaden limbs into motion.
The creature was almost like a man, a tall, thickly muscled man, but it's skin was an olive green, and the thing's face would have made me wet my pants, if I'd had pants and hadn't already emptied myself while being chased by the aquatic dinosaur. It was hideously deformed, with small, black, beady eyes deeply set underneath a sloping brow that would have done a caveman proud. It's jaw was wide, jutted out in a horrific underbite. It was maybe forty feet away, coming right at me, and I could make out the twisted, snaggled teeth that poked out of it's mouth. The thing began to shout in a harsh, guttural series of barking noises, and I spun around to run toward the forest.
I'd taken maybe ten strides when I felt something burning my ankle, and then I was falling head-first into the grass. I realized with a painful attempt to rise that something was holding my legs. Looking down, I saw a thick rope wrapped between my lower legs, which had smooth rocks tied to the end. I fumbled with the rope, but it was too twisted, and then the large, menacing figure was standing over me, it's pig-eyes glaring intensely at me, and I felt a sick wave of fear wash over my soul.
I threw my rock at the approaching brute, feeling hopeless as I watched it bounce off the thick hide the creature wore without effect, at least damage-wise. The hideous face twisted into a snarl as it lunged forward, thick-fingered hands grasping at my throat.
Goddammit all to hell, I thought in despair.
I blinked.
"I won't be doing that, since I play no part in the governance of the infernal realms, but since you called…"
I was standing on an island, surrounded by water. I could tell, somehow, that this was a freshwater lake, maybe from the smell, or being able to see the far shoreline in several directions. Strange, glowing orbs seemed to hover in midair, hard to distinguish in the strong afternoon light.
"What the… what?" I blinked again. Wasn't I just laying on the ground? I turned to look at where the voice had come from. I glanced down, noticing the familiar short dress, the revealing but comfortable blue battle-brassiere, feeling the long white cape hanging limply from my shoulders.
"I thought you may be more comfortable this way. An interesting, if impractical, outfit for your profession." There was a man, standing along the rocky shoreline a few meters away. In profile, he looked quite handsome; strong jaw, regal nose, a slightly mischievous look in his eye as he stared into the distance. He was haloed in a nimbus of glowing light. I felt like he must be staring at something important, so I followed his gaze, seeing hills and plains and forests stretching out into the distance, but otherwise nothing spectacular.
"It's not there yet. You'll see it, though," the man muttered, and when he did, he turned in my direction.
So close, I was able to make out every detail. The side that I'd seen in profile regarded me imperiously, almost expectantly, like I was supposed to be doing something. The other half of his face… I stared, horrified, at the cracked and blackened skin that seemed to cover the entire left side of his body. The flames burned even now, and I realized that I had been kept from seeing them before, the licking, crackling fire glowing brilliantly for a moment. Part of the man's face raining down in crumbling cinder. Oh my god, I thought, ready to freak out if he got any closer.
"That's what I'm here to discuss, actually," the man smirked. "If you're interested in a patron, I'm offering my services. You don't belong here, that much is obvious. Being a newcomer to this… place, I realize you may have some questions."
Hell yes I had questions! "Who the hell are you?" was the first thing that came out of my mouth.
His unburnt eye narrowed. "I am Nethys."
For some reason, that was enough. "Is this Hell?"
The burning man, Nethys, looked around as if perplexed. I got a sense that a lot of his mannerisms were for show. When he'd shared his name, I'd gotten a glimpse at a vast, incomprehensibly powerful mind, something terrifyingly complex and, most disturbingly, seemingly at war with itself. "This is a world, not entirely dissimilar to your own. The hells are far worse; you'd know if you were in one of the infernal realms. I advise against that experience."
"So, this is…"
"This, here, is an island, in the middle of a lake, south of a soon-to-be-important place. This island is currently unoccupied, and has properties that allow me greater… access, I suppose you could say. When you awoke, you were over a thousand of miles south of here, along the coast of what the mortals of this world call the Inner Sea. You're still there, actually; this is more like a dream." The man turned to face me full on, and I could feel the heat, the energy, rolling off him in waves.
"A… dream?" I asked, pinching myself. The man's eyes regarded me with curiosity.
"That doesn't mean it isn't real. You are an interesting anomaly. Before we continue, tell me of the circumstances surrounding your arrival."
I talked for what seemed like hours, unable to stop myself. The words just poured out.
"Ah, so that was it. We felt another like us being born."
"Like you?" I couldn't resist asking. Is this guy using the royal We? His eyes blazed as he turned his gaze toward me. One of them quite literally.
"A god," the man stated, as if it were obvious. "And I'm not that pretentious. I'm talking about the plethora of gods that are interested in the goings on of this specific… planet, I suppose would be your word for it."
Shit, can it read my thoughts?
It's eyes narrowed, causing the beam erupting from his left eye to shimmer dangerously. "I am a god, you foolish girl, of course I can read your thoughts." For a moment, his voice was like thunder, and I couldn't keep from cringing. Just for a second, but still. "You haven't really been talking, anyway. We're having this discussion entirely within your mind."
Ah, so that was it. "Am I crazy, then?" It was almost too much. "Is that what this is? I've snapped, and-"
"Your corporeal existence ended, and you metamorphosised into some form of astral entity, rather like solidified husk of psychic energy. How you and the others managed to maintain cohesion in that state, I have yet to understand. But it seems safe to say that, whatever it was, required vasts amounts of energy."
Others? I wondered.
"You were somehow able to fashion a demi-plane… a pocket realm that, beyond the dimensions of your world, managed a form of stability. It existed, to use the term loosely, adjacent to both your home dimension, and the Astral plane. I am operating under the assumption that this was not an isolated occurrence, such beings have manifested before in your world and created similar dimensional manipulation?" The half-burned man grew impatient as I tried to form an answer.
"I guess…" was the best I could do. He didn't look pleased. I felt something reach into my mind, tingling, and ghostly fingers began sifting through memories. "Hey, stop-"
"An Incubus," the man said. "Fascinating. And such a novel approach."
"Incubator," I corrected with a grimace.
The half-charred man stared at me levelly. "I've heard it both ways."
Another few moments of silence followed. "Aha, intriguing." The man rubbed his chin thoughtfully, heedless of the flames that began to singe his fingers. I stared, I admit in something like horror, as the hand visibly crisped, cooking almost like meat before the flesh began to blackened.
"So, you've had dealings with extraplanar entities before. I'd never imagined the Incubators could be so devious. Calm yourself and relax," he said, turning to look at me again, waving the charred remnant of his hand before his face. Even as I watched, the bony claw reknit itself, the flesh seeming to grow out in wet, red muscle before adopting a healthy, perfect coat of lightly tanned skin.
Despite the words this strange man was using, as he spoke it was like images and explanations began to form inside my mind's eye. I could see what he meant, the barrier existing somehow outside of the normal ebb-and-flow of what most people considered reality.
The silence stretched on for an uncomfortably long period of time, and left to themselves my thoughts turned toward brooding. I was snapped out of my ponderings as the man addressed me again. "I don't usually do this, but I must beg your pardon. I haven't forgotten about you, there's just a lot to process with this new information. Even for me," he chuckled. It wasn't a pleasant sound. "Regardless, there was a tremendous energy release inside this realm, which apparently ejacula-"
"Ejected!" I interrupted, before the thought could finish. This mental imagery that came along with the thoughts had it's down side, I was realizing.
He glared at me. "The energy release ejected you from the bubble between your own Prime Material plane, and the Astral realm. My terminology was more accurate, but yours will suffice. Randomness, fate, your own personal guardian archon, destiny… call it what you will. Somehow, you managed to maintain cohesion, psychically so to speak, and not get eaten by any of the soul devouring entities of that realm.
"And… empty, bodiless, your consciousness unsensing, unknowing… you somehow fell into the Planetary Well, which is essentially an Astral gravity, pulling things towards the solids. Ah, you mortals and your solids." It regarded my confused look with pity, and a burst of imagery and understanding washed across my mind. To him, solids meant everything I thought of as real.
"From there, I can cease having to speculate. You were pulled back into the material world by the planar backwash of a spell gone slightly… awry." Strangely, I got this vivid image in my head of a shadowy, thin figure surrounded by a forbidding forest. It was like he was meditating, sitting inside of an intricate circle that had somehow been carved or burnt into the ground.
With a flash of recognition, I recalled a sense of something, just before I woke up. It had been almost like a dream, or a nightmare, a sense of something vast and hungry and dangerous rushing by me, unseen but undoubtedly felt. And then, a feeling of being called, almost pulling me-
"I… I don't understand. Any of this. What's going on? Why am I here?"
The flames suddenly died, leaving me staring at his charred, blackened skin. The entire left side of his body was a burnt ruin, exactly half, oddly. I watched as the skin cracked, oozing clear fluid as the flesh tore, revealing glistening wet muscle and the white of bone and tendon beneath. I couldn't help but feel disgusted and a little afraid.
"We all must bear our suffering," the man said. "I'll let you know a secret," he continued, suddenly conspiratorial. "That is the meaning of existence."
"What?" I asked, completely confused. I've heard that existence is suffering, but... "You're saying, suffering is the meaning of existence?" And then, it just kind of slipped out. "You're crazy."
The sky seemed to dim. Flames burst out across half of the man. "You are not the first to so accuse me." The darkness seemed to fade a fraction. "Sanity, being a social construct of an infinitely mundane species of incredibly limited perceptions, however, has given me sufficient reason to ignore that particular diagnosis.
"Through suffering, one must struggle, learn to endure. That is what life is, enduring against the formlessness of chaos, struggling against the insatiable appetite of entropy. That is why you are here. Why any of us are here."
"Entropy?" I remembered the word, vaguely, from somewhere.
"It's the tendency for all matter and energy in the universe to evolve toward a state of inert uniformity."
"That doesn't sound so bad," I speculated.
"Trust me, it is." I got a brief sense of an empty, dark universe, a swirling, scattered mass of dead and dying subatomic particles, slowing down as all of reality ground to a halt.
I shivered. "Okay, you're right." He looked at me with pitiless eyes.
"You'll find I often am."
I thought. "Okay, then, this world is dangerous, like you say. I'll contract for my old powers just like I did before."
The burning man looked at me with what I was certain was disgust. "There are two problems with your premise. The first, and most relevant, since your bartering is contingent upon it: you have no soul to bargain with."
My mouth seemed suddenly very dry.
"Secondly, and more importantly from my perspective, I don't make contracts; we gods are above such petty trickery. Those of us with any sense of self-respect, at least. I believe you know the only type of being that indulges in that depraved practice?"
"Incubators?" I guessed, not knowing any other possible answer. The man frowned.
"Yes, but what is an Incubator?"
"Some kind of alien from outer space, I think." I waited. The man was obviously not satisfied with my answer.
"The thought is right there, in your head; your own bizarre world acknowledges the fact, even if they no longer believe it!"
After a while, I thought I knew what he was getting at. "Um, the devil?"
"There is no 'the' devil. Archdevils and demonlords, yes, but there's a whole pack of them. There are, however, a near infinity of regular, plain-old, garden variety devils, and demons, both of which love tricking stupid mortals into parting with the only thing about them that actually matters." He left unsaid that I'd just essentially offered this thing away yet again, and I resolved that I wouldn't trade it away again. If I got it back, that is.
"Devils and demons, huh?"
"That is what I said, therefore that is what is true." It may have been my imagination, but I detected a note of petulance in his voice.
"Okay. Um, how are they different? I thought, you know, they're both, like, evil monsters from hell, basically..."
"To truly comprehend, I would have to devote more time than I am willing to informing you about the nuances that exist between the Nine Hells, the Abyss, Acheron, and the rest of the infernal planes, followed by a crash course in the thirteen and three-tenths eon battle known as the Blood War that has waged between the various demonic and diabolic entities in their eternal struggle for supremacy-"
"When you say it like that, you make it sound like you're not going to explain that stuff to me."
"Well, without knowing the difference between a Balor and a Pit Fiend, you'll have a hard time comprehending the subtleties."
"Boil it down for me."
"I don't understand your meaning."
"Just give me the basics." The man stared at me, slowly burning. "Like, you boil something to make it thicker, get the water out. The condensed version."
"A cooking idiom, how quaint. Your explanation is sufficient. Very well, I will proceed to boil you down. Devils tend to abide by their own twisted code, and are known for their cunning and well-laid plans. Demons are unpredictable monsters, but they can be tricky, and have been known to make deals with mortals when the mood suits them. Although it's not wise to trust one to stick to the bargain in the long run."
"Why would someone make a deal with something like that?"
He eyed me critically. "Why indeed? For the very reason you were so quick to lay your most precious possession at my feet. A quick road to power." I couldn't help but hang my head in shame.
"I… I wasn't thinking-"
"Then perhaps it's time you start."
Frowning, I looked into his eyes. "What am I supposed to do?"
He smiled. "Excellent. Finally a meaningful question. You're in a precarious position, as you well know. Other gods, and certainly demons, might be tempted to take advantage of your situation. Luckily, I am not other gods."
"What is a god, anyway?"
"There's no simple answer, but the simple answer is this: a being that can exist in multiple dimensions at the same time."
I waited for further explanation, but none was forthcoming. "Oh. Okay."
"It would be demeaning to my station to ask permission to continue, so I simply will. What you are supposed to do is this: offer to serve me."
"Serve?" I didn't like the sound of that.
He waved a burning, cracked hand in dismissal. "I have better things to do than micromanage my host of followers. Not so vast as other gods, perhaps," he muttered darkly, but then brightened. "I am, after all, quite selective. And I've decided to select you."
"I don't-"
"Understand?" he finished, rather rudely in my opinion. The derisive sigh wasn't helping my mood, either. "Here's how it works; I invest a miniscule portion of my own infinite power into your mortal vessel, and… you keep doing what you do."
Doing what I do? "That's it? What am I supposed to…"
"Exactly what you were doing before. There are not many examples of the extradimensional entities you used to fight back where you came from, but there are countless dangerous and sinister forces making life miserable for the races I have at least some hope for."
Races? I wondered. I needed time to think.
"You've got all the time you need. I'll ask again, one year from today. Just remember, this may be your second life, or it may be your thousandth, but it is most likely your last. Spend it wisely." The sky, the lake, the very island beneath my feet began to fade, growing insubstantial.
"Wait!" I cried, feeling myself somehow dwindling away into nothingness. "I need help-"
Help yourself, a voice thrummed through my mind. Remember what you are, Sayaka von Seckendorff. Find your path and follow it.
I watched the rock bounce off the approaching figure harmlessly, clenching my hands in frustration. That jerk! It was just like before-
My right hand clenched around something, and I felt confidence surge up from somewhere deep inside, a place that had been locked up ever since I'd woken on the beach.
The green-skinned monster was almost on top of me, it's filthy hands thrusting towards my throat. I could see the wet, mucus-dripping pig nose quiver, a thin line of drool running past its thick, chapped lips. I brought my right arm up and around, a dark streak flashing across to bury itself in the oncoming creature. I felt a satisfying sensation as the blade bit deep, burying itself in my attacker's ribcage. The light faded from the thing's beady eyes, and I watched in morbid fascination as the corpse fell off my sword, nearly severed in two and opening like a hinge as the top half fell backward.
Shaking, I got to my feet. I stood there for some minutes before glancing down at the object clasped in a white-knuckle grip.
I held a sword. In some sense, my sword. It seemed to hum with connection, and holding it felt like an extension of my arm. It was different, though. It had changed.
My earlier swords had been a combination of East and West; a kind of saber-like katana. It was elegant, silver with an mirrored finish. They'd been made by magical energy.
This was solid. It was monochromatic, a sort of dark grey bordering on black. Where my former swords had curved back, perfect for cutting long, slashing wounds into an enemy, this blade curved forward. The top half was bent forward slightly, wide and convex, slimming down and turning concave near the hilt. Hefting it, if felt more like an axe than a sword, the weight distributed toward the tip rather than near the hilt.
I wiped the blood and other viscera off the blade, disgusted but determined. Shrugging for my own benefit, I knelt over the destroyed corpse and began to cut away at the filthy garment the creature had worn, amazed at how easily the keen edge of my sword sliced through the thick, cured hide. I tried humming to distract myself, but it just seemed too strange.
Tying one strip of the filthy material around my waist, the other around my chest, I debated my next course of action. The forest loomed in the distance, but I was filthy, covered with gore and wearing unwashed, probably lice-infested rags. The sun was falling towards the horizon, I was suddenly desperately hungry, and I had absolutely no idea where to go.
Grimly, I set out into the approaching dusk.
I spent a long time in that wilderness, fighting to survive. I'll tell you one thing; nature is not kind to bare feet. It was weeks before I came across any sign of humanity, and when I did, things hardly got easier.
A year later, I knelt before the burning man in my dented, battered armor, and received his blessing. Bloodied and betrayed… I felt like an entirely different person.
A year after that is where I will finally begin my story.
