I float through my days at the Ministry, mostly keeping to my desk, every now and then smiling at a colleague when necessary. It's not that I feel unwelcome—quite the contrary, I was practically begged to take the job —I just feel so off at home that I just can't concentrate. The only other time I'd ever felt this distracted was sixth year, and it nearly ruined my educational career. But now I feel like I just can't shake it. Everything's out of sorts…

I always knew those long months on the run that we had little chance to survive. Harry was the most wanted man in all of Britain, and I was his known accomplice, and a Muggleborn at that! And when they found out that Ron wasn't sick at all, he'd be right up there with us at the top of the list. I thought Harry might make it pretty far, maybe even face Voldemort. But to get through it all, the three of us, to the very end and beyond, I could have never imagined that would be a reality.

And so I kissed Ron Weasley. Yes, I thought it was my last chance. It wasn't that I thought I'd never experience a real kiss if I didn't just pick a boy and snog the life out him. I loved Ron with every bit of me and I was terrified. I was scared that I'd never know what it was like to kiss him. To be close to him. I wasn't sure at that moment that he loved me like I loved him, but I didn't care because in my mind, I was dead anyway.

I have lunch with Ginny every Tuesday. She tries not to mention Ron and I can tell it's hard because he's very much in her life. She tells me stories about Harry and her and I know she leaves out the bits where Ron is there and he says something funny because I know she wants to tell the joke but she doesn't want to watch me try to hide the smile I feel creep up on me. I think she knows how much hurts me to pretend I don't mind that he kicked me out of his life. But I continue to feed Harry and her lies about how I'm better off this way, just like he told me I'd be.

Today, we had lunch at the Three Broomsticks, a place I try to avoid most of the time. The chance of running into Ron are too great there, and in all of Hogsmeade. But Ginny was short on time today and we both knew we could get in and out of there quickly. As we sip our butterbeers I describe my flat to her: the little kitchen, my new armchair that Crookshanks has already claimed as his own. And before I know it, lunch is over and she's promised to Floo over after work to have a 'real drink'. I head back to my office, half an hour early and think about getting out ahead of schedule tonight. I pass my neighbor's office and she calls out to me. Great.

"Hello, Cynthia, what's up?" I ask, hoping it's a quick question and not a lengthy conversation she has in mind.

"Hey, Hermione. I had a question for you," Thank Merlin. "Now, you don't have to answer, but…I was wondering if you were seeing anyone at the moment," I stare at her blankly. "I mean, you know, romantically."

What did I do to deserve this? "Um, no. No I'm not. Why do you ask?" Cynthia and I are what I suppose you call friends. Although I'm not really sure because all of the real friendships I have are rooted in something so deep that I'm not sure Cynthia is allowed to fall in the same category. However, we have lunch together a couple times a week and we've gone for drinks once, so maybe in my reality she's an acquaintance.

"Well, I really don't mean to pry but I have a friend who I think would be just…great for you and I was, you know, wondering…"

"You're trying to set me up?" I ask, wanting to get to the point. She clears her throat, obviously trying to gauge whether or not I'm mad at her. "Let me think about it okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Of course. See ya," she calls as I'm leaving her office.

I sit at my desk and take a deep breath then flick my wand and the door shuts. The thought of dating someone has got my heart pounding. The image of kissing a handsome man after a lovely evening makes my head spin and I wonder if I'm going to see my lunch again. Never, before two minutes ago, had I even dreamed about seeing someone else. Maybe I've been thinking Ron will change his mind, or maybe I just know I'm meant to spend the rest of my days alone.