I Do Not Own CSI, but if i did nobody would have left or be leaving the show!


My tears flow freely. I've always been one to openly show my emotions, it's never bothered me even when I do get some flack from it because I'm a guy. Right now I don't care what anyone thinks of me because right now I'm putting my best friend, my brother in the ground.

As I listen to the sounds around me I can slightly hear the minister read off some poem about life and death and how Warrick's life ended too soon. Damn right it ended too soon, the man wasn't even forty years old. He had so much going for him, so much so that my heart breaks a little more every time I think about what he's going to be missing.

Looking up at the people around me my heart hurts even more. I see Catherine being held up by Lindsay and her mom, sobs racking her body. Greg, Greg is standing with his hands in his pockets looking at the ground trying to keep his own tears at bay. Jim's standing straight, his back rigid, staying strong for those around him who need his strength. To the side of Jim is Grissom and Sara, holding hands until there knuckles are white, supporting one another as best one can at a time like this.

I hear the minister finish his prayer and I walk up to Warrick's coffin, not ready to say goodbye but knowing that I have to. Grabbing a handful of dirt I spread it over his casket,

'Ashes to ashes' goes through my head.

By the time I look up I only see Greg standing with me, everyone else already making there way over to that little bar Warrick's grandmother insists we go to

"Come on Greg, let's go get a beer, drink to Warrick" I say clasping Greg on the shoulder

Twenty minutes later Greg and I pull up to the bar. From the outside it looks a little shabby but I know this place, the inside is immaculate. Warrick dragged me here a couple times after a bad case.

Entering the bar the first thing I seek out is getting a drink. Greg seems to know exactly what I'm thinking because he follows me over and order's a beer right after me

"To Warrick" I say tapping my beer against Greg's, giving him a nod and a sad smile we each take a long drink of our beers. After a week from hell and us still not being able to find the person responsible for Warrick's death I think we deserve this drink.

Right now all I want to do is go home, I'm mentally and physically exhausted and I don't know how much more my body can go through before I finally collapse

In the background I hear music start to play, something with a soulful beat, something Warrick might even listen to even though it's really not his genre of music.

I watch as Grissom takes a large gulp and finishes off his drink and grab Sara and take her to the dance floor, holding her like he wants to disappear in her and all I can see Sara do is hold him tighter as the music plays

I got my finger on the trigger

But I don't know who to trust

When I look into your eyes

There's just devils and dust

The only people I know I can trust right now are what's left of our team and Sara. When I watched your coffin being lowered it finally really hit me that whoever did this is probably one of Vegas' biggest mobsters and I have no idea how were going to get him. But I made a promise, to Grissom, the team, and to Warrick that we will find him and make him pay for what he has done

We're a long, long way from home, Bobbie

Home's a long, long way from us

I feel a dirty wind blowing

Devils and dust

I got God on my side

I'm just trying to survive

What if what you do to survive

Kills the things you love

Fear's a powerful thing

It can turn your heart black you can trust

It'll take your God filled soul

And fill it with devils and dust

Right now my own faith in God is being tested. God and I have almost always been on the same page, even with this job. I know God is not responsible for the death and crime we see day in and day out, people and free will are, but right now I can't help but want to blame God for all that has happened

Warrick followed a lead on a case that led him to Gedda, he found justice for that stripper that Gedda had killed and we proved Warrick's innocence at the same time. But in doing so, doing what Warrick did and never let up on the case, knowing that there was more then meets the eye ultimately killed him. His courage to find the truth lead to his death.

Well I dreamed of you last night

In a field of blood and stone

The blood began to dry

The smell began to rise

Well I dreamed of you last night

In a field of mud and bone

Your blood began to dry

The smell began to rise

I can still smell you're blood on my hands, in my hair, everywhere. I haven't been able to sleep since I found you slumped over your car, you're blood puddling at my feet. I tried Warrick, I really did try with all my heart to keep you alive but I guess I didn't try hard enough.

I know you would smack me silly if you knew I was blaming myself for what happened to you, but how can I not. I should have walked you out to you're car or insisted that we hang out at my place or yours. If I would have just insisted maybe we wouldn't be here right now

We've got God on our side

We're just trying to survive

What if what you do to survive

Kills the things you love

Fear's a powerful thing

It'll turn your heart black you can trust

It'll take your God filled soul

Fill it with devils and dust

As the song continues I realize that Greg is talking to me and I start to nod along with what he's saying, making it look like I've been paying attention until he stops talking and just looks at me

"You didn't hear a word I just said did you" he says with a sad smile on my face

"Sorry Greg"

Now every woman and every man

They want to take a righteous stand

Find the love that God wills

And the faith that He commands

After Warrick died and we all sat in Grissom's office in shock I remember Grissom getting up and closing the door and blinds. I thought he wanted us to leave because he was grabbing his jacket as he was speaking

'I'm making a promise to you now, together we will find whoever did this and when we do he will pay. This is my promise to you and I hope you can promise me the same thing back' he said shocking every one of us with the venom in his voice

We all spoke quickly after that, agreeing that no matter what or who stands in our way, you're killer will be caught Warrick

I've got my finger on the trigger

And tonight faith just ain't enough

When I look inside my heart

There's just devils and dust

I can start to feel my tears coming close to spilling over again as this song continues. All I feel right now is empty, sadness and the feeling of just being spent. There's nothing left, when I look into my own heart right now all I feel is devil's and dust

Well I've got God on my side

And I'm just trying to survive

What if what you do to survive

Kills the things you love

Fear's a dangerous thing

It can turn your heart black you can trust

It'll take your God filled soul

Fill it with devils and dust

I can hear Warrick's voice in my head right now telling me that we'll all be ok, we'll survive and get through this. That he'll always be around, haunting my ass from the grave.

It's that thought that makes me smile and even let out a sad laugh making Greg look at me with a funny expression

It'll take your God filled soul

Fill it with devils and dust

"He's going to haunt us to the end Greg"


Ok so originally I wasn't going to post more then what I first wrote but apparently there's more to be written because my muse won't leave me, this story and this song alone. So what I think I'm going to do is post a chapter for each person's point of view.

Again the song is Bruce Springsteen's Devil's and Dust. Try listening to it while reading

Please be kind and leave a review.

Katie